Who Hardens and Softens Hearts?

This evening, I was reminded of one of God's many capabilities. Exodus 11:3 says, among other things, that "the Lord gave the people favour in the sight of the Egyptians." That's something that God can do. While the Joseph Smith Translation makes it clear that the Lord didn't harden Pharaoh's heart, it's clear that He didn't soften his heart, either, which is also something He could have done. God can influence people's hearts. He just sometimes chooses not to.

I wonder how this fact of potential Celestial influence interacts with agency. Naturally, we are usually free to make our own choices, but what about when God softens hearts? I suppose it's possible that God's influence on our hearts is limited by our willingness to accept that influence. Then, could it not be said that the Egyptians softened their hearts towards the Hebrews, just as the Pharaoh hardened his?

I hold that each person is responsible for the hardness or softness of their own hearts, despite external influences. Sure, I get mad sometimes, and it can be difficult not to, but I can practice retaining control. People may irritate, and God can try to harden or soften hearts, but the choice is ultimately up to us. We choose what we so, and we, to a large extent, also choose how we feel. We can exercise control over our own feelings and emotions, regardless of the effects others have (or try to have) on us.

How to Fantasize Effectively

As I was reading my Psychology textbook recently, I was surprised to come across a section about imaginary practice. Apparently, those with some skill at a task can keep their practice up even by just visualizing it. Granted, some actual practice is beneficial, too, but visualizing practice had an additional, assisting effect.Yet, the textbook noted that visualizing practicing was far more helpful than visualizing succeeding. On page 321, the textbook says, "The point to remember: It's better to spend your fantasy time planning how to reach your goal than to focus on your desired destination."

Some people say that one way to help reach a goal is to visualize that goal, to think about accomplishing that goal and focus on how it'll feel to do so. While this can have some helpful effect, it seems that picturing the process is far more helpful than picturing the desired result. Thus, if we want to improve a skill like scoring free throws, then in addition to actually practicing, we should imagine the process of practicing, and not just imagine the ball going through the hoop.

We all have a goal that we would like to reach, a desired destination, and it's fine to imagine what it might be like to reach that goal, but it's likely even more helpful to mentally practice doing what it will take to get there. If we focus too much on our destination, we may lose sight of our path, and we may never actually make it. Yet, if we visualize our path and ourselves following it, then actually following that path will become easier, and reaching the destination will ultimately take care of itself.

Naturally, it's good to have a clear vision of what you hope to accomplish, but it's also very helpful to have a clear vision of how you are going to accomplish it.

"If"

Many prophecies, promises, and covenants begin with, or at least include, the word "if." "If you do this, I will do that." "If so-and-so does this, this is what's going to happen." I like these kinds of promises and prophecies because they leave the decisions up to us. If some doom is foretold to come upon us if we take a certain course of action, we can simply choose to do something else, eluding the doom. If God offers us a promise that He will grant us a certain blessing if we keep a certain commandment, we are still free to choose whether we keep that commandment or not (and, at the same time, choose whether we qualify for that blessing or not).

The main problem I have with commandments is that they are commandments. God commands, and we obey. God is our king, and we are His subjects. I'm not okay with that. Maybe I will be when I grow wiser, I will be okay with that, but right now, I like the idea of freedom too much to be okay with anyone, even God, telling me what to do.

However, I'm perfectly fine with God telling me what He will do if I take a certain course of action. If He wants to tell me "If you do this, I will do that," that's fine. In fact, I appreciate the advance notice, and it might factor into my decision. Whether it's a promised blessing or a warning of punishment, it's good to know what'll happen if I make a certain choice. And, personally, I'm more likely to make the right choices if I don't feel like I'm being pressured into doing so. With "if" promises and warnings, there's no pressure. If I keep the commandment, I'll get the blessing, and if I don't, I won't. Even with punishments, the "if" part of the warning leaves the choice in my hands. Sure, the choice may be between servitude or punishment, but at least the choice is mine. I'm glad God lets me "pick my poison," so to speak.

Perhaps I'm too keen on using the agency and intellect God gave me, but it seems like a waste not to use them to consider my options and make my own choices, and I appreciate God telling me how things will work out if I do.

Assume the Best

In church last Sunday, I heard a quote from Elder Dale G. Renlund that really stood out to me, and that same day, the General Conference YouTube channel published a video including that same quote. 

When love of Christ envelops our lives, we approach disagreements with meekness, patience, and kindness. We worry less about our own sensitivities and more about our neighbor’s. We “seek to moderate and unify.” We do not engage in “doubtful disputations,” judge those with whom we disagree, or try to cause them to stumble. Instead, we assume that those with whom we disagree are doing the best they can with the life experiences they have.

I especially like that last part. I don't know if it's true or not, but I find it comforting to think that everyone's doing the best they can. Everyone is, to the best of their ability, trying to what they, using the light that they have, believe is the right thing to do. Granted, it can be hard to justify certain behaviors, like committing murder, but some people have a desperately small amount of light. Perhaps, instead of judging people as "being evil" for doing things that we consider to be evil, we can try to sympathize with them and try to understand how they got to that point. People aren't born evil. People are inherently good. If we seek out the good in people, we can help them to see it too, and maybe we can help it to grow.

Ultimately, I think it's good to assume the best in people, or at least that they're doing the best they can, not just because it might be true, but also because it's a more peaceful way to live.

Peace In This World

One of my favorite scriptures I've heard at church today may be one of my favorite scriptures I've ever heard, D&C 59:23, "But learn that he who doeth the works of righteousness shall receive his reward, even peace in this world, and eternal life in the world to come." This is an incredible promise and one that I am very interested in realizing. I love peace, and I would love to have more peace, and I'm glad that the conditions of this promise are, as written, fairly achievable. I can do the works of righteousness. I may not always have righteousness in my heart, and I may occasionally do some works of wickedness as well, but I can do the works of righteousness. And if God is offering peace in exchange for righteousness, I'll take that trade in a heartbeat. Heck, I was probably going to do at least a handful of the works of righteousness anyway, if only out of habit. But if doing the works of righteousness will also get me the peace that I've been fighting for, that sounds like a wonderful promise to me.

Preview, Practice, Perform

I've been playing a good amount of Mario Kart lately. Specifically, Mario Kart 8 Deluxe for the Nintendo Switch. This game has a dozen "cups," sets of four race courses each, and it has five settings for speed: 50cc, 100cc, 150cc, 150cc (but the courses are all flipped to be mirror images of the way they normally are), and 200cc. 200cc races are insanely fast, and racing at these speeds requires different mechanics than racing at the slower speeds does. I've been trying, with some success, to master the courses at 200cc, and I've actually figured out a program that makes this fairly manageable.

First, I "preview" the cup I want to master. I make an initial attempt at it, not really expecting to do well, but expecting to learn. I refamiliarize myself with the layout of each course, identify the turns that'll be difficult to take at these speeds, and try to figure out the best way to race those courses. If any of the courses are particularly challenging, I move on to the next phase: Practice.

In addition to the racing cups, you can also set up "VS Races," where, instead of racing the same four courses in a specific order, you can choose which courses to race on, and in which order. Using VS Races, I can race on the same course repeatedly, practicing that course specifically, until I get good at it.

Once I'm confident with each course in the set, I attempt to "perform" that set of races, to see if I have truly mastered that cup. I attempt each course in order, and if I get first place in all four races, I have mastered that cup.

But I realize that this "Preview, Practice, and Perform" program can be used for far more than just Mario Kart. Almost any skill could benefit from approaching it this way. First, take a stab at it and find areas where you're weak, then practice those areas specifically, then try again once you've mastered the areas in which you previously struggled. If any weak spots remain, identify them and practice them. If not, then congratulations, you have successfully mastered that skill. Granted, not all skills can be safely "previewed." Some skills need to be studied and practiced extensively before an actual attempt is made. Yet, with skills with lower-stakes, previewing them can be a good way to identify areas where you need to practice before you can perform again.

I glad that I learned this program from a low-stakes skill like playing Mario Kart. I'm looking forward to applying the Preview, Practice, and Perform program to other skills in real life.

"Do You Stop Believing...?"

I recently watched a movie called Rise of the Guardians, which, despite having nothing to do with religion, had some fairly interesting and powerful messages about faith. For now, I want to focus on something the main character, Jack Frost, says toward the end of the film. When a child said he was worried that he might stop believing in Jack Frost and the other Guardians, Jack asked him "Do you stop believing in the moon when the sun comes up? Or do you stop believing in the sun when clouds block it out?" Naturally, the answer was "No."

Our faith is sometimes challenged by the light of new information or the temporary dimming of our faith. When that happens, it may be tempting to forsake the light entirely or wonder if we ever had any real light at all. But truth is no less valid for the existence of other truths and one source of light isn't dimmed by another. Neither is light permanently dimmed by anything that may cloud our vision of it and that may get between us and the light. There are truths worth holding onto, even when other truths appear or when the truth becomes hard to see. We need to hold on to the light we have and do our best to add to it.

Changing circumstances can make it easy to stop believing, but if we hold on to the light we have and continue to embrace new ones, we can find that there are many lights in the sky, and all of them can offer guidance, even when some of them are temporarily dimmed.

Sick and Afflicted

When we pray, we often ask God to "bless the sick and afflicted," but really, that's everyone. We're not all always sick, though some of us are always sick and all of us get sick sometimes, but we are all afflicted. All of us have afflictions to endure and challenges to overcome. We all have hardships to face and mountains to climb. If we pray on behalf of all those who are dealing with difficulties and afflictions, then we are praying an behalf of everyone on the planet. And you know, there's something very Christian about that. Jesus Christ gave His life to bless everyone who would ever live, both the righteous and the wicked. He bore everyone's burdens, and we all had/have burdens to bear. I hope that we keep praying for God to bless all the sick and the afflicted, and I hope that He continues to do so. We all have afflictions to deal with, and we could all use God's help in dealing with them.

Paycheck Delayed

I just got my paycheck for February, over a week later than I would normally have expected it. Apparently, there was an error during the processing, resulting in my paycheck and those of my coworkers being late. This, fortunately, wasn't a big issue for me. I don't have many expenses, and those I do have were easily covered by my savings. Others, I'm sure, weren't as fortunate. Some people live paycheck to paycheck, making barely enough to pay their bills each month. For people like that, it makes a much bigger difference exactly when their money comes in and exactly when their debts fall due. For a lot of people, it's practically vital for them to get their money when they need it, and they can't afford unpredictability or delays.

This experience has gotten me thinking about blessings from God and how they tend to come of God's timetable rather than ours. Sometimes, blessings come almost immediately once we've proven worthy of them. Sometimes even before. And other times, they're delayed, perhaps even until after death. I suppose, then, our task is to be economical about our blessings. Knowing that our blessings may come sooner or later than we expect, we should try to make sure we can get by and stay faithful without them for as long as we need to. When we are richly blessed, we should try not to get too comfortable relying on receiving so many blessings, and when we are less richly blessed, we should try to hold out as long as possible until our blessings come.

Our blessings may not come when we want them to or when we expect them to, but I just hope that we can count on getting the blessings we need by the time we really need them.

Still Sick and Tired

I spent the entire day being sick, accomplishing basically nothing, just trying to rest and get better, and I'm really not sure I succeeded at that. I don't think it's Covid. At least, I really hope it isn't. I've been vaccinated, and I got my booster, so theoretically, I should be okay. I'm sure I'll be healthy again before too long, but exactly how long I'll remain sick is anybody's guess. I'll do what I can to take care of myself, but besides that, it's mostly up to God. I guess I'll just have to do what I can and just see how it goes.

Sick and Tired

I can't blog tonight. I'm really tired, and I think I'm coming down with something, so I really need to rest up and try to get healthy again.

Our bodies are stewardships from God. We're responsible for doing our best to take care of them, including by giving them the rest that they need.

Ups and Downs

Something we've seen as we've read about Joseph in Egypt is that life is full of ups and downs. Joseph was well favored by his father, then then he was sold into slavery by his brothers. Then he was doing well again, until he was falsely accused and thrown into prison. He did well in prison, too, but he was forgotten. When he was finally released, he interpreted Pharaoh's dream and saved all of Egypt and his family, which was great, except that resulted in his family's descendants being enslaved by the Egyptians. And on and on it goes, with good fortune and misfortune following one another in an endless cycle of blessings and afflictions and afflictions that ultimately work out to become blessings. 

It's frustrating. One would think that being righteous would mean that one would have more blessings than afflictions, but since many of those afflictions turn out to be blessings in disguise, it can be hard to say even whether a person is being blessed or cursed. In theory,  revocation of blessings can be a call to repentance, a sign that God isn't pleased with the person whose blessings He revoked, but as we see with Joseph, that's not always the case. So, what are we to make of the ups and downs in our lives? When misfortune befalls us, how can we know whether the afflictions are signs of God's disapproval or whether they're blessings in disguise?

I'm not sure we can know. It may be that the only thing we can do is try to repent and be righteous, regardless of our circumstances and accept the fact that our circumstances will improve and regress, regardless of our actions. Sometimes the righteous are blessed and the wicked are punished, and sometimes the wicked are temporarily allowed to prosper and the righteous are given afflictions that ultimately become blessings. Thus, we cannot tell from our current circumstances whether God is blessing us or cursing us or whether He's pleased with us or not.

As far as I know, God never stopped being pleased with Joseph, yet his life had plenty of ups and downs. Our lives will certainly have plenty of ups and downs, too, no matter how God feels about us.

All That God Really Asks of Us

Here's a quote attributed to Arthur Ashe: "Start where you are. Use what you have. Do what you can."

That is, I sincerely hope, all that God really asks of us. He doesn't require us to act on knowledge any better than the knowledge we have. He doesn't demand that we perform better than we are capable of performing. All He asks of us is that we start where we are, wherever we are, use our knowledge to figure out the best way forward as well as we can, and then do our best to make progress in that direction. God is forgiving of mortal shortcomings. At least, I certainly hope He is.

I'm lost in the fog He dropped me in, and I'm tripping over the feet He gave me. I'm doing my best to be a good person, whatever the heck that actually means. I hope He can be patient with me, and I hope I can be patient with Him, because we're in this together, and neither of us can get me through this without the other's help.

I don't know whether I'm gradually finding my way or whether I'm slowly becoming more lost, but either way, I'm doing the best I can out here, and I pray that that's good enough.

Difficult to Explain

I have a thought that's somewhere between wishful thinking, hopeful pessimism, and willful self-delusion. I hope that God is not omnipotent. I hope that (at least part of) the reason He doesn't explain certain things to us (or rather, to me, specifically) is because He can't. I hope that the reason God doesn't explain some things to me is because He can't explain it to me in a way that I would understand.

I mean, that's plausible, right? We might understand complex thoughts like advanced mathematics, but good luck trying to explain those concepts to a dog. In theory, an omnipotent being could implant such knowledge into the mind of a dog, but we, lacking said power, are unable to teach even the smartest dogs math beyond basic arithmetic (at least, I'm pretty sure someone taught a dog how to add and subtract, but still, anything approaching calculus is clearly out of the question).

Perhaps the same is true in our case. God has knowledge beyond our understanding, and I have prayed for God to give me some of that understanding, but maybe He just can't. Maybe He can't give me the answers I'm looking for because I just can't understand them, and He lacks the power to help me understand.

So, yeah, I hope God's not omnipotent. I hope that there are some things that God can't do, including explaining certain things that, as it turns out, are just too difficult to explain.

Power and Responsibility

I've noticed a trend in my last two blog post titles. Though it was purely coincidental, it'd be a shame not to continue the trend now noticed in order to apply the rule of three.

There is a saying often associated with Spider-man, "With great power, (comes / there must also come) great responsibility." In the character of Spider-man, the link between power and responsibility is explored, since he, gifted with power, must take on the responsibility of being a superhero, even to the detriment of all other aspects of his life.

Frankly, I'm not sure how healthy that is, or even, in the long run, how helpful that could be. It's not healthy to always put others' needs before one's own. There will be times when going to someone else's aid will put you in a position of needing aid. Further, it's not emotionally healthy. Excessive service can lead to burnout, even to the point of making someone less effective at giving service. Ultimately, it's important to know your limits, to take breaks, and to take care of yourself as well as others. A sword that has grown dull from overuse doesn't cut as well as a sword that spends time away from battle, being sharpened.

Those who have the power to help have the responsibility to help others, but they also have a more primary responsibility to help themselves. We need to take care of ourselves so that we can have the mental and physical energy we need to help others.

And for me, right now, this means that I have a responsibility to stop blogging for tonight and get some sleep.

Provocation and Retaliation

I might be playing Strahd wrong. Count Strahd von Zarovich, Lord of the Valley of Barovia, was standing on Yester Hill, staring off into the distance, while some nearby Druids, loyal to Strahd, but with goals of their own, were performing a ritual to awaken a massive tree monster to destroy a nearby building. Now, Strahd couldn't care less about the building or even the druids' lives, so when a party of heroic adventurers came to stop the druids, Strahd merely looked on in mild indifference. As the party started defeating the druids with their remarkable talents, Strahd was eventually convinced that they were worthy of some of his attention. Still, he stayed neutral, preferring to see how the battle played out instead of joining the battle to support his supporters. If fact, the only time Strahd made any aggressive moves toward any of the party was when one of them incessantly attacked him.

Now, because Strahd is supposed to be the main villain of the story, the character whom the player's characters hate and whom they ultimately wish to kill, perhaps I should have made Strahd more aggressive, violent, evil, and hateable. But I figured that there's plenty of time in the campaign to convince the party to hate Strahd later, if it is even necessary for them to hate Strahd at all, and Strahd's indifference towards his underlings' survival made him plenty evil. Besides, Strahd's relative indifference about this whole situation illustrated an interesting point: he only attacked one member of the party, and only because that party member attacked him first. If Strahd had been left alone, he would have left the party alone.

And so it is with many people. Most people are perfectly content to leave other people alone, until they are provoked. Whether because they have no ill intentions toward us, or because we are merely beneath their notice, most people won't attack anyone unless they themselves feel that they have been attacked. Some weeks ago, I had a personal experience with this. I had been experiencing intense frustration, and I gave in to the urge to lash out in no particular direction. No one else was around at the time, but one person proved to be in earshot, and that individual felt attacked by my lashing out. That individual responded by reproving me, and I, feeling attacked by that reproof, continued to behave unkindly. With both parties feeling that they had been and were being unfairly attacked by the other, we both acted with more aggression than either of us normally feel for each other. It seems to me that we both felt that we would have left the other alone if only they had left us alone, and we each retaliated only insofar as we had felt that we had been attacked.

The moral of the story is to not start fights, and perhaps, when a fight has started, to deescalate rather than to retaliate. Naturally, it takes a good deal of humility and patience to deescalate rather than starting or perpetuating fights, but if we do that, if we refrain from provoking others and refrain from responding in kind even when provoked, we will start and continue fewer fights, and we will have greater peace. This particular combat scene is extending into its third straight role-playing session because neither Strahd nor his assailant were willing to stand down, and we can only wait and see how the fight will continue to play out when it resumes next week. But however this plays out, I choose to see it as a cautionary tale. Both parties would have had more peace had they not confronted nor retaliated against the other. If we want peace, and I certainly do, we need to learn not to attack others and, except when necessary, not to strike back at others when they attack us.

Punishments and Rewards

In my Psychology class this week, we're learning about learning. Specifically, we're learning about how people learn (or unlearn) certain habits or behaviors in response to rewards and punishments. And one of the more interesting things I've learned is that punishment doesn't really work. Punishment may help to suppress certain behaviors under certain circumstances, but it will mostly only develop a sense of fear or resentment against the punisher. I suppose that may be why God prefers to use promised blessings instead more than threatened punishments. Promised blessings, and actualized blessings in mortality, can reinforce and encourage good behavior and help people maintain the motivation to maintain a righteous lifestyle.

I'm glad we've learned some of what works and what doesn't in terms of helping people behave well, and I'm especially glad that the more optimal method also happens to be the more pleasant one. It's little wonder, then, why God would prefer to bless rather than to punish. Positive reinforcement works in a way that punishment doesn't, and frankly, it's a nicer form of persuasion anyway.

The Next Step

Latter-Day Saint author Brandon Sanderson once wrote one of his characters saying something profound about the most important step a person can make: "The most important step a man can take. It's not the first one, is it? It's the next one. Always the next step, Dalinar." Unfortunately, I don't know who Dalinar is or any of the rest of the context for this quote, but I still agree with this sentiment. The first step is fairly important, especially when it's upcoming, but it's not a good idea to contemplate the first step so much that one never takes it. Additionally, all previous steps may be helpful in determining how one got where they are, but it's not helpful to dwell too much on what steps one has taken and what steps they wish they had taken instead. It's always best to move forward from wherever one is, and that involves looking to the future. Steps in the far future can wisely be anticipated, but our paths can twist in ways we don't expect, and the time to focus on those steps will come later, if they come at all. Instead, the most urgent, important, and pressing step one can take is the next one.

We should look back to see what lessons we can learn from the past, and we should look forward to keep an eye on where we're going, but the most important step to focus on is the next one, the one you can take right now to help you down a path that leads from where you are now (wherever that is) to wherever you want to be (wherever that is). Your path is yours to choose, but wherever you are now and wherever you want to be, the most important thing you can do is always to take the next step in the right direction.

Each Moment Once

This blog post is late because I spent all evening playing a board game with my family. Though, in hindsight, perhaps I should have done my evening chores (including blogging) first. The dirty dishes are just going to have to wait for me to load and run the dishwasher tomorrow.

It's an unfortunate fact of reality that each moment can only be spent once. Every moment I spend with my family in the front room is a moment that I'm not spending with the dishes in the kitchen. Every moment I spend blogging is a moment I'm not spending helping my sister. Every moment I spend trying to think of more examples for this point I'm trying to make is a moment I'm not spending finally going to bed. And all that is also true in reverse. Every moment I spend doing anything is a moment I'm not spending doing anything else. We can only spend each moment once.

So, we would do well to be mindful of how we spend our moments. We should try to make sure that the things we make time for are the most needful things. Spending time with the family is important, but the dishes still need to be done (tomorrow). I need sleep and rest to regain the energy I'll need for tomorrow, but I also need to blog first. Life is full of trade-offs, and that truth is especially apparent in the case of time. At this exact moment, I'm trading time I could spend sleeping in exchange for trying to write a decent conclusion to this blog post instead. At the moment, that sounds like a good trade, but tomorrow morning, I may wish I had chosen differently.

Of course, this isn't so big of an issue to be worth spending time worrying about it. It's alright. I use my time well enough, and I'm generally satisfied with how I spend my time. But right now, I think it'd be wise to spend some time sleeping, so I'll hopefully have the energy to spend my time well tomorrow.

The Virtue Continuum

I really like this idea. Naturally, it's fairly easy to fall into most of these vices, but it's also possible to over-correct and fall into the opposite vice. Naturally, a person's goal should be to try to find a healthy balance, but that can be easier said than done. I suppose that's part of why it's so important to continually strive to repent and improve: It's easy to fall into vice through an excess or deficiency of any possible trait. As we strive for virtue, we should note that it is to be found in moderation, not in having the maximum or minimum possible level of any given trait.

Don't Let It Control You

During one of my conversations today, one of the topics that came up was the importance of having self control, especially in the face of circumstances outside of our control. As I recall, I said something like "If you can't control it, don't let it control you."

I had an opportunity to practice that principle this evening, when a circumstance not entirely within my control threatened to jeopardize my control over my emotions. Thankfully, I'm happy to say that I mostly maintained my composure, despite how tempting it was to lose it. Now I am exercising what control I have, including self control, to improve the situation as well as I can.

There will be times when situations try to get the better of us, but we need to learn to not let our circumstances control us, especially when we have limited control over them. It has been said that the only real control we have is self control, and if that's true, that makes it especially important not to lose it.

A Well-Balanced Day

A few years ago, I had what may have been my best-balanced day ever. It had a near-perfect balance of mental, physical, and spiritual work, rest, and recreation. In fact, I was so impressed with that day that I actually took notes on how I managed to have such a well-balanced day. 

Today, as it turns out, was similarly balanced. On the mental side, I worked a bit on an essay I need to turn in soon, and I also did a tiny amount of fun writing, just for myself. Physically, I enjoyed riding my bike to work, and I physically moved computers while at work. And while I didn't do much spiritually today, I feel like I can, just for today, replace that category with "socially." Socially, I worked through an interpersonal conflict that sprung up recently and actually arrived at a workable solution, and I also got to hang out a bit with a few friends after work. And, naturally, there were times when I wasn't using my body, my mind, or my social skills, and those parts of myself were able to rest.

Today was a well-balanced day for me, and I'm highly satisfied with how it ultimately turned out.

(Don't) Always Be Yourself

I'm currently wearing a shirt that says, "Always be yourself, unless you can be a dragon, then always be a dragon." As fun as that sentiment is, I actually disagree with it. Being yourself is generally good, if vague, advice, but it may not be good advice to apply at all times. Your self, as you are now, is not perfect. Your self requires change. We shouldn't always be our current selves; in fact, we should continually build toward our best possible future selves. Then, maybe, we can "always be" those.

Granted, I'm pretty sure I know what they meant, and I think I agree that people should generally be comfortable with their own actions, preferences, and personalities. Besides, no everyone needs an entire psychological overhaul. There are aspects of our current selves that should be preserved and cultivated. Yet, there are also other aspects of our current selves that should be altered or removed. We should be careful which aspects we cultivate and which ones we alter, but I think it's safe to say that we all have aspects of ourselves to work on, so no, we should not always be content to be our current selves.

Removing and Overcoming Smells

I recently bought something online, and, being frugal, I bought it used. When it arrived, it soon became obvious that the item's previous owner had been a smoker, and apparently, a fairly heavy one. So, over the past several days, I've been applying a few odor-removing techniques. I've put it in a small, airtight container with a bowl of baking soda, I've aired it out outside, and I've added a dryer sheet to the small container, so a good smell could help overpower the bad one.

And such it is with us and sin. We need to do all we can to remove sin from our lives. And yet, none of us is perfect. We will still have vices that stubbornly cling to us, no matter how hard we try to remove them. That's why it's also important to cultivate virtues, so our positive traits can overpower our negative ones.

When dealing with sin, it makes sense to be as thorough as possible. We should do all we can to remove the stain of sin, including, of course, asking Christ to help us remove them through the power of His Atonement, but we can't just leave it at that. We also need to do good deeds to help us make up for the bad we've done. Just as good smells can help overpower bad smells, so too can good acts and habits help us overcome bad acts and habits.

With both smells and acts, it's best to both decrease the bad and increase the good.

What Are We?

Last night, over dinner, I raised a peculiar subject of conversation. It is said that we have spirits, and it is said that we have bodies. In the context of both of those statements, what are "we"? It may be more accurate to say that are spirits who (currently) have bodies, but that seems incomplete. Would we really be ourselves without our bodies?

Perhaps we would, at least temporarily. When we die, our bodies and our spirits will be separated, and we (that is, our spirits) will go to the Spirit World to await resurrection. Yet, at the resurrection, we will gain bodies that we will get to keep. Our bodies will become permanent parts of us. What will we be then? If having a body is part of our eternal nature, wouldn't it be fair to say that being embodied is part of our identity now?

I think it's most accurate to say that we are souls, creatures that are a combination of spirit and body. That will remain true until we die, and become spirits, and are then resurrected to become angels and gods.

We have both spirits and bodies, and we are both spirits and bodies. We are a combination of the two. Taking away either would cause a fundamental change in our nature. Without our bodies, we would be different kinds of beings, and without our spirits, we would be dead. But together, we are unique creatures, composed of both body and spirit, who are deceptively simple, yet difficult to describe.

Too Tired for Talking

I'm a bit of an introvert. I find social situations draining, even with those I'm closest to. So tonight, after happily spending a good deal of time with my immediate family, I left the gathering and reclused myself into the quietest area of the house I could find. Granted, I have nothing against them. I enjoyed their company, and I'm glad that they continue to enjoy each other's company, even late into the night. I just hope they can forgive me for not having the energy to remain sociable.

Being a family means that we need to make compromises to accommodate each other. We need to respect each others' desires and boundaries, even if we can't always honor them. And perhaps most of all, we need to be patient with each other. I need to be patient with their desire to keep chatting, and they will hopefully be patient with my lack of desire to participate. If we can be patient with each other, respect each other, and do our best to accommodate each other, we can avoid much of the friction that might otherwise erode the cohesion that families are supposed to have.

I love my family, but I also love peace and quiet. I'm usually happy to spend time with my family. But right now, I hope they can forgive me for preferring to go to bed.

A Practically Perfect Score

I took an exam today. I studied for the exam for three hours straight, in addition to having already read those sections of the textbook for quizzes and other assignments, and I spent a full hour taking the exam. There were fifty questions, and I only missed five, but as soon as I saw how many questions I missed, I was immediately disappointed in myself. I had hoped to do much better than that. I was mentally prepared to miss one question, or maybe two or three. But five? That was too many. I'm a better student than that. I studied too long to get a grade that low. 

But that's the thing, isn't it? My grade was fine. My grade on that exam was practically perfect. forty-five correct answers out of fifty questions is ninety percent. That's an A. That's barely an A, but it's an A, and it's the same A I would have gotten if my score had actually been perfect.

In life, our ultimate goal is perfection. We are trying to be/become like our perfect Father in Heaven. But we fall short. We fall painfully, hopelessly short. We are not perfect; we're far from perfect. Yet, despite how far we fall short of perfection, it may not ultimately matter. So long as we're good enough, so long as we're as good as we know how to be and are capable of being, God will make up the difference and assign us a passing, perfect grade.

Our imperfections don't ultimately matter. Those five questions I missed won't ultimately matter. God will bless our efforts, and us, even if we got a few, or even several, things wrong. So long as we are good enough, or at least trying to be, we'll make it to the Celestial Kingdom, the same Celestial Kingdom that Christ Himself dwells in.

We're not perfect. We don't have to be. So long as we are good and are trying to become better, that's good enough for an A grade, the same grade we've have gotten had we actually managed to be perfect.

So, I'm not perfect, but I'm going to be, and when I am, it won't matter that I got a few questions wrong along the way.

Optional Additional Rules

So, I've been thinking about the additional optional rules some people follow when they play video games, and I've thought about how it's similar to a person holding themselves to a higher standard. Some people in real life follow rules that exist above and beyond the standard rules of society, Christianity, or Mormonism specifically. For example, we know that coffee and tea are against the Word of Wisdom, but some people take that concept a step further by abstaining from all caffeinated beverages.

And frankly, I'm not sure what to think about this. In theory, higher standards are better, and the highest are the best, but if those "high standards" include rules against doing things that aren't actually wrong, is it really better to live by them? There's nothing wrong with drinking caffeinated beverages. It's okay to drink sodas with caffeine in them. A person is not morally superior for avoiding caffeine any more than a person is morally superior for drinking it. Then again, there's nothing wrong with avoiding caffeine, either. And hey, just in case there is anything slightly not okay about drinking caffeine, it might make sense to avoid caffeine, just in case.

But the same logic might apply to any number of activities. The Word of Wisdom allows the consumption of meat, but some people choose to be vegetarian or vegan anyway. There's nothing in the Bible about wearing socks and sandals together or putting pineapple on pizza, but there are many people who, regardless, believe that it's wrong to do so. And it's probably not a sin to wear white after Labor Day, but why take the risk? People can invent any number of additional rules to live by, thus holding themselves to a "higher standard," but they're not necessarily any more moral for doing so.

So, what do I make of these optional additional rules? Personally, I think that they're just another way to live and that no one is any better or worse for following or breaking such rules. Strictly speaking, some of those rules might have some moral weight, like the rule against jaywalking, but they're almost certainly not important enough to warrant worrying about them. If people choose to hold themselves to "higher standards," good for them. If others choose not to, that's fine, too. There are some rules that everyone ought to live by, but beyond those, there are many "rules" that are actually just optional.

Take them or leave them. Live and let live. And make it voluntary. If people choose to live by such rules, cool. If not, that's also cool. Unless there actually is a moral component to the additional rules, I'm not certain God would care to enforce them. And if He doesn't care about something, I'm not going to worry about it, either. The optional additional rules are just that, optional; I doubt it actually matters whether we choose to follow them or not.

Different Ways to Play

I've learned that it's possible to adjust the difficulty of games through the inclusion or omission of rules. Some games are too easy, so players make up their own additional rules they have to abide by, to make the game more of a challenge. At other times, some games are too difficult, so players allow themselves to use certain cheats and exploits to make the game easier for themselves. Neither way is "wrong." Sure, playing the game either way may not be in keeping with the developers' intentions, but as long as the game is fun and satisfying for the player, that's all that really matters.

There are many ways to live life. Some people rise to greater challenges than others, and some people make more use of their abilities than others. Personally, I try not to judge those who follow more, fewer, or different rules than I do. We each have the ability to choose how we, personally, want to play the game of life, and we each have the responsibility not to judge those who choose to play differently than we do.

Progress Is Being Made

One of the downsides of going through a personal issue is that I'm getting several insights that I can't share because they relate to a problem that's too personal to talk about. Suffice it to say that I am learning and developing, spiritually, and while I'm not in a great place now, I'm on my way to a better place than I have ever been in. Progress is being made. For the first time in what has felt like forever, progress is being made. And I am both dreading and looking forward to sharing that progress with all of you, once I'm ready to. Just know that I am getting closer to finding true happiness and to finally feeling inner peace, and it feels great to finally be making progress.

Political Similarities

As I watched the State of the Union address this evening, one thing that struck me was how many of the current president's priorities matched very closely the priorities of the previous president. Both presidents talked about how the nation isn't doing so well in some respects anymore, and we should be doing better. Both presidents spoke of the need to improve the economy and create more jobs for our nation instead of outsourcing. Both presidents discussed the need to secure our borders and better regular immigration. And both presidents had some harsh words to say against our nation's enemies and potential enemies. Despite their political differences and the strong support for one and antagonism for the other, they had far more political similarities than I would have imagined.

I suppose it just goes to show that maybe people aren't as different as they seem. Maybe we have more common ground than we realize, once we learn to look past the few actual differences. We're all human. We're all trying to get by. The vast majority of us are trying to do what we believe is right. And most of us agree on many of the same basic principles of morality. While people disagree on some specific political issues, there are a number of matters on which we can agree. The more we focus on our common goals, the more progress we can make toward them.

While there are still important differences and important discussions to be had, I think there is a certain amount of wisdom to finding and focusing on the common threads between us, especially since there may be more of them than we imagined.