Facing Challenges "Alone"

Challenges are challenging, especially when we have to face them alone. I know someone who's going through some challenges without the availability of help, and I feel bad for them and wish there was something I could do to help them. Challenges are almost always harder to overcome alone, and they're almost always easier to face with help.

I suppose that's one of the comforting things about the Gospel. We always have access to divine help. We can sometimes gain divine assistance, and at the very least, we can always have the comforting companionship of the Holy Spirit. Even without divine aid, having the Holy Ghost with us can give us the strength to face our challenges with the knowledge that we're not actually alone, even when we seem to be.

We all have to face challenges. Sometimes, we can get help, and sometimes, we can't. Facing challenges alone is harder, but fortunately, through the blessing of the Spirit, we never have to truly face our challenges alone.

Once We've Done All We Can

I'm running into an atypical issue with my classes. Namely, I've progressed about as far as I can. I've studied for a quiz that I can't take until Friday. I've studied for another quiz that's due next week and doesn't unlock until tomorrow. And I can't even start on my next writing assignment until I get the prompt tomorrow morning. At this moment, I have done as much homework as I can do. Sure, theoretically, I could read and study ahead, but that would only put me even further ahead of schedule and prepare me for quizzes that I can't take until even later. No, for now, the best thing I can do is focus on my other tasks.

There are or will be times when we've done as much as we reasonable can, and it's not feasible, and sometimes not possible, to do any more. Sometimes, our progress will be slowed or delayed by forces beyond our control. At those times, once we've done everything we can do, there is often nothing left to do but make peace with the fact that we've done all we can. Granted, this is only likely to come up in certain contexts. There's almost always something we can do, even if there's nothing we can do to advance a certain project. For example, when I finished my homework, I could have blogged then instead of putting it off until right now. When we make as much progress as we can in one area, we can usually pass the time by trying to make progress in another.

But still, there are times when all we can do is be patient. It stinks, but sometimes, there's nothing we can do but wait. At those times, we can hopefully rest, confident that we've done as much as we could, so we can wait calmly and patiently instead of anxiously and fretfully. Once we've done all we can, there really is nothing more we can do but rest, stay patient, work on other things if possible, and wait.

Agency and Direction

Earlier today, I wrote about the conflict between individual liberty and authoritarian control. To put a more spiritual spin on it, we could relate it to the conflict between moral agency and divine direction. God gives us commandments and exercises divine justice on those who break His commandments, but He also gives us the space to make our own decisions. There are even times when God withholds guidance from us because we don't always need it. In fact, we may sometimes need to not have it. Sometimes, we just need to make our own decisions and learn life lessons for ourselves. Sure, we can always pray for divine direction, but sometimes it is better not to receive such direction and to learn to make decisions without it. There is a conflict between individual agency and divine authority, and the question if which is more important depends on too many factors to count. Suffice it to say that sometimes, we need to rely on God's guidance, and sometimes, we need to learn how to get by without it.

Passion is Contagious

On YouTube, I recently discovered a series of videos made by a biologist who is incredibly enthusiastic about his job. I loved watching his videos because I admired his passion. It was contagious, even. Watching his videos, I could hardly help getting excited about Boo Fish, how cyanobacteria (and other oxygen-producers) caused the first mass extinction event, and the discovery of the world's smallest species of snail. He made biology sound awesome. Maybe we should do something similar.

Our Elder's Quorum Meeting was about missionary work, and it was boring. There was no passion about the Gospel, no excitement about modern revelation, no enthusiasm about the restoration of the Priesthood, no joy about the companionship of the Holy Spirit. There are countless world-shattering truths in this church, and we aren't excited about any of them.

Perhaps we're desensitized to them. Perhaps we don't recognize how life-changing these truths are or ought to be. Perhaps we get so bogged down in daily and weekly church service that we have little energy left to get excited about anything, even the most noteworthy event of the millennia, the Restoration of the Gospel of Jesus Christ. But we need to get this excitement back. If we're not excited about the good news of the Restoration, our prospective converts won't be, either.

Passion is, generally, contagious. If we want to help spread the gospel, it might help to remind ourselves why we, and everyone, should be so excited about it.

Why I'm Studying Political Ideologies

I'm currently taking a Political Science class about political ideologies. The reason I'm taking this class is that I'm interested in learning about other people's perspectives (or at least learning one perspective of other people's perspectives). I want to learn about other people, including why they think what they think, and grow in empathy.

One thing I've learned in my few thirty-some years of life is that people aren't actually all that different. We're all human. We all have many traits in common with most other human people. Yet, we also all have differences. Each person, and each group of people, is unique. I want to learn about other people so I can grow in my understanding of our common ground and gain a greater appreciation for our differences. Basically, I'm starting to study political ideologies because I want to learn more about the people who subscribe to them.

I think that empathy is a very important virtue. We need to be able to connect with each other, so we as individuals and as a society can become better, more wise, more caring, and more kind. I don't want to belittle those whose beliefs differ from mine. I want to understand them so I can appreciate that which is good about their perspective and also share my perspective with them in a way that'll make sense to them.

I, personally, am fairly comfortable in my beliefs, political and otherwise. I'm not shopping around. What I am doing is trying to understand why others hold beliefs that I disagree with, nit just so I can understand their ideas, but so I can understand them. I want to gain more empathy, and I trust that I can do that by learning more about others and their ideologies.

Consistent (Not Early) Progress

Even though most of my classes this semester are online and asynchronous, that doesn't mean that the have the kind of flexibility I've come to expect from online classes. I typically like to do homework early in the week. If an assignment is due on Wednesday or Friday, I try to get it done by Monday or Tuesday. However, that's not an option this time around. This time, my assignments don't become available, in many cases, until the day before they're due. I can read ahead and study ahead, but I can't get the work done until the day before it's due. Instead of a seven-day window, wherein I can do that week's homework at any time that week, I have a two-day window, wherein I have to do the homework either one day or the next day, or I'm out of luck. Essentially, instead of being able to work early, like previous semesters, I now need to work regularly instead.

And frankly, we've always had to do that. There are plenty of tasks that we have to do on the day we have to do them, and starting early isn't an option. Sure, I can make a backlog of Blog Posts, writing ahead of schedule, but that doesn't change the fact that, ideally, spiritual growth happens day by day. We can't front-load our eternal salvation. We need to work at it consistently, growing little by little, like a plant. If you give a plant a year's supply of rain and a year's supply of sunlight, all in one day, that plant will almost certainly die. Similarly, we too physically cannot accomplish all the spiritual growth of our lifetimes in one sitting. We need to work at it consistently and make our spiritual progress over time.

I'm not looking forward to having to spread my homework across the week and only do it the day before it's due. That seems stressful to me. Yet, that's what has to be done, because this semester, like life, requires us to work consistently rather than early.

Willing to Admit Fallibility

Recently, I had a troubling disagreement, and I was deeply bothered by it, until I acknowledged that I might have been the one who was in the wrong. Nobody is infallible, and while it can be alarming how wrong the people close to us seem to be, it's also sobering to recognize that we could be just as wrong. Few people knowingly hold wrong beliefs or opinions, and yet, everyone is wrong about something. We should be humble and not judgmental when we have a disagreement with someone. We all have the potential to learn from each other, but we ourselves will hardly learn anything if we go through life with the assumption that we are right and that those who disagree with us are wrong. For all we know, we could be the wrong ones.

Thus, we should be willing to listen to others and learn from them, just as we hope they might learn from us. If we are all humble enough to admit that we may be wrong bout some things, we can all listen to and learn from each other, and we will all become wiser and less wrong as a result.

It's funny, but sometimes, in order to learn what's right, we need to be willing to admit we may be wrong.

Bad at Blogging

I've been having trouble thinking of what to blog about. There's a lot in Psalms, but I'm not sure I'm really getting any of it, apart from the Psalmists repeatedly praising God. I haven't noticed much in my daily life that's worth blogging about. And sure, I've had a few blogworthy conversations lately, but I'm not sure what to say about them. It also doesn't help that I'm tired.

I'm sorry I'm not a better blogger. I'm sorry that I sometimes disappoint those who choose to read this blog. I'll try to do better next time.

Overdoing It

I have enrolled in a Fitness class, and I may be overdoing it. On my first day, I worked longer than I should have, trying to familiarize myself with the workout machines and routine. On my second day, I worked out less, but I tried to go faster. And I was doing this while carrying a heavier-than-normal backpack and still biking to school and biking partway back. Many of my muscles are sore. My body is extremely tired, and my brain is terribly tired as well. I know that I'm growing stronger and more capable, but I think I need to be careful to not do too much too soon. I'm not stronger yet. For now, I need to work within my limits.

There's probably a spiritual analogy in there. Something about growing line upon line, or maybe that it's not requisite for a man to run faster than he has strength. The whole point of this church is progress, but progress is a process, and at any given moment, we can each only do so much more than we are already doing. We are going to become omnipotent gods, but for now, we're only human. We can only do so much. We can only progress so quickly. And if we try to force ourselves to go fast than we can, it's not going to go well for us.

I'm grateful for the progress I'm making, physically and spiritually, but it may be wise for me to stop overdoing it and try to progress at a more reasonable rate.

"His Mercy Endureth For Ever"

For our family scripture study tonight, we read Psalm 118 (and other chapters), which frequently repeats the phrase, "His mercy endureth for ever" (Psalm 118:1-4, 29). This is a marvelous truth. Personally, I'm very grateful that His mercy endures, because I've needed it to. I'm sure we all have. It is such a comfort to know that God's mercy extends to everyone forever, no matter how many missteps a person makes.

I am grateful to God for His infinite and enduring mercy. I'm not sure where any of us would be (or go) without it.

Worry - A Waste and/or Misuse of Imagination

Very recently, I was made aware of a quote from Walt Disney: "Worry is a waste of imagination." Now, he may have been paraphrasing Dan Zadra, who said that "Worry is a misuse of imagination," or maybe Dan Zadra was paraphrasing Disney, but regardless of who said it first, I think there's some truth to it.

Worrying doesn't accomplish much. Sure, some anticipation of potential problems can be helpful in planning, but once you've done about as much planning as is practical, any additional worrying is just a nonproductive expense of mental energy. Walt Disney also said, "If you've done the very best you can, worrying won't make it any better."

We have better ways to spend our mental energy than by imagining unpleasant scenarios. We can instead imagine encouraging outcomes, which can inspire us to put in the effort to make them real. The mental images we create can become self-fulfilling prophecies, for better or for worse, so why fill our minds with mental images we don't want to see made real? Worrying like that is a waste and a misuse of our imaginations, especially when we could be visualizing success instead.

Waking to Inspiration

Wizards of the Coast, the company that owns the rights to create material for D&D, recently released new playtest rules that are being tried out for an upcoming official rules revision. Most of these new rules involve character creation, including new traits for many common races, including Humans. One of the new traits that humans get essentially means that they start the day with Inspiration, and I think that, while this has interesting implications for the upcoming new edition, it is nonetheless a good way to live.

It's good to have a morning routine, a set of actions you perform when you wake up, and I think it's a good idea to make sure your morning routine includes doing something that'll inspire you. A typical way to gain inspiration is to read some scriptures, which we should do daily anyway, but really, any way to invite the Spirit would work. Doing something to attract the Spirit in the morning, be it with scriptures, a hymn, some General Conference quotes, or any other uplifting practice, would be a great way to get the day off to a good start.

I'm not sure what I'll do to add inspiration to my morning routine, but gaining and enjoying the presence of the Spirit seems like a great way to start the day.

Restoring Relationships

I've been playing a game that is all about restoring relationships. The main character proves that he will stop at nothing to be reunited with his birth mother, even if he has to defy his birth father, with whom he lives, to do so. Then, once he has reconnected with his birth mother, he works toward mending the rift between the two sides of his family, even managing to repair the bond between himself and his father. Along the way, he helps many other people with their relationships, reuniting two sets of separated lovers, helping his adoptive mother reunite with her parent, and even developing a relationship with someone close to him. It's been a wonderfully wholesome experience, playing the role of someone who is repairing so many relationship and bringing love back into the lives of so many people.

I'm grateful that my family isn't as broken as theirs is, but if a rift ever does form in my family, I hope that I will prove just as tenacious in doing what I can to restore as many familial bonds as I can. There was a time when my family's relationship was strained, and I wasn't there to help fix it, but I hope I'll be one of the people trying to help fix the situation next time.

It's important for people to form, strengthen, and repair their loving relationships. I hope that we will all be the kinds of people who try to strengthen the bonds of love between as many people as possible, rather than trying to break them. Love is a wonderful thing. I hope that we will all try to form and strengthen the bonds of love, and, when necessary, to restore them.

A Good Argument

I recently had an argument. Thankfully, both I and the person I was talking to were able to talk about the argument calmly, present arguments and counterarguments, submit examples, and even concede to some of each other's points. The argument hasn't fully been resolved, but it went much smoother than most arguments typically do, mostly because both parties were willing to attempt to set their emotions aside and discuss the disagreement logically. Frankly, it was one of the best arguments I've ever had. I still wish it hadn't happened, and I wish the conversation had gone more smoothly, but as far as arguments go, this one was really good.

Self-Evaluation

Sometimes, I have a hard time deciding what to write here. I could write about myself, but what should I write? I don't want to just write about my shortcomings. Though there are many lessons I could stand to learn, I don't want to be negative about myself all the time. At the same time, I also don't want to blog too much, if at all, about what I'm doing well. I don't want to brag or put myself on a pedestal. There has to be some middle ground, where I can honestly evaluate myself, both my strengths and my weaknesses, and describe myself dispassionately, neither bragging nor belittling myself.

Nobody is perfect, but everybody has good in them. Everybody has strengths to admire and weaknesses to overcome. So, when I blog about myself, I should probably blog about both.

God - "The Omnipotent Dungeon Master"

I have a shirt that identifies me as "The Omnipotent Dungeon Master - Welcome to my Table. Roll for Initiative." I got this shirt for my birthday, and I wear it because it's comfy and I like the color. Yet, it's a bit ironic for me to wear this shirt, given my thoughts on the omnipotence of God.

In D&D, the Dungeon Master (DM) controls almost everything. They control the world and everyone in it, except for the players' characters. But there are two things that can't control: the player characters and the dice. The players almost always directly control their characters, and the dice land however they please.

But even so, the Dungeon Master can exert some influence. There are spells that DM-controlled characters could cast that would dominate player-controlled characters, at least temporarily, if the player rolls low enough on their attempt to resist the mind control, putting that characters fate in the hands of the dice. And the DM can exert control over the dice as well. The DM can add modifiers to the roll and can set the target number as high or as low as it needs to be to make the die roll no longer matter. If the DM wanted to exert control over literally everything in the world they describe, they could. The Dungeon Master can be Omnipotent.

However, the DM's control only extends as far as the edge of the table. Outside of the game world, the DM has only as much power as anyone else.

This may be a shockingly good analogy for God. God is practically omnipotent. He created the world we live in and retains a great deal of control over it. He doesn't control people, at least not directly, but He controls the forces of nature, and He can tweak them however He chooses. Similar to the DM, God does not control the "player-controlled characters." That's us. We have our agency, and within certain physical limitations, we can do whatever we want, regardless of what God wants. There is also "the dice." In this case, I'd say that the dice are the laws of nature, like the forces of gravity and electromagnetism, the speed of light, and the laws of motion. God doesn't often break those laws.

But the fact remains that He could. God can tweak the laws of nature, if and when He has to, and He can use the laws of nature and His own great power to do things that seem impossible, or perhaps more accurately, miraculous. And I have no doubts that God could exert mind control over every living creature on Earth, if He so chose. God could exert power and control over literally everything in the world.

Yet, there may still be some things outside of God's control. In D&C 93:29, Christ Himself says that "Intelligence, or the light of truth, was not created or made, neither indeed can be," so God cannot create intelligence. And in Alma 42, Alma (the Younger, I think) tells his son that mercy cannot rob justice and the works of justice cannot be destroyed, "If so, God would cease to be God" (Alma 42:25), so God cannot remain God after mercy has robbed justice or the works of justice have been destroyed. Yet, Mosiah reminds us that God has "all power, both in heaven and in earth" (Mosiah 4:9). Perhaps earth and heaven are God's "Game World" and "Table." God controls, or can control, everything in heaven and on earth, but perhaps not everything beyond them. Perhaps, while God controls everything in this sphere, there are spheres outside of His control.

This actually makes sense when we consider the profound truth revealed to Lorenzo Snow and confirmed by Joseph Smith: “As man now is, God once was:” and “As God now is, man may be” (Ensign, February 1982). If God was once like us, a mortal on a planet like Earth, He must have had a God who created Him and that Earth. That God (our Heavenly Grandfather, if you will) would have had a sphere of influence beyond that of God, our Heavenly Father. And, assuming that God, our Heavenly Father, will not become powerless as soon as we, ourselves, ascend to Godhood, it stands to reason that God, our Heavenly Grandfather, still has power as well. I expect that our Heavenly Grandfather still has authority over our Heavenly Father, even as or Heavenly Father will still have authority over us, even when we have spirit children of our own. Each God has ultimate authority in their own sphere, subject only to the God(s) in whose sphere their sphere resides, yet they have little (if any) power beyond their sphere.

Long explanation short, God is functionally omnipotent, as far as earth and heaven need to be concerned. There are powers beyond the scope of heaven, like the eternal law of justice, but we probably don't need to worry about that. As far as anyone on earth needs to know, God is practically omnipotent, just as a DM is practically omnipotent at a D&D table. There are things outside that realm that He can't control, and there are things within that realm that He chooses not to control, but for most intents and purposes, He is basically Omnipotent.

Communicating Thoughts and Feelings

Sometimes, I have to remind myself that people can't hear each other's thoughts. We don't always know what other people are thinking, and they don't always know what we're thinking.That's part of why communication is so crucial. We can really know what others are thinking unless they tell us. The same thing goes for emotions, to a lesser degree. We can see signs of how a person feels, but those signs aren't always accurate, and we don't always read them correctly. If we really want to know what a person thinks or how a person feels, we should ask. And if we want other people to know what we think or how we feel, we should tell them.

It's not always enough to read others' body language, and it's seldom wise to expect them to read yours. If we really want to communicate our thoughts and feelings, we should do so verbally. If we want to know, we should ask. If we want others to know, we should tell. Appearances and assumptions aren't enough.

The Preacher in the Flood - Miracles Through Mortals

In Sacrament Meeting today, I heard the story of a preacher who got caught in a flood and prayed for deliverance. When the water rose to the preacher's porch, a neighbor paddled over in a canoe and told the preacher it was time to go, but the preacher chose to say, trusting that God would save him. Yet, the water rose, and when the water reached the preacher's balcony, a neighbor in a motorboat came by and told the preacher that it was time to go, but the preacher again chose to stay, trusting that God would save him. Yet, the water kept rising, and when the water reached the preacher's roof, a helicopter came by and lowered a ladder to him, telling him that this was his last chance, and he really had to go. But the preacher again chose to stay, trusting that God would save him. Ultimately, the flood completely consumer the preacher's house and the preacher, and when the preacher reached heaven, he asked God why He didn't save him, and God asked him, "What did you want from me? I sent you two boats and a helicopter." Also, I think it would add to the story if the preacher had an inflatable raft tucked away, unused, in his garage.

We all experience times of trouble, and we naturally ask God to help us, yet the help that God sends our way usually comes through other people or through the blessings God has already given us. Sure, God could save us miraculously, but he usually expects us to save ourselves and each other. God has blessed us with the abilities to help ourselves and each other, and we need to use those abilities (and accept help from others using those abilities) in order to do His work. Granted, if the canoe had a leak in it, I maybe wouldn't trust it with my life, but barring inability, we're generally expected to do what we can and to accept help from those who can help us.

I sometimes think that, in addition to being an actual, eternal being, God is also a motivating idea, like Karma or Santa Claus, that motivates people to do good for themselves and others and to appreciate the good in the world. If we all try to help ourselves and each other, God can work miracles in our lives and in the lives of others, all through the acts of mortals like us.

So, when we get help from others and/or have the ability to do what we need to do for ourselves without help, we should thank God for our friends and our own abilities. And when we ask for help from God, we shouldn't be too surprised if that help come from inside us or from our friends. Sure, God can work miracles directly, but it's even more of a blessing that God often works His miracles through people like us.

A Good Work-Rest Balance

I need to find a good work-rest balance. Such a balance could be incredibly helpful to me, especially if I can make it a sustainably repeating pattern. Case in point, I worked myself pretty hard this morning, first with cleaning the church building and then with taking some stuff to the dump for my friend's grandma. I even did some work helping take care of my sister when I got home. By early afternoon, I was exhausted, and I spent the rest of the day accomplishing very little.

That wasn't efficient. Had I paced myself, taken shorter, more frequent rests, and forced myself to return to work when I was sufficiently rested, I probably could've gotten more done today, and I would have felt better about doing it. I guess what I need to do is figure out what I'm capable of, to find out what I can do, to not push myself beyond that limit, but also to not let myself fall too far short of my potential.

It's a difficult balance to strike, it's different for each person, and it changes as our capabilities and endurance levels change. Still, it'd be helpful to let me use my energy more efficiently, rather than burning it up too quickly and/or letting it go to waste. It'll take conscious effort at first, but finding a good work-rest balance could be really good for me.

Rest

I was terribly, deliriously tired an hour ago, but I feel better now that I've taken a short rest. People need rest. We can't work constantly, or we'll burn ourselves out. Rest is essential for maintaining our physical and mental health. Rest also helps us regain the energy we need to work more effectively. In fact, I plan on taking a nice, long rest right after this, so I'll have the strength I need for the work I'll do tomorrow.

Rest is important. Even God rested (despite not needing to) and instituted a weekly day of rest because He knew how important rest is, and He knew how important it was to teach us how important it is. We need rest.

So, when you're tired, rest. Your mind and body need it, and it will actually help you make better use of the rest of your time. I rested before blogging, and I think it helped me, and I trust that the rest I'll get soon will help me with the work I'm going to do tomorrow. It's true that you can't work while resting, but you also work have the energy to work if you never rest.

I have work to do tomorrow, but if I'm going to do that work well, I first need to rest.

The Point of the Mountain

I just saw a Facebook post of a quote from Brianna Wiest:

"One day, the mountain that is in front of you will be so far behind you, it will barely be visible in the distance. But the person you become in learning to get over it? That will stay with you forever. And that is the point of the mountain."

We all face challenges and obstacles in life, nigh-insurmountable mountains blocking our path. Yet, we will overcome them. And in so doing, we will gain strength that we could not have gained without them. We need those mountains to strengthen us. That's why God put them in our path and insists that we climb up and over them. Even when these mountains are long behind us, we will still have the strength we gained from overcoming them.

God gave me a mountain to climb, and I've gained a lot from climbing it. It hasn't been an easy hike, but I think that this climb will ultimately be worth the effort. I look forward to the day when I can look back at this mountain far behind me, still carrying the strength I gained from climbing it. That is the point of the mountain, and by the time this is all over, I will have become a better man for climbing it than I would have been without it.

What Knowledge and Wisdom I Had

Today, I made a decision that I later regretted. At the time, it seemed like a prudent move. With the information I had at the time, I made the decision that I thought was best. When new information came to light, I wished I had chosen differently. Still, perhaps it's a bit strong to say that I regret the decision I made. Sure, I now wish things had turned out differently, but I made the best decision I could with what knowledge and wisdom I had, and I don't regret doing that. Frankly, that's the best any of us can hope to do.

We are all finite beings. We are not all-knowing, and we are not all-wise. At any given moment, all we have to work with is the knowledge and wisdom we have at the time. Naturally, we can always obtain more knowledge and wisdom, but that's a double-edge sword. As our increased knowledge and wisdom helps us make better decisions, it also helps us judge the decisions we should or should not have made. We should try not to be too hard on our former selves for their lack of knowledge and wisdom. We're all doing the best we can with what we have. Our past decisions may not be the best ones we could have made, but they were often the best decisions we could think of making at the time.

And thankfully, we don't have to rely solely on our own knowledge and wisdom. We can ask people who have more knowledge and wisdom than we do for help with considering our options. Yet, finding those who have lots of knowledge and wisdom and identifying them as being knowledgeable and wise is itself a judgement call that we need to make with our limited knowledge and wisdom. Foolish people are often tricked into trusting the "wisdom" of foolish and/or false guides. Therefore, we must be prudent with regards of whose wisdom we consider, but that prudence is based on our own knowledge and wisdom, leading, again, to potentially regrettable decisions.

In the end, we only have so much knowledge and wisdom to work with, and we only have so much time to make decisions. At a certain point, we have to make the best decision we can, perhaps including decisions about whose information and wisdom to trust, using whatever knowledge and wisdom we have at the time. Sometimes, we just have to do our best and hope for the best. Earlier today, I made the decision that I, at the time, thought was best. Unfortunately, that didn't work out well this time, but that just means that I need to keep trying to increase my knowledge and wisdom (perhaps including my knowledge and wisdom of guides worth heeding) and gradually make wiser and better-informed decisions. In the meantime, I'm just going to do the best I can with what knowledge and wisdom I have and not fault my past self too badly for having done the same.

Communication for Connection

I recently talked to a friend about one of their relationships with someone they're close to. Essentially, the relationship is in trouble, and my friend is having some difficulty even talking about it. Yet, communication, from both sides, is essential for developing and maintaining relationships. If we want to develop new relationships and maintain the relationships we have, we need to be willing to talk to each other, even about difficult subjects, and to listen without judgement. We need to be willing to apologize when we need to apologize and to accept apologies when we feel that we are owed apologies. We need to be willing to communicate.

Of course, our willingness to communicate may not be enough. Relationships go both ways. If either person is willing to communicate and the other isn't, the relationship will be difficult, if not impossible, to maintain. And if neither person is willing to communicate, it's difficult to argue that they even still have a relationship. There has to be communication in order to maintain a connection.

I hope that my friend can help restore their relationship with the person close to them, but even if they can't, I hope we all can learn how to maintain our relationships with others, which I believe is accomplished mostly by being willing to communicate and to encourage others to communicate freely as well.

Slow Progress

Not only is progress sometimes counter-intuitive, it is sometimes also painfully slow. When we look at where we are and where we would like to be and how long it is taking us to get there, it's easy to feel frustrated. However, that frustration doesn't help anybody. In fact, such frustration usually only makes improvement harder. Instead, we need to relax, breathe, and exercise the kind of diligence that is tempered with patience. Yes, progress is sometimes slow, but it's still progress, and when we have an eternity to make progress, we can make great progress at any rate. So, instead of getting frustrated at how little progress we're making, we should be patient and let those little amounts of progress add up over time. Sure, our progress may be much slower than we would like, but as long as we continue to make progress, we're going to be fine.

Break Down to Build Up

On my way to church this morning, I saw a construction project going on at a local high school. Specifically, they have removed the old bleachers around the football field and seem to be putting in new ones. However, at the moment, all they currently have are several holes in the ground where the old bleachers used to be.

Still, that's progress. Just looking at how it stands now, it seems like they've taken a huge step backward, having gone from old bleachers to no bleachers. But that's just one necessary step in the process, from old bleachers to no bleachers to new bleachers. Sometimes, you have to break something down in order to build something else up.

There are things in all our lives that we can stand do without, if only because they're getting in the way of us getting something better. For instance, I like my current job. I'd be worse off without it. Yet, if I could get a better job by quitting my current one, then quitting my current job would be a painful but necessary step in the process of getting a better job, just as breaking down the old bleachers was a messy, but necessary step toward putting in new ones.

We should try not to be too afraid of making such temporarily detrimental progress. The whole "two steps forward, one step back" routine sometimes requires us to take the "one step backward" first. We shouldn't be too afraid of breaking down whatever stands in the way of us building something better up. It's a painful, messy, and temporarily detrimental part of the process, but it is sometimes a necessary one. Sometimes, in order to build something up, you have to break something down first.

Know Your Rope

My brother and I walked the dog today, and after we had been walking for a while, we thought we'd rest by sitting under the shade of the tree. To keep the dog secure, we tied the dog's leash, a long rope, around the base of the tree, making sure to pick a tree thin enough that the dog would have enough rope to move around. Naturally, being tethered to the tree would limit her movement, but if she used her movement intelligently, she'd have a decent radius of distance to work with.

Unfortunately for the dog, that's not what happened. She walked herself around the tree until her leash was so wrapped up, she had very little room to move. Had she been more intelligent and thought more carefully about the length of rope she had to work with and how she could use it, she could have maintained a great deal of freedom instead of wrapping her rope up unhelpfully.

We are all in a similar situation. We're all tied to something, figuratively speaking. Yet, the better we understand the ropes that bind us to one place, idea, or person, the better use we can make of the amount of space available to us. For example, I live in Sacramento and have limited travel options. Basically, I can bike, take Regional Transit, and occasionally ask people for rides. Still, that leaves me with a lot of area I can explore and a lot of great places I can reach. Sure, I can't get to the beach, for example, but I know spots along the river that are fairly beach-like, and I can pretty easily get there.

I also try to understand the limits of my understanding. I evaluate the information I come across, and I use the trustworthy information I've collected to try to draw reasonable conclusions, expanding my understanding. I also try not to tie myself to too many ideas that I know are wrong. Attending college as a Christian, I know that not everything I hear is true and good, so I have to take what I hear with a grain of salt and compare it to what I already know is true. The better I understand my beliefs, the better I can evaluate the beliefs and teachings of others.

All of us have constraints to work within, but the better we understand our constraints, the better we can work within them, giving us a great deal of freedom, even while we remain bound to the places, people, and ideas that matter most to us. Such bonds may sometimes feel restrictive, but they are much less so to those who know their ropes.

Love is the Answer

I just heard a song by Jack Johnson titled Better Together, and some of the lyrics include a somewhat profound thought:

        Love is the answer, at least to most of the questions in my heart,

        Like why are we here, and where do we go, and how come it's so hard?

Of course, there are many other questions that Love is the answer to, like what should we do, and what should we seek, what is most important? But there are other questions that are a little harder to answer.

I have a lot of questions, and I'd love for God to answer a few of them, but maybe the only answer I really need is Love. We are here to feel and express love for the people around us. When we die, we go to spend eternity with those we love. And in the meantime, life is hard because... well, okay, that one doesn't make as much sense to me. But still, knowing that God loves me makes the hardness of life a little bit more tolerable.

I'm grateful for the love that I have in my life and for the people who feel and express love for me, and I hope I express my love for them just as much. I don't have all the answers I want, but I have love, and that'll do for now.

Divine Justice Delayed Until Death

One terrible aspect of divine justice is that it doesn't take full effect until hereafter. People only receive there eternal rewards (and eternal punishments) after they die, leaving them with a lifetime of a life they don't deserve. The righteous suffer afflictions in mortality, despite being righteous, and the wicked enjoy blessings in mortality, despite being wicked. This undercuts the incentive we have to be righteous, since we know that we won't be rewarded for our good deeds until after our deaths. This also frustrates some of the guidance God could give us, since blessings aren't necessarily a sign of His approval, and afflictions aren't necessarily a sign of His disapproval. We could live a blessed or cursed life and still have no idea if we're living the way God wants us to live.

I sometimes wish that God's judgement was more tangible, more immediate, and easier to interpret. As it stands, God has few ways to communicate with us, and one of His strongest ways, through just feedback, seems to be sending mixed messages. I'm glad to know that, ultimately, everything will be made right through the power of the Atonement. I just kinda wish a more accurate reflection of God's justice in this life as well.

Should the Party and the Wererats Have Killed Each Other?

Resurrecting my long-dead series of "Should [D&D Character] (Have) Kill(ed) [D&D Monster]," I'd like to blog about senseless violence that lead to further senseless violence. Now that the violence is mostly over, I think I'd like to blog about how senseless it all really was.

It started with a completely unrelated conflict. One D&D character got on the bad side of an Assassin (long story), and the Assassin did a great deal of damage to that character. To regain some health, the character in question used a quarterstaff with a vampiric life-drain ability to hit a rat. I'm sure he intended to kill something whose life had little value, whereby to gain healing without causing much actual harm to the world. But this rat was actually a wererat, and he survived, and he remembered.

After the Assassin had been dealt with, the party, including the character who had unwittingly attacked a wererat, spotted several shady characters lurking in an alley nearby. These shady characters with the initial wererat and a handful of his friends, hoping to confront the character and "teach him a lesson," now that they had numbers on their side, outnumbering the party two to one. I forgot exactly how this conflict started, but it doesn't much matter. Both parties would have attacked the other if the other hadn't attacked first. I think the wererats technically made the first Attack Roll, unless you count Shoving as a kind of Attack, which it technically was. Either way, both sides acted aggressively, and both sides deserved to have their aggression stopped by the other, by force if necessary. This isn't the group of wererats whose lives I consider worth pondering.

The conflict continued as the surviving wererats went into full retreat and retreated straight into the wererat lair. The Party pursued them, perhaps (charitably) hoping to end the wererats' aggression once and for all. This led the party directly into the path of some wererats whose task it was to stand guard. This was a secret lair, and the wererats' policy was to ensure that anyone who discovered their secret took said secret to their graves. The wererat guards had a "Kill on Sight" policy regarding intruders. When the party intruded, the wererat guards were prepared to fight back.

This is the conflict I find morally interesting. "Kill on Sight" is rarely a justifiable policy. Initiating aggression is rarely a morally viable move. The wererats probably shouldn't have tried to kill the party on sight, and the party probably shouldn't have tried to kill the wererats on sight. In that regard, the morality of the conflict was a wash, with both sides being equally wrong.

What complicates matters was that the wererats live in their lair. This was a home invasion, and I believe that people have a moral right (if not a legal right) to defend their homes from intruders, perhaps with force, if necessary. Does this mean that the wererats had a moral right to defend their home by attacking the aggressive intruders? I think so. By the time these two sides (the adventuring party and the wererat guards) came into contact with each other, the adventuring party had been reported as being lethally violent and had been witnessed destroying wererat property in a threatening and violent matter. The wererats had every right to assume that the party was there to kill them all, and I judge that such an assumption would have been correct. The wererats had to respond in some way to the obvious, imminent, lethal threat.

Still, I suppose the wererat guards could have surrendered. I'm not sure if it's morally justifiable to require the victims of violent threats to surrender to those who pose such threats, but it would probably have precluded further violence, so it is at least an option to consider.Yet, once a person surrenders, they reduce their ability to fight back, making them more vulnerable to threats and attacks, perhaps inadvertently encouraging further threats and attacks against other people. Surrender is not generally a good plan, and while it was later found necessary for one of the few remaining wererats to surrender, and they weren't immediately killed, I don't fully know how I feel about requiring surrender, instead of counterattack, in cases of responding to violence.

The first D&D character probably shouldn't have attacked the rat the way he did, though that action seems mostly morally justified, given the knowledge he had. The first group of wererats definitely shouldn't have threatened the party. Neither side should have attacked the other first. The party probably shouldn't have pursued the retreating wererats, except perhaps with the intention to prevent further attacks. Neither the party nor the wererat guards should have had a "Kill on Sight" policy against the other, but it may be that true that the wererat guards had a right to to defend their home against invasion. And certainly, once an attack was made, a counterattack was all but guaranteed, placing both sides in moral (and mortal) jeopardy.

I don't think the party should have immediately attacked the wererat guards. I don't know if the wererat guards would have been justified in immediately attacking the party, though I currently think I think so. A lot of moral questions were asked and left unanswered tonight. But at least they were interesting questions, well worth pondering.

Breathe, Think, Do.

The other day, I was trying to do too many things at once, and I wasn't sure what to do next. I felt overwhelmed, dashing from one task to the next, leaving each task half-done because I felt that what I had to do next was too important to be made to wait. As I was getting myself all worked up about what I was doing and what I needed to do, I felt the need to take a moment to center myself. "Breathe, Think, Do,"I told myself. And it worked. Breathing helped me settle my emotions and clear my head, which helped me think about what really needed to happen next and to plan effectively, and then I was able to do my work efficiently and effectively without further stress.

I told myself then that I should remember that mantra for the future: "Breathe, Think, Do." It helped me relax, focus, and work effectively, and the next time I feel overwhelmed and stressed, I hope that it'll help me relax, focus, and work well again.

"Then Make One"

I recently saw a social media post comparing life to the greatest role-playing game, since we basically play whatever role we make for ourselves. In reply, someone said that they wanted a new character, and in response to that desire for a new character, someone else said "Then make one."

In the end, we can make ourselves, our "characters," more or less whatever we want them to be. Granted, there are things we can't change about ourselves or our circumstances, but we can change what kinds of people we are. If we're not satisfied with ourselves, we can change. In fact, we were meant to.

God does not intend for us to remain the way He made us. He intends for us to grow and become wiser and stronger as we gain experience. He expects us to "build character," and He gives us a great deal of freedom in which traits and attributes we focus on improving.

There are aspects I don't like about the character I have now. Fortunately, I know that I can build on that character and gradually change myself for the better. If I want a different character than the one I have now, and I really think I do, then I can make one.