God Forgives

For family scripture study tonight, my family just read the story of Jonah, or perhaps rather, the story of Nineveh. Jonah had been instructed to warn the people of Nineveh that destruction awaited them at a certain time if they didn't repent. But the people did repent and fasted, and they were spared. As the given time passed, destructionless, Jonah remarked on how merciful the Lord is, and there is some truth to that.

I don't believe that the Lord actually wants to destroy anyone. He isn't itching for any opportunity to punish people for stepping out of line. He is merciful. He is willing and eager to forgive. Though our actions caused Him suffering in the Garden of Gethsemane, His suffering is over, and He would rather forgive us than cause us to suffer, too.

I am grateful for the mercy of the Lord and for the example He has shown of extending forgiveness to others. We should be just as forgiving, if not even more so. "I, the Lord, will forgive whom I will forgive, but of you it is required to forgive all men" (D&C 64:10). And given how forgiving God often is, that's saying something. God wants to forgive, and so should we.

God is Seated

Right after Sacrament Meeting today, I saw a little girl standing in the doorway between the Chapel and the Foyer. She was crying for her mother, but her mother was seated nearby, on the couch in the foyer, calling to the little girl. There were no obstructions between the girl and her mother. The mother was in plain sight of the girl. The little girl wanted her mother, but all she had to do to be with her mother was to walk back to where her mother was sitting.

Naturally, when I saw this, I thought of God. We are all currently distant from God. We want Him in our lives, and we wish He would come to us, pick us up, and carry us back to where we can sit with Him. But God is seated. He isn't going to come down from heaven to pick up each of us individually. It's up to each of us to go to Him.

I don't quite recall which person moved first to reconnect the girl and her mother. I think it was the mother who went to her little girl, but I couldn't say for sure. But I can say that God doesn't seem to come down to His children as often as they ask Him to. Rather, He calls us to ascend to Him. Of course, He makes sure it's possible for us to come to Him, and He even sends us helpers to guide and support us on our way back to Him, but He Himself remains seated, so it's up to us to make our way back to Him so we can sit down beside Him.

Little Victories

There's a sign on the refrigerator in my home that says "Little Victories every day." I don't know if I accomplish victories "every day," but I suppose that depends on how "little" the victories can be and still count. I suppose anything important enough to get written down and checked off of a To Do list could count as a victory. In that sense, every task completed can be counted as a victory. Every load of laundry washed and folded, every stack of presents wrapped and cards signed, every email sent, every shower taken, ever blog post written, can count as a victory. In that sense, I achieve victories every day, whether I wrote the task down or not.

When we feel overwhelmed or discouraged, it may help to list our tasks for the day, both those we've already completed and those we have yet to do, to congratulate ourselves for whatever we've done so far, and to make a plan for what we're going to do next. Seeing the tasks we've completed will give us a bit of satisfaction, and seeing the next steps to be completed will give us an actionable plan for what to do next to secure further victories.

Achieving little victories can be encouraging, and it can be easier than we sometimes think. If we focus on taking it one step at a time, and we appreciate every positive step we take, we can achieve countless little victories, many of which will add up to bigger victories ahead.

Good Music

This evening, I went to an RSVP (Reconciliation Singers Voices of Peace) concert, and it was wonderful. Much of the music was peaceful and touching, and the few songs that weren't were rousing and fun. Several times, I felt the the choir sounded angelic. I highly recommend going to one of their concerts or getting one of their CDs. It is a privilege to hear them sing.

Tonight, they reminded me (in case I needed another reminder) that music itself is wonderful. Listening to music can be a spiritually uplifting experience. I should listen to such calming, peaceful music more often. There are times when I'm studying or commuting when I could also be listening to good music. I should take advantage of those opportunities more often.

Good music is good for the soul, and my soul could use more good music.

I Love Autumn

I love autumn. I love the cooler air, the scattered breeze and showers. I especially love the changing colors of the leaves. I live in Sacramento, the city of trees, and many of those trees are deciduous. I love that the trees' colors grow warmer as the air itself grows cooler. But even as the air cools, I can bundle up, maybe turn on a heater or light a fire in a fireplace, and drink hot chocolate.

Naturally, there are also the holidays. I'm not much of a fan of Halloween, but as soon as November starts, the ghoulish decorations start to get replaced with festive ones as everyone gets ready for Thanksgiving, and then Christmas.

I like the quiet, reflective moments I get to enjoy as I think about the people I love and the people who love me, and I feel grateful for everything in my life that led me to where I am now. Sure, my life isn't perfect, but autumn isn't about perfection; it's about change, and I feel like my life is changing for the better. It feels warmer in some ways, and perhaps cooler than others, but it's certainly more colorful, and I have ways I can brace for the cold. I'm not looking forward to the coming winter storms, but I'll manage. The seasons are changing, and though it isn't always pleasant, change can be good.

I love autumn. It's beautiful. It's colorful. And I'm prepared to brace for the cold.

Giving Myself Grace

This morning, I gave myself some much-needed rest. After being dismally tired last night, I turned off my alarm, slept in, took a shower, and skipped going to the gym today. Arguably, some of those choices aren't normally the healthiest, but today was not a normal day. Today was the day after an evening in which I was so soul-crushingly tired that I broke down sobbing on the floor. This was not normal, and it should not be normal. I desperately needed more rest than I was getting, so I gave myself more rest than normal.

And, as it turned out, the gym coach seemed to accept my decision. When I got to school later than normal, too late for a workout before work, he was understanding. He acknowledged that we all have off days and that it's okay for us to take breaks when we need them. Naturally, it helped that I was otherwise fairly diligent about attending the gym, having made it there almost every weekday (apart from Fridays) for the whole semester. I suppose it's easier to give myself grace (as the coach put it) when I didn't need that much of it.

I also acknowledge that I was lucky to have the option to give myself rest. Not everyone can just choose to take it easy on a given day without facing dire consequences. It's not always practical for us to give ourselves rest.

But we can give ourselves grace. We can appreciate that we are doing the best we can with the strength, energy, and wisdom we have, and we can forgive ourselves when we fall short. Of course, all the cliches apply. Nobody's perfect. Everyone falls short sometimes. Etc. We should each give ourselves as much grace, compassion, and understanding as we would give other people (and we should give other people more grace, compassion, and understanding than they deserve, or at least, I try to). I've apologized profusely to those who were affected by my failings, and they have forgiven me just as many times. I should forgive myself, too.

God is merciful. If we are to follow His example, we should be merciful, too, even with ourselves. God teaches us to give grace to those who need it, and everyone needs grace. We should, when necessary, give ourselves some grace, too.

Giving Myself Away

I'd rather not air my dirty laundry on my blog so often, but I have less than an hour to blog about something, and this is the only thing I can think of right now.

Don't spread yourself too thin. Don't give too much of yourself to too many people, or at the end of the day, you'll find that you have nothing left.

I help people. I help people for a living. I help people habitually. I help people because it's the right thing to do. But sometimes, I help too many people, and I run out of steam. I get overwhelmed and stressed and frustrated, and sometimes, I even get snappy.

I don't want to be like that. I don't want to get mad at the people I love. I don't want to not have enough energy left to spend time with the people I love. I don't want to end the day with so little energy left that I get upset with my own family.

So, I need to stop helping people so much. I need to save up my energy so I have some left for my family at the end of the day. I need to not spread myself too thin.

It takes energy to not be a jerk, and I don't have enough energy to not be a jerk to everyone. So, until such a day as I have infinite social energy, I need to save some of that energy for my family, which means I need to not spend all my energy helping people during the day.

There is only so much of me to go around. I need to be more careful about giving my limited time and energy away.