"Earning" Blessings

Sometimes, to help myself feel better about the various acts of service I am frequently called upon to do, I think about the blessings I am earning for doing so, and how I might invoke those blessings when asking God for favors. I picture it like little crystals. When I do something good, I earn a crystal. The more good I do and the harder it is to do so, the more crystals I earn and the larger those crystals are. Then, when I pray, I can spend those crystals to make it more likely that I'll get the blessings I prayed for.

Of course, I know that's not how this really works. We get blessings for being good people, not for doing good things, and the blessings always take the form of what we most need, no matter what we pray for or how many brownie points we spend asking for it. Still, it's nice to have a(n admittedly inaccurate) way to visualize the good that comes from doing good. It's motivating. And it feels nice to ask God for blessings with the confidence that I've kind of earned them, rather than merely asking for a favor that I have little way of paying back. This way, I can "earn" the blessings I want, even though I know that that's not really how any of this actually works.

I know that I don't actually "earn" blessings and that I can't really call in favors or anything like that, but still, it's a nice thing to pretend about, especially if it helps me stay motivated to keep being good and doing service.

Happiness

"Happiness is the object and design of our existence; and will be the end thereof, if we pursue the path that leads to it; and this path is virtue, uprightness, faithfulness, holiness, and keeping all the commandments of God." - Joseph Smith

I'm glad that the importance of happiness is one of our core beliefs. I'm grateful to know that we're allowed and even encouraged to be happy. A lot of religions are willing to sacrifice mortal happiness for the promise of future happiness, but I'm glad that we don't have to choose. We can have happiness in this life and the next, and I really appreciate that.

The path to happiness isn't always easy, but I'm glad that this happiness is available to those who are willing to seek it.

Attitude is Everything

As I've been reading about Stoicism and observing life in general, I'm coming to realize that one's attitude is everything. Our attitudes flavor our experiences by influencing how we interpret what happens and how we ultimately end up feeling about the situation.

Case in point, I recently played a board game with my family and I got frustrated because I was determined to accomplish a specific game objective, and my efforts kept getting frustrated. Now, I could have taken that situation is stride. It was just a game. It didn't matter. It might even seem funny to me once enough time has passed. Yet, in the moment, I allowed my emotions to be negatively affected by the outcome of the game. As my efforts were being frustrated, I allowed myself to become frustrated as well. 

Fortunately, the game ended before I did anything I would later regret, so I suppose this situation isn't worth worrying about, but it is still worth learning from. I came at the game with a certain attitude, including a strong desire to accomplish my game objectives, and that affected how I emotionally responded to how the game played out. Perhaps if I had had a more flexible, resilient, and frankly Stoic attitude, I could have responded to my misfortune with a greater level of grace. That's something I should work on, and I think it's a lesson many other people could stand to learn as well.

All of us occasionally face unfortunate circumstances, but our attitudes can help us determine whether those circumstances are ultimately good or bad, funny or frustrating, trivial or troublesome.

I came at a game with a less-than-positive attitude recently, and it was an unpleasant experience. I hope that I and others can learn from my mistake.

"He Had Not Respect"

So, there's a part of Genesis chapter 4 that really stuck with me when I read it last night.

5 But unto Cain and to his offering he had not respect. And Cain was very wroth, and his countenance fell.

6 And the Lord said unto Cain, Why art thou wroth? and why is thy countenance fallen?

7 If thou doest well, shalt thou not be accepted? and if thou doest not well, sin lieth at the door. And unto thee shall be his desire, and thou shalt rule over him.

This really bothered me. Without really getting into what exactly Cain offered God, the fact remains that Cain made God an offering, and God had no respect for it. Now, maybe Cain should have made a better offering, but this strikes me as the kind of situation where a child scribbles up a drawing out of crayon and the father, instead of taping it to a fridge like a normal parent, reviews the drawing like an art critic and tells the kid that his linework was shoddy. And I'm sitting here thinking "Of course the linework was bad. People are imperfect, the way you made them. At least Cain offered something. Respond with some positive reinforcement, and he might improve."

And maybe that's what God was trying to do when He said, effectively, "Yeah, this offering wasn't good enough, but if you give me an offering that is, I'll accept it," but that still leaves a bad taste in my mouth. How do we know how good is "good enough"? Are we supposed to keep making God better and better offerings, making greater and greater sacrifices, until God eventually rewards us with a pat on the head? I believe that even small steps in the right direction should be encouraged with proportionally small rewards rather than not getting any reward because they weren't good enough. And I kinda feel like, if Cain had been given that kind of encouragement, maybe he wouldn't have killed his brother out of jealousy.

Now, one argument is that God already gives us blessings aplenty and we are deep in the red in terms of what sorts of offerings and sacrifices we owe God. But that completely misses my point. We may, in fact, owe God all our belongings, service, and everything we can offer, but owing such a debt doesn't automatically instill in a person a motivation to pay it. If the purpose of mortality is to progress toward perfection, then God would do well to use every tool at His disposal, including positive reinforcement, to encourage any amount of progress, however small.

Granted, this entire rant of mine may be completely unfounded. No thanks to the imprecise nature of wording, especially wording that was written by someone in a different culture and run through a few rounds of translations, it's possible that many of the most important details of this story were changed or omitted. I hope that's the case. I hope God still rewards small efforts and doesn't criticize His children for their God-given imperfections. It just bothers me that such a charitable interpretation isn't well supported by the text.

It bothers me that God "had not respect" for Cain's offering, when it seems like it would have been better for God to appreciate the offering at least a little.

Interpretations and Applications

As we read the scriptures tonight, we found that they were so lacking in detail as to leave many key ideas and circumstances up to interpretation, but frankly, I think that suits me just fine. While it may be interesting to learn the exact details of what happened in these Bible stories, it's far more important to determine what lessons we can learn from these stories. It could be that Cain's offering of "the fruit of the ground" was rejected because it was a fruit sacrifice rather than an animal sacrifice, or it could have been rejected because the fruit was taken from off the ground and was therefore of lower quality. There are different lessons we could learn from either interpretation, which may be partly why it was left up to interpretation in the first place. Some people will come away from this story with a lesson on God's exacting standards and the importance of keeping His commandments to the letter. Other people will come away from the story with the assurance that God will accept (only) the best that we can offer Him, whatever that happens to be. Both are important lessons and valid applications of vital, eternal truths.

Naturally, these are only two possible interpretations and applications of this particular story. The scriptures are full of countless stories that can be interpreted in an immeasurable number of ways and with a myriad of possible applications. Perhaps that's partly how the scriptures (and each General Conference, for that matter) are bound to have a lesson for everyone. These stories and lessons give us an inspired framework, and it's up to us to determine, through the guidance of the Spirit, how we might interpret and apply them.

Influencing Joy

Today, I've been thinking about joy and the things that do or do not bring me joy, but toward the end of the day, I came to the realization that I may have more choice over my joy than I had thought. I can choose to try to find more joy in things I already enjoy and to find the joy in things I don't yet enjoy. And for the things I can't find joy in, I can at least try not to let them diminish the joy I find in other things. For example, I'm not fond of most pets or the noise and messes they make. Yet, I may be able to find something to enjoy about pets, and even if I can't, I can at least try not to let the pets bother me so much that I stop enjoying other things. My joy is and will continue to be influenced by external factors, but I can have some control over what and how much influence those factors have. With enough emotional discipline, I can hopefully find joy in almost everything and make sure nothing can diminish my joy.

The Purpose of Pain

This evening, in family scripture study, we read a talk that shared this quote from Elder David A. Bednar: "guilt is to our spirit what pain is to our body—a warning of danger and a protection from additional damage." Pain is unpleasant, especially with the knowledge that the Savior suffered our pain as well, but pain serves an important function. It warns us against things that are harmful and dissuades us from repeating whatever action caused the pain in the first place. Anyone who has hit their thumb with a hammer knows to place their next hammer stroke more carefully, hopefully preventing further harm.

Similarly, anyone who has felt guilt also feels dissuaded from doing whatever it was that made them feel guilty. Just as physical pain helps prevent further physical harm, spiritual pain helps prevent further spiritual harm. Our guilt at having done something wrong helps us not want to repeat the same mistake.

Guilt and pain are not pleasant feelings, but they are important to our physical and spiritual development. We need to feel physical pain to know what physical dangers to avoid, and we need to feel spiritual pain to know what spiritual dangers to avoid. Though unpleasant, guilt and pain play important roles in our mortal and eternal progression, and I'm grateful they each accomplish their purpose as well as they do.