Its Lowest Point

While I was looking up the word "oscillate" to make sure I was spelling it correctly (I wasn't), I came across an example of using the word "oscillate" in a sentence: "a pendulum oscillates about its lowest point." And boy, does it.

Sometimes, I give in to temptation. I relax a little, maybe a little too much, and I let myself have a little fun, and it actually feels good... for a while. But then the pendulum swings the other way, and sometimes it swings back hard enough that I actually make some spiritual progress, and that feels good too, in a different way. But that doesn't last, either. Eventually, the spiritual high ends, and I swing back down, oscillating, as always, about my lowest point, the point that's farthest away from either kind of happiness.

That's kind of where I am right now. I don't currently feel the joy of the gospel, and I don't currently feel the fun of sin. Sometimes, I wish I could pick one end of the pendulum's arc and just stay there. But gravity won't let me. Neither will God nor Satan nor my conscience nor my weak will. No matter where I am in that pendulum's arc, I will always feel the pull in the other direction, and every time I oscillate, I will spend some amount of time at my lowest point.

That's life, I guess. This pattern of oscillating highs and lows is part of the human condition. I will never stop facing temptation, and I will never stop regretting giving in. Until I learn to resist the pull of temptation, I'll have to learn to live with the fact that I will frequently spend time at my lowest point.

The Joy of Service

Yesterday, I helped a friend help his grandmother deal with a lot of garbage that had piled up behind her shed. Much of it was heavy and filthy and gross, and we ended up taking two loads and a total of around 1600 pounds of garbage to the dump. It was hard word, and parts of it were rather unpleasant, but it was satisfying. It felt good to help my friend help his grandma. I plan to return to give them more help soon.

This is a feeling I had almost forgotten. I used to love helping people, but other time, helping others grew to feel more and more like a chore. I had lost the joy of service. But as I helped my friend and his grandmother, I felt some of that joy come back. I look forward to helping them more and feeling more of that joy. I want that joy to be part of my life and personality again. I hope that, as I help others voluntarily, I'll grow to get that joy back.

How Much Is Eternity Worth?

On the flipside of selling eternity to get a toy, I wonder how much it would be worth to buy eternity. Granted, eternity can't be purchased. No amount of money will foot the bill. Still, in an abstract sense, the question stands. How much should someone be willing to give up in order to gain Celestial Glory? How much should one be willing to sacrifice in exchange for Eternity? How much should one be willing to "Pay"?

My estimate is "just about anything," but for me, personally, I don't think I'd take that deal. I don't think I'd be willing to sacrifice everything to gain the Celestial Kingdom. I could hope I would be, but, knowing me, I doubt it. Heck, I don't think I'd even be as willing to sacrifice as Martin Harris was. He, perhaps reluctantly, mortgaged his property to pay for the publication of The Book of Mormon, hoping to make the money back by selling copies of the book. When that failed, he ended up selling most of his property to pay his debt. Ultimately, he sold almost everything he had for the sake of God's Kingdom. I don't think I could have done that.

No one can buy their way into the Celestial Kingdom, and even if one could, I don't think I could. The blessings of the Celestial Kingdom are worth more than all the treasures of the Earth. But, compared to my willingness and ability to pay, the actual cost of getting those blessings may still be too great.

"Who... Sells Eternity to Get a Toy?"

Tonight, in our Family Scripture Study, we read and listened to a talk by Elder Dale G. Renlund in which he quoted William Shakespeare:

What win I, if I gain the thing I seek?

A dream, a breath, a froth of fleeting joy.

Who buys a minute’s mirth to wail a week, 

Or sells eternity to get a toy?

Of course, it's completely ludicrous to "sell eternity to get a toy," but it's not all that uncommon for people to at least occasionally be that short-sighted. We mortal beings sometimes lose sight of the eternal blessings that God offers us. It's easier to see the toys right in front of us than the eternity waiting a lifetime away.

Yet, Elder Renlund offered hope:

If we have lost sight of eternity for the sake of a toy, we can choose to repent. Because of the Atonement of Jesus Christ, we have another chance. Metaphorically, we can exchange the toy we so ill-advisedly purchased in the first place and receive again the hope of eternity.

It is, of course, extremely foolish to sell eternity to get a toy, but thankfully, through the mercy of Christ and the power of His Atonement, we can get a refund. If we give up the "toy" and repent quickly enough, we can get the hope of eternity back.

Toys are fun, but they don't last forever. Let us try to be wise enough to hold on to eternity, even if it means having to live without a few fun toys. 

A Strong Spiritual Foundation

In construction, it's important to start with a strong foundation. That's why construction workers dig deep, usually until they hit solid rock, then lay a foundation made of something strong, like concrete, usually reinforced with some kind of metal, then let it set before they try to build anything on top of it. Without a good foundation, you can't build much of anything and expect it to stay standing for long.

Similarly, we need to make sure our spiritual foundation is secure before we try to build on it. That's why we "dig deep" until we hit solid principles, like God is Our Loving Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ is Our Savior and Redeemer. Then we can lay a foundation on those principles. That foundation might be something like faith or trust or core beliefs, and we should make sure that we reinforce that foundation with the iron rod (i.e. God's words). Then we need to let our foundation set over time and become firm and solid before we can build more on top of it.

I feel like I'm still working on my spiritual foundation. There are some cracks in it that I need to repair so I can get my spiritual house in order. Digging deep and laying a sure foundation is somewhat difficult, and it can take a lot of work, but it's important to help ensure that whatever we build on that foundation may be able to stand. I hope we all put in the effort to dig deep to our most firmly held beliefs and lay our foundations solidly upon them, reinforced with the scriptures. Then we can build our other beliefs and practices on top of that.

I want all of me beliefs and habits to be solid and sturdy. To accomplish that, I need to make sure I build them on a solid spiritual foundation.

To Avoid Suffering

D&C 19:16-18 For behold, I, God, have suffered these things for all, that they might not suffer if they would repent; 

But if they would not repent they must suffer even as I;  

Which suffering caused myself, even God, the greatest of all, to tremble because of pain, and to bleed at every pore, and to suffer both body and spirit—and would that I might not drink the bitter cup, and shrink—

As a person who would like to avoid suffering as much as possible, I feel like this is an important set of scriptures to remember. Life is hard, and life is especially hard when we hold ourselves to high standards and try to be righteous. I sometimes wonder whether the struggle is even worth it. Yet, if this righteous struggle for the few short decades we spend in mortality help us to avoid the kind of suffering Christ experienced, I think I can learn to put up with it.

I don't want to struggle or suffer any more than I have to, and I certainly don't want to suffer as much as Christ did. If I can avoid eternal torment by enduring the struggle of trying to be righteous, then that's probably worth it.

Undeserved Mercy

Earlier today, I was thinking about mercy, and on of the conclusions I came to is that we should show mercy even to those who don't practice it. At first, this seems unreasonable. After all, those who don't practice mercy give up their right to receive it, don't they? But if you only show mercy to those who deserve mercy, I think that misses the point of what mercy is. Mercy is, by most definitions, unearned. If they deserved it, it wouldn't be mercy. It would be justice. So, instead of being just as kind and merciful to others as they are, let's try to be a little nicer. Let's show the mercy and grace we hope God shows us.

Some people don't deserve mercy/ Strictly speaking, we don't either. Let's show mercy and kindness anyway and hope God does the same.