The Ideal Character

When I play D&D, I often speak as my character, using my best approximation of my character's voice. When I played as Valonor Kharagon, Paladin of Bahamut, the Platinum Dragon, I tried to give him a voice suited to a strong and noble Dragonborn, something deep and dignified, but with a hint of a growl behind it. As a way to try to get the voice right and to practice improvisational acting as my character, I frequently practice at home. Thus, for a time, I conversed with my family with the voice of a noble, if a bit gruff, Dragonborn Paladin. I quite enjoyed practicing and pretending to be a noble paladin.

However, that character is dead now, and my current character is less worthy of emulation. Yet, perhaps I can still practice being a Paladin. I can still adopt the voice and persona of a Paladin, even if I'm not actively playing a Paladin character. And while I'm at it, I could make the Paladin I pretend to be the most ideal Paladin I can imagine, not a gruff, Dragonborn Paladin, but a more relatable Human Paladin, one who closely resembles my ideal self.

Of course, the best possible role-model is Jesus Christ, but it seems sacrilegious to try to copy Him directly. Rather, I plan to apply Christlike virtues to an imaginary character and then practice being that character. The closer that character resembles Christ, and the closer I come to resembling that character, the closer I'll get to resembling Christ. I'll work my way up to the point where I can try to be like Jesus Christ, but first I'll practice by trying to be like a Paladin, and not just any Paladin: A Paladin that's as close to my ideal self as I can make him.

He'll have to be of noble birth, sent away from home to prove himself, but with plans to return home with his honor intact so he can inherit everything his royal parents want to give him. Making his parents the King and Queen of the whole universe might be a bit much, but I can easily see them being lesser nobility or greater lords, just to make them a bit more relatable.

I'd want the Ideal Paladin to possess every Christlike trait imaginable, including His fine balance between Justice and Mercy.

The Paladin's stance on violence might be a bit tricky to work out. I don't want him to be a violent person; physical violence should be a last resort, yet I want this paladin to also represent my fight against Satan, in which violence is absolutely justified and necessary. Perhaps this Paladin should carry two weapons: a non-lethal mace, to be used, only when necessary, against other living creatures, and a sharp, lethal sword, to be used, without reservation, against evil spirits. Of course, he'll also wear armor and carry a shield.

Depending on how high-level and high-fantasy I want to make this character, he'll probably also use holy magic to protect and heal himself and others, and perhaps to smite evil as well, but I want this character to be relatable and achievable, so perhaps a low-fantasy, low-level version of the character would make a good starting point. He can grow in magical power as I grow in virtue. Perhaps my virtue (plus a more-than-generous allotment from the God whom he worships) could be the source of his power.

But speaking about the God this Paladin worships, I should figure that out as well. Again, I should avoid being too on-the-nose about it, to avoid sacrilege, but I might make up something vague about a Holy Light, perhaps with a mention of a Golden Tome, if I want to make scripture study an integral part of this character. And prayer can be how he communicates with deity and casts his spells (or rather, requests miracles which the Holy Light has already agreed to grant but has made conditional on his asking for them).

As fun as it is to imagine all that, the most important aspect of this character is his personality, which will be as close to Christ's as I can make it, so I'll have to study Jesus Christ's personality in order to work out what this ideal Paladin's personality should be.

Lastly, he'll need a name. Something respectable, yet human. Valonor Kharagon would never do. Perhaps I could give him my name, Andrew. It's manly enough, if you'll pardon the pun. I just wonder if it might get confusing. Perhaps I could call him Andrew the Paladin, as distinct from Andrew the sinner, yet as time goes on, I should become more of a Paladin and less of a sinner. That is the whole idea, after all. This whole exercise is an attempt to help me visualize and adopt the ideal character. If I succeed, I will essentially become Andrew the Paladin. Then, perhaps my name is the best name I could give him.

My goal is to become my ideal self. It may help to have a character model that lets me visualize what that ideal self looks like.