Motivations

In Alma 44, Captain Moroni had the opportunity to try to convince the enemy captain, Zerahemnah, to surrender, and he used several factors to try to motivate Zerahemnah to surrender:

Alma 44:5-6

And now, Zerahemnah, I command you, in the name of that all-powerful God, who has strengthened our arms that we have gained power over you, by our faith, by our religion, and by our rites of worship, and by our church, and by the sacred support which we owe to our wives and our children, by that liberty which binds us to our lands and our country; yea, and also by the maintenance of the sacred word of God, to which we owe all our happiness; and by all that is most dear unto us—

Yea, and this is not all; I command you by all the desires which ye have for life, that ye deliver up your weapons of war unto us, and we will seek not your blood, but we will spare your lives, if ye will go your way and come not again to war against us.

The first several factors, pretty much all the factors Captain Moroni listed in verse 5, are ones that don't strike me as strongly motivating for Zerahemnah. We may find it impressive that Captain Moroni could command Zerahemnah to repent in the name of God, but Zerahemnah and his soldiers didn't believe in God, so that factor wouldn't have held a lot of weight for them. They likely would have been even less impressed by appeals to the Nephites' faith, religion, rites of worship, church, or scriptures. If Zerahemnah doesn't care about the Nephites' God, he wouldn't care about any of those things either.

That leaves three factors from verse four: "the sacred support which we owe to our wives and our children," "that liberty which binds us to our lands and our country," and "all that is most dear unto us." If Zerahemnah is willing to go to war with people, he probably doesn't care a whole lot about those people's wives and children. And, as it happens, their liberty is what  Zerahemnah was coming to destroy, at least according to Moroni:

Alma 44:2 

Behold, we have not come out to battle against you that we might shed your blood for power; neither do we desire to bring any one to the yoke of bondage. But this is the very cause for which ye have come against us; yea, and ye are angry with us because of our religion.

And as for the last factor of that verse, "all that is most dear unto us," I think that was Captain Moroni's problem. He was listing things that were important to himself and to the other Nephites, not to Zerahemnah and his army of Lamanites. Granted, Moroni could have been doing this on purpose, saying things that would motivate his own soldiers, even though he knew that none of that would do a thing to help motivate Zerahemnah to surrender.

Eventually, though, Captain Moroni appeals to a factor that actually would motivate Zerahemnah: his own survival. After listing several motivating factors that were important to the Nephites, Captain Moroni said "Yea, and this is not all; I command you by all the desires which ye have for life, that ye deliver up your weapons of war unto us, and we will seek not your blood, but we will spare your lives, if ye will go your way and come not again to war against us" (Alma 44:6). I believe it was this factor that (almost) convinced Zerahemnah to surrender.

When we're trying to convince someone to do something for us, it doesn't make much sense to base our arguments on factors that are only really motivating for us. Instead, we should focus on what is or might be a motivating factor for them. We should consider what they care about and appeal to that. That way, we'll be more likely to be able to convince them to do what we want them to do, like surrender a fight with no further bloodshed.

I think God understands that principle, which may be why He offers us eternal blessings, threatens us with punishment, and appeals to our love for Him. He knows that different people will have different reasons to want to keep the commandments, so He appeals to many of those reasons, knowing that various reasons will resonate with some people more than others.

When attempting to motivate others, I think it's important to consider their perspective and make appeals to motivations that we think are important to them.