A Good Day to Start a New Beginning

One good thing about New Years is that it marks a new beginning. But really, every new day could be a new beginning. We can start over basically any time we decide to. Repentance makes it possible to start a new beginning at any time. So, while New Years is a good time to have a new beginning, any other time would be just as good. We don't need to wait until New Years to start a new beginning. Every day is a new day.

Just Be a Good Person

I think I worry too much. I just saw a Facebook post that says "Just be a good person. Love who you can, help where you can, give what you can," and I think I really needed to read that. God is good, and he wants us to be good. That's just about it. Through the power of the Atonement, missteps and wrongdoings can be forgiven, and through personal revelation, God can give me the guidance I need when I need it. Perhaps I don't need to stress about specifics and details as much as I do. All we ultimately need to do is be good and trust God to make sure it all works out. I'm confident that God we make sure that those who have done good in life will have a good afterlife, and I don't really need any more specific details than that. I just need to be a good person. If I can do that, I'm pretty sure everything will work out well enough.

Listening for the Voice of the Lord

Tonight, for family scripture study, we listened to a General Conference talk in which Elder Neil L. Andersen mentioned hearing the voice of the Lord through His servants. That got me thinking about how we can hear the voice of the Lord through other people and things as well. That's basically the function of parables and the analogies I've shared on my blog. If we look and listen carefully, we can find important truths and messages from God just about anywhere. We can hear the voice of the Lord through His servants, of course, but we can also hear it in the conversations we have with each other, perhaps in the shows and movies we watch, easily in nature, and with some creativity in just about any place else. All of reality echoes with the truths God wants to teach us. If we listen carefully, we can hear the voice of the Lord through just about anything.

Back as a Dungeon Master

After the last D&D campaign I ran ended, I took a brief break from being a Dungeon Master and had some fun in a pair of brief games, the most recent of which recently ended, which means that I am now the DM again.And you know what? It feels pretty good. It was nice to take a break from DMing, but breaks both can't and shouldn't last forever. Frankly, I feel like this break lasted a little too long, so I may be a bit rusty. But now I'm back in action, and it feels good. I'm looking forward to planning games and running encounters again. Sure, it'll take some work, but I feel plenty refreshed and more than ready to take up the mantle of Dungeon Master again.

This was a good break, and it's important to take breaks when we need to, but the purpose of breaks is to refresh us so that we can work well when we get back to work. I hope to DM this next campaign at least as well as the last one, and I hope to help each player at the table have fun every week.

Being a DM can be exhausting, and I'm glad I took a break, but now I'm glad that that break is over, because I feel ready to come back as Dungeon Master.

Communication Across Distance

One thing I love about technology, or the internet more specifically, is that it allows people to connect with each other, even over great distances. No matter where a person is on Earth, as long as they have an internet connection, they can connect with anyone else with an internet connection, even if they're on opposite sides of the planet.

What's even more impressive is that prayer can establish communication across even greater distances. I'm not sure where God is, physically, but no matter how far away we are from God, physically or spiritually, we can still connect with God through prayer. Granted, the greater the distance is, the harder it is to communicate with God, but it's never impossible. We can always reach out to our Heavenly Father through prayer.

I'm grateful that we can always communicate with God, across any amount of distance. It's comforting to know that we never have to be or feel alone and that we can always ask God for help and answers. God can feel distant at times, but it's great to know that we can always communicate with God, across any distance.

The Gift of Love

I don't know if it was actually said in church today, but one of the messages I picked up from church today is that one of the best ways to celebrate the birth of Christ is to develop Christlike love. God loves us, and He wants us to love each other. In the spirit of Christmas, we should try to show love for those whom we love and extend that love to as many people as possible. As God loves us, we should try to share that love with others as well, especially since loving others is a good way to show love for God. The best way to worship Christ is to follow His example, and the example He set was all about showing Christlike love.

A Challenging, Cooperative Game

My family and I are currently playing a challenging cooperative game. In this game, the players work together to try to accomplish objectives, despite the difficulty of the game and the whims of luck. This game is a lot like life, in that we're all trying to help each other, despite the difficulties of life. I like this kind of game, where communication and cooperation are the key to winning, as they are in life. I love that life is a cooperative game, and that, despite its difficulties, we can win if we work together.

Faith in Faith

I don't know whether it's redundant or ironic, but I have faith in the power of faith. Faith can be a powerful motivator, a source of inspiration and encouragement, a reflection of our aspirations, and even a cause of healing. Faith can be powerful, and I feel like I would like more of that power in my life. Of course, I'd rather not merely take things on faith. I'd like answers to my questions. But until I get them, I can still have faith, even if only in the power of having faith.

Imperfect Gifts and Gatherings

I am comforted by the fact that things don't have to be perfect. Things that are "good enough" can indeed be good enough. Our presents and parties don't have to be perfect, and neither do we, at least, not yet. While we should continually strive for improvement, we don't need to be upset at ourselves for not being perfect or for not being able to make things perfect.

My gifts for my family may not be the fanciest, most exciting, or most presentable, but I'm sure they'll be appreciated, regardless. And though our gatherings won't be perfect, either, the point is to spend time together. It's okay if the gatherings aren't special; the family connection still will be.

This time of year, people tend to worry more than they really need to, but I think it's more important to spend quality time with family than it is to try to make sure things are perfect. Things will never be completely perfect, at least not in this life. It's far more important to express love for our families and pend time with them, however imperfectly.

Our holiday season won't be perfect, but as long as we spend it well, it'll be good enough.

Good to Believe

Facebook just reminded me that, five years ago, I shared the following image.

In case the image breaks later, it says, "I still believe in Santa Claus. He may not be the one that puts the presents under the tree, but his spirit works through us each time we give freely without expectation and each time we spread joy, love, and light."

I find this quote pretty inspiring, and it helps me to see the good that belief in Santa Claus can do. It's the spirit of Christmas, and as long as it inspires goodness, generosity, kindness, and compassion, then belief in Santa Claus is a good thing, even if it is technically a lie. As Moroni 7:13 says, "But behold, that which is of God inviteth and enticeth to do good continually; wherefore, every thing which inviteth and enticeth to do good, and to love God, and to serve him, is inspired of God."

I fully believe that the ideas behind Santa Claus were inspired by God and that it's a good thing to believe in him. It is good to be good, and anything that inspires people to be good is probably good, too.

An Honest Opinion

This afternoon, I had to update my resume and write a cover letter, bragging about my skills, abilities, and qualifications. I've always had trouble with situations like these. I don't like bragging about myself, partly because I don't want to be prideful, and partly because I have low self-esteem. Yet, bragging or not, there are some positive claims I can make about myself. I can, of course, share objective truths, including those that refer to my qualifications and experience. I can also share my honest opinion about myself and my abilities, evaluating myself the way I would evaluate anyone else.

It's difficult for me to sing my own praises, but I can try to be honest about what I've done, what I've learned, and what I can do. I don't like to brag, but I can share my honest opinions.

Why Hell Exists

I think I've figured out why Hell exists and why God seems to lie about it. According to most of Christendom (and probably many other religions, for that matter), there is a place called Hell, a place of eternal suffering, fire and brimstone, where the wicked are tortured for eternity. According to the teachings of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, it doesn't quite work like that. In our teachings, there are two or three places that could be considered analogous to "Hell," even though none of them really matches the traditional version of Hell.

One of those places is Spirit Prison, which is where wicked spirits go before their resurrection and final judgement. Yet, it's not quite the same as the traditional depiction of Hell. I don't know how much suffering happens in Spirit Prison, but I do know that it's temporary. Everyone who enters Spirit Prison will ultimately be let out, be resurrected, and face Final Judgement, where they'll be sent somewhere else.

One potential final destination, and the second possible "Hell"ish location, is the Telestial Kingdom, which is the final destination of murderers, rapists, and other unrepentantly horrible people. This is where most evil people will spend the rest of eternity. Yet, it's not really "hellish" at all. In fact, we've been told that the Telestial Kingdom is even nicer than the world we live in now.

The one place that comes closest to Hell in our theology, in my opinion, is Outer Darkness, a place of no light and no glory, where the unforgivable live out the rest of eternity as far from the presence of God as a creature can get. I don't know whether there's fire and brimstone in this place, but I know that it won't have a lot of people. Specifically, I know of only two people who will (or have been) sent there: Judas Iscariot and Cain, who murdered Abel. Other than a sparse handful of people who sinned against a perfect knowledge of their sin, Outer Darkness is reserved for Lucifer himself and the angels who followed him. It is the worst place a person can, theoretically, end up, but it's not the place where most bad people will go.

So, if no place in existence matches the traditional depiction of hell, why does the image of hell exist? Why are we warned about the risk of ending up in a place that doesn't actually exist?

My guess is that God is employing the Spaghetti Method. To test whether a spaghetti noodle is cooked enough, some people will fling a cooked noodle at the wall and see if it sticks. If it sticks, the spaghetti is done. Hence comes the idea of figuratively throwing every idea at a figurative wall to see what "sticks." Only, in God's case, He's not dealing with a single spaghetti noodle or a single wall. He's dealing with all mankind and every idea that can be invented. My guess is that God throws so many ideas at the wall, including the (empty) threat of (a nonexistent) hell, not because He hopes that some of them will stick, but because He knows that all of them will.

People are different, and different people are motivated by different things. Some people are tempted by the allure of heaven, so God promises them heaven. Some people are scared of the prospect of hell, so God threatens them with hell. Some people will only worship the God who is the greatest, so He claims to be omnipotent. Some people will only worship a God that they can bond with, so He lets us call Him "Father." By offering people many different ways and reasons to come to Him, God ensures that there's a path and motivation for everyone, including those who are only motivated by their desire to stay out of Hell. God offers different ideas to different people, so He can be whatever each person needs Him to be.

And who knows? Maybe most of it is mostly true. There are places of at least temporary suffering. There are places where the wicked are sent to face Eternal Damnation (even though that doesn't mean what most people think it means). There are places and conditions that can be described as Hell. Similarly, God, our creator and thus our "Father," is functionally, mostly omnipotent, and between the various degrees of the Three Kingdoms of Glory, there's probably a Heaven for just about everybody. Almost all religions have at least some truth to them, if we allow for some creative interpretations of actual truths. The traditional depiction of Hell may be an exaggeration, but it's close enough to various truths to not be a total fabrication, and even if it was completely made up, it was probably made up by people misinterpreting the Word of God. We can't blame God for people misinterpreting what He said, blowing it out of proportion, and adding fictitious details. We can't blame God for the untruths and exaggerations that some churches teach in His name. Even if Hell is a lie that people tell each other, that doesn't mean that God Himself ever lied about it.

There are many teachings, some of which contradict each other, or at least seem to, and many of them exist because that's what people need to hear. Some people need for comforting promise of heaven to give them something to reach for. Some people need the threat of hell to put some fire under their feet. God and others offer people various teachings in order to motivate them to do what they should. As long as people hunger for different carrots and avoid different sticks, there will be different teachings for different people. So, maybe that's why the idea of hell exists. True or not, the concept of hell can be motivating, and some people need the threat of hell or the promise of heaven or some specific idea of God in order to motivate them to go in the right direction.

Responsible for the Influence

As we studied The Family: A Proclamation to the World, we learned that parents are responsible for how the raise their children, but I think that that principle extends farther than that. Everyone who has an influence on others have a responsibility for that influence. Parents, coaches, and teachers are responsible for the influence they have on their children. Political and religious leaders are responsible for the influence they have on their followers. Friends and siblings are responsible for the influence they have on each other. Anyone who has an influence on anyone is responsible for the influence they have. So, insofar as we influence others, we are responsible to be a good influence on them, so let's all try to have a good influence on others and to help encourage them to be better, happier people, rather than the reverse. We may not be responsible for other's actions, but are are responsible for the influence we have on them.

Stoic Serenity

Most of us have heard of the Serenity Prayer: "God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference." Stoic philosophy teaches a similar principle. Some things are in our control, and other things are not, and we must learn to accept the fact that some things are out of our control, and we should learn to let those things go. We aren't responsible for the things we can't control, so we should try to accept the fact that things are the way they are and instead focus our efforts into doing what we can.

It's not helpful to worry about things we can't control, so we should practice stoicism and serenity by learning to let those things go.

The Power of Devotion

In Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild, Princess Zelda tried to unlock the magical power she was born with by praying at various shrines throughout the kingdom, but what actually awakens her power is the need to use it to protect someone she cares about. Ultimately, I think what truly unlocked her power was devotion. It could have been awakened through her devotion to her kingdom or her goddess, but it was ultimately awakened by her devotion to her closest friend.

Similarly, we can also unlock great power through devotion. Our devotion to God, our families, our countries, or even to ideals, can motivate and empower us to do greater things than we could otherwise have done. It may be that faith leads to miracles partly because our devotion to God can inspire us to do miraculous things.

We not not be able to manifest magical powers like Zelda did, but if we care about someone or something enough, we still do great things, motivated through the power of devotion.

Hierarchy of Needs

I let today get away from me. It took me longer than I expected to do the handful of things I needed to get done today, and I basically forgot to blog in the meantime. Then, in the evening, things kept piling up, so I had neither the time nor the energy to blog. I still barely have the energy to type coherent thoughts. I should go to bed soon. People need rest, and I actually promised someone that I'd get a decent amount of sleep tonight. I'd better get on that.

A guy named Maslow came up with a hierarchy of needs, with physiological needs near the bottom and more spiritual needs at the top. He argued that we need to satisfy our lower needs before we can build on them and address our higher needs. If our physical needs aren't being met, then we cannot meet our spiritual needs. Now, I don't know if that's true or not, but I do know that, right now, I have a physical need to get some sleep.

Old Habits Die Hard

The say that odd habits die hard. I think that's true. In fact, I'm not sure that old habits normally just "die out." Many old habits don't die unless we deliberately kill them, and even then, doing so might be a challenge. Case in point, it is currently 11:34 as I'm writing this. Specifically, it's 11:34 PM, just before midnight, not just before noon. Naturally, I'm going to continue to try to blog earlier, but I already know that some days are going to be better than others, and on other days, my old habits are going to get the best of me. Hopefully, my good days will gradually grow to outnumber my bad days until I kick this bad habit for good. With enough persistence and diligence, I can outlast this old habit and finally kill it off.

As Much Help As Needed

In my Business class, we learned about several management styles, including a management style that's really multiple styles rolled into one. This style assesses the abilities and needs of the team and then employs a style ranging from Directing to Coaching to Supporting to Delegating, depending on how much guidance and support the team members need. The idea is to give the team members as much direction as they need while giving them as much freedom and responsibility as they can handle.

This, I believe, is a good way to managed leadership responsibilities and the management of team members. Different people need different amounts of help with various aspects of their lives and at different times. Personally, I like it when I feel like I'm being given the amount of help that I need. I like getting the support I need, and I like it when I and others are confident that I can be trusted to work well, even with less direction. Sometimes, I need more help with certain things, and sometimes I can do better with less. It's all about finding the right balance and adjusting that balance as needed.

I should learn to do the same with my work. I'm a writing tutor, and some of my students need more assistance and/or support than others. I should adjust my tutoring method to fit my students, just as I hope my leaders (including God) adjust their methods for me.

We all need different amounts of help in different areas at different times. The best leaders provide their people with whatever amount of help they need.

Self-Mastery

In Disney's Aladdin, the titular beggar becomes the owner/master of a powerful, wish-granting genie, only to realize that he wasn't sure what to wish for. When Aladdin asked the genie what he would wish for, the genie ultimately answered, "Freedom. ...To be my own master. Such a thing would be greater than all the magic and all the treasures in all the world."

I completely agree with the genie. Being one's own master, gaining that level of self-mastery, is not only inherently desirable, but also spiritually essential. We need to gain mastery over ourselves, or our own habits or outside influences will become our masters instead. I want to gain self-mastery, and to that end, I am working to overcome undesired habits (like waiting too long to blog each day) and regulating others' influence over me.

Granted, we can't do away with habits altogether, as we are creatures of habit, and it would be unwise to never allow anyone to influence us, as it is wise to at least consider their advice, but we can still decide which habits we develop and which we break and which advisors we heed and which we disregard. That way, we become our own masters by choosing which habits we maintain and what advice we follow. Our habits and outside forces may try to influence us, but the final decision is ours.

Our habits and other people will try to master us, but ultimately, we must learn to master ourselves.

Anonymous Gifts

When we give gifts, we almost always label them. The box or tag almost always states both the giver and receiver of the gift. Yet, there are rare, special occasions when a gift can be given anonymously, and even rarer occasions when the recipient can be anonymous as well.

I think that occasions like those are special, because the giver knows not whom they're helping except that they're helping a child of God, and the receiver has no one but God to thank for the gift. 

Both giving and recieving anonymously are special opportunities to experience the love of God. Giving anonymously shows Godly love in that we show love for any/all of God's children. And recieving an anonymous gift helps remind us that all our blessings ultimately come from God, even if they come through others.

If you get a chance, I encourage you to give an anonymous gift this year, if you haven't already. It's good to know that you've shown love for someone, even and especially if neither you nor those you bless know who each other are.

Only Two Hands

My brother and I went for a walk today, and on our way back, we picked up litter. We would have picked up more, as there was plenty of litter to pick up, but we each only had two hands to carry it.

So it goes with most of life. There is only so much each of us can do. As such, all we can really do is do what we can and leave the rest to others and to God. My brother and I picked up a few pieces of litter today, maybe some people will pick up a few more, and so on. If enough of us do what we can, we can get the work done, no matter how little we can each do on our own.

My brother and I each have only two hands, and there are limits to what we can do, but if enough people lend their hands to the work that needs to be done, having two hands each will be enough.

The Spirit of the Rule

It's late. I'm late. But I've had good reasons. I had work this morning that went into the afternoon, and then I had other plans that took up my afternoon and into the evening. Now, it's late into the evening, and I have yet to blog. But I am slightly comforted in the knowledge that I am currently blogging about as early as I could have. The letter of the rule to blog earlier has been violated, but the spirit of the rule has not. I'll count that as a win.

In moral cases (though perhaps not in legal cases), the spirit of a rule matters much more than the letter. Granted, it is far better to obey both the letter and the spirit of the rule, but writing a thoughtful blog post as early as possible at 10:50 pm is probably better than wasting a whole morning doing nothing, typing out a quick blog post at 11:50 am, and squeaking it out just before noon.

Of course, I will try to follow both the letter and the spirit of the rule, but if I had to choose between doing one or the other, I hope I would choose the spirit.

Absolutely (Mostly) True

I think I need to stop getting hung up on precise wording. The Thirteenth Article of our Faith says, in part, that we "believe all things," which obviously isn't true. There are "things" (including principles, doctrines, and teachings, especially those of other faiths) that we don't believe. To say that "we believe all things" is so untrue that I wonder if there's context that the Thirteenth Article of Faith leaves out. Paul couldn't have meant that Christians do or should believe everything they hear or read.

Perhaps I should stop trying to take things so literally. I know that the church is supposed to be a source of absolute truth, but I find that many of the church's teachings are more generally true than absolutely true, like God being omnipotent, which is mostly true, but with a few specific exceptions. If I try to think of all of the church's teachings as being "mostly true" instead of "absolutely true," then any contradictions in the teachings of the church are merely rare exceptions to generally true statements instead of evidence that one statement or another must be false.

But the thing is, I shouldn't have to mentally add words like "most" and "usually" to statements coming from representatives of the church. They should have the diligence to include such qualifiers themselves. True, it may be necessary to oversimplify some Gospel topics so that we can understand them, but in such cases, the teachers should honestly admit that their teachings are necessarily oversimplified. If one presents an idea as being absolutely true, one should be careful to ensure that what they say is, in fact, absolutely true. Heck, even I try to only say true statements, even when I'm not claiming to be presenting the Word of God. I would hope that the Prophets and Apostles and everyone else who writes Scripture would choose their words at least a carefully as some guy with a blog.

But, given that they don't, I'll try to filter their words through a layer of qualifiers that will allow me to explain away any apparent contradictions in teachings, because the alternative is to doubt the teachers of "absolute truth" when I find out that what they're teaching is not actually absolutely true.

Baby Steps in the Right Direction

I remembered, on my ride back from D&D tonight, that I was supposed to blog before noon today. However, I would say that blogging at 7ish instead of near-midnight is something of a step in the right direction. And really, sometimes taking steps in the right direction is all we can ask of ourselves or others. Change takes time, and some changes take more time than others. I will change for the better, even if the change comes more slowly than I'd like. The good news is that, since we will be able to progress through the eternities, even small steps in the right direction can ultimately get us where we're going.

I've made a small improvement today. So long as this trend continues, I think I'll be okay.

Doing Assignments on Time

I have developed a bad habit of putting off blogging until late into the night. This is, as I've learned toward the beginning of this semester, not like me. When I get an assignment, I usually try to get it done as soon as possible, if only to get the task done with so I can relax and enjoy my weekend, the time when many assignments fall due. This also gives me a buffer. If something goes wrong or takes longer than I expect it to, I still have time to finish the assignment on time. At Boy Scout Camp, I heard a saying: "Early is on time, on time is late, and late is inexcusable." While I wouldn't go so far as to say that late blog posts are inexcusable, I agree that blogging earlier would be better than blogging later, if only because it would let me go to bed earlier and get more sleep.

When I started this blog, the idea was that I would blog (specifically about Conference talks, if I recall correctly) every morning. After 12pm, it's not "morning" anymore; it's literally "afternoon." I can't promise that I'll blog before noon every day from now on (and I won't promise to only blog about Conference talks), but I will promise to blog before noon tomorrow (if it is still "tomorrow" by the time I post this).

More Important Than Blogging

Some things are more important than blogging. Such things include showing compassion, giving service, fulfilling obligations, and getting sufficient sleep. So, I'm sorry that I didn't really blog tonight, but, if confronted with the same situation, I think I'd make the same decisions. I know that blogging is important for me, but what I did instead tonight was even more important.

Mammals Don't Lay Eggs

They say that mammals don't lay eggs, but that's not really true. There are some mammals that do, in fact, lay eggs, including echidnas and platypi. That said, most mammals don't lay eggs, and, as a general rule, "mammals don't lay eggs" is true enough that we can accept it at a general rule, even while acknowledging a few exceptions. Granted, I would personally prefer that we not over-generalize the abilities and inabilities of mammals, but I still must admit that it's true enough that, for most intents and purposes, we might as well say that mammals don't lay eggs, even if it's not strictly true. 

By the same token, they say that God is omnipotent, that there is nothing that God cannot do, but that's not completely true. Even going only by modern revelation, and discrediting all other sources as potential mistranslations  or misinterpretations, I can think of at least one thing God cannot do. He cannot create intelligence. D&C 93:29 says that "Intelligence, or the light of truth, was not created or made, neither indeed can be." If intelligence cannot be created, then God cannot create it, and thus there is at least one thing that God cannot do, and thus, God is not truly omnipotent. That said, God is very powerful, so much so that, as a general rule, "God is omnipotent" is true enough that we can accept it as a general rule, even while acknowledging at least one exception. Granted, I would personally prefer if we stopped exaggerating the power of God by claiming complete omnipotence, but I still must admit that it's true enough that, for most intents and purposes, we might as well say that God is omnipotent, even if it's not completely true.

Serving as a Team

This evening, I had an opportunity to help with a church Christmas dinner party. Thankfully, I wasn't the only volunteer. There was a whole team of us, and we were lucky there were, since there were many different jobs that needed doing, and we all had to work together and support each other to get our jobs done. Thankfully, I like people being part of a team. While I don't love the idea of people depending on me, I do like helping other people, including both teammates and those whom the team serves, and I sometimes like not having to do a whole project on my own. While there are sometimes benefits to working alone, working as a team is nice, too, and I'm glad I had the opportunity to do so tonight. I like serving others, and I'm glad I got an opportunity to serve on a team tonight.

Prayer Rocks

In a game I'm playing, the player character, Link, periodically prays at stone statues of the goddess Hylia for blessings from the goddess. Part of me thinks that I should do something similar. I could use a physical reminder to pray more often. Naturally, I want to avoid breaking the second of the Ten Commandments. I don't want to accidentally create, buy, or use anything that could be considered an idol. Yet, I have heard of people within our church using and advocating the use of "Prayer Rocks," which are rocks that get placed on pillows to remind someone to pray before going to bed. The rocks aren't any particular shape, and it doesn't matter whether or not you hold the rock while you prayer or not. You're not praying to the rock. You're praying to God. It's just that the rock reminds you to do so. I, perhaps, could use a rock like that.

Not Perfect, But Good

I'm not a perfect person. Far from it. I have flaws, and I'm not consistent about striving to overcome them. But still, despite my flaws and imperfections, I believe myself to be a good person. At least, I try to be good. I try to help people rather than hurt them, and I try to be a support to others, rather than a burden. I hold myself to high standards, and while I don't always meet those standards, I almost always try. So, no, I'm not a perfect person, but I hope that I'm still good enough that I can honestly consider myself Good.

Rolling 1s

I play D&D with my friends once a week, and a big part of D&D is rolling dice. The dice have different numbers of sides, from the four-sided d4 to the twenty-sided d20, all with numbers ranging from 1 to whatever number of sides that die has. Typically, higher numbers are better. They represent better results on Ability Checks and Attack Rolls, and they mean greater damage and more healing. The higher numbers you roll, the better your luck was.

We rolled a lot of 1s tonight.

And yet, as the game went on, the number of 1s and other low rolls we got became fairly comical. We laughed at our characters' bad fortune, and we marveled the unlikelihood of such an impressive string of bad luck. And it helps that the bad luck ultimately didn't matter all that much. Our numbers were just barely high enough when it really mattered, and even if they weren't, it was only a game. In the long run, the bad luck we had tonight was more funny and impressively rare than it was unfortunate.

Thus it is, or can be, with life. We can learn to laugh at our own misfortune, at least after some time has passed. We can appreciate the novelty of especially bad luck. And we can choose not to get worked up about things that don't actually matter. Will getting a flat tire today or tomorrow really matter years later? Will almost anything that happens in mortality really matter millennia after we pass on? Granted, there will be a few things that matter, but only such things as are in our direct control. Our choices will matter. Our luck will not.

So, when we roll 1s and other low numbers on the dice of life, we should try not to let that upset us. Yes, the misfortune is, by definition, unfortunate, but it can also be funny, impressive, and ultimately unimportant. A few bad rolls, or even several in quick succession, cannot change our eternal  progress. As long as we keep trying to move forward, God will count that as progress, no matter what our actual results are.

Naturally, we would prefer to have better luck, but when we get back luck, we can laugh at it, marvel at it, shrug it off, and keep striving to move forward.

No Reciprocity Needed

When we receive a gift, we feel indebted to the giver. We want to give something back of equal value. Yet, most friends, family members, and other givers of gifts don't expect that of us. They don't give us gifts with the expectation of receiving something in return. That's not how "giving" works. Sure, it's nice to give back to the people who give gifts to us, but when we can't repay the gift, whether because we didn't bring a gift to the party or because we can't afford the same quality of gift we've received or for any other reason, the best thing to do is to thank the giver, make good use of the gift, and move on, no reciprocity needed.

This is especially true with the Atonement. The Atonement of Jesus Christ is the greatest gift we've ever been given and could ever be given. As such, there's no way that we could ever repay that gift, and Christ doesn't expect us to. He just expects us to thank Him and make good use of His gift by repenting and becoming pure. The best and only way to "pay Jesus back" is to use His gift to become like Him.

We don't need to worry about repaying Jesus or anyone else who gives us a good gift. It's natural to want to reciprocate, and it's probably good to do so when we can, but we don't need to worry about it, especially in the case of Christ's Atonement. Reciprocation is nice, and it feels fair, but it isn't needed.

Sharing a Single-Player Game

I got a new game as an early Christmas present, and I really love it. The only issue is that it's a single-player game, meaning that it's harder to share the experience of the game with others. Yet, my brother and I have found a way. For a while, he watched me play. Right now, I'm watching him play. At some point, we might try splitting the controller between us, so we each have half of the controls. However we share the game, I'm glad we can both have fun with it and share the experience of playing the game. As with most other things I've done this last week, sharing this game with my family makes it more fun, even if it was only meant to be a single-player game.

Putting Family (or Schoolwork) First

That week went by too fast, and now it's back to the same old routine of tying to do homework as early as possible and hopefully having time for other things afterward. I know my homework is important and urgent and I really need to do it, but still, it was nice to have a week when I was able to put family first.

Yet, the more I think about it, the more I think I should put family first. Looking at the long-term consequences of various choices, it's fairly plain to realize that the few assignments I have left aren't likely to drastically adjust my grades in these classes, and even if they do, my grades in these classes aren't likely to drastically change my GPA overall, and even if they do adjust the average slightly, that isn't likely to diminish my prospects of getting a decent job. These last few assignments aren't very important. I'll still do them, but I don't necessarily need to devote much time to them, with the exceptions of the finals.

In contrast, family matters, eternally. My family relationships are important and will continue to remain important long after no one cares what my grades, GPA, or occupation were in mortality. Perhaps I can afford to continuing to prioritize spending time with family. Perhaps, despite the end of Thanksgiving week, I should continue the practice of putting family first.

More Fun with Family

I did a lot of fun things today. I watched a few YouTube videos, played Breath of the Wild and Disc Golf, and ate pizza at Round Table. And all of those things were more fun because I did them with family. It was fun to chat about the videos, to solve puzzles together, compare our luck and skill at throwing discs, and hang out at a large, conglomerated dinner table. I could have done any of those things alone. Watching videos, playing games, and eating pizza can all be done alone, and one can enjoy the solitude of doing such things on one's own, but today I was reminded that such things can also be even more fun when they're done together.

A Tradition of Family Time

I don't normally put much stock in tradition. Normally, I don't see much value in doing things the way others have done them, just because others have done them that way. However, I do see the value in some traditions, including the tradition of bringing families together at least once per year to share meals, games, and quality time with each other. This week has been lovely, and that has been largely because I've been able to spend much of it with family. Naturally, introvert that I am, I can get overwhelmed by the presence of too many people or too much noise, but we have thankfully been able to avoid that this year, and I'm grateful for that. I'm grateful for the amount of time I've been able to spend with my family this week, and I'm grateful for the tradition that gives us an excuse to get together.

Family and a Friend

I had a wonderful day today, and what made it so wonderful was that I was able to spend it with a small circle of my closest family members and my closest friend, who had been welcomed into our home to share Thanksgiving with us. Being with them, chatting with them, playing with them, eating with them, and just spending time with them, was an absolutely wonderful experience.

I hope heaven is as heavenly as today was. I know that, in eternity, we will be able to be with our faithful family members. My hope is that our heavenly home will also be open to a handful of our closest friends.

Bringing Families Together

Today, I had an opportunity to get together with family members that I hadn't seen in person in quite some time, but first, I had an opportunity to bring together family members that I have never seen at all. This morning, I went to the Temple with some family members, and we did some sealings, linking together families that I have never met. It was a nice experience, and it's wonderful to think that, because of what we did today, those families will be able to be together for Thanksgiving, for Christmas, and Forever. There's never a bad time to bring families together, but there are few better times to do so than the holidays.

Share Happiness

Some of the brightest parts of my day/week are when I get to share happiness with others. Sometimes, they tell or show me something that made them happy, and sometimes I tell or show them something that made me happy. Either way, we get to share some happiness with each other, and we're both happier as a result.

Naturally, it's possible (and common) to do the opposite. We grumble. We complain. We talk about our problems. And yes, it's important to discuss problems as a necessary step to finding and honing our solutions. But we should share happiness, too. And I dare say that we should share happiness more frequently than we share misery.

So, that's something I'm going to work on. I'm going to try to share happiness with others in hopes that they;ll have more happiness to both enjoy and share in turn. Perhaps they'll reciprocate, but even if they don't, I want to experience and share happiness more than misery. I'm going to look for ways to find happiness, and then I'm going to share them.

The Most Important Rule(s)

There are many rules, probably too many to keep track of them all, and sometimes they come into conflict with one another. When obedience to two or more rules becomes mutually exclusive, it's most important to obey the most important rule. For example, I'm supposed to blog every day, before midnight, but something more important came up, so my blog got put on the back burner. I suppose, then, that it's important to know what the most important law(s) is/are. Fortunately, Jesus Christ was very clear on that front. 

Jesus said unto him, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind. This is the first and great commandment. And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself. - Matthew 22:37-39

Basically, love God and love your neighbors. Everything else is secondary. As long as we continue following those first and greatest two commandments, we're obeying the most important rules. So, whenever there's a conflict, we can always fall back of those core principles and know that our morals are in the right place.

Planning Around Family

I spent some of the afternoon trying to plan out the next few weeks worth of assignments and responsibilities, and the first items that went on the schedule were multiple days of spending time with family. It's important to make time for important things first, and few things are more important than family. Of course, there are other things that need doing, and I scheduled time for those things, but I'm working around my family time as much as possible. The holidays are a time for family, so when I scheduled how I'm spending my time these next few weeks, I accounted for family time first.

The Hero Who Didn't Fight

Near the end of Marvel's Eternals, one of the main characters willingly withdraws from the central conflict of the film, because while he has strong beliefs about the conflict, he admits to being unwilling to kill others for his beliefs. This can be viewed as a form of cowardice, but I think that this is a valid stance to take. 

My personal philosophy is "Live and Let Live," so unless lives are being threatened in a way that is clearly morally egregious, I don't think I'd be willing to risk anyone's lives to step in. As I said back when I blogged about Quasimodo's Cries, I can't judge those who are forced to make a decision in any Trolley Problem-esque moral quandary. So, if some people want to flip the switch, and other people want to stop them, I can't confidently say that I'd pick a side and join the fight, either. 

Frankly, I can relate to the character who chose to abstain from the conflict, and if I were in their shoes, I think I might have made the same choice. I can hope I'd have the courage to kill someone to save others' lives, but unless lives are already on the line, I don't think I'd fight anyone over a difference of beliefs.

Warmth

As Summer turns to Fall, and Fall turns to Winter, the weather gets colder, but we can still feel warm. Granted, that's mostly because of warm clothing, heaters, and decent insulation, but it's also because of the people I care about and the time I get to spend with them. Spending time with loved ones can warm the heart, no matter how cold it is outside. So, while we all try to stay out of the cold as much as possible (or play in the snow, for the people who enjoy that), let's also be sure to spend time with those who make us feel warm.

On Not Killing Everyone

SPOILERS FOR MARVEL'S ETERNALS!

They're trying to save the world.

Of course, that's particularly new to the realm of superhero fiction, but what's (relatively) unique is what they're saving the world from: the birth of a god (or, more accurately, a "Celestial"). Apparently, in this Marvel universe, a Celestial named Arishem planted a "Celestial Seed" into the Earth (possibly having created the Earth first) so that the Earth could serve as a womb/cocoon/egg for the planted Celestial (named Tiamat) until it was ready to emerge. When the Eternals learn of Tiamat's pending emergence, some of them try to figure out how to stop the emergence, because the emergence of Tiamat would result in the destruction of the planet. Yet, Tiamat's emergence would also result in the birth of a Celestial, who would, following the pattern, go on to create more worlds and more life (which would then probably also end with the births of Celestials). Some of the Eternals argue that they shouldn't interfere with Tiamat's emergence, Earth's destruction, and the creation of other worlds. It's the classic Trolley Problem, but with entire worlds on the line, instead of individual people, and the many worlds for which the one world would be sacrificed haven't been created yet.

It's a surprisingly interesting moral question to grapple with (or gloss over, in the case of the film itself). Should one person (or world) be allowed to die so that others could live? On the surface, it's simple moral mathematics. Two lives (let alone many) are better than one. Then again, we're talking about the future. A bird in the hand is worth two (or many?) in the bush. It's also worth noting that we know nothing of the nature of Marvel's Tiamat (at least, not based on the knowledge that I picked up in the film). Perhaps Tiamat would create countless utopian worlds and not destroy them. Or perhaps they would destroy and/or terrorize worlds that already exist. Tiamat's nature is an important, but unknown factor in whatever moral equation we may try to calculate.

Yet, of course, morality is never so simple as punching the numbers. It's one thing to say that two lives carry more moral weight than one, but it's another thing entirely to be willing to kill one innocent person in order to save two others. I don't know if I could do it. It may or may not be the right thing to do, but I don't know if I'd have it in me to do it. I blogged about this years ago, talking about the gypsies in The Hunchback of Notre Dame needing to quiet an infant Quasimodo in order to avoid capture by torturers. I didn't know how I'd handle such a situation then, and I don't know now. I believe, on paper, that killing one person to save multiple others is, at least in a Utilitarian sense, the right thing to do, but I don't know if I could, in practice, bring myself to do it.

But Utilitarianism isn't the only moral code to consider. There's another, highly weighted moral rule with few exceptions: Thou Shalt Not Kill. That seems fairly clear to me. Yet, couldn't it be argued that to not save a life you could have saved is a sin of omission? Is it worse to murder one person or to fail to save two? I don't know. As before, I think that only God can judge cases such as these, and so I ultimately leave all judgment up to Him.

I don't know whether the Eternals were right to try to save the world, and I don't know if it's good that they succeeded. I'm mostly just glad that I'm not the one who has to judge difficult moral cases like these.

On Not Killing "Monsters"

Tonight, my D&D character let some traditionally "monstrous" and "evil" creatures live. One of them was a lizardfolk who made no attempt to harm us, and the other was a necromancer who only cast a harmful spell to help him cover his escape when he was attacked. Neither of them was observed doing anything evil, but both admitted to serving a black dragon, which are almost always evil. Granted, the same can be said of normal lizardfolk are necromancers. Lizardfolk are typically evil because they eat people, and necromancers are typically evil because they use dark magic and undeath. Yet, I saw no evidence that either of these "monstrous" individuals had ever harmed anyone. So, my character chose not to harm them.

Granted, this may come back to bite them. We will encounter the black dragon at some point, and when we do, that conversation may not end well. If we end up fighting the black dragon, we may end up fighting the dragon's allies. The necromancer, at least, is probably going to show up again, probably as an attacker, probably with some undead allies. But I suppose we'll have to cross that bridge when we get there. So far, my character has judge people by their actions, not their race or profession, and I prefer it that way. My character will fight anyone who attacks her, her allies, or any other innocent person, but if they're leaving others alone, she'll likely leave them alone, too. Unless people cause harm, they shouldn't receive harm, either, no matter who or what they are.

Importance

I recently wrote an essay about importance and about how art portrays certain things, people, places, and ideas as important. But I'm not sure there is an objective measurement of "importance." In fact I think that things are only important if they're important to someone.

For example, Rocket League isn't important. It's a computer game where rocket-powered cars play soccer. It's a simple game with a silly premise. It's also an E-Sport. There are tournaments. There's prize money. There are sponsorship deals. There are dozens, if not hundreds, of professional Rocket League players. And because it's their main source of income, Rocket League is very important to them.

The same thing could be said for anything that most people consider unimportant. There are people to whom that thing is one of the most important things in the world. Of course, the inverse is also true. There are things that are important to most people, but that aren't important at all to others. Many people consider religion infinitely, eternally important, and other people just don't bother with it. It may not be accurate to say that something is or is not important. I may be more accurate to say that something is more or less important to someone.

But what if that "someone" is God? There are things that God considers important, and He can make those things important to other people, too, assuming they care at all about their eternal destiny. For example, I don't really care about coffee, one way or the other, but it's important to God that I don't drink it, so I don't. Does that make not drinking coffee objectively important? I don't know. Maybe. Our eternal destinies seem pretty important. If God doomed to eternal damnation anyone who ties their shoes the wrong way, then it would suddenly become very important how one ties their shoes.

So, I would guess that importance is subjective, based on what is important to whom, except in the far more consequential case of what is and is not important to God.

People Need Love

People have needs. People need air, food, and water to survive, and they need adequate clothing, shelter, and safety to help them stay alive. But according to a psychologist named Abraham Maslow, once those needs have been met, the most important human need is love. People need love. And perhaps more importantly, they need to feel loved. And once their other needs are met, they are going to seek love, or substitutes for love, wherever they can get it.

Ideally, people would receive and feel love from their own families. That is part of the reason why God created families in the first place, to create a space where we, from infancy, can learn to feel, recognize, and express love.

People can also, hopefully, receive and feel love from God and members of His church. God's love, though sometimes disguised as trials and/or natural phenomena, is all around us, and God teaches His children to love everyone as well.

Between God and families, people should feel showered with an abundance of love.

But sometimes they don't. Sometimes people's families aren't as loving as they could be. Sometimes, God seems distant or nonexistent. Sometimes, people have a hard time recognizing the love that God and their families have for them. At those times, people often feel impelled to seek for love elsewhere.

Sometimes they find love in friendships and communities. Sometimes they form "found families" with close friends and/or people like them. Sometimes, when they don't feel love from family, God, or even friends or communities, they'll look for love in less-likely places. A person who feels desperately short on love may end up searching for any poor imitation of love wherever they can find it.

The sad part is that the ideal source of love is also the default source of love, and people generally only look for love in worse places when they feel that all of the better sources have failed them. By divine design, people are usually born into families, born to two parents who love each other and their children. Ideally, these parents also love God and teach their children how much God loves them. 

Sadly, this doesn't always happen, but we can do our best to make sure it happens in our own families. We can make sure our family members know we love them by expressing love for them in every way we can. We can talk to them, listen to them, care about their problems, offer comfort and (when appropriate) advice. We can give each other gifts and hugs and words of encouragement. We can apologize, and we can forgive. There are many ways to show love for each other, and the most important way to show love is in whatever way our loved ones need.

Similarly, we can try to recognize and share evidence of God's love for all His children.

This is important, because people need love. People need to both be and feel loved. And if the people we love don't feel the love we have for them, they will look for love elsewhere. If that happens, then, whether they ultimately find love or not, they won't have gotten it from us.

My Own Sacred Grove

Earlier today, in the Primary Presentation, the children sang a song that I had never heard before, and it had a strong effect on me. The song is titled "I Will Find My Own Sacred Grove," and it, naturally, starts with a short summary of the story of the First Vision, but then it goes on to explain how we need prayer, too.

So many choices with so much at stake.

Life's full of pathways, but which should I take?

If I lift up in prayer in the name of the Son,

Through the pow'r of the Holy Ghost, answers will come.

Heavenly Father is there,

Ready to answer my prayer.

I think that this is an important lesson. God has a plan for everyone, and the details of that plan are different for each person. The only way to really know what path God wants you to follow is to ask Him.

I would like to have my own Sacred Grove experience. I would like to know, for myself, what path God wants me to follow. Sure, I could simply follow the path laid out before me, and I'd probably do well enough for myself, just as Joseph Smith could have just joined whichever church seemed best to him and done well enough, at least for his own soul. But God had directions for Joseph Smith that couldn't have come from any church or church leader at the time. Joseph Smith needed to get those directions from God directly. I'd like to know if God has any such directions for me. And if not, I'd like to know that, too. I'd like to know, directly from God, which path He'd like me to follow.

Each person should seek a personal testimony and personal revelation. There is guidance that comes from God that can only come directly from God, and I would like to receive it. 

I will find my own Sacred Grove,

Away from all of the noise of the world.

I will turn to prayer,

For I know He's there.

I will find my own Sacred Grove.

How Important is the Earth?

It's interesting how one's perspective on death and the end of the world can change a person's opinion on the best course of action. Naturally, if one believes that there is no afterlife and that this life is all they get, then they won't spend much time storing up "treasures in heaven," because they believe that no such place exists. Similarly, if a person believes that the soul is eternal and mortality is temporary, they might not bother building up their life in mortality because they believe mortality isn't going to last.

By the same token, if a person doesn't believe in the Second Coming, Rapture, or any other God-induced end of the world, they may be more likely to try to sustain the planet almost indefinitely, believing that the world is only going to end if we let it. In contrast, if a person assumes that the Second Coming and subsequent Millennium are likely to happen any day now, they may not worry so much about the sustainability of the planet, since God is going to remake the planet soon anyway.

Shifting one's perspective shifts one's priorities, either to a present that may not matter or to a future that may not exist. All of this begs the question: How important is life on Earth? For some people, Earth is everything. For others, Earth is just a temporary stepping stone on their way to a better place. 

My opinion, as usual, lies somewhere between the extremes. We should not neglect heaven, but we shouldn't neglect Earth either. Yes, the Second Coming is coming, but we have no idea when. Just to be on the safe side, we should try to maintain the planet as though we don't expect the Savior to return for a very long time, because He might not. At the same time, we shouldn't live only for the mortal present because there is an eternal future, and we would do well to prepare for that.

So, for my answer, we should take care of this world and also prepare to pass on to the next one. Earth is important, but it isn't everything.

I Like My Job

I like my job. I like helping people with their essays. I like teaching them cool formatting tricks. I like sharing my opinions with like-minded individuals, considering new ideas I hadn't considered before, and playing devil's advocate for the sake of (helping people support their) argument. It's fun. Even today, when the work wasn't as fun or as satisfying as most days, I still like my job because I still like helping people with their essays. I'm a writing tutor, and I enjoy tutoring.

Facts and Judgment

There's a fairly high-profile case going on right now, and there are certain facts of the case that can lead to different conclusions based on which facts are included or excluded from the narrative and how those facts are interpreted. Additionally, there are potentially relevant facts that are presently unknown to me, which might change my current feelings about the trial and about the person on it. Therefore, I will reserve judgment until I know more about the situation or am forced to pass some amount of judgment prematurely. I believe that people shouldn't judge others without all the relevant facts, and since we don't know all the facts about anything, it's probably best not to judge.

Yet, there are times when judgment is necessary. In such cases, we should obtain as much knowledge and information as we can and base our judgment on whatever info and knowledge we have, hoping that it's enough to bring us to sound conclusions. It won't be a perfect judgment, since our knowledge is imperfect, but it'll be the best we can do.

When we must judge others, we should base our judgment on whatever knowledge we have and can gain, but outside of those cases, it's probably best to not judge at all.

Communication

As I played D&D tonight and talked about a show with a friend earlier today, it struck me how important communication is. People need to be able to talk with each other, and people need to be willing to listen to each other, or cooperation between them becomes extremely difficult. The characters in the show my friend and I were talking about barely communicate at all, and that lack of communication leads to some unnecessary conflict. In contrast, our characters in the D&D game communicated fairly well, and I believe that that led, and will continue to lead, to some good cooperation between that characters.

Similarly, we need to be able to communicate, both to talk and to listen, or we will experience more conflict than cooperation. I believe that people can learn to get along and work together, but only if all parties involved are willing to communicate.

Difficulty Settings

Many video games have difficulty settings, allowing you to choose how difficult the game is. If you want to challenge yourself, as I sometimes do, you can select harder difficulties to test and challenge your skill at playing the game. Or, if you don't want a challenge, you can select the easier modes and more easily explore the game world and enjoy the story, without having to hone your button-pressing skills.

Life doesn't really have that. It seems that life is easier for some people and harder for others through no fault or choice of their own. Granted, there are choices we can make to make life harder or easier for ourselves going forward, but we can't choose the difficulty we start with, and life sometimes changes the difficulty on us for reasons completely outside our control.

Perhaps, instead of bemoaning the lack of choice we have over the difficulty of life, we should acknowledge that everyone has their own set of difficulties and that those difficulties are meant to help us grow. When life gets hard, God doesn't want us to sulk or wish that life was easier; He wants us to become wiser, stronger, and better people.

So, while I plan to continue to enjoy the optional ease and difficulty of games, I'll try to remember that, while life can be game-like in some ways, that doesn't mean that we're the ones who get to adjust the settings. Some games don't have difficulty settings anyway. Rather, I should try to accept life and get good at playing it as it is, no matter what the difficulty settings are set to.

Intrinsic and Extrinsic Motivations

We're currently learning about motivation in my Business class, and one of the topics we covered is Intrinsic and Extrinsic Motivators. Extrinsic motivators are motivating factors from outside the self. For example, if you do the work just to cash the paycheck or to be told you did a good job, that's an extrinsic motivation. However, if you're doing the work because you want to, you enjoy it, or you find personal satisfaction in seeing to it that the job gets done, that's an intrinsic motivation, a motivation that comes from inside the self.

So far, religiously, I've been seeking extrinsic motivation. I've been in it for the blessings, for God's approval, and for the finish line at the end. But extrinsic motivations aren't always the strongest or the most sustaining. Lately, I've been finding intrinsic motivations, like personal satisfaction and inner peace (plus a little bit of extrinsic validation from others). I'm a lot happier this way. I don't have to feel cheated if God's blessings are "blessings in disguise" or IOUs for future blessings, when I'm really just making good choices for personal reasons, and any blessings I get out of it are icing on the cake. Granted, some approval and validation from others are nice, but what really matters is whether I approve of myself. If I'm satisfied with my decisions, then I'm satisfied, and I don't need extrinsic blessings to help me sustain my motivation.

When I relied on blessings to motivate me, I would sometimes get upset if those blessings didn't come in the form or at the time I wanted them to, but now that I'm relying on my personal motivations, it no longer matters to me how, when, or even if those blessings come. Extrinsic blessings are nice, and I'll take them, so long as God's offering, but my intrinsic motivations have proven to be more effective at keeping me going.

"Wherever You Are"

When Mom and I were choosing where to sit at church this afternoon, we were about to be temporarily separated, so Mom would have to pick out a spot for us. She asked me where I would like to sit, and I, not having much of a preference, said "Wherever you are."

As I thought about it, I think that that answer might have held true, even if I did have a preference. For example, if I had wanted to sit near the back, but Mom sat in the front, I think I would have chosen to sit in the front with her, rather than in the back, where I would otherwise prefer to be. People sometimes prefer to be where the people they love are, even if they wouldn't normally prefer to be in that place. For another example, Mom loves the Pacific Northwest, but she would never move there so long as so much of our family lives here. No matter how much she would prefer to live in the Pacific Northwest, her stronger preference is to live near family.

This principle can hold true in the figurative sense as well. We'd rather live in comfort than in discomfort, generally, but it's often preferable to go through discomfort together with someone you love than to be comfortable but alone. That's not the best example for me, because I really like comfort and I often like being alone, but even I can see the fun and camaraderie of going through difficulty together with the right person. And if a friend of mine were going through a hard time, I'd rather go through it with them than stay comfortable while they go through it alone. Even an introvert like me can see that it's sometimes better to be with other people, even if the other circumstances are less than the best.

Maybe that's part of what makes heaven so good. It's already a decent place, and we get to be there together. But even if heaven wasn't so great, being there with the right person or people would be enough to make it heavenly.

Growing Hope

This evening, I went for a walk, and on this walk, I passed a small tree. This tree was planted in a spot where another small tree had been, but a fierce storm had taken down the first small tree, which was then replaced with the second small tree. This tree, even more so than other small trees, gives me hope for the future.

Planting any tree is an expression of hope in the future. Trees take a long time to grow, so it only makes sense to plant a tree if you expect it to be there for a long time. Yet, that's not what happened to the small tree that used to be in that spot. It was planted with hope for the future, but its future was cut short. Yet, another tree was planted there, expressing a renewed and continuing hope in the future. We acknowledge the tragedies of the past and the possibility that they may happen again, But we also continue to have hope that a tree will live long enough to grow strong enough to withstand the storms of life.

The world is filled with trees that grew strong enough to withstand storms. We just need to have enough faith and hope in the future to keep planting and replanting them.

Focusing on the Future

One of the students I've tutored today talked about his journaling habits. Previously, he had journaled about the past. At the end of the day or week, he would write about what had happened and how he felt about it. This prompted me to tell him that, when I journaled, I wrote mostly about the present, focusing on what had just happened and/or what would happen that day or in the very near future. But the student told me that, lately, he has started journaling about the more distant future, recording his hopes and dreams as well as his plans and goals.

This seemed, to both of us, to be a good idea. Thinking ahead like that can help someone develop a plan that can inform their actions in the present. If one takes the right actions, they can lead themselves toward almost any future they want, which is something one can't do when they focus only on the present or the past. Perhaps I should learn to look father ahead and try to figure out where I want to go and how I'm going to get there. I need to learn to focus on the future, because if I don't, who knows where my future will take me?

Earning Points

Two days ago, I blogged about how I prefer games' challenges over life's challenges, but two weeks ago, I blogged about how life and its challenges can be viewed as some kind of game. So I wonder, how can I "gamify" life to make its challenges more fun to face?

The concept of "gamification" already exists, and it's accomplished mostly through applying point scores and win conditions to various tasks and challenges. By performing tasks well, the "players" earn "points," which can eventually lead to rewards, either real or imaginary. All I really have to do to "gamify" life is to give myself "points" for doing things well. I don't even have to figure out exactly how many points I earn, so long as better performance leads to more points and worse performance leads to fewer points. Granted, I will always get at least a few points for trying.

I gamified my life tonight by challenging myself to fit as many dishes as possible into the dishwasher efficiently, and I scored a great deal of points by managing to fit in every item except for the two biggest, which I washed by hand.

I wonder if "earning points" is really going to be enough to get me to start enjoying life's challenges. I suppose the only way to find out is to try it out for a while and see how it goes.

No Need for Eternal Rest

As much as I'm looking forward to some find of eternal rest, it occurs to me that I might not need it. Right now, I crazy tired, and I want to go to bed, but in the next life, I won't get tired, at least not physically, and maybe not mentally, either. Eternal progression sounds exhausting, but my eternal self won't be able to get exhausted. So, while my mortal self sees the appeal in resting in peace, I might not feel the same way about it when I move on to actually doing it.

Challenges

You know, it's funny. In real life, I like things to be easy. I like consistently doing well on tests, exams, and writing assignments. I like getting my work done without too much trouble. I like having my tasks be simple and straightforward. In real life, I don't like challenges much at all. But in games, it's a different story. In games, I enjoy an occasional challenge. And if a game is too easy, I sometimes make up extra rules and handicaps to challenge myself more. I wonder why that is. I wonder why I enjoy challenges in games, but not in real life.

One reason might be the lower stakes. If you lose a game, it's no big deal. None of it was real anyway. The failure doesn't matter. It's like losing your balance on a tightrope and falling into a net. Real life doesn't have many safety nets, and even when there are, there are consequences for falling into them. When things go wrong in real life, bad things happen, and there is real-world suffering as a result.

Another possible reason is that failure in games doesn't feel personal. Often, in games, the player is controlling a character, who is the one who succeeds or fails. If Mia fails a Stealth check or a Medicine check, that's not because I'm not stealthy enough, wasn't careful enough, or didn't spend enough time studying medicine. It's because Mia's skill modifiers (and her luck, as revealed by dice rolls) were too low. Also, in games, it's easier to acknowledge the role of luck, rather than skill (or the lack thereof), blessings, or curses. If the dice are against me, I can blame the inanimate dice. If fate (as controlled by God) is against me... I'd rather not think about that possibility.

Another reasons to prefer a game's challenges over real-world challenges is that game's challenges are meant to be overcome. Players are supposed to win games. The games are supposed to be beatable. That's not always true in real life. Some of life's challenges are obstacles to be overcome, but others are afflictions to be endured, and it can be painful and frustrating to confuse the two. Trying to "solve" an affliction will get one nowhere and only waste their time and energy, and merely "enduring" an obstacle leads to the perpetuation of needless suffering. Hence, the Serenity prayer asks for the Wisdom to know what can be changed and what can't.

All in all, games' challenges are greatly preferable to life's challenges. Games' challenges are easier, less important, and less personal than life's challenges. Yet, life has plenty of challenges, whether we want them or not. Maybe I can try to worry less about the stakes of failure and stop taking it so personally when I fail. Maybe then I can chill out about life's challenges and learn to enjoy them almost as much as the challenges in games.

Ordinances for the Dead

Tonight, for family scripture study, we read a few sections in the Doctrine and Covenants that made reference to baptisms for the dead, and we talked about what a unique and uplifting doctrine that is. We, like other Christian churches, know that saving ordinances are essential, but we, unlike other Christian churches, know that one's mortal life isn't one's only chance to get them. Those who die without being baptized, endowed, or sealed can still be baptized, endowed, and sealed to their families, if those ordinances are performed for them in the temple. This way, through temple work, everyone can have a chance to be saved in the kingdom of God.

I'm grateful that God gives everyone a fair chance to choose eternal life and exaltation. It would truly be terrible if those who died before baptism were damned for eternity. I'm glad that God's plan is more forgiving than that. I'm glad that everyone can get the essential, saving, and exalting ordinances, even those who couldn't get them in this life.

Born Good

I was reminded this morning of a truth that I've known basically my whole life: people are born good. All people who are born on this earth are born with a tendency toward good, for two main reasons. 

The first reason people are born good is that people are born with an influence called the Light of Christ. Commonly known as a conscience, this influence helps us recognize right from wrong and helps us know to choose good. 

The second reason people are born good is because people had a chance to choose good before they were born. There was a war in the premortal world, and those who are born on earth are those who sided with God in that war, whereas those who sided with Satan will never be born. 

Thus, everyone who is born on earth has a conscience and already has premortal experience following it. That's why people are born with an innate tendency toward good. People are born with goodness inside of them, and they were born because they have already chosen to act on it.

Making Room for Introverts

Tonight, I went to my Ward's Halloween Party, but being the introvert that I am, I spent much of that time alone. I helped set up for the party, then snuck off to a quiet room to do homework. When I was satisfied with my homework, I rejoined the party, which was now well underway, ate some refreshments, admired the decorations, and then helped clean up. I didn't mingle much. In fact, I deliberately avoided small talk twice before the evening was done. And, because of this, I actually had a fairly enjoyable evening.

Naturally, behaving so reclusively runs counter to the entire point of a social gathering, and I almost feel bad about rebuffing the people who tried to chat with me and invited me to join their table. But the fact is, I was happier on my own. If they were offering me fellowship, then my answer was No, thank you. Or, if they were seeking fellowship, I'm sure there were many other people at the party who were willing to provide it. I'm not not one of those people.

Some people are extroverts. They love small talk and thrive at parties. They crave social connection and form fast friendships. I'm not one of those people. I'm an introvert, and I know it. And tonight, I was confident enough to satisfy my introversion rather than forcing myself to socialize with everyone I met at that party. Tonight, I kept quiet, spent most of the time in quiet spaces, and interacted with others only as much as I wanted to, and because of that, I enjoyed the party far more than I had expected to. Before the party, I had considered not going, but now I'm glad I did.

I'm sure I'm not the only introvert in the Ward. I'm sure there are many people who don't go to church parties, and might not go to church at all, mainly because they don't want to be forced to interact with people. My opinion is that, if people don't want to visit or chat with other people, we shouldn't make them. We should instead make room for introverts, let them approach at their own pace and/or maintain a comfortable distance. People shouldn't be crowded out of the church for just wanting to sit and listen. I worry that the church focuses too much on "reaching out" and "encouraging participation," forgetting that there are many people who would rather not interact in that way.

Of course, I'll keep coming, I'll keep smiling, I'll keep exchanging meaningless pleasantries, and I'll keep sharing my thoughts when I feel that I have thoughts worth sharing. But I'd rather do this at my own pace than feel socially compelled to converse with every extrovert who strikes up a conversation with me. Generally speaking, conversations should be consensual, on the parts of all parties involved. And insofar as there are parties involved, we should make sure there's room for introverts at them, lest they may not come as all.

Vicarious Service

I just learned about an enormous charity project, one even bigger than the TeamTrees project of late 2019, wherein MrBeast raised over $20 Million to plant over 20 Million trees. Now MrBeast is raising $30 Million to remove 30 Million pounds of trash from the ocean, and I just have to say that I really love the idea of these projects and what they mean for the world. And you know what? I think Christ love it too.

Granted, during His mortal life, Jesus Christ focused more on helping people than on saving the planet, but before it, He created this planet, and I think He would want us to save and protect it (besides, the planet probably didn't need saving back then).

I also briefly doubted the value of donating money to a charity project instead of helping the project more directly. Not many problems are solved just by throwing money at them, and it seems far more moral to do something good than to pay someone else to do it. Still, I'm comforted by the thought of Jesus commanding the rich young ruler to donate money to the power and by the thought of our own Fast Offerings. Naturally, volunteer work is valuable, but money is, too. And while donating money may not feel as meaningful to me as serving directly does, it still does good. That money goes toward supporting the people and projects who do the service, so donating money is kinda like serving vicariously.

So, I'm going to donate money to MrBeast's TeamSeas charity drive, and I hope you do, too. It's good to do service, and I believe that doing vicarious service by donating money to worthy causes is good, too.

"Find New Roads"

I occasionally see a Chevy commercial that encourages the viewer to "Find New Roads," but, setting aside the obvious meaning of that we should go out and find roads that are new to us, this advice is practically impossible to follow. New roads aren't "found;" they're made. If we want to "find" a new road, we have to make it. Of course, this may also be also be what Chevy meant. Maybe they intend for us to be such trailblazers that we discover new ways of doing things, ways that are so good that other people start following our example. We are to find/discover new roads.

Whatever Chevy meant, doing almost anything of value will take a certain amount of effort on our part. Maybe that means blazing new trails and making new roads, or maybe it's best to keep following the old roads that still work just fine. Maybe you'll need to repair some roads or search through hundreds of known, existing roads until you find the ones that will take you where you want to go. We're all going down roads in life, whether we're blazing new trails or following other peoples'. What's really important is to decide where we're going in life, figure out how to get there from where we are now, and find, make, or follow whatever roads will get us there.

Planning (Too Far) Ahead

I believe that it is generally important to plan ahead. That's why I maintain a rotating To Do list, listing what I need to do on or by certain days and taking each day as it comes, always looking a short way ahead to see what's coming up next. Yet, it occurs to me that the extent to which one can plan ahead depends on a lot of factors, including some unknown and unknowable factors.

No one can predict the future. No one had Covid-19 scheduled in their plans for 2020. Unforeseen events can mess with one's plans, and the further one plans ahead, the more likely it is that unexpected events will interfere with those plans. Granted, you can schedule in some resiliency, such as by setting aside more time for a task than you think the task will take, in case something goes wrong and the task takes longer than expected. And one can adjust their plans as needed as they go. But I'm not sure how much value there is in making plans that you know are going to have to change later anyway.

There are also personal limitations to consider. Sometimes, people just don't have the time or energy to plan too far ahead. My rotating To Do list, for example, rarely goes beyond a few weeks. Planning too far ahead can, in some cases, lead to anxiety about tasks that, realistically, can't be addressed yet and aren't even issues yet. It depends mostly on a person's frame of mind. If you can look at a distant future task and not worry about it yet, that's great. If you find that your anxiety is doing more harm to you than the good your plan is doing, it might be better to not plan that far ahead.

In general, it's good to plan ahead. It's usually better to have a plan than to not have one. Yet, our lack of knowledge about the future and our lack of ability to deal with the future can create practical limitations to our ability to plan ahead. Planning ahead is an excellent idea, but it still makes sense to not try to plan too far ahead.

Lies Meant to Protect

When is it okay to lie to children? One simple answer is "never," and that answer is easy to get behind. Even if the lie is harmless, perhaps concerning the nature of those who visit our homes on certain holidays, I think it's best to not spread lies and erode their trust in those who are supposed to be trustworthy.

Yet, I can imagine some circumstances wherein lying, or at least reframing the truth, may be the morally right thing to do. When a tragedy happens, when something happens that would crush a child's spirit, it might be best to lie, or at least to omit important truths, in order to soften the blow. Sometimes, children aren't ready to handle certain truths. A certain level of maturity is necessary to be able to face such truths with grace. That's why I think it might be wise to not tell them the whole truth, at least not until they're ready to hear it.

I wonder if the same is true for us. After all, we are spirit children of our Heavenly Father. We may not be ready to hear all the truths God would like to teach us. But, if that's the case, would God lie to us? Would He be willing to lie to us to protect us from truths we're not ready to hear? I don't know. But I do know that maturity is important, especially for those who want to prove that they're ready to hear the truth.

On Being Flexible

Remember a few days ago, when I blogged about Building Character and how we can, within certain limits, make ourselves however we want to be? Well, those limitations might be more limiting than I let on. I spoke about being able to develop certain skills and abilities, and I stand by that, to a certain extent. We can become proficient in almost any skill we practice. However, I neglected to consider how our Ability Scores and other mostly immutable traits can limit our ability to do certain things well. A paraplegic, for example, can possess great Strength and proficiency in Athletics, but that won't help them run a marathon well, unless they're allowed to "run" it in a wheelchair. There are times when we, like Mike in Monsters University, need to recognize that there are certain limitations that no amount of skill or practice could overcome. Yet, we can often find ways around them.

I'm currently creating a D&D character named Mialee Yaeldrin, the daughter of Erevan Yaeldrin, a character I ran in a previous game. Mialee wasn't born with the natural talent that her father had, so she can't follow the same path of heroism he did. Nor does she have the strength to wield most weapons or wear heavy armor, so she can't pursue heroism the same way normal, non-magical people do, either. Instead, her talents lie elsewhere, allowing her to tap into a different kind of magic and become a different kind of hero. She can still be a hero; she just needed to find a path to heroism that played to her strengths and circumvented her weaknesses.

We often need to do something similar. We often hit certain limits or weaknesses, and we need to find clever ways to get around them. We can still pursue the same goals, but our pursuit of those goals may take a different form than we might expect. A person who is unable to learn the piano can still become a musician by practicing a different instrument. A monster who isn't scary can still be part of the scaring industry by teaching other monsters how to be scarier. And a character who cannot become a Paladin / Celestial Warlock / Divine Soul Sorcerer can still be practice heroism by becoming a Cleric.

There are limits to what we can and can't do, but if we're clever enough and flexible enough, we can often find other ways around them.

Hope for the Best, Plan for Everything

I think there's a certain amount of Wisdom in hoping for the best and planning for the worst. Yet, it makes sense to plan for the best, too. It would be unfortunate if you got a lucky outcome, but didn't have a plan in place to take full advantage of your good luck. So, I think it makes sense to have multiple plans, covering a range of potential outcomes. When it's viable to make so many different plans, it's good to have a plan for whatever may happen, be it the worst possible outcome, the best, or anything in between.

Building Character

When you make a character in D&D, you can decide almost everything about them. You choose their ancestry, background, class, skills, abilities, height, weight, appearance, personality traits, ideals, bonds, and flaws. And that's just the stuff I could think of off the top of my head.

In our own lives, we don't have quite that much control over who we are, but we do have more control over ourselves than we might think. We can't choose our ancestry, background, or starting class, but we can increase our skills and abilities and perhaps even our class. We can't choose our height, but we have some control over our weight. And we can't control everything about our appearance, but there are some aspects of our appearance we can control, depending on how much time, energy, and money we put into looking that way.

But the one area in which we have most control is our "personal characteristics," meaning our personality traits, ideals, bonds, and flaws. Through effort, we can change and control our personality traits. We can choose what ideals we uphold. We can form bonds with the people and places we choose to be close to. And while we can't choose what flaws we start off with, we can learn to overcome them and carefully prevent ourselves from developing new ones.

Through careful and diligent effort, we can control a lot about ourselves, and we can make ourselves into more or less whatever kinds of people we really want to be. We can't choose much, if anything, about how we start, but we can choose how we build our character from there.

Support Through a Stressful Evening

Tonight was a rough night. I felt stressed about all the things I had to do, couldn't do, and shouldn't do. I came rather close to making decisions I would have regretted later. But I made it through. I managed to get through the evening mostly through the help of my brother and my best friend. They helped me in ways that I don't think anyone else could have. With their help, I managed to be strong enough to endure the stress of the evening without breaking anything, over-eating, or making any other regrettable decisions. I'm proud of myself, and I'm grateful to Joe and Nick for being there for me. I needed them tonight, and they helped me. I hope that I can be just as good a friend and brother to them as they are to me.

"I Love This Game"

Almost every time I play D&D, I find myself saying "I love this game." Last night, I not only said it, but also shouted it, at least a handful of times. Of course, one of those times, we weren't even playing D&D anymore.

Yesterday, I stole my friend's debit card. Well, I borrowed it. Without his permission. Or knowledge. ANYHOW, I borrowed it, not so I could use it, but so he couldn't. He was planning on buying me lunch that day, so I took his card, and a swapped it with mine, so when he bought me lunch, he did so with my card, so I actually bought him lunch instead. I'd have bought him that pack of spell cards, too, but he insisted on using his own card once my subterfuge had been discovered. As we were discussing the trick I had played on him, I remarked that "I love this game," meaning, perhaps, the "game" that I had played on him.

Tonight, I said it again, but this time, I was comparing the prices of Oreos. I normally bring Oreos to D&D nights and bring the leftovers home. But it has come to my attention that I eat too much sweets, and I've decided to stop bringing so many leftover Oreos home every week. I knew that there were packs of sleeves of Oreos, so I did a good deal of comparison shopping, and I ultimately found an option that's viable, less unhealthy, and slightly cheaper than what I'm currently doing. In essence, I played a numbers game, and I said I loved that game.

Turns out, life is full of games. I play a form of Tetris every time I load the dishwasher. Taking quizzes is like a memory game. Essays are word games. Traveling is an exploration game. Sometimes, our pets get in each others' ways, and I play a game I call "herding cats." Life is full of challenges, but many of those challenges are basically puzzles, and puzzles are a kind of game. Life itself can be a game, if we choose to see it as one.

Personally, I would like to choose to have a positive attitude and see nearly everything as a game. A serious, important game, maybe, but still a fun game. A game I can win. A game I enjoy playing. A game that frequently causes me to grin and say "I love this game."

My Rotating To Do List

When I have upcoming tasks to prepare for, and especially during the school year, I maintain a rotating To Do list. This list extends from the present date down into the near future, usually two or three weeks, marking when assignments are due and when I plan to do them. This list "rotates" because the present date is always advancing, so the To Do list advances with it.

I like this system because it reminds me of my deadlines and helps me evaluate how to spend the intervening time. For example, I was able to spend most of the day with my friends today because I had already done a good deal of work on my upcoming assignments, and I know that I have a decent amount of time set aside over the next few days to finish them off. I knew I could afford some leisure time today because I've already figured out what I need to do and when I'm going to do it.

I think it's important to give a proper amount of attention to the past, the present, the near future, and the distant future. My rotating To Do list helps me focus on what I'm doing now, tomorrow, and over the next few weeks. It doesn't extend far into the future, and it doesn't extend at all into the past, but it helps me organize my time when I need that organization the most.

Retaining Experience

Tonight, during our family scripture study, we read D&C Section 122, including the evocative descriptions of all the bad things that could happen to Joseph Smith in verses 5-7. However, this list famously ends with the somewhat comforting words "all these things shall give thee experience, and shall be for thy good."

I recently ended a D&D campaign, and all of the characters in that campaign chose to retire and to return home (or set up a tavern in what was once the villain's lair), all except for one. One of the characters was chosen to carry on into the next campaign with all their levels, treasure, and magic items. Essentially, this character is carrying all of the EXP and rewards he has gained from one world into the next.

We do the same thing when we pass on. When we go on into the next world, we carry with us all the wisdom we've gained, all the lessons we've learned, all the intelligence we've accumulated. Essentially, we bring all the experiences we've had in life with us.

Granted, not all of those experiences will have been pleasant. Life involves plenty of unpleasant experiences, like those listed in D&C 122:5-7, but all of those experiences can make us wiser, stronger, better people. Essentially, they can make us more like God.

If we allow ourselves to learn from our experiences, and use them to make ourselves better people, we can find ourselves becoming grateful for all our experiences, even the unpleasant ones, and we can be grateful that we get to take them with us when we pass on.

A Dissatisfactory Lack of Effort

I got a decent amount of homework done today, but it wasn't very satisfying. I don't feel like I did my best on that last paper. I kinda rushed it. This... this is an interesting thing to notice about myself. I'm not really upset that I did or might have done poorly, and I'm not worried about what grade I'll get. I'm disappointed because I don't feel like I did as well as I could have. I feel better when I do my best.

The stoics teach that it's unwise to set our value on the outcomes of our actions or of luck. We can't control the outcomes, but we can control our efforts, so making a solid effort should be satisfying enough. The reason I'm dissatisfied right now is because I don't feel like I put in as much of an effort as I could have. If I had put in a worthy effort, I think that would be satisfying, regardless of whether I felt excited or nervous (or nothing) about the coming grade.

I would like to feel satisfied. I'd like to feel proud of myself. I'd like to feel that I had done well. In order to do that, I will need to put in greater effort.

Controlling the Genre

I recently saw a Facebook post talking about what we can and can't control in our lives. Our lives are like a movie, where we control (some aspects of) the main character, and precious little else. We can't control the rest of the cast or the budget or the overall plot, but according to the Facebook post, we can control the soundtrack by wearing headphones. That's true in a lot of circumstances, but one thing I think the post got wrong is saying that we can't control the genre.

I think that we can control the genre of the story of our lives. Granted, we can't control the events of our lives and how our decisions play out, but we can control our attitude about what happens. If we choose to view the events of our lives as funny, we can make our lives comedies. If we choose to view events as terrible, we can make them tragedies. Our lives may involve action we don't want, but that doesn't automatically make our lives action films. Yet, if we want our lives to be action films, we can add action to just about anything, at least in our imaginations. For those with enough imagination and the right attitude, we can make our lives fit whatever genre we want for it.

So, we can control the actions of the main character, we can control the soundtrack that plays in our headphones or our heads, and we can control the genre by controlling how we view the events of the film. There are certain times when it feels like we have no control of our lives, like we're strapped to a chair, watching our lives play out before us like a film. But there are a few things that we can always control, and our attitude is one of them. We can't always choose what happens, but we can choose our emotional response to what happens, and that's what allows us to control the genre of our lives.