Making Room for Introverts

Tonight, I went to my Ward's Halloween Party, but being the introvert that I am, I spent much of that time alone. I helped set up for the party, then snuck off to a quiet room to do homework. When I was satisfied with my homework, I rejoined the party, which was now well underway, ate some refreshments, admired the decorations, and then helped clean up. I didn't mingle much. In fact, I deliberately avoided small talk twice before the evening was done. And, because of this, I actually had a fairly enjoyable evening.

Naturally, behaving so reclusively runs counter to the entire point of a social gathering, and I almost feel bad about rebuffing the people who tried to chat with me and invited me to join their table. But the fact is, I was happier on my own. If they were offering me fellowship, then my answer was No, thank you. Or, if they were seeking fellowship, I'm sure there were many other people at the party who were willing to provide it. I'm not not one of those people.

Some people are extroverts. They love small talk and thrive at parties. They crave social connection and form fast friendships. I'm not one of those people. I'm an introvert, and I know it. And tonight, I was confident enough to satisfy my introversion rather than forcing myself to socialize with everyone I met at that party. Tonight, I kept quiet, spent most of the time in quiet spaces, and interacted with others only as much as I wanted to, and because of that, I enjoyed the party far more than I had expected to. Before the party, I had considered not going, but now I'm glad I did.

I'm sure I'm not the only introvert in the Ward. I'm sure there are many people who don't go to church parties, and might not go to church at all, mainly because they don't want to be forced to interact with people. My opinion is that, if people don't want to visit or chat with other people, we shouldn't make them. We should instead make room for introverts, let them approach at their own pace and/or maintain a comfortable distance. People shouldn't be crowded out of the church for just wanting to sit and listen. I worry that the church focuses too much on "reaching out" and "encouraging participation," forgetting that there are many people who would rather not interact in that way.

Of course, I'll keep coming, I'll keep smiling, I'll keep exchanging meaningless pleasantries, and I'll keep sharing my thoughts when I feel that I have thoughts worth sharing. But I'd rather do this at my own pace than feel socially compelled to converse with every extrovert who strikes up a conversation with me. Generally speaking, conversations should be consensual, on the parts of all parties involved. And insofar as there are parties involved, we should make sure there's room for introverts at them, lest they may not come as all.