Taking Care of Things, Including Oneself

This morning, I cleaned the church building. As usual, I had the help of Brother Monson and my friend Nick, but Nick had an upset stomach, so after a short while of cleaning, he had to excuse himself, sit, and rest. Hours later, I probably should have followed his lead. I've been taking care of things at home lately, mostly including the pets, but I've also been taking the lead in meal prep and making arrangements for family prayer, when the rest of the family is ready. I've been having to do a lot of work, including communcating and coordinating with others, and it's been tiring and stressful. At a certain point today, under the weight of what felt like a significant amount of stress and frustration, I hit my head. That was the last straw. I fell to me knees, let out an audible yell, and was sullen for most of the rest of the day. I was spent. I kept working, because I had to, but I was emotionally spent.

I shouldn't have let that happen. I should have been more careful about managing my energy, saving more of it for emotion regulation. As I was going about, taking care of everything I needed to take care of, I should also have taken better care of myself. Perhaps I should have taken a moment to myself and done something restful and/or reinvigorating. Perhaps I should have taken a shower or a nap or a walk outside by myself. Perhaps I should have prayed. Any of those things could have helped me take better care of myself, and that would have helped me take better care of everything else.

I've been struggling lately. But I think I know what I need to do. Of course, I need to take care of my responsibilities, but I also need to remember that I have a responsibility to myself. And the better I take care of myself, the better I can take care of everything. It's smart to keep one's tools clean, sharp, and in good repair, and I am the only tool I've got. Naturally, I'm going to continue to try to take good care of everything. But at least tomorrow, that "everything" I'm going to try to take care of is going to include "myself."