"His Father's Will"

In Sacrament Meeting yesterday, our Sacrament hymn was hymn 191, Behold the Great Redeemer Die. The hymn focuses on the crucifixion of the Savior, and the third verse ends with the line, "He magnified his Father's will." However, when I sang the verse, I sang it wrong. I sang "He magnified the Father's will" (emphasis added).

The difference between "his" and "the" seems fairly minor. Either way, it's clear which entity the song is referring to. God is our Heavenly Father. The Father, Jesus' Father, is God. Yet, referring to Him as "the" Father makes an important an detrimental change to the tone of the song. Calling Him "the" Father is an acknowledgement of God's title, whereas referring to Him as "His" Father is an acknowledgement of God's relationship with Jesus.

Yet, even then, it feels to me like something's missing. God isn't just Jesus' Father; He's our Father, too. We have nearly the same relationship with God as Jesus does. He is as much our Father as He is Christ's, in every way except for one. Apart from not being our literal, physical, biological Father, God is our Father in every way that matters. By calling God "his," Jesus' Father, we emphasize Jesus' relationship with the Father, but we may potentially be deemphasizing our relationship with Him.

None of these words are the wrong word to use. God is The Father and Jesus' Father and ours. When singing about the crucifixion, it makes sense to remember that Jesus' relationship with God was and is special and personal. And at all other times, it's also important to remember that our relationship with God is special and personal as well.

Stress and Heart Health and Tips to Manage Stress

I haven't blogged much this month. In fact, after my "final" blog post on February 3rd, I hadn't planned on blogging again for the rest of the month. But some work I did for my Nutrition class led me to some information that I think would be of benefit to many of the people I love, including my future self, so I'd like to share the discussion board post I wrote about what the American Heart Association said about the links between Stress and Heart Health.

1. As I browsed the American Heart Association's website, heart.org, one item that caught my attention was the link between heart disease and Stress.

2. According to the American Heart Association, there are many ways in which stress can negatively affect heart health. The first ways they listed were indirect. Stress contributes to many poor health habits which, in turn, affect the heart. Some people smoke to reduce stress. Some people overeat or eat unhealthy food. Some people suffer through stress that disrupts their lives, leading them to not take their medications as prescribed or to not get enough physical activity or sleep. All of these effects of stress can be factors contributing to poor heart health, especially in combination with each other.

The American Heart Association also indicated how stress can affect heart health more directly. Stress raises blood pressure, which can increase the chance of rupturing arteries, especially those already weakened and constricted with fatty plaque deposits. The ruptured arteries can then clot and potentially clog, leading to heart attack or stroke. When compounded with poor health habits, some of which are encouraged by stress, stress can literally kill you.

Fortunately, the American Heart Association also provides helpful advice for how to reduce chronic stress. This advice includes practicing relaxation techniques and/or a stimulating hobby, getting sufficient exercise and rest, and spending time in nature and/or with family and friends. Unfortunately, much of this advice involves engaging in activities that can be disrupted by stress, which make the stress cycle difficult to break. Yet, framed more positively (another method of reducing stress), doing these activities will reduce our stress and will thus reduce the disruption that makes these activities difficult. The more we exercise, for example, the less stressed we'll be, making it less difficult for us to go and get our exercise. These activities can also be habit-forming, making them easier to maintain once we've managed to get started.

In the meantime, the American Heart Association's "3 Tips to Manage Stress" include their "Top 10 Emergency Stress-Stoppers." It's not the main focus of this discussion board post, but if you occasionally deal with high-stress situations, it might be worth a look. (Link)

Stress can be a vicious cycle, with stress and unhealthy habits contributing to more unhealthiness and more stress. When compounded with unhealthy eating (including stress eating), these bad habit can cause serious health issues, and even death. Fortunately, there are ways to reduce stress and the health issues it causes, and beginning that process can make it easier to continue. So, try to eat healthier, get more exercise, go outside, and do things you love with the ones you love, because those are all ways to live a happier, healthier, and less stressful life.

3. Source: "Stress and Heart Health," American Heart Association. (Link)

Andrew

And, since I don't have to worry about length requirements or plagiarism here, I might as well share what the American Heart Assiciation's "Top 10 Emergency Stress-Stoppers" are, verbatim:

1. Count to 10 before you speak or react.

2. Take a few slow, deep breaths until you feel your body un-clench a bit.

3. Go for a walk, even if it’s just to the restroom and back. It can give you a chance to think things through.

4. Try a quick meditation or prayer to get some perspective.

5. If it’s not urgent, sleep on it and respond tomorrow. This works especially well for stressful emails and social media trolls.

6. Walk away from the situation for a while, and handle it later once things have calmed down.

7. Break down big problems into smaller parts. Take one step at a time.

8. Turn on some chill music or an inspirational podcast to help you deal with road rage.

9. Take a break to pet the dog, hug a loved one or do something to help someone else.

10. Work out or do something active. Exercise is a great antidote for stress.

While I hope that you don't experience too much stress in your life, I know that some of you do, so I hope that this advice, taken from medical professionals, may be of some use to you. I'm sure that some of it will be of use to me. Stress is common and dangerous, especially in today's world, so I'm glad that we have experts who can warn us about such dangers and advise us on how we can overcome them.

What I Thought Was Right

Today, I took a driving test, but it took a turn for the worse for a reason that I didn't expect. I was asked to pull over in a residential area, the kind with rounded curbs. I typically use those curbs to help me align my right tires, to make sure I'm close enough to the sidewalk and not too far out in the street. This, however, was apparently the wrong thing to do. By using the curb as my guide, I "struck the curb," which is categorized as a "Critical Driving Error" and grounds for automatic failure. I did what I thought was right, but it turned out that I was wrong.

But you know what? Live and learn. All we can do is to do the best we can with the knowledge we have. And when we learn more and realize that we had been making mistakes, we try to correct our behavior and do what we think is right, based on the new knowledge we've gained.

We should all try to do what we think is right. I usually do, and for most of my life, I generally have. But we should all also be trying to deepen our understanding of what's right and what's wrong because there are times when what we thought was right turns out to be wrong and in need of correction.

Open Door

About a month ago, I visited another ward. My intention was to visit my sister's ward, but another ward was meeting in the same building at the same time, on the opposite side of the lobby. I ended up going to the other ward instead because, of the two chapels, only the other ward's chapel doors were open.

An open door is an invitation. It tells people that they are welcome to come and go as they please. Sure, on some level, I knew that I was welcome in my sister's ward as well. All I had to do was open the door myself.

And granted, I knew why the door was closed. They were doing their Sacrament. That wouldn't've been a good time to interrupt them. I'm sure there are good reasons to close the doors for a while. But it still left me wondering whether I should go in or go elsewhere, and that's not the kind of message I think we want to send. We want to let people know that our doors are always open, at least metaphorically.

In a song from Frozen, and in one of my favorite songs, there's a line that says that "Love is an open door." I hope the doors of our and God's love stay open so we can go through them, so we can visit each other, and so we can ultimately make our way back to God.

The Bench Business - Why I'll Keep Blogging, Even After I Stop

I have almost completed 10 full years of blogging daily. I started this habit on February 3, 2013, and I'll end it on February 3, 2023. Granted, I may still blog occasionally, when I have a particularly blogworthy thought to share, but I don't intend to hold myself to the commitment of blogging daily.

Yet, without the commitment to blog about something every evening, I can imagine that I'll come to overlook moments that, while not completely blogworthy, are at least blogable and marginally worth sharing. Case in point, I was of some benefit to society this morning. I saw a problem (some business to do with one of the benches at a lightrail station), and while I couldn't solve the problem myself, I could report the problem to those who could solve it. My involvement was rather minor, but had no one reported the problem, it would have remained unreported for who knows how long. Granted, someone else would have reported the problem eventually if I hadn't, but if everyone had that attitude, no one would report such issues, let alone solve them. Sometimes, we need to step up, not because it's our responsibility or because we're especially qualified to step up, but because someone has to, and we just happened to be there when there was a problem to solve.

It was a minor event in my morning. I saw a problem, found a phone number, made a call, and went on my way. I would have completely forgotten about it in days, had I not had the obligation to blog about something.

Yet, that very experience taught me that people don't need to have an obligation in order to step up and do something that may be marginally helpful to someone. I had no obligation to report that issue, but I did it anyway, because it was a small thing I could do to contribute toward solving that problem. Soon, I will have no obligation to blog about anything, but I might anyway, because it's a small thing I can do to share thoughts that might be helpful.

I'll keep the blog bookmark in my browser, and I'll keep the blog tab open on my phone. And every so often, when I have something to blog about and a moment in which to do so, I just might. I won't blog because I have to or because I'm an especially brilliant blogger, but because I will occasionally have thoughts worth sharing, and I worry that they'll be lost forever if I don't.

An Open and Critical Mind

The third chapter of one of my textbooks for this semester ends by extolling the virtue of having an open, yet critical mind. It's important to have a mind that's open to new ideas. Without such open minds, the Restoration could not have happened, and no one could actually investigate, let alone convert to, the church. Yet, we must also think critically. We must use logic and reason, experience and wisdom, honesty and truth. We must evaluate everything we read and hear, to do our part in helping God help us learn what's right and what's wrong.

I am trying to have an open and critical mind. I'm trying to listen to others sincerely and carefully, both to help me understand what they say and mean and to determine the truth of what they say and mean. As I've done so, I've felt the Spirit help me understand things that I wouldn't even have considered otherwise. I'm grateful to have learned truths that I never would have dreamed of,had I not had an open and critical mind.

Philosophical Stepping Stones

The other day, I and dozens of others heard my niece sing a line that I had once described as being so wrong that I could feel the wrongness as I typed it. My niece had the honor of playing Elsa in a junior production of Frozen (with surprisingly sophisticated special effects). As part of playing that role, she sang the famous song "Let It Go," including the line "No right, no wrong, no rules for me. I'm free." 

When Frozen was released, it faced a lot of backlash, especially directed at this song in particular, and I had been a part of that backlash. But I recently watched a video that caused me to rethink my view of "Let It Go" and of another Disney song, "Hakuna Matata." In a Cinema Therapy video, Jonathan Decker, licensed therapist who loves movies, spoke of both of those songs and how they represented a necessary, but necessarily-temporary philosophy for their respective characters. Simba needed to learn not to worry about his father's death when there was nothing he could do to fix the resulting problems, and Elsa needed to learn to let go of her fear of her ice magic after having repressed them so long. Neither character was entirely healthy in that space, and importantly, neither of them end their stories there, but they were both necessary steps toward a better, healthier place.

The same could possibly be said about some of the philosophies I currently hold. For instance, I'm currently learning about Stoicism, a more mature version of the better parts of the Hakuna Matata philosophy. Stoicism basically means to focus on that which is within your control and to let go of that which lies outside your control. The focus is on making good choices, not on hoping for good outcomes. I don't know whether this will be a good long-term philosophy, but at the very least, it's a step in the right direction.

Not all philosophies are meant to last forever. Some of them can be used as stepping stones to get you somewhere better. Embrace the philosophies that help you, but if a philosophy outlives its helpfulness and becomes more like a millstone or a crutch, it may be wise to be willing to "let it go."

Make Time for Family

This evening, over dinner, I scheduled time to spend with some of my family members whom I don't get to see as often as I'd like. It almost feels weird to compare schedules and set a specific time to spend together, but sometimes, that's what it takes. We have busy lives. If we don't deliberately make time for the people who matter to us, that time will just slip away. I'm glad we scheduled a time to see each other. It's important to make time for family.

Maintaining My Core Beliefs

While working on a blog post to which I am now too tired and too late to do justice, I was rereading some of my old blog posts and considering how my opinions have and haven't changed on some matters. I still hold beliefs that I feel are central to the core of my moral philosophy. I still believe in "Live and Let Live," and I still believe that you should "Act According to Your Beliefs," whether or not those beliefs correlate at all with mine. Some specific details may have changed, and I now consider some principles to be more or less important than I used to, but the core of my morality has remained unchanged for at least nine years.

Personally, I'm not sure how I feel about this. It could be a good sign, since it means that my beliefs are still proving wise, even as I become better at discerning what's wise. But on the other hand, it could be a bad sign, indicating that I'm not evaluating my beliefs thoroughly enough to identify and expunge the foolish beliefs that I was once foolish enough to hold. Thankfully, I'm somewhat comforted in the knowledge that some of my beliefs have changed, indicating a change in my wisdom. If my beliefs continue to stand up to scrutiny, even as I become better at evaluating wisdom, then I can be increasingly certain that they are actually wise.

I'm glad that my core beliefs are still my core beliefs. I may be wrong (and if I am, I hope I change my mind later), but I think that that's a good sign that I'm on the right track.

A Dud Night

There have been days that I've missed blogging. This is practically one of them. I let this evening get away from me, and now it's super late, I still have work to do tonight, and I have no idea what I want to blog about. So, tonight is a dud night, I'm afraid. Hopefully, it'll be the last blog post I blog about how I have no idea what to blog about. I may continue to blog occasionally after completing ten years of (mostly) daily blogging, but if I do, I'll only blog when I have something to blog about. This is a post of necessity, not inspiration. In the future, I intend to ensure that the ratio of good posts to half-hearted ones is much, much higher. In the meantime, I hope you can be patient with me.

Behavior, Feeling, Need - How to Turn off a Smoke Alarm

I just found this on Facebook. And just in case something goes strangely with the image, here's a transcription of the important parts. "Beneath every behavior there is a feeling. And beneath each feeling is a need. And when we meet that need, rather than focus on the behavior, we begin to deal with the cause, not the symptom."

I have found this to be true in my personal life. I have a handful of behaviors that I have been trying to change, and for a long time, I had been focusing on the behavior, trying to increase my self-control. I was ignoring my needs and feelings. In essence, I was trying to turn off the warning signs that my needs weren't being met. That's like taking the battery out of an annoying smoke detector instead of putting out the fire or getting out of the burning building. Now that I've gotten a better idea of what the real problems are, I've been able to begin figuring out how to actually solve them.

I'm learning to stop worrying about the symptom and to start focusing on the cause. Once the fire is out and the smoke is cleared, the alarm will stop on its own.

Who Do I Want to Be?

I just watched a Cinema Therapy video about The Lion King, which naturally included the scene where Mufasa tells Simba to "Remember who you are." Jonathan Decker, the therapist of Cinema Therapy, said that when people tell him they don't know who they are, he asks them who they want to be. 

"Identity is everything," according to Decker. Some see their identity as the spark of the divine within them, and some people see their identity as the core of their being, sometime one can find by stripping away the excess, and Decker seemed to consider these valid analogies, but he also said that identity is something you create. We can manifest our identities through our desires.

In another recent video, Stoic philosopher Ryan Holiday said, "We assemble our life step by step," likely paraphrasing another Stoic philosopher who apparently said, "You have to assemble your life yourself - action by action."

I'd like to do that. Or rather, I would like to do that, if I knew what kind of life I want to assemble. I have a life, a few hobbies, a handful of passions, and very few practical, useful ideas. What I don't have is any clue how to turn that into a life I can live long-term. I can look for opportunities, but I'm not sure what kinds of opportunities to look for, how to recognize them, whether I'll get any opportunities of that kind, or whether I'd recognize such opportunities if I got them. I'm not sure how to build the kind of life I want because I don't know what of life I'd want to, or even could, build.

That said, I know some basic ideas for the life I'd like to have. I know some traits of mine that I'd like to develop, like generosity, kindness, helpfulness, and strength, and I know a few traits of mine that I'd like to diminish, including temper and self-doubt. That's not a clear, idealizable role-model, but it's a start. And maybe that start is enough for now. It's not a clear idea of who I want to be, but it's a fair description of who I want to be, and it's certainly a step in the right direction.

I will gradually become a stronger, wiser, better person, not just because that's who I am, but also because that's how I choose to be.

Courage to Walk Alone

I was just browsing on Facebook when I saw a post that gave me some pause for thought. It said that "It's better to walk alone, than with a crowd going the wrong direction." More than one prophet have said something about needing to have the courage to stand for what's right, even if that means having to stand alone. It takes a lot of courage to do that. It may even, in some rare cases, be dangerous. But when we make the decision to stand alone when we have to, we won't actually have to be alone. There will be those who stand with us, at least in spirit, when we stand up for what we know is right.

But as I've been writing this, I realize that it takes more than merely standing still. We need to walk. We need to follow the right paths toward the right destinations. We need to keep moving toward where we want to be, even if everyone else is going another way. We need to keep making progress, though it may not look like progress from the perspective of others. They may call us "backward," but regardless of their insults, we need to have the courage to follow the path we feel is right.

In life, it's often easiest to go with the flow of the crowd, but it's far better to follow the better path, even if one has to do so alone.

"Slowly and Lightly, One Step at a Time"

I just read a good quote on Facebook, attributed to Daniell Koepke, "You don't have to solve your whole life overnight. And you don't have to feel ashamed for being where you are. All you have to focus on is one small thing you can do today to get you closer to where you want to be. Slowly and lightly, one step at a time. You can get there."

I needed this reminder. I frequently need this reminder. There are times when I feel so frustrated, so burnt out, so far from where I want to be. This reminds me that it's okay to slow down, to pace myself, to take life "Slowly and lightly, one step at a time."  Eternal progress is progress with an eternal perspective. So long as there is progress toward our eternal goal, that can be enough. I don't need to agonize over not making progress quickly enough. Any progress is progress, and any rate of progress, multiplied by eternity, is infinite.

So, I'm doing well enough. I don't have to get frustrated at my lack of progress, and I don't have to feel ashamed for not being perfect yet. I'll get there, slowly and lightly, one step at a time.

Is Perfection Worth the Pain?

Supposedly, Seneca, a Stoic Philosopher, once said, "A gem cannot be polished without friction, nor a man perfected without trials."

I sometimes wonder if becoming perfect is worth it. I really, really hate the trials I experience, and I don't necessarily feel great about God for letting me experience these trials. Granted, I understand that other people have it much worse, but that just makes my feelings about God even more complicated. Why does He allow people to experience this much suffering?

Of course, from His perspective, this is nothing. A whole human lifetime is barely a moment, from God's perspective. But we don't have God's perspective. If we ever did, the veil of forgetfulness made us lose that perspective just before we were born. All we have is our knowledge of this life, and this life... isn't the best.

Granted, things will hopefully be better in the next life, especially if we endure our trials well in this one, but that's little comfort for those who are stuck in this life.

I'm a rough, unpolished gem who doesn't care, at all, how well polished I'll be at the end of this. I just want the friction to stop.

The Loose Stray Experience

Last night, my Mom, my brother, and I went on an adventure. My brother and I were walking our Mom's dog, Kira, when we saw a stray dog running around the parkway ahead. Kira loves to meet other dogs, so she ran toward the stray and broke the leash. The two dogs chased each other, ultimately ending up in the cemetery. That's when my brother and I called Mom for backup. My brother and I managed to secure Kira by the time Mom arrived, and we tried to catch the stray dog as well, but we failed, the cemetery closed, and we all got locked in. We wandered around the cemetery, looking for an exit, with Kira back on a leash and the stray dog following us. Eventually, we got out and walked home, with the stray following us the whole way. We shut the stray in our yard, got her (or him?) some food, water, and a bed, and planned on putting up Found Dog posters everywhere today. That's mostly why I didn't blog about this experience last night; the story wasn't over yet, or so we thought.

Some time last night or this morning, the stray dog squeezed under our fence and took off for who knows where, making most of our efforts of last night useless. Had we known the stray dog was just going to slip away anyway, we wouldn't have bothered going the extra mile to try to catch it. We might have gotten out of the cemetery in time, and we would have had a much less exciting our difficult experience. Sure, we'd've still had to chase down and recapture Kira, but we could've gone straight home after that, rather than spending so long in that cemetery, chasing the stray and getting locked in. Knowing that ahead of time, we could have saved ourselves a lot of trouble and missed out on what might turn out to be a valuable learning experience.

Regardless of how abruptly this experience ended and how pointless much of it ended up being, we still had the experience, and maybe that was the whole point. Maybe we were supposed to get locked in that graveyard, for whatever reason. Maybe we were supposed to learn that some things will follow us, so long as we're not chasing them away in pursuit of them. Maybe it was merely a test of character and endurance. I'll admit, we got a little testy at certain points that evening. Maybe that was all part of the test. And then, when we had experienced everything we needed to experience, God allowed (and perhaps helped) the stray to slip away, sparing us some unnecessary and distracting complications.

I still don't know what all we were supposed to gain from that Loose Stray experience, but I get the feeling that, as short as it was, it's going to become important at some point.

"My Beloved Son"

Tonight, for family scripture study, we read several verses from various scriptures in which God the Father introduced His Son, Jesus Christ. In Matthew 3:17, He says, "This is my beloved Son, in whom I am well pleased." In Matthew 17:5, He says, "This is my beloved Son, in whom I am well pleased; hear ye him." In Joseph Smith—History 1:17, He says, "This is My Beloved Son. Hear Him!" And in 3 Nephi 11:7, He says, "Behold my Beloved Son, in whom I am well pleased, in whom I have glorified my name—hear ye him."

All of these introductions are remarkably similar, with only a handful of phrases added or dropped in each one. "Hear Him" or "Hear ye Him" appears three out of four times, as does "in whom I am well pleased." The phrase "in whom I have glorified my name" appears only in 3 Nephi, shortly after the Atonement and Resurrection. But there is one phrase that is common to them all: "This is my beloved Son," or, phrased slightly differently in 3 Nephi, "Behold my beloved Son." Every time God introduces Jesus Christ, He introduces Him as "My Beloved Son."

What strikes me as remarkable about this phrase is that, as a moniker, it can apply only to Jesus, but as a descriptor, it applies to us all. We are all God's children. That's what He created us to be. We are all sons and daughters of God. And He loves us. He loves all His children. We, His children, are all beloved by Him. Each and every person who has ever, will ever, and will never be born is a beloved son or daughter of God.

Naturally, Jesus is special. Jesus is God's "only begotten Son." And I'd be surprised if Jesus wasn't especially beloved. After all, He's the morally perfect Savior of the world. After all He's done, I'd be shocked if He hadn't earned a handful of brownie points that the rest of us can't quite match. Still, it seems almost sacrilegious to say that God loves His children unequally. He has an infinite amount of love for all of us. It's difficult to say whether one person's infinite amount of love even could be different from another's.

Ultimately, though, I'm not sure how much it matters. Even though Jesus is God's "only begotten," we are His children, too. And even though God loves Jesus enough to call Him "beloved," that doesn't mean He doesn't also love us. Even if Jesus is more beloved or more closely related to God than we are, that doesn't change the fact that we are all beloved sons and daughters of God.

So, whenever you struggle with your identity or with feeling unloved, remember: You are a child of God, and He loves you.

Hell

I don't often complain about other religions, especially other Christian religions, but there's a concept in mainstream Christianity that really bothers me. I can't understand how so many Christians believe that a loving Heavenly Father would send any of His children to a hell in which they would be tortured for eternity. There's just no sense in doing that. It cannot be justice, because an infinite punishment cannot justly be meted out against a finite crime. It cannot be corrective, because the punishment lasts forever. And if cannot be retributive, because a wise, just, loving God wouldn't seek revenge against His own children. If the "thoughts that any soul should endure endless torment did cause [the sons of Mosiah] to quake and tremble" (Mosiah 28:3), surely the same could be said of God.

God doesn't want to punish people, and He certainly doesn't want to punish people any more than is necessary to the purpose of correction. The traditional concept of hell goes far beyond anything a good god would use, except perhaps as a warning to intimidate people into behaving. God might threaten people with the idea of hell, but I highly doubt He'd ever actually send anyone to such a place. Spirit Prison is temporary, and the Telestial Kingdom is a fine place for people to live in. The only comparable place one could go to is Outer Darkness, and only a handful of mortals have earned a place there. For most people, the traditional concept of hell is something we, thankfully, don't have to worry about.

God doesn't send people to hell for eternal punishment, and I feel kinda sorry for the misguided Christians who believe that He would.

Planning More

Due to factors entirely outside of my control (and, admittedly, a few within it), I may be going on something of an adventure in the not-too-distant future. The adventure itself isn't going to be an issue. It's not going to be too big of a deal. And if the adventure doesn't happen, the situation stays normal. What's really killer is the uncertainty. Not knowing what's going to happen, specifically whether the adventure will happen or not, means not being able to plan. Or rather, it means having to plan more.

See, I can plan for the adventure, whether the adventure is going to happen or not. I can make preparations. I can do some things to prepare. I can come up with plans and ideas for how it's going to work, whether the adventure actually ends up happening or not. I can justifiably let some preparations go to waste, and some of my preparations can be repurposed. I can get ready for something that might not happen, and if it happens, I'll be glad I was ready, and if it doesn't, it won't matter.

Of course, I also have to plan for what I'll do if the adventure doesn't happen. Those plans will have to be flexible, as I may end up having to change or abandon them, but the same principle applies. I'll make the adventure plan and the non-adventure plan, I'll try not to commit to either plan until I know which way we're headed, and then we'll find out which way the wind blows.

Life is full of uncertainty, and sometimes that means having to change or abandon plans, and that causes some people to call into question who useful plans are in the first place. If you know your plans will need to change and you'll have to improvise later anyway, why bother making plans? But I say that it's good to have plans and back-up plans. It's good to consider multiple likely possibilities and to have plans in place for each of them. Sure, it means that some of your prep time will be wasted, but planning is good practice for future planning, and regardless of the outcome, you'll be glad you had a plan. Besides, some prep work can be repurposed, regardless of what plan ends up happening. For instance, I'm developing a skill which might become essential, but which otherwise will still be handy to have. I won't consider it a waste if I don't end up needing this skill on any adventure. Simply having the skill is its own reward for developing it, no matter what happens regarding any "plan."

So, if the face of uncertainty, I plan to plan for a variety of possibilities. I'll make Plan As, knowing fully well that they rarely go perfectly, Plan Bs, knowing that they rarely go quite the way we expect, and Plan Cs and Ds, time permitting, in case something truly unexpected happens. It's good to keep such plans loose and flexible. But even in the face of uncertainty, I plan to plan. If fact, for me, uncertainty just means planning more.

An Incomprehensible Gift

I've received countless gifts in my life. Between birthdays, Christmases, and occasional "just because"s, I must have received hundreds of gifts over the course of my life. Most of them have long since been used up or worn out. Many of them still see regular use and bring me great joy. Two gifts I've received recently stand out as being especially incredible, nigh incomprehensible. Yet, I have only ever received one truly incomprehensible gift, and I'm not sure I've even fully received it yet.

The Atonement of Jesus Christ is the greatest gift anyone has ever received from anyone. The guarantee of a fully restored, perfect, and immortal body is a great gift on its own, but the Atonement also includes forgiveness and purification. Through the Atonement of Jesus Christ, we can be cleansed of all our sins and become perfect as He is. Such a gift is truly overwhelming, immeasurable, and incomprehensible.

I've been blown away by the gifts I've been given, and it's so impossible to sufficiently thank my benefactors that I hardly dare to even try. But I know that the one thing my benefactors want me to do with their gifts is to use them well and not let them go to waste. So, I'm going to do my best to use their gifts wisely, responsibly, and well. Their gifts were and are so incredible, it's difficult to imagine that amount of charity, given to one who has done so little to deserve it, but as incomprehensible as their gifts are, I can fully grasp what I'm supposed to do with them. So, I have expressed my deepest gratitude (and will likely do so again), and I pledge to use these gifts well.

Small Hinges

It's amazing how hard my day can turn from a good day to a bad one and back again. I did homework today. I got a lot done, and I did it fairly well. I think the lowest score I got on any of the 5 or 6 assignments I did today was a 9.5 out of 10. I was very productive and successful today. Yet, this evening was stressful for me, and I quickly became overwhelmed. Thankfully, my night turned around in an instant when I saw a drawing that was probably the best piece of art I've ever seen. Within seconds, I couldn't stop smiling, and I've been smiling ever since.

Partly, this is a testament to how small things can make big impacts. As they say, "big doors swing on small hinges." But also, maybe we shouldn't let them.

I don't want to be this easy to volatile. Sure, cheering up quickly is fine, but I don't want to let my whole day get ruined by a rough evening. I don't want to be so easily annoyed by common occurrences. I want to be stronger than that. I want to have more emotional resilience, so I'm not as easily swayed, at least not for the worse.

It was good that a tiny thing was able to improve my mood instantly, but it would have been better if I hadn't let a few small things ruin my mood in the first place.

A Moment of Peace

It sometimes amazes me how quickly I can get peace. Just a short while ago, I felt stressed about life, decisions, expenses, and uncertainty, but then I spent a moment in a cool, quiet, dark room and listened to the rain for a moment, and all my worries washed away. It'll be alright. What will be will be. I'll make the best decisions I can, and maybe I'll get lucky or maybe I won't. I'll learn gradually, and it'll be an interesting experience. I let go of my worries, and I felt peace.

I should do that more often.

Utensil Repentance

Earlier this evening, I dropped a pair of tongs. I quickly recognized this as being no big deal. I shortly picked the tongs up and washed them. I recall thinking at the moment that we could do the same with spiritual missteps and near-instant repentance. If we recognize and correct our mistakes quickly enough, they don't need to be problems for long.

Later, I accidentally left a ladle if the sink as we left the place, not realizing my mistake until we got home. As "big deals" go, this one was slightly less infinitesimal. We had to drive all the way back to retrieve the ladle, which took time, gas, and effort.

The sooner we recognize and correct our missteps, the easier it is to do so. Yet, even when the problem had grown more substantial, fixing it was fairly simple and easy. Our problems are only as big as we make them and as we let them grow. The sooner we seek to correct our missteps, the easier it is to do so. Yet, even when time has elapsed and the problem has grown, it is never impossible to repent.

Passing

Today, I took a Driver's Test (more specifically, the Knowledge portion) for the first time in 5 years. Thankfully, I passed the test, but only barely. I was allowed three skips, and I used all three of them. I could have gotten six questions wrong and still passed, and I missed five. Incidentally, when approaching another car with your highbeams on, you're supposed to shift to lowbeams when you're within 300 feet, not 500 feet (or was it the other way around?), assuming you can judge the difference between those distances while driving in the dark.

But regardless of how dangerously close I got to failing this test, I passed, and that's really all that matters at the end of the day. I got my Learner's Permit again. I can, under some circumstances, legally drive. My score was far from immaculate, but it was good enough to win the prize, same as if I had gotten every questions correct without having to skip any. In this case, and perhaps others, I didn't have to hold myself to the standard of absolute perfection. Being "good enough" was indeed good enough.

I know that I'm far from perfect, in many respects. We all are. All we can hope is that, as the end of the day, we're judged to be good enough to pass.

Increased Capacity for Wisdom

Tonight, for Family Scripture Study, we read the last several verses of Luke 2, the parts that don't usually make it into the Christmas Story, including verses 40 and 52.

And the child grew, and waxed strong in spirit, filled with wisdom: and the grace of God was upon him. - Luke 2:40

And Jesus increased in wisdom and stature, and in favour with God and man. - Luke 2:52

As I reread these verses, planning to blog about how Jesus increased in Wisdom until He became perfectly wise (and we can, too, no matter how unwise we are at the moment), an even more blogworthy thought occurred to me. In verse 40, Jesus was "filled with wisdom," and in verse 52, He "increased in wisdom." Taken literally, this means that Jesus was filled with wisdom, at 100% capacity, and then somehow got more.

Theoretically, this isn't possible. One cannot reach above 100% capacity at anything. If one did, that only proves that one hadn't actually been at 100% capacity before. Yet, reaching above 100% capacity is quite easy, if (and only if) one's capacity can increase.

Imagine filling a glass with water. When the glass is completely filled, no more water can be poured into the glass. It would merely spill out. Yet, if the glass grew taller or wider, its capacity could increase, and thus it could hold more water, even more than its previous 100%.

It is possible to "increase in wisdom," even after one has been "filled" with it. Cambridge defines wisdom as "the ability to make good judgments based on what you have learned from your experience, or the knowledge and understanding that gives you this ability." It's possible to make the best possible judgments you can, based on what you have learned from your experience, and to thus have reached the maximum capacity for wisdom. Yet, it is also possible to gain more experience, to learn more, to increase in knowledge and understanding, and thus to "increase in wisdom," even after one has been "filled."

In fact, far beyond merely being possible, increasing in wisdom should happen all the time, even if one had previously reached one's peak. We, as living beings, are gaining experience all the time. We can hardly do otherwise. And as the old adage goes, "you learn something new every day." We are constantly gaining experience and knowledge that we should use to increase our wisdom. As we grow smarter and more experienced, we should grow wiser, too.

We should follow the Savior's example in continually increasing in wisdom, especially as our capacity for wisdom is continually increasing as well.

Should Ragnar Redmane Have Killed That Book?

When a D&D character in one of my games takes a life, or has an opportunity and chooses not to, I like to ask myself whether their action or inaction was or would have been justified. Tonight, one of my characters, Ragnar Redmane, had such an experience, with the added complication that the "creature" he "killed" wasn't actually alive. Ragnar and his companions were storming a wizard's tower, which seemed to be the source of a curse that was apparently enfeebling the minds of countless people in the surrounding city. For the good of a great number of people, the magical effect had to be stopped. But, being adventurers, we knew to expect resistance. Shortly after entering the tower, four books flew off the shelves and attacked us, and naturally, we fought back.

Now, Ragnar could have argued that he was fighting in self defense. Sure, he hadn't personally been attacked at the time he attacked and destroyed a book, but his companions had, and I count is as justified for one person to fight in the defense of another. Yet, the better argument for self-defense belonged to the wizard, whose tower was being broken into. I believe people should have a right to defend their homes against invasion, and these "guard books" seemed to be part of the wizard's home defense plan. But the wizard was, perhaps inadvertently, causing harm to countless people outside, so perhaps it was more justified for Ragnar to fight through the wizard's defenses in the defense of the welfare of everyone outside.

One minor complication is that the books weren't actually alive. The destruction of property is far less egregious than the taking of a life. Yet, even then, that was harm done to the wizard's property, which seems unjust. Yet, the books were attacking people. If either four books or five people had to be destroyed, I would choose to destroy the books, even if the people were in the wrong. But were the books really fighting to the death? Had the four animated textbooks somehow managed to defeat five fifth-level characters, would they really have killed the adventurers? Assuming that the books knew what they were doing, they likely would have tried to incapacitate them so they could be disarmed, bound, and brought before the wizard so we could have a civilized conversation. Lethal force was neither necessary nor justified because no lives were on the line.

Frankly, Ragnar and his companions should have entered the tower (peacefully, if possible) and tried to have a courteous conversation with the wizard. Even after the books attacked, we could have tried to deescalate rather than responding in kind. Likewise, the wizard should have spoken to us before the book fight broke out and/or should have avoided having hurt people in the first place. This conflict was completely avoidable, had either side chosen to talk it out before attacking and/or fighting back.

So, no, Ragnar wasn't justified in attacking the books any more than the books were justified in attacking him. Both parties likely thought they were acting in the defense of themselves and/or other innocent parties, but both parties caused unnecessary and avoidable harm. Ragnar, as an intelligent and morally-capable individual, should have known and done better, and so should we. Even when we think others are attacking us for no good reason, we should probably avoid responding in kind unless it's necessary. Rather, we should try to deescalate and talk it out. It's not always viable to get out of a conflict, and it is sometimes necessary and justified to kill in self-defense, but one should always at least attempt to look for peaceful solutions as well.

Rain

I didn't always like the rain. I'm not sure I ever hated it, but I didn't like it. Rain (and the threat of rain) keeps me from biking, and it gets me cold and wet. But there are reasons to like the rain, and some people do. Hearing them tell me how the rain brings them comfort helped me to realize that it can bring me comfort, too.

So, I'm grateful for the rain, but even more than that, I'm grateful someone taught me how to take comfort in the rain.

Sharing the Load

I sometimes worry about being a burden to others (and about making others feel like they're being a burden on me), but I was recently reminded that we can bear burdens better when we bear them together. In Mosiah, we're reminded to "bear one another’s burdens, that they may be light;" (Mosiah 18:8). Often, one person has strengths that can more easily handle another's load, or one person may have knowledge or ideas that can help resolve another's problems. There are many ways in which one person may more easily bear another's burdens and even more ways in which multiple people can better bear burdens together.

So, perhaps I shouldn't worry so much about whether I'm being a burden to others or whether they're being a burden to me. We were meant to help bear one another's burdens and help each other by sharing the load.

Fam-demonium

This afternoon was a little hectic. After church, we went home to work on dinner, to clean, and to access some of our emergency supplies. A terrible storm had passed through our area, knocking out some of our family members' power. So, we prepared backup batteries and solar-powered freezers, in addition to the normal dinner preparations, plus some additional cleaning because we had three missionaries and a toddler coming over. It was insane. But it was a good kind of crazy, I managed to retreat to a quieter room when I needed to, and in the end, it was all worth it because we were able to visit with some close family members and help them in their time of need.

It was pandemonium for a while there, but it was for family's sake, and it was all worth it. After a sufficient rest and/or in a time of sufficient need, I would gladly face such fam-demonium again.

Accidental Evil?

Is it possible to do evil by accident? I've been writing a story for myself in which the main character, Eloise, is trying very hard to never do anything evil, not even sins of omission. She found herself in a situation where a band of pirates were likely to be destroyed by a storm, and she had the power to save them, to leave them to their fate, or to ensure their destruction.

Normally, a hero's first instinct would be to save others. A virtuous person should save as many lives as they can. Yet, these are pirates. These are thieves and murderers. If they were spared, they'd go on, killing and stealing and committing other acts of evil, for which Eloise would be at least partly responsible.

Alternatively, Eloise could have sealed their fates. Eloise had the opportunity to ensure that all of those pirate died in that storm, taking their evil to their watery graves. Yet, could she be sure that they were all evil? There are likely to be at least a few innocent people caught up in almost any wrong crowd. Perhaps many of those pirates could have been decent people, had life given them the chance. To cause or even to allow those potentially innocent people to die would be a great evil, for which Eloise would have been directly responsible.

Of course, she could have washed her hands of the whole situation and let nature take its course. But if she had done so, tragic mistakes would have been made. Some who deserved death would have survived and some who deserved life would have died. Doing nothing would have ensured the deaths of some innocents and the survival of some wicked. It was clearly the worst option. Eloise had to do something, to either save them or condemn them to death, but which should she choose? She didn't want to make the wrong choice by accident.

Noting her concerns, her mentor, another fictional character in this story I've been telling myself, said that it isn't possible to do evil by accident. So long as a person is trying to do good, that counts as Good for them, regardless of the results. But as soon as I wrote those words, I second-guessed them. There are plenty of people who do evil, thinking they're doing good. There are even people who do what they consider to be "necessary" evils, for the sake of the "greater good." Evil has been done in the name of good, by those who may have sincerely thought that they were trying to do good, and yet it was evil, nonetheless, wasn't it?

In the end, Eloise saved the pirates, pledging to deal with the problems they'd cause after she broke up the fight between the kraken and the leviathan, and I counted that as a Good act. But ultimately, I'm not sure. I think that it may be possible to do evil by accident, and though that may not fairly stain the accidental evil-doer's soul, it's still evil caused by the actions of those who were trying to do good. Naturally, that's not as damning as if they were doing evil out of apathy or spite, but it's still an instance of evil for which the accidental evil-doer is at least partly responsible.

I'm sure God judges mistakes differently than He judges deliberate acts, but it's still somewhat troubling to me to think that people can commit acts of evil by accident.

Not Possible

Just in case anyone ever needed, or will ever need, a reminder, Elder Jeffrey R. Holland once said (and I quote, in case the image breaks later), "However late you think you are, however many chances you think you have missed, however many mistakes you feel you have made, or talents you think you don't have, or however far from home and family and God you feel you have traveled, I testify that you have not traveled beyond the reach of divine love. It is not possible for you to sink lower than the infinite light of Christ's Atonement shines."

I believe that it's important to pay attention when prophets like Elder Holland use absolutes. "It is not possible for you to sink lower than the infinite light of Christ's Atonement shines." No matter what happens, no matter what we do, God will still love us, and He will still reach out to us and help us, same as He always has.

We will stumble. We may sometimes feel we have lost our way. But we will never be lost to God. His infinite love will still be able to reach us, no matter how far from heaven we haphazardly travel while on this Earth.

I don't know who will need to hear this message or when they'll need to hear it, but it's worth remembering that no matter how lost we feel or seem, we are not lost to God. We may wander, but it's comforting to know that it is not possible for us to wander that far.

Personification

I'm a fan of personification. I like to name my bikes and give them personalities (my current bike, Cielo, is a "fair weather" bicycle who dislikes getting wet). I sometimes, at least jokingly, ascribe agency, favoritism, and/or antagonism to dice. And in a recent conversation with my mom, I described one of our kitchen drawers as being "eager to serve." I like to think of things as being like people, partly because it helps me practice empathy and kindness. If nothing else, it helps me make interesting fictional characters and imaginary friends.

Naturally, it's possible to take this too far, and it's important to recognize where imagination ends and reality begins. It's important to know that inanimate objects can't hear you and that what they do doesn't actually reflect who they are as people, because they're not people, and they don't actually do anything. Still, it's fun to pretend.

But if we personify anything, we should be sure to also personify people. We should acknowledge that everyone we meet (and everyone we don't meet) is a real person with real personalities and feelings that should be respected. All people are worth caring about, whereas most physical things aren't. So, while it's fun and harmless to treat objects like people, we must be careful to never do the reverse. We must never objectify people or treat them as anything less than human. We should treat all people like the people they are.

It's fine to personify objects, and if it helps us practice empathy, it can even be a good thing, just so long as we remember to actually respect the true personhood of people, too.

"Drive Safe"

Earlier today, I encouraged someone to "drive safe," but then acknowledged that that wasn't really fully in her control, partly because she wasn't going to be the one driving the whole time and partly because there are several safety-affecting factors outside of our control. There are, of course, other drivers. In this particular case, there is also inclement weather affecting the situation. Additionally, mechanical failures can reduce vehicular safety through no fault of the driver, let alone the passengers. There are many external forces that can affect us, regardless of what we do.

Yet, all we can ever do is to do what we can. Despite the many forces beyond our power, we can still do all that lies within our power, leaving the rest up to luck, fate, and/or the will of God. We may not have total control over ever situation, but we still have some control, and we should actively do what we can.

Beyond that, we can accept the fact that we don't have full control, and things may still happen that go against our wishes. Sometimes the dice don't land the way we want them to. Sometimes fate has other plans. And when God decides to influence a situation, no other power can prevail against His will. He may spare the careless or claim the soul of the cautious. Whether we "drive safe" or not is more in God's hands than in ours, though He usually lets us face that natural consequences of our actions, for well or woe.

So, when facing a situation with any degree of chance, we should always do what we can, but we should also try to remember and accept that the outcome may be determined more by forces outside of our control.

To Become Stronger

I think I've finally decided on a New Year's Resolution (better late than never, I suppose). I wasn't originally going to do one of these. It seems so arbitrary. Yet, I have a few traits that I'd like to improve on, and there's no time like the present. Essentially, I'd like to become stronger, in almost every sense of the word. I want to get physically stronger through exercise. I want to gain a stronger grip on my emotions. I want to develop the moral strength to stand up for my convictions. I want to be less like air, flying away from my problems, and less like fire, lashing out in the face of them, but more like rock, standing tall and strong, no matter how badly my problems try to beat me down.

It won't be easy. Working out will be painful and difficult, refusing to react to my emotions will sometimes be a challenge, and standing firm by my beliefs will likely lead to some difficult conversations with some people I know. But I want to be strong enough to do those things. I want weakness to stop being a reason I do what I do and don't do what I don't do. I want to be strong enough to do what's right, regardless of previous physical and emotional limitations. I want to have the courage and the power to do what's right.

So, that's what I'm going to be working on for the next while or so. I've been too weak for too long. Now I am going to attempt to become physically, emotionally, and morally strong.

Doing Good Feels Good

This evening, I got home from a visit to my sister's house. When I got home (and after crashing, unpacking, and having Family Prayer and Scripture Study with my family), I noticed a handful of small projects I could do to make the house a little better. I did some cleaning, refilled a soap dispenser, and generally made myself useful. This was time-consuming, but it felt good. It felt good to get things clean. It felt good to do something good (especially when I hadn't been told to do it and no one would have complained if I hadn't). It felt good to have made a positive, if small, impact on my environment, especially in so little time.

I don't know how long it took me to do those projects. Maybe an hour. Maybe less. But it was well worth the time and effort. It was a good thing to do, and it felt good to do it.

The Home Stretch

In many regards, I am in the "home stretch." Tomorrow is the last day of an experience I've been having for the last half-week. Early next month, I'll have completed 10 years of almost daily blogging. And by the end of the year, I'll have completed 10 years of tutoring experience and possibly have filled out the forms required to officially graduate college with a degree or two. I'm not entirely sure what I'll do when I cross these finish lines. Perhaps, in at least some cases, I'll do more of the same. But change is inevitable and often beneficial. In at least some of these cases, when I've reached those milestones, my circumstances and behavior will change.

I'm not sure how to feel about these endings and/or potential endings. Accomplishments can be satisfying and relieving, but new challenges, including the challenge of figuring out what's next, can be daunting. For now, I'll choose to focus on the satisfaction and relief of crossing these finish lines, of completing these accomplishments, and of reaching these goals. These 10-year accomplishments are worth celebrating. I plan on rewarding myself for jobs well done. And after that... I'm sure I'll figure something out.