Anticipating Unanticipated Costs

I am frequently reminded of the parable of the man planning to build a tower. In Luke 14:28, we read "For which of you, intending to build a tower, sitteth not down first, and counteth the cost, whether he have sufficient to finish it?" This can be tricky. People are not typically perfectly accurate when it comes to predicting the future, including when it comes to predicting future costs. Often, unanticipated expenses arise, leading to the project costing more than one had originally anticipated. Yet, I suppose we can plan for that, too. We may not know what additional expenses may arise, but we can anticipate that unanticipated expenses will arise, and we can set aside some funds to cover the unanticipated costs. For example, if we think that building a tower would cost $1000, we could budget in an additional $200, to cover the costs we didn't predict.

Naturally, this advice is not merely financial. We can budget our time and energy in similar ways. For example, there are items on my weekly schedule that take about 45 minutes, but I allot them an hour each on my schedule, in case setbacks occur. This gives me some amount of flexibility with my time, rather than leaving me vulnerable to being late if anything takes slightly longer than expected. Similarly, we can budget our energy in regards to upcoming projects and errands. It's difficult to estimate how much we can do and how much juice we'll have left after we've done it, but if we plan projects that are well within our abilities, and/or if we plan more breaks than we think we'll need, we can hopefully avoid the risk of running out of steam before the project is done.

Granted, even when we account for issues we didn't anticipate, we can sometimes be caught underprepared. It's difficult to anticipate how far our unanticipated setbacks will set us back. We might budget $1200 for a tower that we think will only cost $1000, but if it actually ends up costing $1500, we might still be in trouble. Still, it's good to try to anticipate unanticipated costs, so we can reduce the likelihood of running into that kind of trouble, and we can reduce the amount of trouble we'll find ourselves in. It's less bad to be $300 over budget than to be $500 over budget, especially since it can also be calculated as being 25% over budget as opposed to 50% over budget. And when it comes to time and energy, one can burn the midnight oil when one has to, so long as one doesn't burn too much of it too often. We can't take the time we need to rest to regain our energy when we are instead spending that time and energy biting off more than we can chew.

So, when you anticipate anything that'll take up some of your resources, try to anticipate it taking up more of those resources than you think it actually will. Likely, either you'll be blissfully underbudget, with your original estimates having been close to correct, or you'll be glad you planned ahead enough to anticipate the unanticipated costs that inevitably unexpectedly came up.

What I Want to Remember About Today

I just saw a Facebook post that said "There is such a difference between asking 'What did you do today?' versus 'What do you want to remember about today?'," and that thought hit me pretty hard. For me, the answer to the first question is "Not Much," but the answer to the second question is far more interesting.

I want to remember that song that I heard for the first time and share with a friend whom I thought might also like to hear it.

I want to remember that time a met offense with humility and, in doing so, strengthened a bond that otherwise might have weakened.

I want to remember that I helped people about as well as I could have, even when I didn't feel like doing so.

I want to remember (and laugh at the comedy of errors) that I took four trains and a bus to get home this evening, intentionally walking two blocks in the wrong direction in the company of a stranger, all in a vain attempt to avoid a stopped train and the complications caused thereby, when I could have simplified my route home significantly (and probably gotten home sooner), simply by sitting down somewhere and practicing patience.

I want to remember that I got winded jogging a short distance across campus (these aren't chronological, by the way) and that I should probably put in some work on the treadmills at the Fitness Center, not just on the strength-training workout machines (that, or I could jog more on my own time, like instead of walking from one place to another, because I can do that anywhere). 

I want to remember a chance encounter I had almost forgotten until now. I saw the man with the lunchbox again, the one who risked missing the bus one day to make sure his kid would have a lunch.

I want to remember wanting to tell the man that he was a good man and a good father, but not being able to, because he's deaf, and I can't sign.

I want to remember a brand new idea I just had: carrying paper. I could have written him a note, if I had thought of it and if I had had the means.

I want to remember to write him a note tomorrow and save it for the next time I see him at the bus stop.

So, yeah, no, I didn't do much today, but as I think back on it, there's a lot I want to remember from it.

Trust Issues

It bothers me that God doesn't always explain Himself. I don't like taking "because I said so" as an answer, because that's not a good way to learn. I've had this issue since back when I took my Algebra class and was taught to use formulas for which I wasn't prepared to learn the proofs. Sometimes, we can't wrap our heads around how something works, but we're still expected to trust that it works and act on that information. I don't like doing that. For me, it's not enough to know that there is a rule; I also want to know why that rule exists.

Yet, I know that I can't always get an explanation. God's ability to explain things is limited by my inability to understand them. It'd be like me trying to explain something to a dog. Sure, I may understand something, but I can't necessarily make a dog understand it. Given that God is vastly more intelligent than we are, it may be that God is capable of understanding things that we cannot yet understand, even if God Himself were to try to explain them to us. Instead, He asks us to trust Him until we become intelligent enough to understand that which we cannot understand now.

This, too, is difficult for me. I find it difficult to trust God when every avenue I have for interacting with Him is so flawed. The people who claim to speak for Him could be lying and/or mistaken. The words those people wrote in scripture could be equally false. Even my own thoughts and feelings could be just that: my own thoughts and feelings, or worse, illusions sent by some cunning deceiver to deliberately mislead me. I can't shake the feeling that everything I think I know about God could be wrong, and I have no idea how I could know for sure. How can I trust someone when I can't fully trust any of the information I have about them?

I suppose my only recourse is to pray, to try to discern truth from falsehood for myself, and hope to God that I'm not being misled. As for the rules, I'm going to try to use my judgement there, too, including my judgement about whose judgement I can trust. Some people are wise, and others are foolish. Some people are honest, and others are liars. I'm going to do my best to figure out who's who and to make wise decisions from there. Will I make mistakes along the way? Absolutely. But as far as I've been told, mistakes were part of the plan anyway. This is part of how we learn. I will gain wisdom however I can, including through my own experience, and maybe one day I'll learn that I should have trusted God all along.

Scare Tactics

So, it's almost Halloween time, so I figured that tonight would be an appropriate time to ask, "Does God really want us to fear Him?" Naturally, I know that "fearing God" and being a "God-fearing people" doesn't actually mean being afraid of Him, but that still doesn't answer the question. Does God want us to be afraid of Him?

Of course, one would hope not. I don't think any good parent should try to motivate their children through fear. Yet, certain descriptions of hell and of the "great and dreadful day of the Lord" seem intent on causing at least apprehension, if not fear. There are times when I think that God wants to literally scare the hell out of us, or at least scare us away from hell.

Yet there is, perhaps, some merit to this tactic. Frightening a person is more humane than actually punishing them. If people can be scared into choosing to repent, then that's a step in the right direction, even if the step was made with less than stellar motivation. Perhaps God tries to scare us with (potentially exaggerated) descriptions of hell so we don't continue down the path toward it and find out how bad it is for ourselves. So, as unsavory intimidation is as a method of motivation, perhaps God uses it to help us avoid a fate far worse than getting scared.

I'd prefer it if God didn't use scare tactics, but if they help keep people on the strait and narrow path, perhaps it's worth it. Scaring people doesn't seem like a good thing to do, but if the choice is between scaring them and letting them suffer for eternity, the choice seems pretty clear.

Build Your Own Life

Hank R. Smith once said, "Remember my friends, you are the creative force in your life. If you want something to happen, YOU have to make it happen. Don't wait for someone or something to do it for you. Pray like it all depends on God, then work like it all depends on you."

He might have been quoting someone when he said that last part, but the point still stands. We can hope and pray all we want, but God leaves a lot of our lives up to us. We choose what kind of life we want to have by choosing how we live it. If we choose to live well, we will have good lives, and if we choose to live poorly, our lives won't be as good. Luck and blessings (or the lacks thereof) only modify how hard or how easy it is for us to create the life we want. The decision and the effort are ultimately up to us.

I find this simultaneously encouraging and disheartening. It's encouraging because it means I can build whatever life I want for myself. It's disheartening because it means I have a lot of work ahead of me. It's like a vacant lot with a sign that reads "Build to Suit." I have a lot of potential, but it's up to me to realize that potential. I can build whatever kind of life I want, but I have to build it with my own two hands and with the help of those who are willing to help me. It's thrilling, but I know it'll also be exhausting. I hope it'll be worth it in the end.

Belief in Eternity

I put this blog post off too long. At this point, it's going to be late, lousy, or both. Well, better late than never. Thankfully, we believe in eternity. We believe that, even after "the end," there's still time. That which has gone wrong can be set right in time, and there is always more time.

So, I'm not worried. No matter how far I am from my goal, I've got time to get there. No matter how wrong things are, there'll always be time to set it right. Eternity is a long time, which is lucky for us, since we have a lot of learning and growing to do. Growth takes time, but with an eternity worth of time, we can make an infinite amount of growth.

I'm grateful for my knowledge of and belief in eternity. I'm glad we know that this life isn't all there is. Wisdom comes with experience, and experience takes time. But just imagine how wise we can all become if we continue growing wiser throughout eternity.

"My No-Consequences Power Fantasy"

A Reddit (I think) user with the username "writing-prompt-s" once posed the question, " 'In a game with no consequences, why are you still playing the "Good" side?'," to which "deflare" responded, "Because my no-consequences power fantasy is being able to help everyone."

I concur with "deflare." I wish I had the time, energy, attitude, and ability to help everyone. I regret that I am sometimes to busy, tired, grumpy, or incompetent to help. It'd be nice to be able to help more people more often and to keep a smile on my face while I did it. Unfortunately, I'm not that good.

Still, I am fairly good, and I have the power to get better. I can become more cheerful, more capable, and more diligent, especially if I actively work toward those goals. I used to do that kind of goal-planning all the time, but I got discouraged due to a lack of progress. But this goal seems much more achievable. I can become (even) better at helping people, and I'll be (even) more happy with myself when I do.