I went to bed last night thinking that I had a pretty good idea what I was going to blog about, but the idea doesn't sound nearly as good now as it did last night. In fact, by now I can barely remember what the idea was. So I'll blog about playing the piano instead.
I enjoy piano music. I know many excellent pianists - some personally, and their music inspires me. We play the piano at church to accompany sacred hymns. We've had a piano in our house as long as I can remember, and I play it from time to time. The trouble is that I'm not very good at it. I can't read sheet music. My fingers aren't quick enough or accurate enough to reach the keys I need to hit by the time I need to hit them. My nieces are much better pianists than I am. Then again, they have some great teachers, and they definitely spend more time practicing than I do.
That's my problem. I don't practice enough. I'm sure that if I set my mind to it and set aside time to practice, I could gain some skill at it, but practicing playing the piano isn't very enjoyable because I feel like I'm not good enough at it. I'm embarrassed that, at 25 years old, I'm trying to gain a skill that my teenage-or-younger nieces already excel at. I don't practice playing the piano because I have little skill at it.
Of course, I see the error in my logic. I have to practice in order to improve my skill. If I want to become better at playing the piano, I have to try to play it now, even though I'm not very good at it, even though my prospects aren't very promising. I need to look at where my skill level is right now honestly, and figure out how to move forward from here. In essence, I'll never get better at playing the piano until I accept the fact that I'm not good at it now and become okay with that.
Though it's embarrassing to let others hear me play when I'm so bad at it and it's discouraging to make so many mistakes as I try to make progress, being able to play even basic songs on the piano is a skill I'd like to have, mostly because I love the music and I'd like to be able to make it myself. It's foolish of me not to practice playing the piano for the reason of needing practice at playing the piano. I'll get better, in time. It may take me a disappointingly long time to learn the basics, and I'd prefer to practice on my own so others don't have to hear me fail, but I can learn to play the piano. I just need to humbly accept my need to practice first.
2 comments:
"The perfect place to begin is exactly where you are right now." Dieter F. Uchtdorf
It's no good us thinking that because someone else is better or started younger that we cannot or should not do something. We are where we are, but we can choose whether to be stuck there or move forward. Lots of people older than you have begun new things. We should always be open to learning new things. Grandma Moses, a celebrated American folk artist, started painting in her late 70's.
When you have a pretty good idea of what to blog about, it is best to write down your thoughts and feelings as they will tend to change, just some advice I thought might be helpful.
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