Choice, Not Habit

Mark Crilley is an artist and writer who posts Youtube videos with tips on how to be a better artist and/or writer. One piece of advice he gave on making creative works came into my mind recently, and I thought I'd take it out of context and turn it into a blog post.

During his video titled "How to Do Good Creative Work: 10 Do's & Don'ts," he advised that "Everything should be a choice: not something done automatically out of habit." I agree with this advice. While good habits are helpful, it's also good to consider the choices we make, even the good ones, and ask ourselves why we do those things. Doing so can help us find the motivation to keep making those choices because it reminds us of what our motivations were from the start.

I am usually a helpful person. Lately, when I'm in an especially selfish or sour mood, I think that the main reason I help people is because they expect me to, because I have a duty to, or because I've developed a habit of doing so and I now lack the will-power to do otherwise. While any of those may be true, none of them are the reason I became a helpful person in the first place. I first started helping people because I wanted to, because I wanted to make people happy, and because I always felt good inside when I did that. And, yes, those are all selfish reasons to help others, but they are also better reasons than any of the ones I listed before them. The latter reasons are better because they're more motivating, more encouraging, and more likely to help me maintain the habit of helping others.

We shouldn't do anything - not even good things - just out of habit. Mark Crilley warned: "I feel that there is a danger in doing things automatically. You lose your humanity, in a way." Having agency, the ability and freedom to make choices, is part of what makes us human. When we allow our habits to decide our choices, we lose a part of ourselves that takes real effort to get back. But we should all try get that part back and make our choices deliberately because that will help us overcome bad habits and be more satisfied with the good habits we maintain. For too long, I have been a creature of habit. Over time, I hope to return to being a man of choice.

Spheres of Influence

Today, in Sociology class, we discussed some of the "circles" we live in and how the people who share those circles with us can influence our thoughts and behavior. For example, when our families and friends share their thoughts with us, we're likely to hear them out and bring our line of thinking more closely in-tune with theirs, so when a friend of mine says something in favor of a certain person or policy, I'm likely to reconsider any negative opinion I may have of that person or policy.

Naturally, the strength of this influence depends largely on the nature of the relationship. I'm less likely to be swayed by the political opinions of my neighbor than I am by those of my brother. However, as long as the person sharing their opinion with you also shares at least one circle with you, there will always be some influence.

There are many different circles or (because it'd make for a better title) spheres of influence. One's family is usually a strong circle. One's religious group can be a very strong circle as well. Each nation is a circle, but it's also split into the often much stronger inner circles of political parties. There are also circles for communities, neighborhoods, schools, workplaces, clubs, and friendships, to say nothing of the circles formed by ethnicities, nationalities, cultures, or any of the other traits that people use to define themselves.

Each person in any given circle is influenced by the other members of that circle, which can be pretty frightening. I don't want to be "influenced" by the people around me. However, given that this influence is occurring, it's important to know about, because now that I've realized that everyone I associate with, from my coworkers to my Facebook friends to literally everyone else I know, has some influence on me, I can decide whether to accept or reject that influence. For example, some of my Facebook friends hold opinions that differ from mine. While this difference of opinion is essential to a healthy society and it has helped me to moderate my views somewhat, I now know to be cautious so that their opinions don't completely change mine, at least, not without my consent.

The good news is that we are still each the masters of our own minds. We still control what we believe and what we think -- It's just that those in our circles have some influence over that as well. Think of it like  a gentle current in a lake. A boat floating in the middle of a lake will eventually drift away from the streams that feed the lake and toward the streams that drain it. However, any boat with a paddle and a knowledge of the prevailing current can decide whether they fight the current or follow it. Similarly, we can choose whether to listen to those in our social circles or not.

This Sociology class has been very interesting so far. It has taught me about the social structures I hardly noticed living in, and it has opened my eyes to some of the social forces that subtly influence my behavior. Now I need to decide, on a case by case basis, whether I'll allow those influences to prevail or not. Every voice I hear has an effect on me, but I am the one who decides whose voices I listen to.

The Unhealthily Selfish Servant

Somehow, I've developed a reputation of being helpful. Many people think highly of my ability and they think good of me in that they feel like they can expect me to do good. These people aren't usually wrong; I am a generally capable and habitually helpful person. The problem is that there are too many people who think this way about me. There are too many people who think of me when they need to ask someone for help.

I thought about listing some of the people I help regularly, but I don't want to embarrass them, and I don't want to toot my own horn too much, either. Nor do I want to discourage those I care for from continuing to ask for my help. I don't even want to dissuade other people from feeling like they can ask me for help. The only reason there are "too many" people who turn to me for help is that there is too little of me to answer them.

I am only one man, and I only have some much time and energy. Yes, I could use my time and energy more efficiently, and I'm taking steps to learn how to do that. In the meantime, there is only so much I can do. I will admit to wasting time on myself despite wishing that I could do more for others, and I recognise the contradiction in that. I struggle against my own wishes and the wishes of others. I want to help people, and I enjoy doing so, but. . .

I don't want to spend all of my working hours helping others, and I don't want to spend all of my time working. I am selfish. At times, I just want to watch Youtube or play games. I justify this by claiming that it's important to find balance and that a little bit of recreation is just as vital, spiritually and emotionally, as work is.

I also don't want to be taken advantage of. I don't think that's healthy for me or for the people who are taking advantage of me. And I don't want to feel like people are taking advantage of me or that everyone just wants a piece of me. That's not healthy either. I don't want to view every acquaintance of mine as a predator trying to snatch up a portion of my time and talent to consume on their needs and wants. I'm not a servant. I don't want people to think they can just ask me to help them and I will.

And yet, I do want people to feel like they can ask me for help. I want to be there for them. I want to be useful. I want to help.

I suppose that my problem is that I'm selfish. I want to be free to take all the time I want to do the things I want to do, and it annoys me that people keep asking me to cut into my downtime to help them. Yet, at the same time, I want to help others, at least partly because that helps me maintain my sense of self-worth. I feel good when I help others, and that good feeling is a large part of the reason I habitually do it.

But another part of the reason I habitually help others is because it is literally a habit. When people ask me for help, my default response is to say yes, not because I'm a good person, but just because that's my usual response. I feel like I'm "supposed" to help others and that I "have to" do the things I'm supposed to do. I've grown tired of giving service. It has started to feel like a habit and a chore.

I've lost the spark of service, and I need to reignite it. Just as it's not healthy for me to give up all of my free time in service to others because I'm "supposed" to, it's also not healthy for me to keep all of my free time to myself. But there I go, being selfish again, only thinking of what would be "healthy" for me. While my own emotional health is important, I also should consider the needs of others, and I should help others when I can, whether that contributes to my health or not.

I need to find some kind of balance. I need to learn how to do as much good as I can without burning out and becoming bitter. I need to learn how to get my needed rest and recreation in without wasting too much time. I need to learn how God wants me to spend my time and how much of my time He expects me to spend serving others.

Because I'm am a servant. I'm God's servant, if no one else's, and He wants me to serve others. It is, I believe, a large part of why I'm here on Earth. God wants me to serve. But in order to serve others without becoming angry or bitter, I need to find the perfect balance between serving others and serving myself.

Does Humanity Change?

In Maui's song, "You're Welcome," in Moana, Maui sings something similar to a line in another Disney song. In response to Moana's apparent speechlessness at his awesome presence, Maui sings "I see what's happening. . . You're face to face with greatness, and it's strange. You don't even know how you feel. . . It's nice to see that humans never change."

That last sounds an awful lot like a line from "Fixer Upper" from Frozen: "We're not saying you can change him, because people don't really change." I blogged about that line and about how people actually change all the time. Having already blogged about that, I didn't think it would make sense to blog about Maui's version of the falsehood, but his version has a contextual difference that completely changes the meaning of the line.

While the trolls in Frozen were singing about one person, the line from "You're Welcome" refers to humanity in general. Maui wasn't saying that Moana hadn't changed. He had never met her before; he had no way of knowing whether she had ever changed or not. However, he had met other humans before, presumably ages ago, and their reactions to him had apparently not been much different from how he thought Moana was reacting. I believe that when Maui said that "humans never change," he was referring to humanity as a whole. The strange thing is that, even though I know that individual humans can and do change, I'm less sure that humanity itself does.

We are all human, and human nature seems to come with the species. We all have the same natural impulses, albeit in varying strengths, and thus we all have a lot in common with the humans who lived hundreds, or even thousands of years ago. Human nature doesn't seem to be much different now from how it has been since the fall of Adam and Eve.

However, our spirits are different. Each spirit represents an individual, and each individual is unique. Any group of, say, five spirits will be very different from a group of five other spirits. In that sense, humanity changes with each generation, but how big is that change? Human spirits have many things in common with each other, despite each spirit being unique. We have similar emotional needs and desires, just as we have similar physical needs and desires. While each person is a unique individual, our hearts are all, arguably, the same.

So, while each person is different from every other person and each person changes many times over the course of their lives, it could be said that human nature, including both the natures of our bodies and of our spirits, doesn't change. At least, it doesn't change enough to claim that people today are much different than they were a hundred years ago, even though they are all, or almost all, different people. Personally, though I disagree with the trolls' claim that people don't change, I think I agree with Maui's claim that humanity itself probably doesn't.

Trusting a Good Samaritan

I am about to admit to having done something stupid. Like, seriously stupid. Like I-could-have-been-killed stupid. Earlier today, I did something that no one should ever do.

Earlier today, I missed a bus.

This isn't unusual. Buses have schedules, but rarely keep to them perfectly, so I try to arrive at a bus stop early, in case the bus is early. Today, I was merely "on time." I waited at the bus stop for what felt like quite a while, checking the time periodically, until I decided that I must have missed the bus. It must have been a few minutes early, and I could either wait for the next one, which would take about half an hour, or I could just walk to where the bus would take me, which would only take me about as long.

I decided to walk. Fresh air. Exercise. It was a little muddy in some places, and a fallen tree blocked my path at one point, but it was an adventure. And walking felt good anyway. It felt like I was making progress.

Until the bus drove by.

It hadn't been early. It had been late. About ten minutes late. In fact, it was so far off-schedule that it took me a moment to recognise what I was seeing. There was the bus I was supposed to be on. And it was slowing down.

There was a bus stop half a block away from me, and there was a man standing at it.

I ran. This, also, was not unusual for me. I've narrowly missed busses before, ran like mad, passed lines of cars stuck at traffic lights, and ended up catching the bus. Once, I had ran several blocks, through the rain, to catch a bus at this very bus stop.

But I did not catch this bus. The bus driver might not have seen me. Or he or she might have decided that, already being ten minutes behind schedule, he or she could not afford another delay. I don't blame the bus driver for not waiting for me. Admittedly, I did make an angry remark about how off-schedule the bus was, but really, I was just mad at myself for having chosen to walk rather than wait.

At this point, I had no choice but to walk, until I was offered another choice.

A car pulled up to the sidewalk. Through the window, the driver told me that he had seen what had happened. He expressed sympathy and offered to drive me ahead of the bus and drop me off at a bus stop so I could catch it.

I have faith in humanity. I was tired of walking. I felt ready for something to go right in my life. I felt that if God offered me a miracle, it would be disrespectful of me to throw it away. I felt that if a Good Samaritan was willing to go out of his way to help me, a total stranger, the least I could do to thank him was to accept his help. And I was carrying a readily-accessible pocketknife, just in case.

I got in the car.

This was stupid. This was exceptionally stupid. This was I-could-have-been-killed-or-kidnapped-and-no-one-would-have-even-known-I-was-missing-for-at-least-an-hour stupid. Fortunately, my dad knew I was on my way to his house, and that it should only take me about an hour from the time I left home to get there, so if I didn't show up for an hour or so after I should have, he probably would have called me, or at least texted me, and if I didn't respond, he might have started to suspect that something was wrong. With luck, my blunder would have been discovered within a few hours. But that was a VERY big "if." If anything had gone wrong, if the driver turned out not to have been a Good Samaritan, but a bad one, I would have been in DEEP trouble. I had made an incredibly bad decision. It's a mistake that I will not, I pray, ever make again. I cannot stress this enough: DO NOT DO WHAT I DID. DO NOT GET IN A STRANGER'S CAR. EVER.

But it's really too bad that we have to be that careful, that sceptical, that cynical. The driver turned out to be a genuinely nice guy. He was a Good Samaritan. He took me to the bus stop, just as he said he would. He had done an act of service for the good of mankind, and I was his grateful (and lucky!) beneficiary.

It's too bad there aren't more people like that. Or rather, it's too bad there are so many people who are not like that. It's too bad that there are some "Bad Samaritans" who claim to be sympathetic, just to get people's guards down, and then take advantage of those whom they had offered to help. It's too bad that it's such a terribly foolish decision to trust people.

I wish we lived in a world where we could trust Good Samaritans as much as I did earlier today. But we don't live in such a celestial world, and we can't afford to trust people that much. We can thank them, we can ask God to bless them, and in some cases, if we are extremely careful, we can accept some forms of help from them.

But we must never trust them.

Please, for your sake, for my sake, and for the sakes of everyone else who cares about you, think. Be careful. And never trust a "Good" Samaritan.

Undoing Decisions

In D&D, players make choices that affect their characters' builds. They chose a race and class for each of their characters. They chose their characters' backgrounds and personalities. They even have some say in what equipment their characters use, though you can never just decide that your character has many powerful magical items or thousands of gold pieces worth of armor and other goods. There are rules, but there are also always choices.

Having choices is great in that it allows you to personalize your characters' traits and skills to reflect your mental image of them. However, things get tricky when you make a wrong choice. For example, when I created Hector, my current D&D character, I knew I wanted him to be a paladin who also took some levels of cleric. I decided that I wanted Strength to be his strongest stat, followed by Constitution and Charisma, with Wisdom coming in fourth, but still being a bit above average. This turned out to be a bad decision. Wisdom is an important stat for clerics, and if you want to multiclass into cleric, it's essential. Upon further review of the rules for multiclassing, I realized that Hector, as I had created him, could not exist. His Wisdom was too low to meet the prerequisite.

Fortunately, I was given permission to change his stats. I made it so his Wisdom is now tied with his Charisma as his second-highest stats, and Constitution is now his fourth-highest or third-lowest stat. Unfortunately, life is not quite as forgiving. When we make decisions, it's not easy to take them back. In some ways, and in some cases, it's not even possible to take it back.

If you say something mean to someone, you never get to rewrite the past and decide that you didn't. In fact, that goes for every decision we make. Once we do anything, it's done, and it's impossible to change the fact that we did it.

Thankful, through the Atonement and forgiveness, we can sometimes escape from the consequences of some choices. If we sin and repent, it's almost like it never happened. Of course, it did happen, and some of its consequences will still linger, but its most dire consequences can be undone.

We can't truly undo anything. We can't change the past, and that includes not being able to take back decisions we made in the past. You just decided to read this, and that is a decision that you will never be able to take back. But you can try, and you can partially succeed. If you don't like what you just read, you can make an effort to forget it, or just let it fade from your memory. If you're worried about the time you wasted reading this, you can't get that back, but you can strive to use your time more wisely in the future. You can't take back your decision to read this, but the consequences of doing so don't have to be permanent.

We can't undo any of the things we've done or take back any of the decisions we've already made, but through the power of the Atonement, and/or a forgiving Game Master, we can sometimes change our minds and even change what consequences we will have to face.

Principles, But No Promises

At the close of the Priesthood Session of the October 2016 General Conference, President Monson spoke about the Word of Wisdom. He shared the story of a man who found himself in a life-or-death situation, climbing up a rope, knowing that if he fell, he would almost certainly die. When he had exhausted the last of his strength and it felt like his arms were about to give out,  he prayed, reminding God that he had always kept the Word of Wisdom, and that now he needed the promised strength. Thankfully, his prayer was answered and he was miraculously given the strength to climb to safety, but as I reviewed this story, it occurred to me that this story could have ended differently. God could have chosen not to answer the man's prayer. Despite having kept the Word of Wisdom, the man might not have been granted the strength he felt he'd been promised. Sometimes, we ask for a blessing we may deserve, and may even be owed, but God has other (better) plans.

I don't think we're promised miracles in the Word of Wisdom, and we're certainly not promised whatever miracle of physical strength or endurance we pray for. The Word of Wisdom is filled with good health advice which, if followed, will help us be stronger than we would have been and may help us qualify for divine aid, but it does not guarantee our success in every physical endeavor.

Of course, it couldn't hurt. Keeping the Word of Wisdom isn't likely to make anyone weaker. There may be a few medical exceptions, but for most people, keeping the Word of Wisdom will help them be stronger, tougher, and healthier than they otherwise would have been. But that still might not be strong enough, tough enough, or healthy enough. Sometimes, it's just your time. Not to be emo or anything, but death is inevitable, no matter which commandments you keep or how desperately you pray.

So, I hope we're not too terribly upset with God when we keep the Word of Wisdom and find that it's not enough. God knows better than we do. Whenever He withholds a blessing from us, He has very good reasons for doing so. We're not promised immortality or super-human strength for keeping the Word of Wisdom. Heck, we're not even promised that we'll be generally healthy. I know at least one strongly righteous person who isn't. And there's a reason for that. God may be the only one who knows what that reason is, but there is a reason. And if the man climbing the rope had lost his grip instead, there'd have been a reason for that, too, and it wouldn't have had anything to do with not living the Word of Wisdom faithfully enough. Sometimes, God doesn't give us the miracles we want, deserve, or even need. The Word of Wisdom is a great tool, and keeping it will certainly make us stronger and healthier, but that is not a guarantee that we'll always be strong and healthy enough.

The Confidence to Ask

I was reminded today that Easter is coming up in a few months, and General Conference is coming with it, so I had better start blogging about General Conference talks again before I run out of time (again).

President Eyring's Priesthood Session talk was about how Melchizedek Priesthood holders can help Aaronic Priesthood holders grow strong in Priesthood service. This mainly involves instilling in them the confidence that God can give them the power to do anything that is required of them in His service.

Hearing this message and pondering on it has caused me to wonder whether I have such confidence. Too often, I see myself as being too human, too timid, too lazy, and too talentless to fulfil the callings I've been given. I don't have the drive to talk to people. I don't have the skill to lead. I can serve; I am very good at offering service, but I don't always consider myself qualified to give the kind of service God asks of me.

Yet, theoretically, I know that God can help me. I know that He has great power, including the ability to give me power. I know that, in theory, God could give me all of the courage and confidence I lack. He certainly could grant me the power to be an excellent Melchizedek Priesthood holder, if I ask Him to.

The trouble is that I forget to ask. I don't know if it's that I just assume that God will automatically help me if I need His help to do something He asked me to do, or if I think His asking of me to do something is evidence that He thinks I can do it (even without His help). Unfortunately, God often asks us to do things we cannot do without His help, and He seldom grants us special help without our asking for it. I know that God can give any of us all the power we need, but first we need to ask for it.

So I suppose I do have the confidence that God can give me the power to do what He wants me to do; I just don't have much experience with that. The next time I feel overwhelmed, though, I'll try to remember to reach out to God for help. Thankfully, I know that I can always ask God to help me, and I know that He has the power to do so. Now I just need to remember to call upon that power and draw upon the help that I know God can offer me.

Inner Peace

I like the Kung Fu Panda movies, but they have no idea what "inner peace" is. In the first movie, there is a scene in which Master Shifu is meditating to the mantra of "inner peace," but his "peace" keeps getting disturbed by a sound that is almost impossible to hear unless you turn the volume up significantly higher than it would normally be set. I would have thought that, after years of training, Master Shifu would be able to block out such quiet distractions and maintain his "inner peace," but perhaps I shouldn't be too hard on him. After all, I'm still trying to develop the ability to maintain my peace and patience despite frequent, irritating distractions.

In life, there will always be turmoil. There will always be problems and irritations to bother us, and many people, myself included, find it difficult to remain peaceful sometimes. Fortunately, there are ways to find a true inner peace, a peace that endures despite external problems. I don't know how much faith I put in meditation, but I've heard good things about it and I believe that it's a close cousin to prayer. Spending a few moments in prayer and/or meditation, perhaps with some relaxing music playing in the background, can help one calm their soul and find inner peace.

Now, one may say that seeking inner peace isn't very productive. After all, staying calm isn't going to solve the world's problems. And I agree that meditating through a crisis, hoping that it all just blows over, isn't a practical solution. However, finding and maintaining inner peace can help you find a solution. Master Oogwa, Master Shifu's teacher, explained this with an analogy. He compared Shifu's mind to a reflection pool. When the water was agitated, the ripples distorted the reflection, making it difficult to see clearly, but when the water was still, the reflection was smooth and clear, like a mirror. Merely finding peace won't solve all your problems, but it may help you clearly see the solutions.

I don't think people are at their most productive when they're angry or irritated, and I don't think they're at their best when they're easily distracted and annoyed. If we really want to solve our problems, we would do well to remain calm and try to think things through clearly, not letting the storms of life distract us or disturb our peace. I don't know if any of the characters in Kung Fu Panda learned to master this kind of inner peace other than Master Oogwa, but we can, and it may help us solve our problems if we do.

Tolerant of Intolerance

One of my political beliefs that I feel might be unpopular is that people should have a legal right to be jerks. Let me quantify that.

Let's say I have an apple, and you want it. I have a right to keep my apple, no matter how badly you want it.

Let's say I have two apples, and I'm only hungry enough to eat one. I still have a right to keep the second apple, no matter how badly you want it.

Let's say I have a dozen apples, and you would like to buy one. No matter how much you offer me, I have a legal right not to trade any of my apples for your money, even if I made a similar trade with someone else earlier. They're my apples. I get to decide if, when, to whom, and for what I trade them.

Let's say I have one thousand apples, and they will all rot if they don't get eaten soon, and that you are literally starving and you will die if I do not give you an apple. I still have a legal right to keep the apples. It would not be morally right for me to keep my apples to myself, but I should have a legal right to do so.

Scrooge was not a criminal; he was just a jerk, and people should have a legal right to be jerks.

However, people should not have a right to physically attack each other or to destroy or steal each other's property. There is a point where behavior becomes criminal. My legal right to be a jerk to you may extend to saying mean things and being selfish, but it doesn't extend to physical violence against you or anything you own.

So, if one person doesn't want to do business with someone else because they don't like the color of their skin, I think they should have a legal right to refuse to do business with them, just as the person of the disliked skin color has a legal right to take their business elsewhere. If a person doesn't want to bake a cake for someone else because they disagree with that person's views of marriage, they have a right not to. It'd be rather petty of them, but I think that people should have a right to be petty, selfish jerks.

People who are discriminated against by other people often call for tolerance, but I'm calling for tolerance, too. I'm calling for people to be tolerant of other people's desires and opinions. I'm calling for people to be tolerant of other people's property rights, and the selfish ways in which they use them. I'm calling for people to be tolerant of other people's intolerance, rather than trying to legally force others to cater to them. Sure, it's rude and selfish and probably morally wrong, but it's not our place to legislate morality, and people have a right to be jerks.

Thankful for the Rain

Right now, it is raining. California has been in a drought for a long time, and it may still be in a drought for all I know, but right now, it is raining, and it's been raining quite well for some time now. And I'm thankful for that. It's not always the most pleasant weather to travel in, especially since I don't have a car, but we really need the rain, and I'm glad we're getting it.

I'm also, to a much lesser extent, grateful for the storms of life. Before we were born, we lived with God in heaven. There was no darkness, no hardship, no "rain." We were in a drought, and without a good drizzle, nothing would be able to grow.

Now, here we are, on Earth, under the clouds. Now, there's plenty of darkness and hardship, far more than we feel like we need, but just as a few heavy storms aren't even on their own to reverse years of Californian drought, a few decades of hardship aren't enough to counter pre-mortal eternities of ease. It takes sustained rainfall to refill reservoirs, and it takes a lifetime of difficulty to grant us eternal benefits.

So, God carefully controls the amount of "rainfall" we get. He never gives us enough to completely flood us (as I hope He won't with California), but He also makes sure we never have so little that we experience another drought. We need sustained periods of manageable hardship, and that's exactly what God usually gives us.

And there are many benefits to both kinds rain, both literal and figurative. The rain helps things to grow; in fact, growth wouldn't be possible without it. As the literal rain fills reservoirs, the figurative rain gives us experiences we can draw upon when we need wisdom. And both rains give us reasons to be grateful for the blessings we have, which is reason enough to be thankful for them.

I am grateful for the rain, both the literal and figurative storms of life. It's sometimes hard to be grateful for them, but right now, being dry and warm under a sturdy shelter and being happy after a day that went well, I am grateful that we occasionally have to experience some rain.

How to Pray Like a Warrior

In the blog post I mentioned yesterday, which can be found here, the author, Maurice W. Harker shared an example of a warrior's prayer and how it might be adapted to our spiritual battle.

“Father, please grant that I will see the enemy in time to win the war.

Please help me to observe and understand the fighting techniques of the enemy.

Help me to develop techniques and weapons sufficiently effective to win my battles.

Please help me to work hard to train…to become stronger, faster and more precise with my skills.

Please help me to be strong, precise and fast so I can protect my family.

And help me to always remember, so that I will be filled with motivation and courage, why I am fighting.”

 

With just a little change to the wording, an excellent prayer for modern day warriors can be developed:

 

“Father, please grant me an increase in the Spirit of Discernment, so I will recognize Satanic attacks in time to win each battle.

Father, please help me to observe, discern and understand the attacks and fighting methods Satan will try on my mind, heart and spirit.

Help me to discover and develop techniques and weapons (actions, words, thoughts, feelings and chemical switches) sufficiently effective to win the battles that come my way.

Please fill me with the desire to work hard to train…to become stronger, faster and more precise with these techniques and weapons…sufficient to win the battles.

Please help me to remember why I am fighting and why I am training so hard…so I will be filled with the motivation and courage necessary to protect my life, my (future) wife, my (future) children and our freedom!”

I already knew that it's important to pray for some of these things, like the Spirit of Discernment and help with developing effective temptation-resisting techniques, but I hadn't thought of praying for motivation and desire to train and fight. I guess I had figured that we had to supply our own motivation, since resisting temptation has to be our choice it's uncommon for God to place any influence on a person's mind. I didn't realize (or perhaps had forgotten) that God is willing to increase our desire and motivation to choose the right, if we ask Him to.

If you find yourself facing tough spiritual battles and you find that you could use an edge in those conflicts, I'd encourage you to look over these warrior's prayers and pick one or two things that you may not have been praying for, and start praying for those things more regularly. I plan on doing so, and I feel confident that it will help me develop a stronger desire to do what's right. Perhaps some of these suggestions could help you, too.

Pray Like a Warrior

Sorry I couldn't blog last night. Our internet was out. In fact, it's still out. I'm blogging from school right now.

Recently, my mother shared a blog post someone had written about different styles of prayers. The blog post related that farmers often pray for God to help them with forces beyond their control, like the weather and the growth of their crops. On the other hand, warriors tend to pray for help with things they can control. They pray for the motivation, courage, and wisdom to train hard and fight well.

The blogger suggested that, as all of us are engaged in a spiritual war, we would do well to learn from the warrior's prayer. It's true that there are many forces beyond our control that we could certainly use God's help with, but it may be more important for us to gain the wisdom we need to work with the forces within our control. God can't fight our battles for us, and He can't take them away from us. We have to win our battles on our own power, but we can ask for God to help us increase and direct that power.

I believe that God most frequently helps those who are willing to do their own part. It's easy to pray for God to take control and make life easier for us; it's harder to pray for, and then exercise, the strength to face the challenges and difficulties of life. But that's what we have to do. It's what we came here to do. One of the purposes of mortality is to face challenges and learn how to overcome them. So rather than praying for God to influence His control to make life better for us (which we can still do, by the way), it may be more beneficial for us to pray for the strength to take control for ourselves and for the wisdom to use that strength well. We are all warriors here. Perhaps we'd do well to learn to pray like them.

Moana's Dilemma - To Lead or To Leave?

You know how I said there's probably a blogworthy thought somewhere in Moana's most popular song, How Far I'll Go? Well, I've found one. In this song, Moana wrestles between what she wants to do and what she's supposed to do, however, the situation is more complicated than that.

As far as I understand it, it's not so much that she wants to cross the ocean, it's that she feels compelled to. She mentions trying to avoid the ocean, but feeling herself being drawn back to it. She feels like it's calling out to her, much like any prompting or calling we might receive.

On the other hand, her duty is really more of a tradition. She can't go cross the ocean because she's supposed to stay on the island and take over as village chief, mostly just because she's the current chief's daughter.

This puts her in an interesting moral dilemma. Should she do what she feels she's supposed to do or should she do what she's told she's supposed to do? Should she be true to her passion or to her responsibility? Should she follow her heart or the guidance of her parents? It's a tricky puzzle, and I look forward to learning more about her situation so I could make a better judgement call. In the meantime, I'll try to make the best judgement I can with the information I have.

If I were in her shoes (or lack thereof, as she's one of the few (but by no means only) Disney Princesses who go barefoot for their whole movies), I'd want to figure out how deep inside of me this call to the ocean is. If it's just that I like the ocean and I like the idea of maybe crossing it someday, then I'd try to put those impulsions out of my mind and focus on being a good chief for my village. However, if I felt that the call came from deep down inside of me, if I felt that crossing the ocean was what I was born to do. . . I don't know.

On one hand, I know I could be wrong about what I think I was born to do. I don't know myself very well, and I certainly don't know God's plan or my exact place in it. It's entirely possible for me to think that God wants me to do something, only to learn later that that was just something that I wanted to do.

On the other hand, I also know that my parents could be wrong instead. Just because I was born to a chief doesn't mean I was born to be a chief. If I could be wrong about what I was born to do, so could others. And tradition isn't the best reason to do anything. There are many good traditions, but there are also many bad traditions and traditions that just don't matter.

It would make sense for someone who's born to be a chief to receive chiefing lessons since their early childhood, and it'd make sense to choose as chief someone who had been preparing for that role practically from birth, so if someone is thought to be destined to be chief, they've got good odds of becoming the best person for the job, but that doesn't guarantee that they'll be the best person for the job, and even if they were, that doesn't mean that they should be the one to do it.

For example, let's say that two people, say, Ralph and Felix, are each to be given a job. The two jobs are stacking boxes and painting signs. Let's say that Ralph is better at stacking boxes than Felix is. That suggests that Ralph should stack boxes and Felix should paint signs, but if painting signs is more important than stacking boxes, and if Ralph is also better at painting signs than Felix is, perhaps Ralph should paint the signs and Felix should stack the boxes.

Perhaps Moana would be the best choice for chief, but if crossing the ocean (and subsequently saving the world, or whatever she does in the movie) is more important than having the best possible chief, maybe she should do that instead.

Unfortunately for Moana, she doesn't seem to know why she's supposed to cross the ocean, and while it may feel important, there's no solid evidence to suggest that it actually is. Then again, I also caught glimpses of scenes where the self-described "village crazy lady" says something about a legend and a demigod, and she might have mentioned something about preventing some disaster, and this all sounds pretty important, but how sure are we that any of it is even true?

Again, I'd love to know more about Moana's situation. If I knew how strong the call was or how credible the legend was, I might have an easier time making the decision Moana did, but as it stands, I think that she probably should have stayed. Maybe I put too much faith in my leaders and/or too little faith in my own gut instincts, but if there's any discrepancy between the two of them, I consider it more likely that I'm wrong than that they are. If I had been Moana, that movie might have gone, and ended, very differently. I'm not sure it would have been the right choice to stay, but given what I know about the situation and myself, it's the choice I think I would have made.

Love Trumps Hate

Sorry in advance for getting political again. Yesterday was Martin Luther King Jr. Day, and I completely missed an opportunity to blog about my favorite of his quotes.

Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.

Donald Trump is going to be inaugurated as President of the United States this Friday, and the big problem that some people have with that idea is how hateful Trump is or seems to be. He's not afraid of expressing his opinions, and he seems to have strongly negative opinions about some people and groups. He has been accused of being racist and sexist, and those who admit to having voted for him have been subjected to similar accusations, and that's where things turn sour, in my opinion.

It's one thing to have opinions and to express those opinions, but let's refrain from labels and insults, please. We're better than that. One of the campaign slogans against Trump was "Love Trumps Hate," and my response to that is "Prove it," or rather, "Yes, it does, so let's prove it." Let's prove that people don't need to hate those they disagree with. Let's prove that getting angry with your political opponents isn't the best way to win over the public opinion. Some of those who oppose Trump have insulted his intelligence, relating his communication skills to those of an angry child. Let's prove that our conversations can be more civilized than his tweets.

Regardless of how we feel about the President-Elect, there's not much we can do about the election now, and arguing and getting angry was never going to solve anything anyway. For the record, Trump wasn't my first choice for President, but he wasn't my last choice, either. I was leaning toward Ben Carson for a while, but in the end, I wrote in McMullin, not that any of that matters anymore. If we want to have a discussion about politics, policies, the role of government, how strong it should be, and other related topics, we can do that, but let's make sure that it remains a discussion. Regardless of anyone's feelings or opinions on these or any subjects, let's try not to get angry at each other. I'm tired of all the hatred that comes out of political "discussions." Let's try love instead.

Getting angry with each other and hating our political opponents isn't going to make things better. Having peaceful, respectful conversations might. At any rate, we won't get rid of the hatred some claim Trump represents by expressing how much we hate him and his supporters. Personally, I'm willing to give him a chance and his supporters the benefit of a doubt. There weren't many good options this time around, and many of them dropped out before election night. Given the options we had, I don't blame those who ultimately voted for Trump, and I certainly wouldn't accuse them all of being racist and sexist. If I were to have voted for Trump, I would have done so in the hopes that he'd have the business experience needed to fix the economy, not because I agree with every opinion he has ever expressed.

Anyhow, now I've expressed my opinion and allowed myself to talk more about politics than I ever wanted to on this blog. I hope I have also made my point about the counterproductivity of hatred in speaking against hatred. I dislike anger, and I don't have to get angry to say that. Love is far more useful for establishing peaceful communication and cooperation, and if we express more love and less hatred, then there will be at least that much less hatred in the world. And I think we can agree that the world could use a lot less hatred than it has now.

We Do Need to Pray

Where You Are isn't the only Moana song I've had playing in my head the last few days. The villain song, Shiny, pointed out an interesting possible sub-theme that I'll want to explore after I've actually seen Moana (which I have no immediate plans to do). Also, the first song I stumbled upon, How Far I'll Go, which is basically the new Let It Go, probably has at least one blogworthy line in it. But the Moana song that's on my mind right now is You're Welcome.

In this song, the demigod Maui lists a few of the things he has done for the Pacific Islanders, bragging on himself a little bit, but ostensibly telling them that they don't have to thank him for any of that and that they're welcome. Unfortunately, at one point during this song, he makes a very poor choice of words:

"You don't need to pray. It's okay. You're welcome."

Now, I'm sure he meant "You don't need to pray [to me to thank me for all of those marellous things I did for you]." But even if that is what he meant to say, that's still not a good message. God does want us to pray to Him to thank Him for what He does for us, and there are several reasons we should.

First, thanking God for our blessings reminds us that we have blessings to thank Him for. It's a way of counting our blessings, and there are many blessings that come from doing that, as we see in the hymn, Count Your Blessings.

Also, thanking God reminds us where our blessings come from. Every good thing in our lives are gifts (or loans) from God, even the things we think we earned or are entitled to. Acknowledging this can help us feel indebted to God, which can help us want to keep His commandments to thank and repay Him.

And I've heard a rumor that those who thank God for their blessings generally tend to get more blessings. Just saying.

It's good and important for us to thank God for what He does for us, and there are countless other good and important reasons to pray to Him. So, even if God doesn't feel the need to be praised and thanked, we should still praise and thank Him, if only for our own sakes. God doesn't have an emotional need for us to thank Him, but He will still never tell us that we don't need to pray.

The Big Picture of Small Contributions

In today's Elder's Quorum lesson, one elder raised the question of how we can see the "big picture" or the mission of the church while they focus on their individual assignments. It is easy for members of the church to focus on our specific tasks and lose sight of how we are all working together to build up the kingdom of God. Unfortunately, no one had a satisfactory answer to the elder's concern, but another mentioned that every task we have in he church helps somebody, and all those "somebodies" we help in small and simple ways are part of the kingdom of God. For example, when we bare our testimonies, everyone who hears us is strengthened by our witness, and if any of those people are members of the church, then that helps strengthen the church. I agree that it is difficult to see how our small contributions help at all. After all, we are each but one person, and one person can only do so much. But if many people act together with a common goal, their efforts can combine to great effect. As one last example, my blog posts probably only reach a few handfuls of people, but I'm not the only member who posts spiritual things on Facebook, and as we share positive messages with each other and our other friends, we can have a strong, positive impact on those around us. Each individual can only touch so many hearts, but if we all do what we can, together, we can accomplish much more than any one could do alone.

Happiness Where You Are

I am learning that you can count on Disney to create catchy songs with interesting (and thankfully, blogworthy) moral messages. I haven't seen Moana yet, but I've heard most, if not all, of its songs on Youtube, and I think I have a fair grip on at least the beginning of the plot. The title character, Moana lives on a Pacific island and is the daughter of the village chief. One day, she'll grow up to be the chief of the village, but she dreams of crossing the ocean instead. (Classic Disney, starring children and teenagers daring to go beyond the bounds set by their parents and society, but that's a blog post for another day.)

"Where You Are," which I'm pretty sure is the first song of Moana, features Moana's father making the argument for why she should stay on the island. Beside the fact that the village will need a leader, he argues that the island isn't a bad place to be. "We're safe and we're well provided," he says. "In time, you'll learn, just as I did, you must find happiness right where you are."

The reason I said Disney songs contain "interesting" moral messages rather than "good" moral messages is that I'm often not convinced of how true they are. I'm sure that "You can find happiness right where you are," as Moana sings later, but I'm not sure that you "must," as her father says.

First of all, you don't have to find happiness. It's completely optional. If you don't want to find happiness, that's your choice. But let's assume, for the sake of argument, that everyone wants to find happiness and that it's essential that they do. People still may not need to find happiness where they are. People can move. Circumstances can be changed. If you're not happy with your present circumstances, there's often something you can do about that. For example, Moana didn't really have to find happiness on her island. She could sail out and find happiness on another island.

However, that is sometimes not an option. Sometimes, we can't change or leave our present circumstances, and, in those cases, Moana's father's advice makes sense and Moana's realization is comforting. When we're locked into our circumstances, we would do well to make the best of things. Even when our circumstances are unpleasant and there's nothing we can do about that, we can still find happiness, and, for our own sakes, we must. We may not have to find happiness right where we are, but it's comforting to know that we always can, and we'd be happier if we did.

So, do we have to find happiness where we are? Technically, no. We can usually change our circumstances, and even when we can't, we don't really have to be happy. Strictly speaking, we don't have to find happiness where we are, but the good news is that we always can.

Waiting to be Asked

As I read President Uchtdorf's talk, Learn from Alma and Amulek, a few parts of his message struck a chord with me. One of them was the part where he encouraged church leaders to be like Alma and find their Amuleks. President Uchtdorf explained that we all need help, no matter how capable we are,  and that there are many people who are willing to serve and help, "but they are reluctant to begin. Often they wait to be asked."

That was the situation my paladin character, Hector, found himself in when some tough customers were acting increasingly menacingly toward his friend. He wanted to step in and help, but he didn't want to butt in. So, instead, he waited for his friend to ask for his help, but he never did. Hector did very little in that role-playing session, and I'm afraid that many of us make the same mistake.

Too often, we see someone who could use help, or we see an opportunity to serve, but we don't really feel up to it, or we don't feel like it's our place to sign up, pipe in, or help out. We're willing to help, if others want our help, but just to be sure they want our help, we wait for them to ask.

But the interesting thing is that we already are being asked to help, just not by those who need the help. And because those requests are quiet and subtle, we tend to find them easy to overlook. Most of us wouldn't turn down a calling or refuse a request for help, but perhaps we don't realize that the Holy Spirit frequently calls to us and asks us to help others, just as God has asked us, in a general sense, to help all mankind. We don't need to wait for others to ask us to help them; God already did.

Even knowing that, we may be reluctant. Perhaps we should ask God to give us the confidence and courage to volunteer for the work God has asked us to do. Or perhaps we should ask God to inspire others to ask for our help so we'll know they want it. Either way, God can help us overcome our apprehensions and roll up our sleeves. Many of us are willing to help labor in the vineyard. Perhaps we and the world would be better off if we stopped just waiting to be asked.

Should Hector Have Killed the Ruffians?

One thing I like about playing D&D is that it puts me into the shoes of a paladin and gives me many opportunities to ask, "In this situation, what would a paladin do?"

In my most recent gaming session, my character, Hector, was at a tavern, watching a bard from his adventuring party perform. At one point, a group of tough customers asked, or rather, demanded, that the bard play a particular song - a song the bard didn't know. The bard made his apologies, but the ruffians continued to insist that he play the song, and they very nearly became violent. Fortunately, the party was able to persuade another patron of the tavern to teach the bard the song, which the bard then performed, assuaging the ruffians. The next day, while travelling to another town, our party ran into the same ruffians, who stopped us on the road, eyed up our equipment, and then let us pass without further incident.

It was abundantly clear by both of these encounters that these ruffians were bad news. They almost attacked our bard for not playing a song he didn't know, and they at least considered the idea of attacking and robbing us on the road. In both cases, Hector was ready to step in, sword in hand, if things got ugly. Fortunately for the ruffians, things didn't escalate that far. But now that I've had some time to think about it, I wonder if Hector shouldn't have done something about these thugs anyway.

These fellows were very clearly thugs. It was obvious, from both our encounters, that they teetered on the brink of violence and for no good reason. Since things never actually got violent between them and our party, the ruffians survived, and I'm quite certain that, in their fictional world, they will go on to harass, attack, kill, and rob other fictional characters, and, as a paladin, Hector probably shouldn't just stand back and let that happen.

But what choice does, or did, he have? He didn't have any legal authority. Trying to talk them out of being criminal thugs wouldn't have done any good. And, since they didn't attack anyone in his presence, he couldn't fight back in defence. If he wanted to stop them from attacking others, he would have had to take some initiative and attack them first. But attacking first is almost always morally wrong. I just wonder, would it have been wrong in this case?

I don't have a good answer for what Hector should have done. It's a moral dilemma that I'll probably still be puzzling over for a while. How sure do you have to be that somebody's going to hurt someone else before you decide not to give them the chance? How aggressive against you or one of your friends does a person have to be before you decide to stand your ground? Morally speaking, Hector may have done the right thing by keeping his sword sheathed and letting the ruffians live, but I'm not 100% sure that was the right thing to do, and I'm even less sure that that's what a paladin would have done.

The Power in the Book

Elder LeGrand R. Curtis Jr. of the Seventy gave a talk titled "There is Power in the Book," with "the Book" referring to the Book of Mormon. However, is he gave examples of people's experiences with the Book of Mormon, I gained an understanding of why others might be wary about the power in the book.

Most of those that Elder Curtis described felt compelled to read the book. Many of them couldn't put it down. The book was also very convincing, and it often filled its readers with powerful emotions.

Fortunately, the emotion the Book of Mormon most frequently fills people with is joy. Being convincing isn't a bad thing because the book is true (or at least, I believe it's true, perhaps because I've read it). And those who have felt compelled to read the Book of Mormon have had their lives change for the better as a result of that. The Book of Mormon is a good, but powerful, book.

Though, if one didn't think the Book of Mormon was good, I can see why they might be worried about it. Elder Curtis told the conversion story of Nicholas Ofosu-Hene, who spotted a Book of Mormon but tried to ignore it because "he had been told that it was evil." However, he found the book impossible to ignore. "He felt strangely attracted to it." Eventually, "he picked it up [and] felt impelled to start reading it." If I believed that a book could be cursed or possessed or evil, and I heard this account, I might suspect that this book was.

But as Jesus said, "ye shall know them by their fruits." While the power of the Book of Mormon can seem intimidating, it is a good power:

President Ezra Taft Benson taught: “There is a power in the book which will begin to flow into your lives the moment you begin a serious study of the book. You will find greater power to resist temptation. You will find the power to avoid deception. You will find the power to stay on the strait and narrow path.”

Resisting temptation, avoiding deception, and staying on the strait and narrow path are all very good things. I could use that kind of power. Far from being afraid of this power, we should seek it and learn to draw upon it.

Elder Curtis said "The greatest power of the Book of Mormon is its impact in bringing us closer to Jesus Christ." Now, that impact might be a bit stronger than some people are entirely comfortable with, but it's not that strong on everyone, and for those whom the Book of Mormon does effect strongly, it proves to be a great blessing in their lives. The power of the Book of Mormon is a good thing, though I must admit that the book can seem frightfully powerful.

Teaching Optional

Wondering if Elder Holland had said anything about whether teaching is an essential part of Home and Visiting Teaching, I reviewed his talk and found that teaching is, in fact, optional. He said that "a monthly visit in each home is still the ideal the Church would strive for," and that we have a "scriptural mandate to 'visit the house of each member,'" but it would seem that visiting is the essential element, and teaching isn't.

The closest he got to talking about teaching was when he suggested sending messages to those we are unable to visit:

To help address special needs, we might send a scriptural quote or a line from a general conference talk or a Mormon Message drawn from the wealth of material on LDS.org.

 Of course, teaching gospel messages while we do our Home and Visiting Teaching is still a good idea. We are to uplift and help each other in any way(s) we can, and teaching uplifting and ennobling messages can help with that. But I had always thought that Home Teaching meant sharing the First Presidency Message out of the latest Ensign, and now that I've learned that Home Teaching actually means something completely different, I thought I'd share that with all of you.

Like I said the other day, teaching gospel-themed messages is not the most important part of Home and Visiting Teaching, and now I've learned that it's not even important at all. What is important is that we reach out to our families in love, and visit them in their homes at least once a month, or however often we can. What's important is that we love them and that they know that we love them. Gospel messages are wonderful, and sharing such messages with our families can be a great way to show that we care for them, but there are better ways to do that, and if all we're doing for our families is teaching them messages, we could be doing better. Yet, if our Home and Visiting Teaching families know that we love them and that we're watching out for them, we're doing pretty well as Home and Visiting Teachers, whether we're actually teaching them anything or not.

Humility ≠ Dishonesty

I saw this on Facebook and felt that it was important enough to share here.

There are some misconceptions about what humility means, and there is some confusion regarding self-esteem, particularly considering President Ezra Taft Benson's famous talk about pride. However, while we're not supposed to be proud or boastful, that doesn't mean we need to be dishonest. If a person is a good artist, it wouldn't necessarily be boastful for them to admit that. If a person is strong, it would be dishonest for them to say otherwise. If a person has a talent (and all people do), they would serve God better by using that talent than by bashfully covering it up.

Another quote that I found on Facebook argues that we should think more highly of ourselves:

Far from wanting us to hate ourselves for our faults and weaknesses, God wants us to love ourselves and develop our strengths. Yes, we should work on our weaknesses and to do that we have to acknowledge them, but we don't have to focus on them or let them negatively affect our opinions of ourselves. It is my firm belief that God wants us to have high self-esteem, and to even be proud of ourselves.

God doesn't want us to think we're worthless; Satan does. Besides, it's simply not true. We all have great value, regardless of our talents and abilities, or lack thereof. And we all have impressive talents and abilities, no matter what we think of ourselves. Satan uses lies and exaggerations to try to distract us from our true value and potential. Don't let him. Tell him (and yourself, if you need to) that you are a child of God whose value is greater than all the treasures of the earth and whose power and abilities far exceed his. That may sound boastful, but it's true, and it's important to remember that. Humility is an important trait to develop, but that doesn't mean we have to lie to ourselves or forget about who we are.