Despite the Storm

It's raining pretty hard in my corner of the world. Some people have lost power. It's pretty rough out there. Fortunately for me and my family, we have adequate shelter. We're safe, and even mostly comfortable, despite the storm outside.

Similarly, we can, if prepared, enjoy relative comfort and safety, despite the more figurative storms of life. There are many external challenges that can shake us and disturb our peace, but we don't have to let them. With sufficient resilience, we can stay strong and calm, despite the storms of life.

Naturally, this is easier said than done, and I need to work on this as much as anybody and more than most. Yet, I know that it's possible to have calm and peace, despite the storms of life, and not only when they pass.

I'm grateful that I had good shelter from tonight's storm, and I hope that I can develop the resilience I need to withstand life's figurative storms as well.

I Am Not A Stoic

I have a passing interest in stoic philosophy and some desire to adopt it, but an experience this afternoon and evening has shown me that I still have a lot to learn. The stoics believe (among other things) in focusing on that which is within our control and not worrying about that which is not. This afternoon, I failed to do the latter. I worried. There was a perceived problem that I could do nothing about, at least not at the moment, but I still worried about it.

And, as it turned out, I needn't've worried. The perceived problem resolved itself, and I learned that I had worried for nothing. Yet, even if action was required on my part, and I needed to do something to solve to problem, worrying about it still wouldn't've helped. Sure, I'd've needed to act, and I'd've needed to have had sufficient motivation to act, but any amount of worry beyond that would have been a waste of emotional energy.

This afternoon and evening, I worried about a problem more than I needed to, and my day was worse off for it. I should instead have been more pragmatic, explored what options I had for what I could and/or needed to do, and made a plan from there. I should have focused on that which I could control, rather than worrying about that which I couldn't.

While I remain a student of philosophy, including stoic philosophy, my poor emotional control continues to prove that I am not a stoic, at least not yet. But I'm not going to worry about that. Instead, I'm going to work on it, to try to retain the wisdom I gained this evening, and to try to control my emotions the next time I'm tempted to worry.

Christian Values

As part of our Family Scripture study this evening, my family and I read Galatians 5:22, in which Paul (I think) lists some of the fruits of the spirit: "But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, [and] faith." As I read this list, I thought of how it's a list, not only of desirable blessings worth seeking, but of values and virtues worth practicing. We should express love for each other and for all mankind. We should express and share joy. We should make peace and practice patience. We should be gentle and try to be good. These are among the core tenets of our faith. These are the Christian values we should strive to embody and promote.

Some people try to use the idea of Christian values in order to try to enforce or forbid certain behaviors or lifestyles, but controlling others isn't what Christianity is about. We Christians should seek to cleanse the inward vessel and lead by example. We should practice the virtues we wish others would also practice. If we want others to live up to certain standards or uphold certain values, we should uphold those standards and values as well. Then others, seeing our example, may, even without prodding, decide to reflect our behavior.

These are good, Christian values. I would like to see them practiced more in the world. But first, in order to help them spread throughout the world, we should practice them in our homes and in our hearts.

Out of the Sower's Hands

For family scripture study tonight, my family and I reviewed The Parable of the Sower. In this parable, the sower casts seeds, which fall on various kinds of ground. The seeds that fall on good soil grow, but the seeds that fall on lesser soil don't. One thing that struck me about this parable is that, unlike in The Parable of the Vineyard, there's nothing more the sower can do than simply cast the seeds. Once the sower has done their work, the rest of the process isn't up to them. It's literally out of their hands.

So it often is for us. We can share the message of the Gospel, but it's up to the hearers to receive it. If they choose not to listen, there's not much more we can do. People have agency, and that includes the ability to choose what they want to believe. Granted, we're not completely powerless in this. We can try to share our message as clearly and convincingly as possible, which includes speaking to the needs of those with whom we share it, and we can try to find and teach those who would be particularly receptive. But once we've said our peace and those we've spoken to have heard it, we'll have done about all we can do.

So, if you share a message, and the ones you share it with don't accept it, don't despair. It was necessarily any failing on your part. People can choose for themselves whether they'll accept the message or not. All we have to do is share it. Once the message has left our lips, it's not up to us anymore. Then it's up to God, the Spirit, and the soil on which the seeds were sown.

Finding Joy

Every so often, I like to look for joy in the little things, like the shininess of a wet, smooth rock, the satisfaction of getting something clean, or the pleasant sound small stones make when they clink together. Such little joys would have been easy to overlook or to write off as just a small pile of rocks, but my evening would have been worse for doing so. Noticing and appreciating such little things takes deliberate, conscious thought, but it's well worth the effort of putting in the practice. Heck, the sound of my keyboard is somewhat pleasant, now that I think about it, and there's something satisfying about seeing words slowly filling up a page. The website I'm using has a functional, but charming minimalist design, with a few bright accents. And the room I'm sitting in has its charms as well. There's beauty in so many things, if we have a mind to look for them.

Many people think that joy is something we can earn. Joy is supposed to be the reward for achieving something we've striven for. Yet, we can find joy simply in appreciating things, like a gentle hum or a warm glow. There's probably something beautiful or charming near you right now. You just need to notice it. And if you can find it, and find joy in it, your life will have more joy in it than it did a moment ago, and we'll both be all the happier for it.

God's Time

Story time is weird. I sometimes write in an ongoing story I'm writing for myself, and the passage of time happens so strangely in this story. Today, I wrote a good deal, and the characters in the story went through weeks of experiences in what was only a few hours for me. At other times, I'm busy with other things, so the characters in the story can be stuck in a moment in time for days in real time, only for me to get a few minutes, advance their story by a few seconds, and make them wait another few days to see what happens next. I control the flow of time in their world. I can fast forward or skip through scenes if I find them uninteresting. I can backtrack to redo something I changed my mind about. I can write what's going to happen in their future and then build up a path that'll lead to that. I am their world's god of fate and time.

This makes me wonder how God sees fate and time in our world. Being omniscient, He can probably see every moment at once, past and future. Yet, He can also have an influence in real time. For example, when He cleared my esophagus immediately after I received a Priesthood Blessing last night, He knew exactly when to give me that blessing for maximum effect. Now, He might have set that up in advance, or He might have gone back from some point in the future and tweaked the result with the benefit of hindsight.

I have no idea how the flow of time works for God. Maybe we aren't supposed to have any idea how it works. Maybe it's supposed to be a mystery, or maybe the truth is so complex, our mortal minds can't wrap our heads around it. However it works, I'm just glad that it works and that God's timing, however He manages it, is almost always impeccable. I use the magics of authorship and editing to alter the flow of time in my world. I wonder how and how much God alters the flow of time in ours.

A Christmas Miracle

I can blog tonight. That's notable, both in contrast to last night and because, for a few hours there, it looked like I might not be able to blog, as I would have been in the hospital.

It had nothing to do with last night. After I threw up, blogged, and got some sleep, I actually felt fine this morning. The trouble came this evening, when a piece of meat from dinner got stuck in my esophagus and prevented me from completing my meal. This has happened before; usually the piece of food manages to go down (or come back up) after a short while, usually with some effort to drink water (or to undrink it, so to speak).

But this piece was tenacious. It remained stuck for hours, to the point where I was strongly considering going to the hospital to get their help in clearing my esophagus, by any means necessary. Yet, before we went, my sister thought it would be prudent to ask my brother to give me a blessing, and my brother and I agreed. Before the blessing, I tried to clear my tubes myself, to no avail. But after the blessing, as one last attempt before going to the hospital, I tried to clear my tubes, and this time, it actually worked.The blessing worked. My mom remarked that blessings don't normally work that quickly. She was our spokesperson in a prayer of thanks.

It seems somewhat small for a Christmas Miracle, but it may be a bigger miracle than it seems. We don't know how arduous a fate we were spared from. We also don't know what all effects this miracle will have. For now, I'm grateful that it happened and that I was blessed not to have to go to the hospital on Christmas. I know that others weren't so lucky. Being able to swallow again may seem like a small miracle, but I'm glad to have had it.

Can't Blog Tonight

I can't blog tonight. I'm very tired, I have a headache, I'm so nauseous that I just threw up, and I need to be awake and church-ready fairly early for choir practice, assuming that I'm well enough by then to even go. I need to get some sleep. I just hope it'll help.

Vicarious Happiness

Today, I attended a gift exchange, but I wasn't part of the exchange. I didn't unwrap any gifts, and I didn't give anyone any gifts to unwrap. Yet, I still had a lovely time. I enjoyed seeing others give and receive gifts, and I think I felt some of their joy vicariously. Seeing their happiness made me happy.

This is, perhaps, one reason to want to make others happy. Emotions tend to spread. Misery begets misery, resulting in the adage that "misery loves company," and joy begets joy. Making one person happy can also make other people happy, including oneself.

Today, I experienced happiness just by being in the same room as people giving each other happiness. In the future, I will give other people happiness, and that happiness is going to spread.

On Insults

I just heard someone describe terrorists as "cowardly," and it struck me that, whether the assessment was accurate or not, it certainly wasn't kind. I think I might have used the word "misguided," unless I was trying to argue or offend. Granted, terrorists tend to be our mortal enemies, not necessarily deserving of kindness, but in the Sermon on the Mount, Jesus said that we should "Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you" (Matthew 5:44). This tells me that it is more Christlike to speak kindly of your enemies than it is to insult them.

Yet, Jesus Himself insulted people. In Matthew 23, for example, He called the scribes and Pharisees "hypocrites," "blind guides," "serpents," and "fools," and judging by the exclamation points, I doubt He was merely stating it as a matter of fact or as necessary and gentle correction. He was insulting them, even using a word that He specifically warned us against using. During the Sermon on the Mount, He said "but whosoever shall say, Thou fool, shall be in danger of hell fire" (Matthew 5:22). So, I'm a little confused. Jesus' teachings suggest that it's wrong to insult people, yet His actions suggest that there are times when using insults is acceptable. I'm almost tempted to call Jesus a hypocrite, directly acting against one of His own teachings.

I'm not sure how to reconcile this. I'm convinced that it's wrong to insult people, but I'm not sure why it was justifiable for Jesus to do so. We know that Jesus never sinned, so whatever He did, it couldn't be sinful. So, is it not a sin to insult people? Is insulting others a sin with exceptions, like how "Thou shalt not kill" was given multiple exceptions throughout scripture?

Personally, I'm going to continue to try to refrain from insulting people, despite Jesus' example indicating that it may occasionally be justified. It seems like a bad habit, and I'd rather not take the risk. Besides, it isn't kind, and I think this world could use more kindness. I still consider it morally wrong to insult people, and I had thought that Jesus did, too.

The Perennial Predicament

Every year, during the holiday season, many people have to juggle two or more sets of family and other obligations. They have to choose with whom they have Thanksgiving dinner, which Christmastime events they attend, and where they are when they ring in the New Year. Many people have multiple places they'd like to be and multiple groups of people they'd like to be with, but no one can be in two places at once. Every year, people have to make hard decisions, and no matter what they choose, someone's going to feel hurt. All we can do is try to minimize that hurt.

Over the next few days, I'm going to spend as much time as I can with as much of my family as I can, and hopefully a friend, too. But I won't be able to make it to everything. I just hope that those whom I'll have to miss will be able to understand.

On Not Needing Guidance

For Family Scripture Study (and, for the record, the words of the prophets and apostles can count as "living scripture"), my family listened to a talk by Elder Bednar in which he said, among other things, that we shouldn't worry so much about whether or not we're receiving spiritual promptings. If we are trying to do good, either the Holy Ghost will guide us, or He won't need to. If we consistently follow the path to the right, we won't need a guide to point, nudge, or shove us to the right, since we're already going there anyway. It is those who are going to the left who need guidance, direction, and maybe a nudge or shove.

So, if we don't feel like the Spirit is speaking to us, that's good. It means He doesn't feel the need to, because we're already going the way that He would have told us to go.

More Ethical Than Society

I just read a Facebook post that said, "You are personally responsible for becoming more ethical than the society you grew up in," and I immediately knew I had to blog about it. At first, this seemed odd to me. If the society you grew up in is already ethical (as most societies believe themselves to be), then trying to be more ethical than that might result in "looking beyond the mark," (Jacob 4:14). Many people in the United States today are trying to be "more ethical" than the rest of society, and there is some disagreement about whether they're succeeding or not.

Yet, it's certainly true that no earthly society is perfect. Any society could be more ethical, and many could be much more ethical. As long as there is any room for improvement, we owe it to ourselves to try to improve. That is, I suppose, how societies can become more ethical, through individual members of society trying to improve. Naturally, it's more complicated than that, and certain social systems may reward or punish ethical or unethical behavior, but so long as a society is composed of individuals, the society is only as ethical as its individual members are. We owe it to ourselves and our societies to make ourselves and them and ethical as we and they can be. And if that means being more ethical than they are now, then yes, we should try to be more ethical than the societies we grew up in.

I try to be an ethical person. I try (and often fail) to become more ethical than I had been. I'm not sure if I'm becoming more ethical than the society I grew up in, but I'm trying to become as ethical as I can be, and I hope that the rest of society will gradually become more ethical as well.

The Other F Word

I'm sure we all know what "the F word" is. However, I've discovered a word we can put in its place and result in a much better message: Forgive. For example, "F*** that guy." becomes "Forgive that guy."

And really, you should. No matter what "that guy" did to invoke your ire, forgiving them is much better than the alternative. Forgiving them is a spiritually enriching act. Through forgiveness, we can let go of the pain and the hurt that others caused us. Don't seek revenge or anger. Seek healing and peace.

This substitution also helps when others tell us to "go f*** yourself," because we should forgive ourselves as well. We're all learning and growing. We all need patience and grace. We all need to be forgiven, and we all need to forgive.

So, I'm going to try to be as forgiving as I can manage to be, with myself and others, including in cases where a certain other "f word" may be involved.

I Need to Let This Go

You know what? I really need to let this go. There's something that happened months ago, and it's been bothering me for the last few weeks, and it's gotten to the point where I either need to have an open, honest, private, preferably calm and quiet conversation about it, or I need to just let it go. The negative emotions I feel about what happened aren't doing me any good, and I'm too pessimistic to believe that a conversation would do any good, either, so I need to just let it go. I need to forget about what happened, or at least get over my negative feelings about it. Granted, this will be easier said than done, but for the sake of my own emotional well-being, I need to stop caring so much about what happened. I need to be more stoic about it. The past and other people are outside of my control; I shouldn't let them bother me. Instead, I should control myself and my emotions, even in difficult circumstances. Again, easier said than done, but it'll be worth it. My own inner peace will be worth the effort of purging the negative emotions that are disturbing it.

How to Become a Celestial Being

In a D&D-like game that I'm running for myself, the main character, a paladin named Eloise, has a goal of becoming a Celestial Being. Yet, she has some doubts about whether she can accomplish that feat. She sees herself as being too flawed, too human, to become Celestial. She shared these concerns with an NPC name Saint Halcion, who had been human and who had since become an angel, and he offered her these words of comfort and advice: 

One need not be perfect in order to be good, and one need not be perfect in order to rightly be called Celestial. Continue working on your flaws always, but you will become a Celestial Being long before you become perfect.

Granted, I was writing both of these characters, so this was really just me talking to myself, but even so, I think this advice is worth considering. We're not perfect, and we're not going to become perfect in this lifetime. We won't be perfect by the time of Final Judgement, but that's okay; we don't have to be. One does not need to be literally perfect to qualify for the Celestial Kingdom, and our Eternal Progression will continue long after we get there. Like Saint Halcion said, we will become Celestial Beings long before we become perfect. In fact, in terms of our behavior, we can become Celestial now. We can uphold Celestial standards, even in mortality, even as we continue to fall short of perfection.

None of us is perfect. None of us will become perfect in this lifetime. But we can be good, we can be Celestial, and we can gradually, eventually become perfect, especially if we work on overcoming our flaws and being good, rather than worrying that we might not be good enough.

Freedom to Act

One thing I love about D&D is the freedom it gives its players. Within the framework of various rules, the players can create any characters they want, and then the characters can do (or at least attempt to do) anything the players can think of. And the DM, specifically, has even more freedom, being able to alter and even ignore some rules while creating the characters that they control. D&D players are able to create unique worlds, adventures, characters, and stories and explore them all however they see fit. It's amazing, and I greatly enjoy the freedom D&D provides.

Naturally, the real world is a little different. We have fewer character customization options, and there's far less fantasy and magic to play with, but we still have a good deal of freedom to act as we choose. We can do, or at least attempt to do, almost anything we can think of. In fact, we have so much freedom, it can be hard to decide what to do next. Each day has only so many hours in it, and it's up to us to decide what we'll do with them.

I'm grateful for the freedom to act as I see fit. I don't always make the best decisions with the time I have, but I still try to use it fairly wisely, and I'm glad that I have the freedom to do, or at least to try to do, anything I can think of. Life is an open world. It's up to us to decide what we do here.

Appreciating the Group Effort

Tonight was probably the best session of D&D I've ever run, the end of a year-long adventure campaign, and many of the players gave me, the DM, most of the credit for the success of the session and the campaign as a whole. Some would argue that this is only fair; the DM does a lot of planning, improvising, and adjudication, all of which is set toward making the campaign as fun as possible for the other players, but I think that those other players deserve a good deal of the credit for the game as well. Without the players, there is no game, and it's the players' emotional investment on the game that gives the game its emotional weight. The players' plans and actions determine a lot of the plot of the game, and as the main characters, they provide most of the flavor as well. Perhaps it's most accurate to say that the players and the DM need each other, and neither of them could create a good game without the other.

It's nice to feel appreciated, and it's good to appreciate others as well. Everyone who participated in that year-long campaign deserves some of the credit for making that game as fun as it was, and I'm glad that we're all giving each other the credit we're due. This game was a group effort, and I'm glad that our group (and our game) was a good one.

Happy to Help

I was late coming home today. I was helping a student with a paper that's due tonight, and though we had to burn some midnight oil to do so, we managed to complete the draft before the deadline. I'm grateful that I was there to help her tonight and that my help made a difference. Though it meant an hour or so of unpaid overtime, I was happy to help.

I wonder what made tonight different than some other times have been. I wonder why I was happy to help tonight, while I other times, I feel overwhelmed. 

It might have been the time of day. Late afternoon/early evening is a more convenient time to help people than late at night is, and I'm generally less tired then. 

It might have been the novelty. Though I help people with papers every day, each paper is unique. Each one is a new puzzle, not a rote chore. 

Or it might have been that I was doing something that I was good at (or at which I am good, for any purists out there). I have nearly a decade of tutoring experience and more than a decade of getting straight As in every college English class I've ever taken. Writing papers and helping students with theirs aren't very challenging for me.

My willingness and happiness to help may have been for any or all of those reasons, or for a different reason entirely. But whatever the reason, I was happy to help that student tonight, and I'm glad that I was happy to help.

Deathbed Repentance

I'm not sure I believe in deathbed repentance. Repentance means change, and change takes time. Those who repent when they have no time left might not have enough time left to repent.

Yet, there is some evidence for the potential immediacy of repentance. Alma 34:31 says that repentance can happen immediately:

Yea, I would that ye would come forth and harden not your hearts any longer; for behold, now is the time and the day of your salvation; and therefore, if ye will repent and harden not your hearts, immediately shall the great plan of redemption be brought about unto you.

"Immediately" sounds pretty quick. And Elder Holland confirms it. In a speech given to BYU students, he said the following:

You can change anything you want to change, and you can do it very fast. That’s another satanic suckerpunch—that it takes years and years and eons of eternity to repent. It takes exactly as long to repent as it takes you to say, “I’ll change”—and mean it.

So, I'm not sure. Generally, I would say that repentance needs to be backed up by at least some amount of time living a morally good life to be genuine, but according to some, it may be enough to take the first step down that path, even if you don't have enough time to complete it, at least not in this lifetime.

And as of right now, I think I understand why. When I started to write this blog post, it was still "today." The clock hadn't struck midnight yet. The blog post wasn't yet late. It certainly wasn't "too late" for me to start blogging. And even now that the blog post is officially late, I think the fact that I started when I still had time and genuinely tried to make it still counts for something. Perhaps the same applies to repentance.

Naturally, it's best to repent as soon as possible, if only to take advantages available in this life, but only to the righteous. But if, near the end of your life, you found that you haven't been as righteous as you think you ought to have been, know that it's never too late to repent.

Deathbed repentance may be possible for those who are sincerely repentant. It's certainly better than post-death repentance. The best time to repent is always "as soon as possible," no matter how early or late that is.

Here (But Too Tired) to Help

I sometimes say that I'm "Here to Help," and whether I say it or not, it's almost always true. Helping is something I do quite often. It's something between my most persistent habit and my life's purpose. Wherever I am, whatever's going on, I'm probably there to help. I help people for a living. As a writing tutor, I help people with their writing assignments. I help my family with chores, dishes, errands, and odd jobs like handyman type stuff. I help my friends by running D&D games for them every week. I help people consistently, and I'm generally happy to do it.

Yet, there are times when I feel tired and overwhelmed, and I don't feel like helping, and sometimes I help anyway, but at those times, I tend to be grumpy about it. Sometimes, I don't have enough energy to be helpful and polite at the same time. Sometimes, I don't have enough energy to be either. Sometimes, I just need to remove myself from the situation, take a few deep breaths, and rest.

I wonder what, if anything, this says about me, apart from the fact that I'm human. Can people become tired of practicing their habits? Can people get tired of fulfilling their life's purpose? It seems to me that practicing a habit or fulfilling one's life's purpose should be practically effortless, perhaps even invigorating, but it's not. Not always.

But I suppose that makes some sense. Let's say that someone habitually plays Baseball. They love the game, and they play it as much as they can. Yet, playing Baseball takes energy. One can burn calories by running bases and by throwing, hitting, and catching balls. If they haven't eaten or rested enough, it's possible for their body to simply run out of steam, no matter how much they love the game.

Maybe that's true of me, too. Maybe it's possible for me to simply not have the energy to help others from time to time, even if it is my life's purpose. A person may love playing Baseball or helping people but still face the fact that there's only so much of it they can take before they can't do it anymore, at least not until they've rested. Maybe I don't need to beat myself up for occasionally running out of steam.

It's good to help people, and I'm glad I help others more often than not, but it's also okay to get tired. It's okay to need rest. It's okay not to help everyone at all times. Even for me, a person who is almost always "here to help," it's okay if I occasionally can't. At least, I sure hope it is.

I am here, on Earth, to help, but I'm sorry that I am occasionally simply too tired to.

Even Better Miracles

Sometimes, we ask God for blessings. These can range from blessings as big as saving lives to as small as blessing a meal. But every time God acts in our lives, that's a miracle. We ask for miracles all the time. Sometimes, God grants us the miracles we ask for, but sometimes, He gives us even better ones instead.

God knows our lives and needs better than we do. He knows what's best for us. He knows what we really need and what we merely want. He knows that He sometimes needs to deny us the blessings and miracles that we ask for now in order to set us up to receive even better blessings and miracles later. 

This is part of the reason we need to be patient and we need to have faith. If God always gave us what we asked for, we'd be much worse off for it. We need to be willing to accept the answers God gives us, even when the answer is "no." Because often, when God chooses not to grant a particular blessing or miracle, He does so so He can give grant us even even better blessings and miracles later.

Cautiously Optimistic

I sometimes belittle the power of positive thinking. I'm cynical. I think that wishful thinking is childish. And yet, it's probably a happier way to live. Giving people the benefit of a doubt, expecting good things to happen, and interpreting life more charitably than it probably deserves, aren't always realistic or pragmatic, and they may not always be wise, but they are comforting and uplifting. From a purely Utilitarian perspective, such thinking is good, insofar that causes happiness and reduces suffering. Naturally, as with many things, it's possible to go too far. Thinking the best of people too much can set one up to get hurt by them. Yet, if one remains cautious and vigilant, there may not be much harm in also being optimistic. That's something I think I should strive for: being cautiously optimistic. Caution without optimism is miserable, and optimism without caution is reckless, but with both caution and optimism, I may be able to enjoy the benefits of positive and wishful thinking without falling into the same traps a more naive person might. I have an abundance of caution, and that's probably wise, but I could also use more optimism in my life, so perhaps I should try to be more optimistic.

Learn Better

In some stories, a villain may come to a sudden or gradual realization that their behavior has been villainous. Generally, people don't think of themselves as being bad, just human and probably misunderstood. Yet, none of us are as good as we could be. It shouldn't be surprising, then, that people occasionally realize that they had not been as good as they had thought they had been. We all occasionally realize that we had or have been making bad choices.

When this happens, we have several options, the best of which is almost certainly to repent and change our behavior, preferably without beating ourselves up for having been imperfect. As we learn and grow, we hopefully become better people, and part of that is learning about how we had been worse. Often, such a realization is painful, as is the challenge of breaking bad habits and forming better ones. Yet, the introspection and effort are necessary. If we want to become better, we need to be willing to find out where we have room to improve, and we need to be willing to put in the work of making those improvements.

It's a difficult process made all the more difficult by the knowledge that we must learn that we weren't as good as we thought we were. I've begun this process several times in my life, and I can attest to its difficulty. But facing the challenge is necessary if we want to improve.

We all make bad decisions. Our task is to learn what bad choices we're making and then to learn better.

Trying to Improve

The other day, I was thinking about the importance of trying to improve. I occasionally get compliments, and in response I tend to say "Thank you; I try," but that's not the kind of trying I'm talking about. It's not enough to try to be good; we should be continually trying to become better.

This is easier said than done. Trying to improve requires introspection, actively looking for areas in which we have room for improvement, and putting in the work of improving ourselves. This requires humility, honesty, and diligence. It requires us to accomplish the level of good that we typically do, and then to actively go above and beyond.

It's important and necessary to try to be good, but it isn't sufficient. It's not enough just to be good. We are trying to become better. And that requires us to look beyond the good that we normally do and to actively try to do even batter. Improvement takes time and effort, but it's good, necessary, and important for us to continue trying to improve.

Showing Love First

One thing that I need to stop being abysmal at is showing other people the kind of love I want them to show me. If I want people to be patient with me, I should also be patient with them. If I don't want people to judge me, I shouldn't judge them, either. If I want people to respect my beliefs, I should respect theirs, too. And so on.

It's tempting to withhold love until I have felt loved myself, but that's not really practical. If everyone withheld love until someone else loved them first, then the world would have much less love in it, and there would be desperately little love to go around. 

Instead, we should all try to love proactively. We should encourage those from whom we would seek encouragement. We should speak well of those whom we hope would speak well of us. We should show kindness to those of whom we would ask for kindness.

Granted, this won't always work the way we would like it to. It is possible that we'll show love to people who will then not show such love to us in return. At those times, we can hope that our expressions of love will still be rewarded by God, to whom we can also show the love we hope to receive.

Love always comes back to those who show it, so if you want people to show you love, it helps to show them love first.

A Stable Connection

In this age of technology, we can (usually) easily access nearly all knowledge on Earth. Yet, our connection to this data is not infallible. There are times when our wifi is spotty or our internet access goes down. At those times, we can sometimes get by using mobile data (as I am doing now), but this connection isn't infallible either.

At times like these, I'm grateful to have a much more robust line of communication to God. I know that, even when the wifi is down or the power is out, I can always pray to God, and He will always hear me. Prayer is a stable and stabilizing connection to a source of knowledge and guidance that far exceeds the internet in quality. I'm grateful that, even when I can't connect to the internet, I can always connect with God.

Trust in God's Plan

Today, in Sunday School, we discussed, among other things, the importance of having faith in God and His plans and timing. This can be tricky for us, because sometimes, God's plans take our lives in different directions that the ones we'd like of expect. In my case, it now seems apparent that God's plan for me involves me being in a place, spiritually, that I've been taught God doesn't want me to be in. I would have thought that, since God doesn't want people to be where I spiritually am, He would help me get out of it or would have steered me away from it in the first place. Yet, since God led me here, I can only assume that this is where God wants me to be, at least until He leads me out again.

I'm reminded of Nephi and Laban. God doesn't normally approve of murder, but in Nephi's case, God specifically commanded it. Nephi naturally balked at this command, but he ultimately trusted in God and did what he was commanded to do, even though it would otherwise have been sinful to do so. God knows His laws better than we do. He knows when they apply and when there are exceptions. Sure, we would love to know what all the rules are, rather than a handful of (usually) hard rules and a few dozen guiding principles, but if God were to explain all of the rules and exceptions thereto, I'm not sure it'd be practical to record and refer to them all. Rather, we are to trust God enough to keep His commandments and to trust Him enough to continue to follow Him, even if it seems to lead us off the path.

Nephi was disturbed by the seemingly sinful command he was given, but He trusted the Lord and followed His promptings, and because he did, everything worked out according to God's plan. I may be in a similar position. All my life, I've been trying to follow what I thought was God's plan for me, and I assumed I would have God's help in doing so, but the guidance God has given me has led me in some unexpected directions, and I'm just left to assume that God knows better than I do. God's plans don't always seem to make sense to us, but we have to trust that His plan is perfect and that everything will make sense in the end.

Too Tired; Need Rest

I'm tired. I've had a long day, and while I'm sure I could spend the next hour and a half trying to churn out another half-decent (if that) blog post, it would be far better for everyone if I spend that time resting instead. I have a bad habit of spending too much of my energy on too many people, and I tend to get burned out. I need to rest and recover my energy, and if that means spending less time and energy on my blog, that's a price that I'm will to pay. I'm sorry I'm not giving you a higher-quality blog post tonight, but right now, it's far more important for me to rest and recover instead.

Subtle Hints

I'm currently helping my brother play an action-adventure puzzle game called Tunic, but it's a little tricky. Because it's a puzzle game, and much of the fun and challenge of the game is solving its puzzles for oneself, I'm limited in the amount of help I can provide without ruining the experience. Mostly, I've only been giving him subtle hints, and usually only when he asks for a hint or accepts my offer of a hint.

I imagine it's much the same with God. God knows what we need to do, but He expects us to figure it out mostly on our own, with minimal guidance from Him. Any more guidance than that which He gives us would probably ruin the experience of us making our own decisions and learning for ourselves. If we always knew what God wanted us to do, the choice would be binary: Do we obey God or not? There wouldn't be much for us to figure out, so we would never learn how to figure out for ourselves what we should do. Too much guidance would ruin the experience of life.

We need to be willing to accept that God's hints are horribly subtle at times, and at those times, it's up to us to figure things out on our own. Sure, we may wander and stumble a bit, but that's part of life, and God already has a plan in place to make it right. Just as I need to withhold guidance and keep my hints subtle in order to let Joe properly experience Tunic, God also needs to withhold guidance and keep His hints subtle so we can properly experience life.

My Center

I recently watched a YouTube video in which a therapist and a filmmaker explored the psychology of a character named Jack Frost from a film titled Rise of the Guardians. In this YouTube video, the therapist and filmmaker spoke of a scene in which Santa Claus explains to Jack that everyone has a center, something that motivates them, something that makes them them. It's something like a purpose. In the film, Santa Claus says that his center is Wonder, seeing wonder in the world and helping others to see it, too. And later in the film, Jack discovers that his center is Fun, that what he enjoys most is having fun and helping others have fun, too. The therapist and filmmaker discussed their centers as well, considering ideas like Fun and Helping Others for the therapist and Creation and Storytelling for the filmmaker. Naturally, they asked their audience to consider their centers as well.

Much like Jack Frost at the beginning of the film, I don't know what my center is. I don't know what my purpose is, what brings me joy, what makes me me. Some years ago, I might have said Helping People, because I do genuinely enjoy that, when I don't feel like I'm being taken for granted or terribly burnt out. I like Making People Happy when I can. I also love Exploring Ideas and Solving Puzzles, but I'm not sure that either of those are my center, and I'm even less sure that I'd want them to be. Helping Others is noble, and I used to enjoy it a good deal, though perhaps I enjoyed it because it made others happy.

I'm not confident that I know what my center is. I'm not sure I'd recognize it if I saw it. I'm not sure what I'd want my center to be or whether a person can choose (rather than discover) what their center is. These are things that I'm hoping to discover about myself. If it's true that people have centers like that, I'd love to know what mine is.

Introversion Inversion

So, I'm an introvert. Or at least, I think I am. I generally find social interaction draining. I get tired of spending too much time with too many people. And yet, tonight, I had a social interaction with a group of people for 2-3 hours straight, depending on how you measure it, and afterward I was far more energized than I was when I started. Granted, it was a small group - only four people beside myself - and most of them were quiet most of the time. Also, it might have helped that the people I was with were my friends, people who make me feel comfortable and appreciated. And we were playing D&D, my favorite game in the world, and it was a great session. Almost everyone got a moment to shine, and everyone seemed to have a good time, which means that I, as the DM, mostly succeeded.

I don't know if being energized by a small, comfortable, fun gathering is already a known feature of introversion or whether it's an exception. Perhaps that's something I should study, to try to learn more about myself. It's true that I'm usually drained by social encounters, but was energized by this one. Is this something that's known to happen with introverts, or is this a sign that I'm not 100% introverted? I'll have to do some research to find out.

In the meantime, I'm glad that I can keep learning about myself, including what drains and energizes me. I think I also ought to list things that cause and relieve my stress and things that strengthen and weaken me. It'd be good to have lists of things to seek and things to avoid, so I can use that wisdom to seek a good life, continually growing stronger, preferably without running too low on energy or building up too much stress.

I want to be a strong, energetic, unstressed person again, and to that end, it may be good to learn what to seek and avoid to help me accomplish that.

Temporarily Swamped

Today was a busy day, and tomorrow, unfortunately, promises to be just as busy. The semester is coming to a close soon, and many students are coming to tutors like me for help with their final papers. The D&D game I run on Wednesdays is also coming to a close, meaning that, in addition to working on my own final homework assignments and several other people's as well, I also need to plan the boss fight with Strahd von Zarovich and his lackeys, which I will run tomorrow. I'm pretty swamped. But I'm glad to know that this rough patch is temporary, that Christmas break is right around the corner, and that if I can make it through the next week or two of greater than normal busyness, I can afterward, thankfully, relax. I'm looking forward to getting some rest after all of this, but in the meantime, I'm just going to try to get through it as well as I can.

Try

Someone recently complimented my performance. I told them "Oh, thank you. I try." They said "You don't try, you succeed." And I said "I succeed because I try."

I think that trying is vitally important. We need to make an effort in order to improve. If we don't actually try, then whether we succeed or fail, we will stagnate, and our skill will eventually atrophy. However, if we do try, then whether we succeed of fail, we will grow, and that growth will lead us to more and more consistent success.

I don't think our performance should be measured by how well we do. The results of our performances could be based largely on luck, natural ability, or innate talent, none of which are actually earned. Rather, I think our performances should be evaluated by our level of effort, and perhaps the skill that we've worked to acquire. Essentially, I don't think we should be judged by how well we do. Instead, we should be judged by how hard we try.

The Shortest / Best Talk I've Ever Given

As it turns out, I needn't've worried so much. The first speaker took up most of the time, and the hymns took most of the rest of the time, leaving only a few minutes for me. I shared the highlights, what compassion is and how we can show it, and I ended with my testimony of how important it is to practice compassion. But what made it the best talk I've ever given is how it encouraged me to practice what I preached.

Speaking of which, I owe you all an apology. I've been rude. I was so worked up about how others' actions affected me, I didn't care how my reactions affected them. It's difficult to act with compassion in the (perceived) absence of compassion, but I shouldn't have let that become an excuse to behave rudely. I'm sorry to all of you. I plan to do a better job of practicing compassion and considering others' feelings from now on.

They say that speakers typically get more out of their talks than their audience does, and I think that was certainly true this time. The congregation got a definition, an anecdote, and a few tips. I got a lesson that got me out of a funk and changed how I'll interact with others. It was a rough experience at points, but I'm glad I was asked to give this talk.

I Am Not/Now Prepared

I am not prepared. I had only a week to prepare for my talk, and I spent so much of that time doing holiday stuff and dealing with my own personal issues that I am now at the point where I'm giving the talk in about 12 hours, and I don't even have an outline yet. I'd better get started.

A typical way to begin a talk is to state the topic of the talk along with a dictionary definition. According to the Oxford Dictionary, compassion means "sympathetic pity and concern for the sufferings or misfortunes of others." It comes from the Latin "Compati," meaning to "suffer with." When we have compassion for someone, that means we suffer with them and have pity and concern for their sufferings and misfortunes.

I suppose, then, I'll want to give some examples, but given that I'm the last speaker, I'll want to keep my outline mostly modular, so I can expand on, reduce, or even eliminate sections of my talk, as time requires. I should try to have several examples at the ready, to fill time, but to be willing to cut them if time is short. I wonder if this would be a good place to put my bicycle seat story. Maybe not yet. It might go better in a more call-to-action-y section.

Once we know that compassion means to suffer with someone, and possibly have some examples of what sorts of suffering we're talking about, I think it'd be good to talk about what we can do about that suffering. This'll be good for me, since there are many possible answers, and I can list and elaborate as many and as much as I need to.

So, let's brainstorm. What can we do to practice compassion and help others?

Sympathize - Try to understand, and let them know you understand, what they're going through.

Forgive their offenses against you (if any). This point (or the last one) would be a great place for the bicycle seat story.

Lend a hand - Maybe get their permission first, and I can also list multiple possible ways to lend a hand, from a shoulder to cry on to financial assistance (especially the financial one, because the previous talk will have been about the Law of Consecration).

Actually, speaking of consecration, there's a few points I should probably make about the "Infuriating Unfairness" Elder Dale G. Renlund spoke about, including how the Lord will consecrate our afflictions for our gain, especially as we seek to alleviate the afflictions of others. I should bring some of that up in my Examples of Suffering section. That way, I'll have brought Elder Renlund up early enough in my talk that it won't seem completely out of place if I bring him up again later.

There's another point that Elder Renlund made that I'll want to slip in somewhere, time permitting. Basically, the question is: "If this unfairness and suffering are so bad, why doesn't God fix it?" and I have three answers to that. 1) He will resolve all unfairness, and He is likely already doing far more in that respect than we realize. Karma is a widely recognized phenomenon. Perhaps karma is some measure of divine justice, ensuring that people get the rewards and punishments they deserve, in this life or the next. 2) Suffering can be good for us. It builds character, if we let it. And 3) God wants to leave some of the work of alleviating unfairness to us. I've got a good, semi-relevant quote ready to go, but it basically boils down to God wanting to give us the opportunity of practicing Godly work.

These are fantastic points, and I'd love to fit them in somewhere, but where? Maybe between the Examples of Suffering and the advice for how to Practice Compassion. That way I could go from a) suffering stinks to b) Why does God let this happen? and from c) God wants us to help fix it, to d) here's how we can help alleviate suffering. Or, if necessary, I can go straight from a) suffering stinks to d) here's what we can do about it.

So, I've got four main sections so far.

1. Definition of Compassion

2. Examples of Suffering

3. Why Doesn't God Fix This?

4. What Can We Do?

Sections 2. and 3. can be reduced or eliminated for the sake of time, and sections 2. and 4. can be expanded if time permits.

From there, I can conclude with my testimony of the importance of compassion in addressing all of life's many problems. All people need sympathy and compassion. All people sometimes need help. It is the moral responsibility of those who have been blessed to share those blessings with others. If we were blessed with an abundance, we can share with those who lack, and that's as true with money as it is with knowledge, emotional stability, and physical strength. There are as many ways to help people as there are people who need help, and it's important for each of us who are able, to do our part.

Or something along those lines. One should almost always speak as directed by the Spirit through the Testimony part of their talk. I mostly just wrote that out for the people who bothered to read this stream-of-consciousness style, talk planning "blog post."

So, that's the plan. I have the outline written out in another document. I'll print it up and have it ready as I give my talk tomorrow morning. I feel better prepared now. Thank you for helping me hash this out.

The Most Challenging Talk I'll Have Ever Given

This might be a challenging talk for me. I'm supposed to talk about Compassion, within the context of the Law of Consecration, and that in itself seems easy enough. Many people are suffering; our hearts (and generous contributions) should go out to them. 

But it'll be hard for me to talk about compassion when I, personally, have felt deprived of it. There have been times when I felt desperate for people to care how I felt, and their responses made it seem like they didn't. To quote myself from earlier this year (and I hope you'll pardon the "unacceptable" language I had used), "When a person is already upset enough to use crude language, the last thing they need at that moment is a(n effing) lecture about it." I needed compassion. I need compassion. And if I can't get it from those who are members of this church, then I thank God that I can still get it from people who aren't.

But I can't say any of that over the pulpit. 

For once, I need to make sure I don't put too much of my own thoughts and feelings into a talk. I'm better off focusing more on the Conference Talk I'm supposed to reference and perhaps a personal anecdote about a bicycle seat. I'm better off making this the most boring, emotionless talk I can make it, because if I actually think about how the subject of "compassion" makes me feel, I might find myself speaking with a volume and/or vocabulary that is unconducive to the spirit of reverence.

I should be writing an outline for my talk, but I'm having a hard time focusing on it because I'm upset about how little compassion I get when I act out when I'm upset.

I need to stop thinking about myself. I need to focus on those who are less fortunate than me. Yes, I need compassion, but they need compassion more, and so I need to make sure I don't make my talk all about me.

An Introvert's Thanksgiving

Today, my family had a Thanksgiving dinner, and I was a little worried about it. As an introvert, I don't deal well with there being a lot of people or noise. I was worried that I'd get overwhelmed. But thankfully, I was able to slip outside a handful of times, usually with only one or two family members at a time, where the cool air and the quieter atmosphere was much more pleasant for me, helping me recover from and brace myself for the more boisterous environment indoors.

I survived. And what's more, thanks to being able to take occasional breaks, I actually kind of enjoyed myself. I still don't want to join groups that large very often, but since I was able to slip away when I needed to, I found the whole experience quite manageable.

I'm thankful that I was able to spend time with my family today, and I'm especially thankful that, thanks to being able to take breaks when I needed them, I was able to enjoy it.

Non-monetary Compassion

I have been asked to give a talk on "compassion for others" in Sacrament Meeting this week, but in the context of the week's given topic (which is also the first speaker's topic), it seems clear that I'll mostly be speaking about a certain kind of compassion. The topic of the week and the first speaker is The Law of Consecration, and the Conference talk I was given to help me prepare my talk is about Infuriating Unfairness. From this, I can guess that I'm meant to focus on monetary compassion, alleviating unfairness by consecrating what we can to ease the suffering of others.

Yet, charity is not what I immediately think of when I think of compassion. The word compassion comes from the Latin "Compati," meaning to "suffer with." Compassion means empathy, or at least sympathy. Compassion means to care about the suffering of others. It has far more to do with emotion than money.

For example, several months ago, I was feeling terribly overwhelmed and frustrated, and I regret to admit that I got upset enough to shout and swear. A family member in another room heard me and sent me a message asking what was going on. When I explained how I felt, my family member told me that I was exaggerating, that I needed to be more adult, and that crude language was never acceptable, or at least, that's how the message felt when I read it. The message that I perceived as exhibiting a severe lack of compassion only added to my frustration, and the conversation devolved further from there until I felt the need to leave the house and silence my phone in order to cool off. Since then, I have often thought that if my family member had responded with compassion and helped me alleviate the feelings of frustration I had felt rather than criticizing me for swearing, that would have been far more effective at getting me to the point where I no long felt like swearing.

Similar situations play out with many kinds of bad behavior. Often, a person "acts out" because of underlying negative feelings. If we practice compassion and help them alleviate the bad feelings, the bad behavior will likely stop as well.

People need compassion. People need to feel heard and felt and understood. It can be tempting to chide them and to offer advice for how they should stop their behavior, but focusing on their behavior merely treats the symptom, not the cause. If we consider why they're doing what they're doing and why they feel how they feel, we can get closer to the root of the issue and help them both feel better and do better.

Naturally, most of this won't go into my talk. In my talk, I'll focus more on the kinds of suffering that monetary and/or material assistance can relieve. But no matter what kinds of suffering we or others are experiencing, one way to help is through practicing sincere, genuine compassion, to care about them and their problems, and to try to help them feel better in any way we can, whether that means giving them financial assistance or giving them patience and sympathy.

I'm ashamed of how I acted that night those months ago, and I hope my family member is, too, but it taught me a valuable lesson. When people are suffering enough to act in ways that cause others to suffer too, they don't need scolding; they need compassion.

Advice about Advice

One of the personal struggles that I'm working on right now is how I respond to advice.

Part of my problem is that I'm too used to dealing with authority figures. Teachers have authority over their students. Supervisors have authority over employees. Parents have authority over their children. And church leaders have authority over the church. Often, the "advice" I hear is really more like "commands," than mere "suggestions" or "possible options." So, when one of my peers gives me advice, I treat it like I treat the "advice" that I get from other people, like the person thinks they have the authority to tell me what to do.

In essence, I respond badly to advice, especially when I already feel stressed or overwhelmed, but a conversation I had after my less-than-good response helped me learn a better way to consider advice: to merely consider it. Think about it for a while, weigh the pros and cons, and discern for myself whether I, personally, should heed that advice at this time. Advice should almost always be considered, but not always heeded. Regardless of the advice we get, or who we get it from, we should always think and choose for ourselves.

So, my advice about how to respond to advice is to take it with a grain of salt, so to speak. Even the best-intended advice can be wrong sometimes, and even generally wise advice can be not right for a given person at a given time. You and God know your situation better than anyone, so while it's wise to seek wisdom from many potential sources, only you and God can say for sure what advice you should follow or disregard.

I hope that I can develop the wisdom to be willing to listen to other people's advice and still have the wisdom to make my own, then better-informed, decisions.

God Forgives

For family scripture study tonight, my family just read the story of Jonah, or perhaps rather, the story of Nineveh. Jonah had been instructed to warn the people of Nineveh that destruction awaited them at a certain time if they didn't repent. But the people did repent and fasted, and they were spared. As the given time passed, destructionless, Jonah remarked on how merciful the Lord is, and there is some truth to that.

I don't believe that the Lord actually wants to destroy anyone. He isn't itching for any opportunity to punish people for stepping out of line. He is merciful. He is willing and eager to forgive. Though our actions caused Him suffering in the Garden of Gethsemane, His suffering is over, and He would rather forgive us than cause us to suffer, too.

I am grateful for the mercy of the Lord and for the example He has shown of extending forgiveness to others. We should be just as forgiving, if not even more so. "I, the Lord, will forgive whom I will forgive, but of you it is required to forgive all men" (D&C 64:10). And given how forgiving God often is, that's saying something. God wants to forgive, and so should we.

God is Seated

Right after Sacrament Meeting today, I saw a little girl standing in the doorway between the Chapel and the Foyer. She was crying for her mother, but her mother was seated nearby, on the couch in the foyer, calling to the little girl. There were no obstructions between the girl and her mother. The mother was in plain sight of the girl. The little girl wanted her mother, but all she had to do to be with her mother was to walk back to where her mother was sitting.

Naturally, when I saw this, I thought of God. We are all currently distant from God. We want Him in our lives, and we wish He would come to us, pick us up, and carry us back to where we can sit with Him. But God is seated. He isn't going to come down from heaven to pick up each of us individually. It's up to each of us to go to Him.

I don't quite recall which person moved first to reconnect the girl and her mother. I think it was the mother who went to her little girl, but I couldn't say for sure. But I can say that God doesn't seem to come down to His children as often as they ask Him to. Rather, He calls us to ascend to Him. Of course, He makes sure it's possible for us to come to Him, and He even sends us helpers to guide and support us on our way back to Him, but He Himself remains seated, so it's up to us to make our way back to Him so we can sit down beside Him.

Little Victories

There's a sign on the refrigerator in my home that says "Little Victories every day." I don't know if I accomplish victories "every day," but I suppose that depends on how "little" the victories can be and still count. I suppose anything important enough to get written down and checked off of a To Do list could count as a victory. In that sense, every task completed can be counted as a victory. Every load of laundry washed and folded, every stack of presents wrapped and cards signed, every email sent, every shower taken, ever blog post written, can count as a victory. In that sense, I achieve victories every day, whether I wrote the task down or not.

When we feel overwhelmed or discouraged, it may help to list our tasks for the day, both those we've already completed and those we have yet to do, to congratulate ourselves for whatever we've done so far, and to make a plan for what we're going to do next. Seeing the tasks we've completed will give us a bit of satisfaction, and seeing the next steps to be completed will give us an actionable plan for what to do next to secure further victories.

Achieving little victories can be encouraging, and it can be easier than we sometimes think. If we focus on taking it one step at a time, and we appreciate every positive step we take, we can achieve countless little victories, many of which will add up to bigger victories ahead.

Good Music

This evening, I went to an RSVP (Reconciliation Singers Voices of Peace) concert, and it was wonderful. Much of the music was peaceful and touching, and the few songs that weren't were rousing and fun. Several times, I felt the the choir sounded angelic. I highly recommend going to one of their concerts or getting one of their CDs. It is a privilege to hear them sing.

Tonight, they reminded me (in case I needed another reminder) that music itself is wonderful. Listening to music can be a spiritually uplifting experience. I should listen to such calming, peaceful music more often. There are times when I'm studying or commuting when I could also be listening to good music. I should take advantage of those opportunities more often.

Good music is good for the soul, and my soul could use more good music.

I Love Autumn

I love autumn. I love the cooler air, the scattered breeze and showers. I especially love the changing colors of the leaves. I live in Sacramento, the city of trees, and many of those trees are deciduous. I love that the trees' colors grow warmer as the air itself grows cooler. But even as the air cools, I can bundle up, maybe turn on a heater or light a fire in a fireplace, and drink hot chocolate.

Naturally, there are also the holidays. I'm not much of a fan of Halloween, but as soon as November starts, the ghoulish decorations start to get replaced with festive ones as everyone gets ready for Thanksgiving, and then Christmas.

I like the quiet, reflective moments I get to enjoy as I think about the people I love and the people who love me, and I feel grateful for everything in my life that led me to where I am now. Sure, my life isn't perfect, but autumn isn't about perfection; it's about change, and I feel like my life is changing for the better. It feels warmer in some ways, and perhaps cooler than others, but it's certainly more colorful, and I have ways I can brace for the cold. I'm not looking forward to the coming winter storms, but I'll manage. The seasons are changing, and though it isn't always pleasant, change can be good.

I love autumn. It's beautiful. It's colorful. And I'm prepared to brace for the cold.

Giving Myself Grace

This morning, I gave myself some much-needed rest. After being dismally tired last night, I turned off my alarm, slept in, took a shower, and skipped going to the gym today. Arguably, some of those choices aren't normally the healthiest, but today was not a normal day. Today was the day after an evening in which I was so soul-crushingly tired that I broke down sobbing on the floor. This was not normal, and it should not be normal. I desperately needed more rest than I was getting, so I gave myself more rest than normal.

And, as it turned out, the gym coach seemed to accept my decision. When I got to school later than normal, too late for a workout before work, he was understanding. He acknowledged that we all have off days and that it's okay for us to take breaks when we need them. Naturally, it helped that I was otherwise fairly diligent about attending the gym, having made it there almost every weekday (apart from Fridays) for the whole semester. I suppose it's easier to give myself grace (as the coach put it) when I didn't need that much of it.

I also acknowledge that I was lucky to have the option to give myself rest. Not everyone can just choose to take it easy on a given day without facing dire consequences. It's not always practical for us to give ourselves rest.

But we can give ourselves grace. We can appreciate that we are doing the best we can with the strength, energy, and wisdom we have, and we can forgive ourselves when we fall short. Of course, all the cliches apply. Nobody's perfect. Everyone falls short sometimes. Etc. We should each give ourselves as much grace, compassion, and understanding as we would give other people (and we should give other people more grace, compassion, and understanding than they deserve, or at least, I try to). I've apologized profusely to those who were affected by my failings, and they have forgiven me just as many times. I should forgive myself, too.

God is merciful. If we are to follow His example, we should be merciful, too, even with ourselves. God teaches us to give grace to those who need it, and everyone needs grace. We should, when necessary, give ourselves some grace, too.

Giving Myself Away

I'd rather not air my dirty laundry on my blog so often, but I have less than an hour to blog about something, and this is the only thing I can think of right now.

Don't spread yourself too thin. Don't give too much of yourself to too many people, or at the end of the day, you'll find that you have nothing left.

I help people. I help people for a living. I help people habitually. I help people because it's the right thing to do. But sometimes, I help too many people, and I run out of steam. I get overwhelmed and stressed and frustrated, and sometimes, I even get snappy.

I don't want to be like that. I don't want to get mad at the people I love. I don't want to not have enough energy left to spend time with the people I love. I don't want to end the day with so little energy left that I get upset with my own family.

So, I need to stop helping people so much. I need to save up my energy so I have some left for my family at the end of the day. I need to not spread myself too thin.

It takes energy to not be a jerk, and I don't have enough energy to not be a jerk to everyone. So, until such a day as I have infinite social energy, I need to save some of that energy for my family, which means I need to not spend all my energy helping people during the day.

There is only so much of me to go around. I need to be more careful about giving my limited time and energy away.

There Ain't No Rest for the Wicked - But There May Be Mercy

This morning, I was thinking about the sociological implications of the song Ain't No Rest for the Wicked. The song examines three sinners/criminals: a prostitute, and mugger, and an embezzler, highlighting certain similarities between them and commenting on society and perhaps even human nature. Yet, there are also noteworthy differences between the first two criminals and the last one.

The prostitute and the mugger are street criminals. The point-of-view character of the song describes encountering them on his way home, and they both ask him for money, either offering him a good time or threatening to shoot him. In both cases, the POV character chalks their lifestyles up to personal choices, asking them "Why'd you do this to yourself?" and "What made you want to live this kind of life?"

But personally, I'm not sure they had much of a choice. Granted, we always have agency. We can always, at least theoretically, choose to suffer and perhaps starve rather than break our moral principles. Yet, poverty can make people desperate, and desperate people often make desperate choices. Sure, theoretically the prostitute and mugger could have made different choices, but realistically, their life circumstances likely practically forced their hands.

Not so with the embezzler. The embezzler seemed not to be quite so desperate, and given another character detail we know about him, he should have known better. The embezzler was described as a preacher, having stolen money from the church he represented. The singer/POV character took a pot-and-kettle/glass-houses approach to the preacher and his crime: 

But even still I can't say much,
Because I know we're all the same.

Oh yes, we all seek out to satisfy those thrills.

But I'm not sure I see it that way, and I'm not sure God sees it that way, either. Naturally, I hope that sinners will receive some mercy for occasionally giving in to their natural inclinations, even their inclination to steal, but I'm not sure that's what's happening here. The prostitute and mugger were likely in a far more desperate financial situation than the preacher was. They weren't trying to "stuff[ their] bank account with righteous dollar bills." They were trying to feed their families and pay their bills. I think God would look more sympathetically on their situations and actions than He will on the preacher's.

The song seems to be sending a message about society and human nature, but the message I take away from it is one of sympathy and mercy. Those who are in bad situations sometimes make bad decisions. Maybe they had other options, but it can be hard to say. I have a good deal of sympathy for those who feel the need to steal or to sell themselves to survive. I have far less sympathy for those who steal in order to go from living modestly to living comfortably or luxuriously.

Yet, even then, perhaps I shouldn't be so quick to judge. Perhaps the preacher/embezzler was trapped with a desperation-inducing amount of debt. Perhaps the embezzler couldn't afford to keep his family homed, clothed, and fed unless he did what he did. God knows his (fictional) situation; I don't. Therefore, God should be the one to judge him, not me.

I was going to end my blog post by condemning the embezzler and saying that those of us who are blessed to live comfortable, if modest, lives shouldn't harshly judge those who are less fortunate, even when they commit sins and crimes to get by. But upon reflection, I've realized that we don't really know each other's situations, so perhaps we shouldn't judge anyone, no matter how blessed or privileged they appear to be.

We all need mercy and sympathy; some more than others. May we and God have sympathy and mercy on us all.

We Affect Each Other

There's a song that's been on my mind a lot lately, For Good from the Broadway Musical Wicked. As I understand it, not having seen the musical in full, For Good comes near the end of the musical, when the two main characters, about to part ways, sing about the effect that they've had on each other. 

I've heard it said
That people come into our lives
For a reason
Bringing something we must learn
And we are led to those
Who help us most to grow if we let them
And we help them in return.
Well, I don't know if I believe that's true
But I know I'm who I am today

Because I knew you.

I think this may be more true than we realize. We all have an effect on each other, and the people in our lives all have effects on us. These effects are often subtle, and the changes can happen so gradually that we don't realize they're happening, but we are all shaped by those around us, and we have an impact on others as well.

Both of these aspects are important to bear in mind. I makes sense to be aware of how others affect us, so we can choose friends who are a good influence on us. And similarly, we should be careful to ensure that the influence we have on others is a positive one. As long as we are changing people by our existence in their lives, we should try to ensure that we're changing them for the better and that they are doing the same for us.

I don't know whether or not we're led to people for the express purpose of affecting and/or being affected by them, but I know that we affect each other anyway, intentionally or not. Knowing that, we should be aware of the affect we have on others and the affects they have on us, and in both cases, we should try to ensure that the effects we have on each other for the better.

Practicing Coexistence with Pets

I don't like pets. I consider them a nuisance more often than not. They make noise. They make messes. They're a chore to take care of. I know that there are benefits to pet-ownership, but I'm willing to bet I could get the same benefits in other ways or learn to live without them. I don't need any pets.

But I do need to learn how to live with them. My family owns pets. Some members of my family love pets. It may be that I will have to share my home with pets for the rest of my life. So, as much as I dislike pets, I have to learn how to coexist with them.

Perhaps that the lesson I'm supposed to learn from pets: how to coexist with others, particularly those whom I dislike or whose habits I dislike. One cat keeps sitting in my laundry, and another cat keeps sitting in my chair, but that hardly matters. I need to remain kind to these animals I live with, partly because I know they don't know any better, and partly simply because it's important to be kind, especially to those to whom it isn't easy to be kind. That is what it means to be tolerant, to be able to coexist with someone of something, even it they bother you.

We all have to learn how to coexist with each other, especially with the people whose ideas and behavior we dislike. It can be difficult to tolerate some people, but that's why tolerance takes practice. If it was easy, it wouldn't really be "tolerance." We need to learn to coexist with each other (and each other's pets), even when we think we'd be more comfortable if we didn't have to learn to coexist.

My family members' pets are teaching me the virtues of tolerance, coexistence, and patience. And if I can learn to practice these virtues with pets, I should certainly learn to practice them with people, too.

A Tireless Mind

I'm tired. I've been tried for hours, which unfortunately makes it more difficult to come up with things to blog about. I'm grateful that my resurrected body won't have this problem. We're often reminded that our resurrected bodies will be physically perfect and tireless, but I thin that they'll be mentally tireless, too.

Right now, I'm having a hard time keeping my eyes open and forming coherent sentences. I'm glad to know that, when I'm resurrected, I won't have these challenges and shortcomings anymore.

Righteous for the Reward

I keep seeing these ads for Biolife, a company that pays people to "donate" plasma. I put "donate" in quotation marks because is it really a "donation" if you're getting paid? But the main message of the ad prompts a similar question from me. The ad says that "Generosity is rewarding," but I wonder, is it really "generosity" if you're doing it for the reward?

I'd say that it's still Good to "be generous" and "donate" plasma, even if you're doing it for the money, and apparently I'm not alone in that opinion. God offers blessings for the righteous, but is it really "righteousness" if we're "being righteous" just for the blessings. Arguably not, but the good still gets done anyway. Those who donate plasma for payment still save lives, and that life-saving work should be rewarded. Hence the payment, the rewards, and perhaps even the blessings.

Naturally, God wants us to be good out of the goodness of our hearts, but some of us occasionally need more motivation than that. That may be partly why heaven exists, and it's almost certainly why God told us about it. He knew that we would additional motivation from time to time, so He offers us great blessings, and He tells us how we can earn them, perhaps trusting that that which we initially did for rewards, we would eventually do out of habit, and that which we do out of habit, we would eventually do because doing so is part of who we are. So, God offers us blessings in exchange for righteous actions, trusting that we would form righteous habits and develop righteous hearts.

We can do something similar. Apparently, Biolife does. We can offer rewards in exchange for the behavior we want to see. Is it manipulative? It doesn't have to be. It can be no more than an offer, a promise, and an option - take it or leave it. Is it shallow? At first. Those who do good for the rewards start out doing good only for the rewards. Their heart isn't really in it. At this stage, it is crucial that the good behavior is rewarded with good outcomes. If someone does good solely for the blessings, and then the blessings don't come, or at least don't seem to, then they may be tempted to wonder whether there's any point to doing good. Yet, if the good behavior is rewarded, it may be repeated and rewarded again, leading to a self-reinforcing cycle that can ultimately become a habit and even a part of a person's personality.

God offers blessings to people in reward for righteous behavior, so I doubt that many would consider it wrong to do so. And if it's not wrong to make the offer, I doubt it's wrong to accept it. It's okay, and even Good, to do Good, even if only for the blessings. The good gets done either way. I personally don't see any problem with the idea of being righteous for the sake of the rewards.

Cultivating Our Soil

It's fairly well known that the Parable of the Sower, found in Matthew 13, Mark 4, and Luke 8, is really more about the soil than the sower. Some seeds fall on good soil and grow, while other seeds fall on bad soil and get parched, choked, trodden, or eaten. As the interpretation goes, we are the soil. Some of us are receptive to the knowledge and wisdom of God, while others are not.

Yet, something that I heard recently reminded me that we don't have to always stay whatever kind of soil we are now. We can change. Through diligent effort, we can change for the better, and if we're not careful, we can change for the worse. If our ground is stony or thorny, we can remove the stones and thorns. If our ground is hard, we can plow it. But if we don't water and weed our soil, it can become bad ground, even if it started good.

I'm grateful to know that we won't always remain the way we are now. People change. If we are wise, careful, and diligent, we can change ourselves for the better. We can cultivate knowledge and wisdom and weed out falsehoods and foolishness. We can become better soil if we choose to. I'm grateful to know that progress is possible and that I don't always have to remain the kind of soil that I have been.

How to Help an Overwhelmed Introvert

One of the challenges of being introverted is that help can become unhelpful. Sometimes, I get tired, cranky, and overwhelmed. At those times, my family sometimes, generously, offers to help. They try to help me not be overwhelmed by assisting me with one of my tasks, or perhaps they simply offer me comfort and support. Yet, despite their good intentions, their offers to help can backfire. Every offer of assistance and comfort is another (albeit small) social interaction that can drain my energy even further, when it's already dangerously low. Every text they send me, offering comfort, support, or worse, advice, is a text that takes social energy to read and answer. I can't tell you how many times I've wanted to snap my phone in half or throw it across the room because of a poorly timed but well-intended text.

I don't expect most people to understand this, but when I'm feeling overwhelmed (and I hope it's obvious that I'm overwhelmed, because I'll likely be too overwhelmed to explain it), sometimes the best thing people can do for me is to give me some space. I'll get my work done (preferably without help), I'll calm down if I have to (preferably without further agitation), and I'll manage my emotions and energy levels as well as I can (preferably without people draining what little is left of my social and/or emotional energy). It's good that people what to help me, and I'm grateful for their desire to help, but sometimes, the best way to help me is, paradoxically, to leave me alone.

A Neat Little Proverb

Earlier today, a friend of mine shared what he called "a neat little proverb" with me.

Be Brave Enough to stand against danger alone,

Be Wise Enough to know when you cannot,

And be Strong Enough to ask for help.

We don't often have to "stand against danger alone," but there are other things we must do, and there are times when we have to do them alone. It takes a certain amount of courage and a certain kind of strength to face life's dangers and challenges alone, and we should all strive to develop that strength and courage in ourselves.

And when the challenge is beyond us, or when we would otherwise benefit from a helping hand, it's good to be wise enough to know when we need or could use some help. Even when we are brave enough to face challenges alone, it's smart to know when we can't and/or don't have to.

Yet, asking for help can sometimes be a challenge in its own right. It takes wisdom to know whom and when to ask, and it takes courage and strength to be willing to ask. Often, we let our pride or our desire to not be a burden to others prevent us from seeking the help that we need and that is readily available. But there is strength in numbers, and one kind of strength is the will to do what it takes to get more strength, even ask for help.

There are times when we need the strength and courage to stand alone, and there are times when we need the strength and courage to ask for help. May we always have the strength and courage to do what we must, and may we have the wisdom to know which kinds of strength and courage to exercise.

Choose To Be Kind

I think that the last part of Red's message from yesterday bears repeating for emphasis: "We can always choose to be kind, and that will always matter."

She said this in the context of someone who is doomed to suffer some terrible fate and can nonetheless choose to help others, even though they can't save themselves. Yet, what she said is true of people in every situation. We can always choose to be kind, no matter what our situation is.

I came very close to forgetting that lesson this evening. It was late, and I had already done so many things to help my family, and I felt like them asking me to do yet another favor for them tonight would push me over the edge. But they kept asking for help, and I almost stopped choosing to be kind. Thankfully, their requests ran out before my patience did, but it's humbling to know that, even in moments of growing impatience, I can still choose to be kind.

Normally, the choice to be kind is easy, but even when it's difficult, it's still possible. I need to be better at remembering that and at always choosing kindness, regardless of my circumstances.

The Doings of the Doomed

One of the uplifting messages I heard today came from a Trope Talk YouTube video about doomed heroes. In the outro, the speaker, Red, shared her thoughts about how a story about a doomed protagonist can still be more inspiring than depressing:

There is an odd, heartbreaking, satisfying grief in bearing witness to the heroics of a protagonist who's been dead from the beginning, who cannot possibly save themselves and is no longer trying, who is instead using every second they have left in the narrative to make the story a better place for everyone who will outlive them, because while we spend most of our lives caring for ourselves and driving our own narratives, at the end of the day, no matter what the night holds and what secret tragedies may be lurking for us, we can always choose to be kind, and that will always matter.

I find this relatable because, whether we know it or not, we're all doomed to die eventually, and when the inevitable happens, one of the few things that'll matter is whether and how much we made life better for everyone else. And if that's one of the few things that'll matter at the end of our lives, shouldn't that also be one of the only things that matter during it? When faced with mortality, people tend to pay a lot of attention to the choices they make and how they spend what little time they have left. But whether we face it or not, we're all mortal. All our days are numbered, whether the number is great or small, known or unknown. But the number of days we have left shouldn't matter to us, when one of the few things that really matter is how we spend them.

Personally, I'm going to try to use every day I have left, be they few, hundreds, or tens of thousands, to try to make life better for other people. I won't always succeed. I won't always succeed in trying. But if I have to die eventually, I hope I'll leave this place a little better than I found it.

The Virtue of Courtesy

Whenever my brother and I walk our mom's dog, we always bring poop bags with us, often more than we think we'll need. We always clean up after our dog, and we sometimes clean up after other people's dogs, too. It's just polite, like picking up litter and tidying up messes. We try to make the neighborhood we share with others a better place for our having been here, rather than a worse one.

We should all try to practice this kind of courtesy. We should all try to make life better for the people around us, or at least try not to make life worse. We should try to accommodate and care for others. We should try to lift them up rather than tear them down. We should clean up our own messes as best we can, and we should quietly help others with their messes as well. I think the world would be a much better place if we all had this commitment to the virtue of courtesy.

Too often, I find evidence of people making life worse for others. I smell cigarette or weed smoke. I see broken alcohol bottles and other trash. I see how people are hurting themselves and creating discomfort and danger for the people around them. But I, whose thankfully better-hidden pot is no less black than their brutally visible kettle, try not to judge. I have to work at trying not to make my problems other people's problems, as we all should. While it's wise to seek and accept help when needed and/or offered, it's courteous to try not to create problems for others.

As with most of my blog posts, this message isn't actually directed at any of you. These are lessons that I am learning and that I still need to learn. If you learn something too, that's great. I hope we can make the world better together. But these messages are mostly directed to me. I'm glad that I try to clean up my own and other people's messes. I should keep that up, and I should try not to make any more messes than I can't avoid making. I try to make other people's lives better, and that's good, but I should also keep trying very hard not to make anyone's life worse.

We all have to live with each other, some more closely than others. We should all do our parts to make and keep this world a comfortable place for everyone to live in together.

In the Right Place at the Right Time

Yesterday, I got lucky, or rather, I was blessed, to be the right person at the right place at the right time so that I could be a blessing to others.

I slept in a little bit yesterday morning. I knew I'd have some time between my morning exercise and my first tutoring appointment, so I cut into that time by half an hour so I could rest for another half hour before catching the bus to school.

On my way to school, I saw someone I recognized: the man with the lunchbox, whom I often run into while waiting for the bus. That morning, he was going for a walk with his wife and kid. His wife, having walked a bit ahead, paused to let them catch up. But the place at which she stopped was in front of someone's driveway, and that someone was ready to leave.

Something I haven't mentioned about the man and his wife before, because it wasn't relevant before, is that the two of them seem deaf, and I am now confident that at least the wife is. I've never seen either of them communicate audibly, just with signs. And when the person whose driveway the wife was blocking asked her to move and even honked at her, she couldn't hear him and didn't notice him.

But I, having happened to notice their deafness in our previous interactions, and having tweaked my schedule slightly to have happened to be there at that moment, knew what was going on, and I was able to step in to help. I informed the driveway owner that the woman was deaf, nonverbally got the woman's attention, and directed her attention to the man in the car in the driveway behind her. She cleared the way, the man drove away, and I felt lucky to have been the right person in the right place at the right time.

It felt then, and it feels now, that God had been working through me to make that little miracle happen. This is odd because I hadn't felt like I was being directed. I had chosen to change my schedule that morning because I was tired and lazy, not because I got the impression that it was, for some reason, important to leave later than normal that day.

A similar "coincidence" had happened years ago when I had taken a stray pitbull to the pound and was able to adopt her a week later with timing that seemed too lucky to have been mere luck. I hadn't felt impressed to leave the dog at the pound; I was just doing what I had thought was the best thing to do, and by some miracle, I turned out to have been right. God had turned my mistake into a miracle, and yesterday morning, He turned my laziness into a miracle, too.

God is very good at working miracles through imperfect people. We make mistakes and bad decisions every day. And yet, more often than is probable, those mistakes can work out to somehow have been the best thing we possibly could have done. I'm grateful that God is pulling strings to make miracles out of the decisions we make, and that, regardless of where we go, what we do, or when we leave, we frequently (miraculously) tend to end up in the right place at the right time.

X Is As X Does

This morning, following a conversation I had previously had about cowardice, I sort of stumbled into the maxim, "X is as X does." Traits and behaviors are good or bad to the extent that they cause or reduce happiness or suffering. For example, cowardice is sometimes evil in that it prevents people from taking actions that would prevent or alleviate harm. Yet, cowardice is not always evil. There are times when no bravery is required, so the cowardice does no harm. Cowardice is as cowardice does. In the cases where the cowardice does nothing wrong, there is nothing wrong with the cowardice.

This maxim may also apply to other things, even to good things. Normally, my blog is a good thing, because it encourages the generation and sharing of spiritually-uplifting and informative thoughts. But last night, my blog wasn't as helpful. The thoughts I generated last night weren't really worth sharing, and they certainly weren't worth stay up that late for. In fact, insofar as my blog kept me up later than was healthy for me, it could be said that my blog was, at least in that moment, harmful. Of course, the same could be said for many of the activities I engage with. Sometimes, they are good in that they cause happiness and help to reduce the harm caused by stress, and other times, they cause harm by keeping me up late. The activities themselves are neither good nor bad, but their effects can be either.

Some people say that "evil is as evil does," and I think it's true. Evil actions and traits are considered "evil" because of the evil (or the suffering) that those traits and actions cause. Similarly, good actions and traits are good because of the good that they do. It's all well and good to say that you have charity, empathy, and compassion, but unless you actually practice those traits, they aren't actually doing any good.

I only stumbled into this maxim this morning, but I currently think that it's a good rule of thumb to judge by. We can tell whether is something is good or evil by the good or evil they do. And since traits can have multiple effects, some good, some bad, those traits can be a mix of good and bad, along with everything else. We can judge everything by its actions, effects, and results, and we can tell whether something is good or bad based on the good or the bad that it does.

Out of Energy. Out of Time.

There are many events from today that I could blog about, but a lot of them are morally nuanced enough that it would take a good deal of time and energy to unpack them. I was dangerously low of energy hours ago, and now I am also desperately low on time. You're not going to get a quality blog post from me tonight. I'd apologize for that, but I'm even more sorry that I didn't give up sooner so I could go to bed at a reasonable time. At least I can go to bed now.

Quiet Fun with Family

I'm normally kinda anti-social. I find people tiring, and I dislike the amount of noise people tend to make. But tonight was different. Tonight, I just spent the evening with members of my household. We played a board game and a few rounds of UNO, we had family prayer and scripture study, and we watched my brother play a video game I introduced him to. It was mostly just a fun, chill, quiet evening, and I really enjoyed it.

Normally, I get overwhelmed with too many people making too much noise, but this small, quiet evening with a handful of family members was a very pleasant evening for me.

Grow Through What You Go Through

I had an opportunity to spend some time with my slightly-extended family at a park this evening. It was a great time, with lots of good food and fun playing together. While we were playing, I noticed that one of my nieces was wearing a shirt that said something like "Grow through what you go through," and I thought that was a good message, especially for the young.

We all have growing up to do, and we all have life experiences that can help us do it. The trick is to actually use our experiences to help us grow, rather than just experiencing them. We need to look for the lessons we can learn from our experiences, and we need to use our experiences to help us practice Christlike attributes. These skills are especially useful for younger people, since they have the most growing to do and the most experiences ahead of them, but the skills are also useful for the rest of us. As long as we have experiences ahead of us, we would do well to learn how to use them to grow.

Some say that our experiences, especially our negative ones, are our greatest teachers. I'm not sure I fully agree with that, but I do think that, as long as we need to go through suffering, we might as well use it to help us grow.

Sharing Adventure

One of the things I love most about the games I play is the ability to share adventures with my friends. Case in point, I played a single-player game and got my brother interested in it as well, and now I get to watch him experience the same adventure I went on, but in his own way. I get to celebrate his accomplishments with him, marvel at his ability to find secrets far more easily than I ever did, and offer him advice when it's needed and/or especially helpful. We got to laugh together when he tossed a fire bomb in a pool of water, and it went out instead of exploding, and we got to work out some of the details of the interactions of the magic items. My brother is having fun, and I'm having fun with him.

I really like this aspect of the games I play. I like being able to share thrilling experiences with my friends through games. And it doesn't even have to be through just games. Our lives themselves can be adventures. And one of the best parts of these adventures is being able to share them with others.