Negativity, Positivity, and Honesty

I find that I spend a lot of my blog posts going over a lesson I learned that day, usually in the form of something I did wrong or poorly and what I learned I should have done differently or better. While such self-reflection is important, it can also be draining and even harmful. You see, if the spiritual experience of me reflecting on and recording my thoughts focuses excessively on my own failings, then I may end up developing negative feelings toward myself and possibly toward spiritual experiences in general.

That said, I don't want to take the opposite route, either. I don't want to use these blog posts to praise myself, because that would feel dishonest, or at least prideful. It would make me guilty of the same issue many social media users are accused of having: putting a false, ideal face forward to make themselves seem better than they are.

Then again, perhaps the reason I conflate positivity with dishonesty is because I've spent too much time being negative about myself, repenting, and reflecting on my need to repent.

I want to be more positive. I'm not perfect; of course I'm not, but I'm not a bad person, either. I have positive and praiseworthy traits, and I hope that it's not prideful to personally be the one to praise them. I am kind and generous. I give service and help others. I am trying to be an honest, moral, good person, and I hope that it is neither dishonest nor prideful to say so. Even my desire to avoid dishonesty and pride is admirable, if I may say so of myself.

And why mayn't I? If I can blog about my failings and negative traits, I can blog about my successes and positive traits, too. I want to be honest. I want to be honest about myself. That includes sharing both the good and the bad. And the good news is, I'm not a bad person. I have some bad habits, as we all do, but I have good habits, too. If I can blog about what I do wrong, I can blog about what I do right, too. And maybe that'll help me be more positive overall, which is certainly a good thing.

I don't want to only focus on the negative aspects of my life, especially not in a spiritual context. I want to be able to be honest enough about myself to be able to blog about my positive aspects as well.