How to Gain Enough Confidence to Come Unto Him

After scaring our pants off with the idea of having a personal interview with the Savior, Elder Jorg Klebingat reminded us about how we're supposed to feel about such a meeting, and how we could feel, if we prepare for it. Yesterday, I shared the first half of the first paragraph of his talk. Here's the second half:

Would sins, regrets, and shortcomings dominate your self-image, or would you simply experience joyful anticipation? Would you meet or avoid His gaze? Would you linger by the door or confidently walk up to Him?

Elder Klebingat taught us that the feelings of doubt and dread come from the adversary.

The adversary knows that faith in Christ—the kind of faith that produces a steady stream of tender mercies and even mighty miracles—goes hand in hand with a personal confidence that you are striving to choose the right. For that reason he will seek access to your heart to tell you lies—lies that Heavenly Father is disappointed in you, that the Atonement is beyond your reach, that there is no point in even trying, that everyone else is better than you, that you are unworthy, and a thousand variations of that same evil theme.

Notice that Elder Klebingat called all those things lies. It is a lie to think that Heavenly Father is disappointed in you. The Atonement of Jesus Christ is not beyond our reach. There are still good reasons to keep striving to be righteous. You are not worse than everybody else. And you are worthy of God's love.

These are encouraging thoughts, and I believe that many of them are true, but I wonder about one of them. Is it a lie to think that Heavenly Father might be disappointed in me? I try to be righteous, but I sometimes fail. Wouldn't He be disappointed in me then? Isn't He disappointed when I get frustrated and angry, sometimes even with Him? Or is He just happy that I'm still trying to become a better person, even if I often fail at that? God is sometimes very patient in extending mercy, and sometimes He's rather vengeful in meting out justice. How long can I expect Him to be patient with me before He ultimately gives up on me? If I were Him, I'd have given up on me years ago. Hasn't He? Won't He?

I can imagine Heavenly Father being disappointed in me without giving up on me, but I can't imagine God giving up on me without Him being disappointed in me first. If what Elder Klebingat said is true, that it's a lie to think that Heavenly Father is disappointed in me as long as I'm trying to be righteous, then I'd guess that means that He hasn't given up on me, and so there's still hope. If that's true, then I'd say there's hope for anyone who's trying to follow God, even if they're doing very, very poorly at it.

I'd bet that a lot of people suffer from a lack of confidence before God. Elder Klebingat must have taken that bet, too, since he dedicated his Conference Talk to such feelings. In doing so, he presented six suggestions that will help us dispel feelings of self-doubt and restore feelings of confidence in our spiritual standing with God.

The first suggestion is to "take responsibility for our own spiritual well-being." This can be a painful choice to make, but we can't approach God honestly if we blame others for the way we are. God knows that we struggle with human weaknesses and that we will occasionally succumb to our weaknesses, through little or no fault of our own. But He also knows whether we're actually struggling against those weaknesses or not. If we only accept our weaknesses as just being part of who we are, we will never become better than the way we are right now. On the other hand, if we accept that this is the way we are now, but continue to strive to improve ourselves, God will be patient with our weaknesses, and those weaknesses will help us to become strong.

Elder Klebingat's second suggestion is to "take responsibility for our physical well-being," but in the name of time, I'm going to skip that one. If you feel that this may apply to you, I encourage you to review Elder Klebingat's talk yourself.

The third suggestion is to "embrace voluntary, whole-hearted obedience as part of your life." I'm not sure how well I like this one. I love the "voluntary obedience" part, but I'm a bit worried about the "whole-hearted" part. It reminds me of the "behavioral blank check" I had apprehensions about a few days ago. Though I ultimately decided to at least try to be obedient to all of God's commandments, even His future ones, whatever they may be, I wonder how willing I am to give all of my heart to God. There are some things that I enjoy doing that may not be completely in harmony with all of God's teachings, but that I don't feel ready to give up yet. I know that God doesn't have a problem with wholesome recreation, but what of recreation that's slightly less wholesome? Clean, peaceful video games are fine, in moderation, but what about Mario games, which involve kicking turtles around and throwing fireballs at walking mushrooms? The video game industry refers to this as "comic mischief," but I must admit that it's at least a little bit violent. It's probably not the kind of thing that Heavenly Father fully approves of, but it's not so bad that I need to give it up, is it?

Elder Klebingat said that "you can’t watch a bad movie and expect to feel virtuous because you did not watch a very bad one," and that "choosing something bad over something worse is still choosing wrong." I guess that answers my question. But still, I don't want to have to stop playing video games completely. I want to follow Jesus Christ, but I don't want to be so Christlike that I stop playing games with mild violence in them. Not yet, anyway. I'll have to blog more about this later. I'm running out of time and I have three more suggestions to list.

The fourth suggestion is to "become really, really good at repenting thoroughly and quickly." Repenting quickly is something that bothers me a little bit because it feels too easy. I feel like I need to suffer some remorse for my sins before I repent. I feel like I need to feel bad about myself, to punish myself, I guess, before I repent, and meting out my punishment for my wrongdoings is not my job - it's Gods. I should let Him decide how long and how hard I suffer before my sins are forgiven. He, through His prophets, has counseled us to repent quickly, so He can forgive us quickly when He's willing to. Sometimes, He'll let us "learn our lesson" but other times, we make ourselves suffer more than we need to because we feel unworthy of God's forgiveness, but we should let God be the judge of that - not us.

The fifth suggestion is to "become really, really good at forgiving." The assignment of punishment is God's job in both our case and in the cases of others. God will be just, or He will be merciful, but He has commanded us to be merciful, so we don't cause others to suffer any more than He thinks they should. Also, when we refuse to forgive others, we suffer a bit for it as well.

Elder Klebingat's final suggestion is to "accept trials, setbacks, and 'surprises' as part of your mortal experience." Life happens. Sometimes, life can be pretty rough. I'll admit that sometimes, God uses the trials of life to remind us that we need His help, and that we may need to repent of a few things to get it, but a lot of the time, God uses the natural trials of life to give us opportunities to overcome them and become stronger. Not all earthly trials are godly punishments for wrongdoings. Sometimes, they're really only there to give us experience. Elder Klebingat said:

Some trials come through your own disobedience or negligence. Other trials come because of the negligence of others or simply because this is a fallen world. When these trials come, the adversary’s minions begin broadcasting that you did something wrong, that this is a punishment, a sign that Heavenly Father does not love you. Ignore that! Instead, try to force a smile, gaze heavenward, and say, “I understand, Lord. I know what this is. A time to prove myself, isn’t it?” Then partner with Him to endure well to the end.

God doesn't want us or anyone to suffer any more than we need to. Sometimes, we need to suffer to get us to repent, and sometimes we need to suffer to become stronger. God will help us to judge between those things as we strive to follow Him. God wants us to come closer to Him, to "partner with Him" to help us understand and do what's right. He's not against us. God will never side against us. He always wants what's best for us. I still think that God may be disappointed in me sometimes, but I know now that God will never give up on me. He loves me. He loves all of us. And when we come home to Him, He'll be standing there ready to welcome us with open arms, ready to embrace us, if we're confident enough to come unto Him.