Reciprocity

I recently saw a commercial for the Big Bang Theory in which Penny offers Sheldon a gift, and Sheldon becomes upset. "The foundation of gift-giving is reciprocity," Sheldon explains. "You haven't given me a gift; you've given me an obligation. ... The essence of the custom is that I now have to purchase for you a gift of commensurate value and and representing the same perceived level of friendship as that represented by the gift you've given me. It's no wonder suicide rates sky-rocket this time of year."

While I don't agree with much of what Sheldon says here, I must admit to having experienced similar feelings. Earlier today, I was given gifts from my co-workers, and I immediately felt bad for having no gifts to offer them. Similarly, each year, I worry that the gifts I give my siblings won't be as good as the gifts my siblings give me. Almost any time I receive anything, I feel a sense of obligation to adequately repay the giver, followed by a sense of shame when I fail.

Fortunately, many people don't expect anything in return for the gifts they give but gratitude. This is especially fortunate in the case of everything that God has given us, including His Son, Jesus Christ.

We cannot repay Jesus Christ for everything He has done for us. We cannot repay our Heavenly Father for all the things He has given us. Heck, we can't even repay our earthly parents for all they give and do for us! It is impossible for any of us to give that much. What we can and should give them is our thanks.

God does not expect reciprocity. He knows that we could never repay Him, and He doesn't obligate us to try. In recompense for the gifts He offers us, all He asks is that we be grateful for our blessings and try to be righteous. All Jesus Christ wants in exchange for the Atonement is that we use it to become pure. Most good gift-givers are the same way. When I give someone a gift, I don't expect them to give me anything in return. All I want is for them to say "thank you" and to benefit from and enjoy whatever I have given them, whether it's a Christmas present, an act of service, or anything else.

If even I, who am far from perfect, am charitable enough to not expect gifts in return for the gifts that I give, then it shouldn't surprise me when my co-workers and family members who are more Christlike than I am feel the same way about the gifts and service they give me. Good gift-givers don't expect reciprocity; they just give out of the goodness of their hearts.

So let's all try not to worry about whether or not we owe people gifts because of the gifts they give us. Odds are, they aren't anywhere near as concerned about reciprocity as we are.