The other day, I blogged about the difference between "no problem" and "you're welcome," and how each phrase is more appropriate for different situations, but I glossed over the situations in which neither phrase applies, and I neglected to say anything about what I say when both apply. I should probably discuss that with you, lest my incomplete explanation cause confusion later down the line.
When I could honestly say either "you're welcome" or "no problem," I usually say the former, but I don't do this to exaggerate the difficulty of the task I had been asked to do. When I say "you're welcome," I don't mean to imply that the task I had just done had been difficult. Rather, I mean to say that the recipient is welcome to my service, whether that service is difficult or not.
So, if you ever thank me for something, and I say "you're welcome" rather than "no problem," please don't take that to mean that I felt that it was a problem to have to do whatever it was that was asked of me. Please don't assume that I thought a task was taxing, just because I don't say that it wasn't. Maybe it was a difficult task, maybe it wasn't. If I don't mention which it was, that's because I didn't feel that the difficulty or easiness of the task was important enough to specify, in which case, it certainly isn't important enough to worry about.
What is important is love. Just as Westley meant "I love you" when he said "As you wish," when I say "you're welcome," what I mean is that I love you enough to serve you, that I was probably glad of an opportunity to express my love for you, and that you may consider yourself welcome to future help if you need it.
In that case, maybe I should say "you're welcome" even if I don't feel that the recipient is truly "welcome" to my help. I may not feel like serving someone, but if I do so anyway, I guess I must have been willing to do so, so perhaps I did feel sufficient love for that person to serve them, and while I probably wasn't glad to have an opportunity (and obligation) to serve that person, I'd probably be willing to serve them again under similar circumstances. Maybe that person would be welcome to my help, even though I don't always feel like they are. Maybe I could still say "you're welcome" to them honestly, even if I don't mean it in every sense of the term.
I'm glad I've explored the semantics between these two phrases. This has helped me solve a puzzle that has troubled me for years, and it gave me an opportunity to tell those to whom I say "you're welcome" that I usually mean it as an expression of love. I may still say "no problem" when the phrase applies, even if I deeply love the person whom I've just served, but I think I'll say "you're welcome" more often from now on, and it'll certainly mean more when I say it.
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