An Open and Critical Mind

The third chapter of one of my textbooks for this semester ends by extolling the virtue of having an open, yet critical mind. It's important to have a mind that's open to new ideas. Without such open minds, the Restoration could not have happened, and no one could actually investigate, let alone convert to, the church. Yet, we must also think critically. We must use logic and reason, experience and wisdom, honesty and truth. We must evaluate everything we read and hear, to do our part in helping God help us learn what's right and what's wrong.

I am trying to have an open and critical mind. I'm trying to listen to others sincerely and carefully, both to help me understand what they say and mean and to determine the truth of what they say and mean. As I've done so, I've felt the Spirit help me understand things that I wouldn't even have considered otherwise. I'm grateful to have learned truths that I never would have dreamed of,had I not had an open and critical mind.

Philosophical Stepping Stones

The other day, I and dozens of others heard my niece sing a line that I had once described as being so wrong that I could feel the wrongness as I typed it. My niece had the honor of playing Elsa in a junior production of Frozen (with surprisingly sophisticated special effects). As part of playing that role, she sang the famous song "Let It Go," including the line "No right, no wrong, no rules for me. I'm free." 

When Frozen was released, it faced a lot of backlash, especially directed at this song in particular, and I had been a part of that backlash. But I recently watched a video that caused me to rethink my view of "Let It Go" and of another Disney song, "Hakuna Matata." In a Cinema Therapy video, Jonathan Decker, licensed therapist who loves movies, spoke of both of those songs and how they represented a necessary, but necessarily-temporary philosophy for their respective characters. Simba needed to learn not to worry about his father's death when there was nothing he could do to fix the resulting problems, and Elsa needed to learn to let go of her fear of her ice magic after having repressed them so long. Neither character was entirely healthy in that space, and importantly, neither of them end their stories there, but they were both necessary steps toward a better, healthier place.

The same could possibly be said about some of the philosophies I currently hold. For instance, I'm currently learning about Stoicism, a more mature version of the better parts of the Hakuna Matata philosophy. Stoicism basically means to focus on that which is within your control and to let go of that which lies outside your control. The focus is on making good choices, not on hoping for good outcomes. I don't know whether this will be a good long-term philosophy, but at the very least, it's a step in the right direction.

Not all philosophies are meant to last forever. Some of them can be used as stepping stones to get you somewhere better. Embrace the philosophies that help you, but if a philosophy outlives its helpfulness and becomes more like a millstone or a crutch, it may be wise to be willing to "let it go."

Make Time for Family

This evening, over dinner, I scheduled time to spend with some of my family members whom I don't get to see as often as I'd like. It almost feels weird to compare schedules and set a specific time to spend together, but sometimes, that's what it takes. We have busy lives. If we don't deliberately make time for the people who matter to us, that time will just slip away. I'm glad we scheduled a time to see each other. It's important to make time for family.

Maintaining My Core Beliefs

While working on a blog post to which I am now too tired and too late to do justice, I was rereading some of my old blog posts and considering how my opinions have and haven't changed on some matters. I still hold beliefs that I feel are central to the core of my moral philosophy. I still believe in "Live and Let Live," and I still believe that you should "Act According to Your Beliefs," whether or not those beliefs correlate at all with mine. Some specific details may have changed, and I now consider some principles to be more or less important than I used to, but the core of my morality has remained unchanged for at least nine years.

Personally, I'm not sure how I feel about this. It could be a good sign, since it means that my beliefs are still proving wise, even as I become better at discerning what's wise. But on the other hand, it could be a bad sign, indicating that I'm not evaluating my beliefs thoroughly enough to identify and expunge the foolish beliefs that I was once foolish enough to hold. Thankfully, I'm somewhat comforted in the knowledge that some of my beliefs have changed, indicating a change in my wisdom. If my beliefs continue to stand up to scrutiny, even as I become better at evaluating wisdom, then I can be increasingly certain that they are actually wise.

I'm glad that my core beliefs are still my core beliefs. I may be wrong (and if I am, I hope I change my mind later), but I think that that's a good sign that I'm on the right track.

A Dud Night

There have been days that I've missed blogging. This is practically one of them. I let this evening get away from me, and now it's super late, I still have work to do tonight, and I have no idea what I want to blog about. So, tonight is a dud night, I'm afraid. Hopefully, it'll be the last blog post I blog about how I have no idea what to blog about. I may continue to blog occasionally after completing ten years of (mostly) daily blogging, but if I do, I'll only blog when I have something to blog about. This is a post of necessity, not inspiration. In the future, I intend to ensure that the ratio of good posts to half-hearted ones is much, much higher. In the meantime, I hope you can be patient with me.

Behavior, Feeling, Need - How to Turn off a Smoke Alarm

I just found this on Facebook. And just in case something goes strangely with the image, here's a transcription of the important parts. "Beneath every behavior there is a feeling. And beneath each feeling is a need. And when we meet that need, rather than focus on the behavior, we begin to deal with the cause, not the symptom."

I have found this to be true in my personal life. I have a handful of behaviors that I have been trying to change, and for a long time, I had been focusing on the behavior, trying to increase my self-control. I was ignoring my needs and feelings. In essence, I was trying to turn off the warning signs that my needs weren't being met. That's like taking the battery out of an annoying smoke detector instead of putting out the fire or getting out of the burning building. Now that I've gotten a better idea of what the real problems are, I've been able to begin figuring out how to actually solve them.

I'm learning to stop worrying about the symptom and to start focusing on the cause. Once the fire is out and the smoke is cleared, the alarm will stop on its own.

Who Do I Want to Be?

I just watched a Cinema Therapy video about The Lion King, which naturally included the scene where Mufasa tells Simba to "Remember who you are." Jonathan Decker, the therapist of Cinema Therapy, said that when people tell him they don't know who they are, he asks them who they want to be. 

"Identity is everything," according to Decker. Some see their identity as the spark of the divine within them, and some people see their identity as the core of their being, sometime one can find by stripping away the excess, and Decker seemed to consider these valid analogies, but he also said that identity is something you create. We can manifest our identities through our desires.

In another recent video, Stoic philosopher Ryan Holiday said, "We assemble our life step by step," likely paraphrasing another Stoic philosopher who apparently said, "You have to assemble your life yourself - action by action."

I'd like to do that. Or rather, I would like to do that, if I knew what kind of life I want to assemble. I have a life, a few hobbies, a handful of passions, and very few practical, useful ideas. What I don't have is any clue how to turn that into a life I can live long-term. I can look for opportunities, but I'm not sure what kinds of opportunities to look for, how to recognize them, whether I'll get any opportunities of that kind, or whether I'd recognize such opportunities if I got them. I'm not sure how to build the kind of life I want because I don't know what of life I'd want to, or even could, build.

That said, I know some basic ideas for the life I'd like to have. I know some traits of mine that I'd like to develop, like generosity, kindness, helpfulness, and strength, and I know a few traits of mine that I'd like to diminish, including temper and self-doubt. That's not a clear, idealizable role-model, but it's a start. And maybe that start is enough for now. It's not a clear idea of who I want to be, but it's a fair description of who I want to be, and it's certainly a step in the right direction.

I will gradually become a stronger, wiser, better person, not just because that's who I am, but also because that's how I choose to be.