Thursday, January 26, 2023

Behavior, Feeling, Need - How to Turn off a Smoke Alarm



I just found this on Facebook. And just in case something goes strangely with the image, here's a transcription of the important parts. "Beneath every behavior there is a feeling. And beneath each feeling is a need. And when we meet that need, rather than focus on the behavior, we begin to deal with the cause, not the symptom."

I have found this to be true in my personal life. I have a handful of behaviors that I have been trying to change, and for a long time, I had been focusing on the behavior, trying to increase my self-control. I was ignoring my needs and feelings. In essence, I was trying to turn off the warning signs that my needs weren't being met. That's like taking the battery out of an annoying smoke detector instead of putting out the fire or getting out of the burning building. Now that I've gotten a better idea of what the real problems are, I've been able to begin figuring out how to actually solve them.

I'm learning to stop worrying about the symptom and to start focusing on the cause. Once the fire is out and the smoke is cleared, the alarm will stop on its own.

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