Pain and Empathy

I've been thinking about empathy lately. Some people I've been reading about in my American Literature class seemed to have lacked it, and some people, including myself, have given them a hard time about it, but given my recent first-hand experience with pain, I've noticed that it's far too easy for one to become preoccupied with one's own suffering, and to ignore, or to simply not notice the suffering of others.

I've been very selfish these last few days. I've gotten frustrated and angry when I really had no right to be. My pains and challenges are no worse than most other peoples'. In fact, there are thousands of people are much worse off than I am. What right do I have to complain or feel sorry for my own troubles? My hardships pale in comparison to those of others.

Yet, pain is something that is very difficult to compare. Pain is a sensation that is not seen, but felt, and we can really only feel our own. This means that we cannot accurately say that our pain is worse than anyone else's, because we have no idea how bad their pain is - we've never felt it, and we never will.

Because we don't feel the suffering of others, it's easy to minimize it. The act of doing that is sometimes called "being insensitive," and we are. We are "insensitive" to other people's suffering because that's a sensation we literally cannot feel. We can see signs of suffering in others, and we can have sympathy for their pain if we've ever felt pain that we think is comparable, but we can never really feel the pain of others. Only one person ever has.

In the Garden of Gethsemane, Jesus Christ took upon Himself all the pains of the world. He personally felt the exact same pain that each of us feel. He alone knows how bad our pain is, and can accurately compare it to others.

We, on the other hand, need to try harder to be sensitive to the feelings of others, and not become too focussed on our own problems. I've been too bothered lately with my own pain and problems, and too blind to the pain and problems of others. Feeling and focussing on only one's own pain is very human. Trying to exercise compassion and empathy is truly divine. There are many divine people in my life. I should try harder to be more like them, to be more thoughtful and caring, more interested in alleviating the pain of others, and less concerned and preoccupied with the pain that I feel. I'm sure my pain is negligible compared to that of others. I should try to care more about their pain than about mine.

Empathy is a difficult aspect to develop. In fact, it may even be impossible for us to develop it, in the sense that we can't really feel anybody else's pain. We can, however, have sympathy for others and try to be sensitive to their pain. We can't feel it, but we can sometimes see the signs of it - especially when we care enough to look.

I know that I'm preaching to the choir here. Like many of my blog posts, this is a lesson I need to learn more than any of my readers do. I am the one who has been self-centered and insensitive lately. I'm the one who needs to get over my own problems and spend more time helping others with theirs. At the very least, I should try to be more sensitive to and more mindful of the feelings of others. Jesus Christ was never so selfish as I have been. He always had and expressed a great deal of compassion. I should try harder to follow His example.