Deciding to Be a Paladin - Whatever that Means

Last night, I wrestled with my indecision, saying that "I don't know what I want to be," but that's not completely true. That may be true professionally, but on a personal level, I know what I want to be. I want to be a Paladin.

Knowing that I want to be a Paladin can help me make decisions in my personal life. It can help me decide to do what a Paladin would do. So, when I encounter a situation where I have to make a choice that has any moral bearing at all, I don't have to agonize over the decision. I often do, but I don't have to, because the choice should be obvious. A Paladin would at least try to do the right thing. If I want to be like a Paladin, so should I.

Yet, while that can help me make moral decisions, that won't necessarily help me make professional decisions. In their fantastical settings, the occupation of any given Paladin is probably just being a Paladin. Whether that means guarding their town or city both as a duty and a job, serving as professional clergy, or going out on quests funded by a church or another patron or by the treasures found by the Paladin over the course of the quest. In fantasy worlds, Paladins make their money simply by being Paladins.

Obviously, that won't work for me. My church doesn't have paid clergy and I don't have what it takes to be a modern "town guard." I don't want to be a cop or a soldier. When I was young, I toyed with the idea of wanting to be a firefighter, but I don't want to do that either. I want to help people, but not in a way that depends on physical ability, which is certain to decline rather than improve with age. Sure, if I work out, I'll be stronger in the coming years than I am now, but relying on physical strength is not a good long-term strategy.

So, what else could I do to simulate being a Paladin? How else could I help others for a living? Being a lawyer or a politician seems to be an obvious choice. It allows you to defend the defenseless. Yet, it relies on an intricate knowledge of a complex system of laws that I would really rather not have to study. Doctors and psychiatrists also work as Paladins by being healers, but they too rely on knowledge that I do not possess and have little interest in gaining, though learning how to be a psychiatrist seems a lot more appealing to be than learning to be a doctor. In a different way, teachers and tutors help people as well, and I'm already on that career path, so I might as well follow it. But teaching people the half-dozen ways to correct comma splices isn't an action that readily comes to mind when I think about being a Paladin. Inspiring confidence in others is something a Paladin might do, so I could focus my tutoring on inspiring my students. Paladins often serve as guides and mentors. Perhaps I could view my tutoring in that light as well. Maybe I could teach and tutor like a Paladin.

But how can I blog like a Paladin? If a Paladin suddenly found himself with a blog, what would he do with it? Of course, he would honor his commitment to blog daily (or nightly), as a Paladin tries to honor all of his commitments. But what would he say on his blog? What would he blog about?

I think that a Paladin might try to use his blog to spread faith, guidance, and inspiration as far as his voice could carry. A Paladin would try to encourage others to do good and be good. I like the sound of that. I would like my blog to be a place where people can turn for inspiration, and not just to hear my introspection and political opinions. I'd rather inspire people than present an argument to them. So, I'll try to focus on that.

I am so grateful that I've found a role-model like Paladins. As I strive to become more like a Paladin, I may eventually overcome my indecision to the point where I consistently blog and teach and behave like a Paladin. And who knows? Given enough time to practice, I may eventually figuratively become a Paladin.