Drained

I feel drained. I frequently feel drained. Especially on Sundays. Especially at the end of Sundays.

Maybe I'm just an introvert and spending so much time surrounded by people who want to shake my hand and talk at me for an uncomfortable amount of time is tiring to me. Maybe I'm just a bad person who's tired of hearing about the hundred-some things that I should or should not be doing. Maybe I just see Sunday as the end of the week rather than the beginning, and all the week's tiredness catches up with me then.

Whatever the reason, I always feel drained at the ends of Sundays rather than replenished. Sunday is supposed to be a day of rest, but I never feel rested by the end of them.

Ironically, I get far more rest from riding my bike and talking walks, where I can be alone with just myself and some fresh air. I also get more rest by singing a hymn to myself than by singing it with the rest of the congregation.

I must be an introvert. That's the problem. I just wonder if that's the whole problem or if there's more to it. Is that the whole reason going to church drains me, or is there something else?

Regardless, I think I need (and this is going to sound truly insane) another hour of church, or rather an hour of worship before or after church. I need to take some time to enjoy some quiet. Maybe some relaxing, instrumental hymns. Maybe some scripture-reading. Definitely a lot of prayer. I need to spend some time every day, but especially on Sundays, restoring my spiritual strength.

Church doesn't do it for me. Church does the opposite to me. I don't need more church. I need more worship.