Bonus Post: A Pitiful Repayment

Along the same lines as my official blog post of the day, I'm reminded that prayer is not just for telling God things. We also use prayer to ask God for blessings, including answers to questions, and now I wonder if telling God a little bit about our lives is part of how we repay God for telling us a little bit about His plan and the universe. At first, I thought that, of course, tell God a few things about ourselves is a poor way to repay Him for the light and knowledge He shares with us, let alone the miracles He does for us and the many other blessings He brings into our lives, but it may be that He loves us so much that He's happy with even the smallest amount of repayment.

I'm reminded of a scene in one of my favorite movies, which may even be my favorite movie. In a conversation at the beginning of the film, a character talks of an arrangement she and her son have with her mother, her son's grandmother: Grandma helps them pay their bills, asking only for pictures of the two of them in return.

In my opinion, this generosity reflects the generosity of God. In effect, they're each saying "In return for helping you overcome the biggest challenges in your life, I just want to be a part of your life and for you to be a part of mine."

It's not possible for us to fully repay God. There's a scripture in Mosiah that says something to that effect. But God's not asking for a full repayment. All He really wants in return for everything He does for us is for us to love Him and His children. Sometimes, that means visiting the sick and afflicted, sometimes that means telling God how our day went. Regardless of what form our expressions of love take, it's a small price to pay for our blessings, and even when it takes a measurable amount of sacrifice to show our love for God and others, God repays us in spades. That's also in Mosiah.

It's strange that, in some ways, God wants very little from us, and in other ways, He wants everything we can give Him. In the end, all He really wants from us is our hearts. Whether you see that as a huge sacrifice or a tiny one is up to you, but either way, it's a pitiful repayment for what God offers us in return.

Tell Him Anyway

There are several blog posts worth of insights from Elder Richard G. Scott's talk, Make the Exercise of Faith Your First Priority. The first one I want to blog about is about prayer.

Choose to converse with your Father in Heaven often. Make time every day to share your thoughts and feelings with Him. Tell Him everything that concerns you. He is interested in the most important as well as the most mundane facets of your life. Share with Him your full range of feelings and experiences.

It sometimes seems foolish to tell God things in prayer. Surely He already knows what challenges we face, how we feel, and what blessings we need and want. There's nothing we can say that God, being omniscient, doesn't know. Yet, God wants us to tell Him anyway. Why?

Maybe He just wants to talk with us, to have a conversation with us. We are, after all, His children. Even if you already know everything that's going on in your child's life, it can be rewarding to talk with them about it and bond with them over it.

Also, talking to God about things can help us put things into perspective. If we wouldn't bother God with some minor problem we're having, maybe we shouldn't let it bother us, either. On the other hand, it our problems do bother us, we can talk to God about them, and talking about them can bring us some peace. We may even be inspired in finding a solution to our problems when we bring them to God.

It astonishes me that the God of the whole universe wants to hear about my daily life. He wants to hear about my troubles and desires, as trivial as they may be. I'm even more astonished that the God of the whole universe wants to talk to me. I'm nobody. I'm beneath His attention. Or am I? Perhaps the reason God wants me to talk with Him, the reason He's willing to take time to listen to my feelings and troubles, is because He wants to convince me of how important I am to Him. He wants to spend time talking with us because He loves us. Even if the things you have to say seem trivial, He wants to hear it because if it matters to you, it matters to Him, if only because you matter to Him.

So, if you feel reluctant to talk to God because you don't think you have anything grand to tell Him, pray anyway. Even if all you can say is a brief anecdote about something that happened that day, which you know He already saw, tell Him anyway. If you think your problems are too small to be worthy of God's attention, tell Him anyway. If you think you're too small to be worthy of God's attention, talk to Him anyway. He wants to hear from you. He wants so badly to hear from you that He's willing to listen to anything you want to say to Him. I know from my own life that even when you're angry with Him, shouting at Him, He's glad to hear from you. Even if you have nothing but unkind things to say to Him, tell Him anyway. Praying has brought more peace to my soul than my angry words deserved.

I hope you never feel like you don't have anything worthy of telling to God. The purpose of prayer is not to inform God of anything He didn't already know. We couldn't do that if we tried. The purpose, or at least part of it, is to bond with God, to connect with Him, to communicate with Him so we can build and strengthen a relationship with Him. Lately, I haven't be praying regularly because I didn't feel like I had anything important enough to tell Him. Tonight, I'm going to pray to Him anyway. I may not have anything to say other than what He already knows, but now I know that He wants me to talk with Him anyway. So I will.

Tottering Toddlers

When I first heard President Deiter F. Uchtdorf's talk, Four Titles, I was so caught up in how well it answered a question I had, that I seem to have missed part of it. But when my mom watched it again recently, I heard the part that I had missed.

We have all seen a toddler learn to walk. He takes a small step and
totters. He falls. Do we scold such an attempt? Of course not. What
father would punish a toddler for stumbling? We encourage, we applaud,
and we praise because with every small step, the child is becoming
more like his parents. 

Now, brethren, compared to the perfection of God, we mortals are
scarcely more than awkward, faltering toddlers. But our loving
Heavenly Father wants us to become more like Him, and, dear brethren,
that should be our eternal goal too. God understands that we get there
not in an instant but by taking one step at a time. 

I do not believe in a God who would set up rules and commandments only
to wait for us to fail so He could punish us. I believe in a Heavenly
Father who is loving and caring and who rejoices in our every effort
to stand tall and walk toward Him. Even when we stumble, He urges us
not to be discouraged—never to give up or flee our allotted field of
service—but to take courage, find our faith, and keep trying.

This message gives me a lot of hope. I know that I stumble far more frequently than I should, and I often have to pray for God to be patient with me. I'm grateful to hear that God "rejoices in our every effort to stand tall and walk toward Him." I may not be very good at that, but I'm glad to know that He's pleased with me just for trying.

We all struggle. As President Uchtdorf said, we are very much like toddlers. No one understands that better than God does, and yet, no one loves us more than God does. He sees our weakness, but He also sees our potential, and He sees how hard we're trying to live up to it. I stumble frequently, but I'm still tottering forward, one baby step at a time. I'm growing slowly, but I'm growing, and I know that someday I'll grow up to become what I was born to be.

Stay in the Boat - Even in the Calm

It's probably about time that I got back to blogging from General Conference talks. In his Sunday Afternoon session talk, Stay in the Boat and Hold On!, Elder M. Russell Ballard shared a story of a rafting trip in which the first rule that was given by the rafting instructor was "Stay in the boat." This seemed a little bit odd to me. It seems to me that such a rule, while important, would hardly be necessary. Who in their right minds would willingly get out of a raft while rafting down rapids?

But then later in the talk, Elder Ballard quoted Brigham Young as having said:

It is in calm weather, when the old ship of Zion is sailing with a gentle breeze, [and] when all is quiet on deck, that some of the brethren want to go out in the whaling boats to have … a swim, and some get drowned, others drifted away, and others again get back to the ship. Let us stick to the old ship and she will carry us [safely] into the harbor; you need not be concerned.

Not all stretches of river have rapids, and not all rafting trips involve rapids at all. Sometimes, when life is good, people start to think that they're doing okay, that they can loosen up a little, that they can get out of the raft and enjoy a dip in the river. But in life, rapids come up unexpectedly. You never know when the next trial in your life or next test of your faith will come, so it is imperative that you stay in the boat of the gospel and hold on to gospel principles, so you can be ready whenever rapids come up.

But President Young's talk had nothing to do with rapids. There doesn't have to be life-threatening problems ahead to make leaving the "old ship Zion" a fatal mistake. Some people about whom President Young spoke simply drifted away. The gospel of Jesus Christ provides protection, and people can't tread water on their own forever. Even if you are a strong swimmer, and even if the water is calm, there is danger in leaving the safety of the boat. If you overestimate your strength and swim out just a little bit too far, you might not make it back to the boat in time.

The only safe way to make sure you're in the boat when you need to be is to never leave the boat at all. On a rafting trip, when you know that there's some risk of death, that's easy. But in real life, when the life that's at stake is a spiritual one, the risk and the danger can be harder to see. Some commandments can sometimes seem pointless. Some sins can sometimes seem safe. Some prophetic counsel can sometimes seem foolish or out of touch with the modern world, but the guidance of the living prophets could not be any more modern or any more wise or important. We need to hold on to their counsel like our lives depend on it, even when life is calm. There is danger, even in the calm, and we never know when the next set of rapids will appear. The only way to be sure that we're safe is to stay in the safety of the boat.

Good Boy, Good Man

In my mind, it's not a huge leap from a good boy to a good young man, or from a good young man to a good man. I don't know whether you'd put an 11-year-old with the boy group or the young men group, but the 11-year-old who wrote this letter to Sports Illustrated is definitely good.

When I read that letter this morning, I felt my faith in humanity being restored. I knew when I read this that there are good young men out there, and they're going to grow into good men, and they're going to change the world. If I'm ever in the position where I can hire the man who wrote this, I will, because I know that he has a great deal of moral courage and virtue. The world needs more young men like him.

Something I find especially impressive about this young man is something he mentions almost in passing. "I even wrote a speech for school that encourages boys of my generation to be gentlemen." "Boys of [his] generation" are a bunch of 10-to-12-year olds. A boy of age 11 (or younger!) wrote a speech encouraging other boys no older than he is to rise up and be gentlemen. I don't need to say that this young man will change the world. He's already doing it.

Unfortunately, I don't think Sports Illustrated will respond to this letter. It would be great if they did, but they won't. Personally, I think this letter would be a thrilling success if people started to emulate this young man. He wrote a letter voicing his moral opinions and shared that message with the world. This young man is awesome, and I want to be more like him.

I am fully convinced that this young man is going to grow to become a great man and that he'll do great and good things. His father is a good man, and his children will likely be good men and women, too. It's true that evil is spreading in the world, but good is spreading, too. This young man is playing an active and powerful role in the promotion of good. He is doing what I want to be doing. If he were any older than I am, I'd say that I want to grow up to be like him. But he is living proof that you don't have to grow up to be good. He's not a man yet, but he's a good young man, and he'll become a good man in time.

I'm glad he's a part of the rising generation, and I'm glad that he's changing the world.

God's Permission ≠ God's Will

As I was able to get most of my paper written yesterday (I'll finish off the last few paragraphs today), without ever mentioning the Book of Mormon or my personal beliefs, perhaps I actually had gotten that information out of my system yesterday morning and God doesn't actually want me to mention my religion in my essay. Then again, I probably shouldn't assume, because I was able to do something, that God didn't want me to do something else.

God often allows things to happen that aren't necessarily according to His will, and some people sometimes mistake His lack of interference for a sign that He actually willed the thing to happen. For example, I could go out and kill some random stranger, and I don't think that God would stop me. I'm should He could apply some Divine Intervention, but I don't think He would. God lets us make our own choices, even when those choices involve committing serious sins. That doesn't mean that God wants us to go out and commit sin - just that He won't stop us. As another example, the early settlers were "allowed" to kill native Americans, but I'm not sure if that was God's will or not, as they assumed it was.

There are many paths available to us, and because God respects our freedom to exercise our agency, He doesn't often "hedge up" the paths He doesn't want us to take. He may give us a nudge here or there, as He might have done for me yesterday, but He's not going to force us to act according to His will. So we shouldn't assume that because God permits something to happen, that means God wanted it to happen. I don't think it's God's will for anyone to commit sin, but He still lets it happen because He gave us that freedom of choice.

I chose to write a paper that doesn't mention the Book of Mormon. Perhaps that was a mistake on my part. I don't think it was a sin. It may be a display of cowardice, or it may be a display of caution. I'm too close to the issue to rightly judge. Anyhow, that is the choice I have made, and I highly doubt that I still have time to change it. It may be in accordance with God's will for me to have written the paper I wrote, but I won't assume so. I can't always tell what the Lord's will is. All I can do is try to learn it through the scriptures and modern revelation, including personal revelation, and try to act according to whatever light we have. I might have ignored a prompting this time. If I have, I'll try not to do it again.

America: The Promised Land

I'm currently in the process of writing a 1250 word essay about how a strong belief in God among the early settlers of this country has shaped the "American Ethos," which, if I understand the term correctly, refers to the values and principles held by most Americans or by America as a whole. In my paper, I state that most of the people that came to America felt that they had been brought here by the hand of God, and that God wanted them to be here. Some thought that this gave them the "divine right" to all of America's goods, and the natives were inconsequential. Others felt that America was a sort of "Promised Land" that God would allow them the privilege of living in so long as they lived worthily of the privilege.

A few things that I'm not putting in my paper, however, are that it was the native's Promised Land first, and that their patriarch, Lehi, prophesied that "there shall none come into this land save they shall be brought by the hand of the Lord" (2 Nephi 1:6), which is a real shame, because that would be an awesome quote to include. Because of the Book of Mormon, I know that this continent is, indeed, the Land of Promise that many settlers felt that it was. I know that the settlers must have been brought into the land by the hand of God, as they felt they were. I also suspect that it was in line with God's will for the settlers to scourge the Native Americans, or Lamanites, because they had rejected God and become wicked, and were perhaps no longer worthy to live on this land of promise.

It's horrible that I have so much information that confirms so much of what the settlers believed, and I can't use any of it. Sure, I could say that "I believe" such and such, but I couldn't say why I believe it without getting my religion involved. Then again, this paper is all about the religion of the settlers, so why shouldn't I involve mine? It's not very professional. It would be hard to make it sound good. It might adversely affect my grade on this paper. But what have I got to lose? I've been struggling to write this paper. Maybe God has been hedging up my way because He wants me to write about what I know and believe on this subject. The settlers were right to think that they were brought here by the hand of God. They may even have been right in thinking that they were justified in attacking the natives. It's hard to excuse their brutality, but it wouldn't have been the first time God condoned the martial destruction of a wicked people.

It's hard for me to know when I should involve my religion in a paper or a class and when not to. I generally don't because religion usually doesn't have much to do with the subject matter and I don't want to make things awkward for people or spark any religious debates in class. I can't bring my religion into the picture without opening up a can of worms that may be better left closed. As I work on my essay some more this afternoon, I'll pray to guidance to know what to say and I'll pray that if God wants me to include references to the Book of Mormon, He'll continue to make it difficult for me as I try not to. I had hoped that writing this blog post would get this out of my system, but I'm afraid that it just primed the pump. I may have to take my chances, especially since I'm beginning to think that God wants me to.

A Few Hard-Learned Lessons From an Exceptionally Blogworthy Experience

Something immensely blogworthy happened this morning, and I've picked up several lessons from it. I know it has nothing to do with the lesson I'm giving this afternoon, but it'd be ungrateful and foolish of me to not record the insights God has given me about the experience. To understand these insights, you first need to know what the experience was.

Last night, while we had guests over for card games and a movie, my brother took off his CTR ring and left it on a book he left on the game table when he left for work. Some time during one of the games, I moved the book off of the table, not noticing whether or not the ring was on it, and the ring became lost. This morning, my brother explained that the ring had immense sentimental value to him, and we took the room apart searching for it. I felt terrible for having moved the book and lost the ring, but I also felt that my brother should have been more careful with something so precious to him. I would have been more careful with the ring, had I known how much it meant to him and had I noticed it was there. As it turned out, one of the guests, a close friend of my brother, had picked up the ring, held it for safekeeping, and returned it to my brother when they met again this morning. A few minutes ago, he sent me a text message letting me know that the ring had been "found," and we were all very relieved.

One of the lessons to be learned from this is to notice things - especially things that are important to those close to you. I had no idea the ring meant so much to my brother, but I should have. I should have known my brother well enough to know that that ring meant a lot to him. And if it was on the book, I should have noticed that it was there. I was careless, and I'm sorry.

In my defense, however, it could be said that my brother was somewhat careless, too. I don't want to point out the faults of others, but there's an important lesson here. If something is very important to you, you should try very hard to protect it. This experience reminded me of other invaluable things that can be lost in a moment of carelessness and are difficult to regain, like virtue and trust. I almost blogged exclusively on whether it's just for God to allow such valuable things to be lost so easily, but really, it's not His fault we lose things. The items and attributes that are important to us are ours to protect. If we fail to protect them to the best of our ability, the fault is ours if they are lost.

(Please bear in mind that I'm not just talking about my brother's ring here, but also about something that I occasionally lose that I should guard more carefully. This lesson, though it was learned at my brother's expense this morning, is one that I should have learned a long time ago from my own experiences. It was foolish of me not to have learned this lesson and shared it already. If I had, perhaps my brother could have learned wisdom from my foolishness instead of having me learn it from his.)

A third lesson we can learn from this experience is the importance and value of communication. Had my brother told me how much the ring had meant to him, I would have watched for it more carefully. Had my brother's friend told us that she was holding onto the ring, none of us would have worried so much about needing to find it (and none of these lessons would have been learned). And when my brother informed us that the ring had been found, we all rejoiced with him. Properly used, communication can prevent harm and heal broken hearts. It is a powerful tool for good and we should use it more often.

On that same note, I should have apologized for losing the ring while the ring was still lost, rather than bitterly thinking that it was partly my brother's fault. I had been careless, and I easily could have been responsible for the perhaps-permanent loss of something my brother treasured. I should have admitted my fault humbly and apologized for it as soon as I heard that the ring was lost, or at least as soon as I learned how much it meant to him. I felt that a small rift was forming between us as we searched, each thinking that the other was mostly responsible for the loss. That rift may have only existed in my head, but had I apologized when I should have, I could have healed it. Instead, I let my pride drive what I felt like was a wedge into our friendship, which is something I value, something I should have fought harder to protect.

For what it's worth, if you're reading this, I'm sorry I lost your ring, and I'm sorry for not apologizing sooner. I hope you can forgive my carelessness and pride. I pledge to have reduced both of those things by the time we meet again.

It's tragic that many of life's most valuable lessons can only be learned through unpleasant experiences such as these. Then again, I've heard that "all's well that ends well," so if the ring has been found and the lessons have been learned and the rift, if it ever existed, has been healed, then I suppose this has turned out to be a positive experience in the end. I think God intends for all of our experiences to be at least as positive as this one. We just need to look for the lessons, do what we can to overcome life's challenges, and wait for the fulfillment of the promise that if we strive to be righteous, it'll all work out in the end.

Prophet Lesson Outline

As I started to try to form a lesson plan, it became clear that the lesson would turn into a discussion on why we do and do not need prophets. Of course, we need prophets because they share God's word for us. Then again, we don't really need prophets because we could receive God's words through the scriptures and through personal revelation. Then again, we'd be foolish to shut ourselves off from any source of guidance from God, and since the messages He shares through His prophets apply to everyone, that means we need to listen, too. However, since the words of the prophets are generalized for everyone, we often need to look elsewhere to find counsel meant specifically for us.

Since it'd be pretty close to impossible to predict which points will come up at what times, it may make more sense for me to form two lists, one for why we need prophets and one for why we don't need prophets or why we need more than just prophets, and then, in my lesson, make sure at least most of those points get touched on at least once.

WHY WE NEED PROPHETS
Prophets Reveal God's Word - Teach/Explain Doctrine
Modern Counsel for Modern Times
Prophets' Counsel is Clear, in Contrast to Personal Revelation
Their Messages are for Everyone - Including Us

WHY WE NEED MORE THAN JUST PROPHETS
Prophets Messages are Too General
Personal Revelation is Always Available and More Specific
We Shouldn't Rely on Prophets Exclusively - We Have Other Sources
If We Have Questions, We Can Double-Check (Or should that go in the other section?)

I'll also want to mention how following the prophets can sometimes be difficult and/or unpopular, but it's always the right thing to do. And that we can always trust that the prophets will never lead us astray. I can work on this more later to make a more comprehensive list, but I think I've got most of the main points down and that it'll certainly be enough to foster a decent discussion and fill all the time I'll have. It's going to be a good lesson. I thank God for His guidance and instruction in helping me prepare it.

Trust = Deliverance

I totally just remembered that I haven't blogged yet today. Oops. Anyway, luckily for me, we just read a scripture in family scripture study that really struck a chord with me and kind of applies to some things I've been blogging about lately.

And now my son, Shiblon, I would that ye should remember, that as much as ye shall put your trust in God even so much ye shall be delivered out of your trials, and your troubles, and your afflictions, and ye shall be lifted up at the last day.
Alma 38: 5

In other words, if I'm reading this right, the extent to which you trust God is the extent to which you'll be delivered from your trials. Can that be right? Yes, and No, and then Yes again.

At first, of course! The Book of Mormon contains many stories in which people put their faith in God and were delivered from bondage. God always blesses those who put their faith in Him. So, as long as we trust God completely, we'll be free from all trials and troubles, right?

Wrong. It's often the case that righteous people suffer as much, if not more than unrighteous people. The people of Alma the Elder, who were oppressed by Amulon, trusted in God, but they were allowed to suffer for a time before their deliverance, to say nothing of Job! Meanwhile, the formula of Trust = Deliverance is proven false once again in the case of the Israelites. They had very little trust in God and in His prophet, Moses, but God delivered them from Pharaoh anyway.

However, trust can lead to deliverance in some cases. The people of Alma the Elder were delivered, according to the Lord's timing. Maybe we just need to be patient. But more than that, we need to be wise. There are some afflictions that are unavoidable, but a staggering number of the problems in our lives are caused by our own actions. God can guide us and help us avoid those kinds of problems, but only if we listen to Him and trust the counsel He gives us. Maybe that's (part of) what Alma the Younger meant when he told his son, Shiblon, that if he trusted in God, he would be delivered. Maybe God is already telling us what to do to escape our current problems and avoid future ones.

Also, we should give God credit for more than we see. I'm reminded of a blog post in which I related the escape of Prince Philip from the Forbidden Mountain in Disney's Sleeping Beauty. I spoke of how the three good fairies used their magic to eliminate several problems that would have hindered, if not killed Prince Philip, had those problems not been removed. But since those hazards were removed by the fairies with no effort needed on the prince's part, it would have been possible for Prince Philip not to have noticed those challenges and never have known that they were ever there.

So it may also be with us. We sometimes hear of times when people have followed promptings, not knowing the full reason for or result of their choice. It's possible that God uses such promptings to deliver us from afflictions that we don't see coming. Who knows how many trials we avoid by keeping God's commandments and heeding His spirit's promptings?

So, our lives will never be completely trial-free, even when we put our trust in God completely. However, I do believe that we save ourselves a lot of pain and anguish when we choose to follow the Lord's guidance, even when the reason for a particular piece of counsel isn't clear. God does deliver those who trust them, in His own way and in His own time, whether we realize it or not.

Prophets Tell the World God's Plan

You know what my problem has been? When I hear the title The Lord has a Plan for Us!, I immediately assume we're talking about His individual plans for each of us. Of course, the talk by that name gives some evidence for that - talking about a specific family and one man's Patriarchal Blessing, but God also has a plan for all of us collectively - a universal plan that He wants all of His children to follow, a plan of salvation. Naturally, His ultimate plan is part of each person's individual plan, but there may be some steps in God's individual path for me that may not be the right steps for everyone to follow. However, the universal plan is for everyone, so He tells everyone about it - through His prophets.

Sure, we technically, theoretically don't need prophets to tell us what God wants us to do. God can tell us Himself, if only we would listen. The promptings of the Spirit are often very faint, and require intentional listening, whereas the words of the prophets are plain to hear and understand, so even a casual listener can get the message. Additionally, the words of the prophets are written down so they can be remembered and quoted, while individual promptings are often not recorded and quickly forgotten.

Also, the words of the prophets can settle disputes of doctrine. Imagine, for example, that God inspired one of His followers to do some specific work or learn a certain trade, as part of their individual plan. That doesn't mean that God wants everyone to do that kind of work or learn that trade. On the other hand, God could inspire a person to avoid a particular sin, but another person, thinking that that counsel must have only applied to that person, may fall into the same vice. Yet God wants Everyone to avoid all sins, so He warns us against universal sins through the voice of His prophets.

So, God may use personal revelation to give us individualized guidance, but God uses prophets to get His messages out to all the world. And it's important to remember that what God tells us individually almost never supersedes what He tells us all collectively, so even though we may be good at receiving and following personal revelation, we still need to listen to the prophet's too.

I think that this lesson has already been good for me. Until now, I think I was straying into the territory of thinking that personal revelation made the existence of prophets superfluous, at least to members of the church. How wrong that is! Even though we have personal scripture study, Patriarchal Blessings, and the gift of the Holy Ghost, we still need to hear God's word directly from His living prophets. It's foolish to shut ourselves off from any source of communication from God, even if it seems redundant. The words of the prophets are meant for all the world, and that includes members of the church, even if they also get access to God's word by other means.

How to Learn God's Plan for You

Since I blogged about Sister McConkie's talk yesterday, it seems only fitting that I blog about Elder Godoy's talk today. As I reviewed his talk this morning, two passages stood out to me.

The first came as he was talking about how we can know God's plan for us.

And what about us? What does the Lord expect from each of us?

We do not need to see an angel to obtain understanding. We have the scriptures, the temple, living prophets, our patriarchal blessings, inspired leaders, and, above all, the right to receive personal revelation to guide our decisions.

In his list, Elder Godoy included prophets as being able to help us know God's plan for us, but he also listed the scriptures, our patriarchal blessings, and our right to receive personal revelation. Like my Mom commented on yesterday's post, we can get confirmation for any and all answers we get to our spiritual questions. We don't have to take the prophets' words for things. Yes, they are a source of God's words, but they're not the only source. If you have a question about anything a prophet or anyone else says, you can take the question to God.

The second passage that stood out to me was a powerful testimony he gave toward the middle of his talk:

We are children of Almighty God. He is our Father, He loves us, and He has a plan for us. We are not here in this life just to waste our time, grow old, and die. God wants us to grow and achieve our potential.

 Probably my favorite aspect of the gospel is the concept of eternal progression, partly because God is Eternal, and "eternal progression" means progressing to become like God. We have that potential, and that's incredible. But since we have such great potential, that makes it all the more important that we don't waste our potential. We are not perfect, but we should continually strive to progress toward perfection - toward Godhood. It's a lofty goal, but it's not impossible, and God has a plan to get us there.

I just caught myself wondering what God's specific plan is for me, but then it occurred to me that I just listed several ways I could find out, including by reading my patriarchal blessing (which I haven't done in several months), and praying, which I can do right now. I can commune with God to find out what He wants me to do during my life, this stage of my life, and even right now. And so can you. If you feel like you could use some guidance, turn to God, and then turn to the means that God has provided by which we can receive messages from Him. Read your patriarchal blessing, if you have one. Go to the temple if you can. Read the scriptures and the words of the prophets. And above all else, pray. If you seek to know God's plan for you, He will help you find it.

Putting my Trust in the Prophets

I just watched and read Sister Carol F. McConkie's talk, Live According to the Words of the Prophets, and as I listened and read, I found myself having the same doubts I had four or five months ago, when I expressed concern about offering God a "behavioral blank check." I ultimately concluded that I could trust God at least as much as I could trust myself, so putting my faith in Him couldn't be any more foolish than putting faith in myself. I elected to trust God, but at the time, I didn't resolve to also trust His prophets.

Recently, I overheard my brother watching a youtube video that compiled quotes from and about Professor Snape, from the Harry Potter series. If I recall correctly, in one of the clips, Professor Lupin said that whether or not Harry trusted Snape came down to whether he, Harry, truly trusted Professor Dumbeldor. Lupin said that since he, Lupin, trusted Dumbeldor, and Dumbeldor trusted Snape, he, Lupin, had chosen trust Snape.

I trust God. At least, I trust Him more than I trust myself. Those who are better at interpreting the mind of God than I am have said that God speaks through His prophets. He trusts them to be His mouthpiece on the Earth. Since He trusts them and I trust Him, I should trust them, too.

I already do trust them, to a certain extent. I trust they're wise people. I trust that their counsel, even if it's not the very word of God, is pretty sound advice. I trust that it's wiser to follow them than it is to follow most other leaders, so I have no trouble agreeing to abide by their counsel. The part where I tend to get stuck is in trying to think of their words as being the actual voice of the Lord - to accept what they say as being true as if God Himself had said it. Yes, I trust God and He trusts them, but still, that's asking for an awful lot of trust! They're still only human. They're liable to make mistakes. Can we really etch their words on stone tablets, under the heading "Thus Saith the Lord," when it's possible that they, being human, might have mispoken?

I suppose God would correct us if we started to go astray. And erring on the side of following the prophets is better than thinking that the prophets made a mistake and choosing to do something else instead. Because I want to follow God and God wants me to follow the prophets, I guess that's the right way to go. Besides, I'm as likely to make mistakes as they are, so it's still at least as wise to follow their guidance as it is to follow my own. As gambles go, this one's pretty safe, even though the stakes are high.

So, according to my own logic, it makes sense to follow the prophets. And according to God's commandments, it's spiritually important to do so. I guess it's time for me to stop second-guessing them and sign the behavioral blank check.

A Quick Look at Two Talks

For my lesson next Sunday, I will be teaching from Sister Carol F. McConkie's talk, Live According to the Words of the Prophets, and Elder Carlos A. Godoy's talk, The Lord Has a Plan for Us!. Just judging by the titles, it would seem that the combined message would be that we can discover the Lord's plan for us by following the prophets. Having skimmed through both talks and watching the highlight videos, I found the following quotes:

The best paths in life are rarely the easiest. Often, it is exactly the opposite.
- Carlos A. Godoy  

We heed prophetic word even when it may seem unreasonable, inconvenient, and uncomfortable. According to the world’s standards, following the prophet may be unpopular, politically incorrect, or socially unacceptable. But following the prophet is always right.
- Carol F. McConkie

Putting those quotes together, it seems clear that following the prophets isn't always going to be easy, but the best paths in life rarely are. It'll sometimes be unpopular or uncomfortable or unpleasant to follow the prophet for any number of reasons, but it's the right thing to do. It takes faith to follow the prophets, especially when their counsel disagrees with what the world says people ought to do. But the prophets are called of God to speak for Him, and He wants us to live according to their words. We'll be far more blessed in this life and the next if we do.

I plan on looking more into each talk later on, reading each talk fully and blogging about each talk individually. In the meantime, I'm going to enjoy my Monday by going on a hike.

An Act of Sacrifice and Love

You know what would have been a really good thing to blog about yesterday? Adam's decision to partake of the forbidden fruit was an act motivated, at least partly, by love.

I'm not sure how much of this is in the scriptures, but the way I've always heard the story is that Eve partook of the fruit first, then told Adam what she had done. He was shocked and crushed that she had broken one of Heavenly Father's commandments and now was asking him to do the same. But she reminded him that they were commanded to stay together and be fruitful, and that, for her transgression, she would be cast out of the Garden of Eden. It seemed to them that they would be separated, perhaps forever, unless Adam partook of the fruit as well and suffered the same fate that Eve would.

Adam's action, though possibly misguided, was an expression of great love. He didn't want Eve to have to be alone, and he was willing to suffer with her in order to be with her, to comfort her and help her. Can you imagine what might have happened if Eve had partaken of the fruit and Adam hadn't? Eve would have been kicked out of the Garden, but Adam might have remained there. Eve would have suffered and died alone, while Adam might have lived forever in the Garden, in paradise, but alone. Neither one of them would have been happy. I think Adam would have quickly learned that it's better to suffer together with someone you love than to live in comfort without them, especially if you know that they're suffering. Adam made a noble choice, perhaps even the right choice, and we, especially we men, should follow his example of being willing make sacrifices for the ones we love.

Thinking of it that way, the story of Adam and Eve can be a great love story. Of course, there have been better examples of love and sacrifice over the course of human history, like the Atonement, for example, but I'm glad that Adam set that precedent for how men ought to act. Men who follow his example of doing what needs to be done for the benefit of their wife and family are truly good men - not always the wisest, but definitely good. Perhaps there was another way for Adam and Eve to be able to stay together, but Adam couldn't see it, and neither do I. Faced with no other way for him to stay with Eve to protect her and provide for her, I think that Adam did the right thing. Perhaps he should have double-checked with the man upstairs first, but it was still a very noble and honorable act of love and sacrifice, and if I were put in his shoes, I hope that I would have had the courage and the love to make the same decision that he made, even if it was the wrong one.

The Pros and Cons of Pre- and Post-Fall Earth

Moving forward with my lesson planning as though there's nothing else going on in the world today that's worth blogging about, one thing that's always bugged me about lessons on the Fall of Adam and Eve is that, in contrasting the conditions of the pre-fall and post-fall versions of the world, we usually only talk about the pros of one and the cons of the other. I think it may be important to address both the pros and the cons of each.

The pre-fall world was perfect in that nothing was trying to kill anything else. Everything was immortal. There were lots of flowers and fruit, and no thorns or noxious weeds. It would have been a lovely place to live, except that nothing ever changed there. There was no progress being made by anything, which was troublesome because the concept of eternal progression is the whole reason the Earth was made.

After the fall, mankind began to make some progress. We started making mistakes and learning from them. We started gaining experience and learning to become more like God. But there was a downside to all this. Our learning comes at a price. We have to have experiences, most of which are unpleasant, if not downright painful. Yes, good comes from it, but pain comes first.

Interestingly, heaven will not have any of the problems Earth currently has. There won't be any death or disease or any physical pain or suffering. It'll be a veritable paradise. Yet, it will also not have the drawback of the Garden of Eden. The progress we started on Earth will continue in Heaven. I wonder how that'll work. Maybe I'll ask the class and see if they have any ideas.

I'm looking forward to teaching this lesson. I think it'll be a good (and not painful) experience. It's been nice focussing my blog posts on a specific topic for a change. Thankfully, I'm giving a lesson next week, too, so this trend will continue. Plus, I really should get back to blogging about General Conference before the next one happens. It's funny that I usually feel like I have nothing to blog about, but actually, the list of things I have to blog about is pretty long.

Learning From Our First Parents

Since I'm giving a lesson in Gospel Essentials class this Sunday, I thought I'd spend the next few blog posts preparing for it. The lesson is on chapter six of the Gospel Principles manual: The Fall of Adam and Eve. Of course, I'll have to cover the basic truths of the event - God created Adam and Eve, gave them a few rules, Satan tempted Eve and Adam to partake of the forbidden fruit, and Adam and Eve were kicked out. They went from immortality and innocence to mortality and experience. I'll talk about physical and spiritual life and death. But after the basic reporting of facts and highlighting the contrast between life in Eden and life here and now, I'll want to mix in some practical application. Knowing what happened and how life is different now (or was different then) is important, but we also need to learn ways to use that information to make ourselves better people.

I suppose one angle from which we could approach the search for practical application is to look at what Adam and Eve did wrong, and what they should have done instead - and what we should do when we're faced with temptation. Of course, I'll be careful not to be too critical of them. We're all human, and they were better people than most. But still, it could be said that they slipped up, and they certainly fell prey to temptation. What did they do that we shouldn't do, or rather, what should we do that they didn't?

First off, I don't think Satan would have had as much luck trying to tempt Adam and Eve if they were with each other at the time. Having people nearby who uphold the same standards as you do, or who at least know your standards and remind you to uphold them, can help you resist temptation better than you might when you're alone.

Second, they each acted without consulting those they should have turned to for advice. I'm not saying that wives always need to seek counsel from their husbands. I'm saying that married individuals should seek counsel from those to whom they're married, especially before making important life decisions. Then, together, they should each seek advice from God. I don't know how the story would have gone differently if they had sought guidance before eating the fruit, but at least their decision would probably have been more informed and more in line with God's plan.

After having partaken of the fruit, Adam and Eve felt shame and hid themselves from God. How often do we do that? When we sin, we feel bad about that. Whether that's shame or Godly sorrow depends on your attitude at the time, and on what those feelings prompt you to do. If your feelings after sin cause you to want to withdraw yourself from God and Jesus, that's called shame, and it's a feeling implanted by Satan intended to distance you from God. If your feelings make you want to draw closer to God, repent, and do better next time, that's what's called "godly sorry," and it's a feeling inspired by God to help you repent and come back to Him. Even after breaking one of His commandments, we should try to draw closer to God, not turn away from Him.

That's the last major mistake I can remember Adam and Eve making. After they return to God and repent of their transgression, they're basically really good people, as far as I can remember. Thankfully, those three lessons are probably enough for us to try to apply for now. Stay with people who help you be strong, seek counsel for important decisions, and never be too ashamed to turn to the Lord for forgiveness and help. That'll be good for the lesson. I think I'll include them.

(Not) Learning From Mistakes

How long do you think it takes to learn a lesson? How many times does a person have to make the same mistake before they learn to stop making it? I told myself late last night that I should blog early the next morning - this morning - to show that I had learned not to procrastinate blogging. Obviously, I hadn't.

I'm also struggling to learn the lesson of printing up copies of my essays for Pathway peer reviews before it's almost time to go. I'm sure there are dozens of other lessons that I still struggle with, that I could have learned by now if only I had learned from my mistake the first time I had made it. I guess that's why I'm still alive - I have a few more mistakes to make before my lessons sink in.

Making mistakes is a normal part of life. We're supposed to learn from them, but sometimes that takes time. Thankfully, no mistake we make in this life needs to have any permanent effect on the next. Even serious mistakes and sins can be repented of. That was part of God's original, perfect plan. You could almost say that we're supposed to make mistakes and learn from them. I think I'm good at following the "making mistakes" part of the plan, but I could clearly improve on the "learn from them" part.

Optimally, a person only has to make a mistake once to learn from it. Actually, a person theoretically doesn't need to make any mistakes at all, as long as they can learn from the mistakes of others. But even then, I'm sure they'll make some mistakes of their own, too. We all do. It's part of life. Ironically, the only way to get out of making mistakes is also the reason we make them in the first place - to learn from them.

Three Good Things

I don't know how I keep convincing myself that it's okay not to blog in the morning before I leave for class because I can just blog "later." Well, it's later. About 15 hours later than I should have blogged and about an hour and a half later than I should have gone to bed. I suppose I could pull a message about procrastinating out of that, but instead, I want to talk about something else.

I occasionally blog about things I've done wrong, mistakes I've made, lessons I've learned the hard way. Usually, this breeds a little bit of sympathy from my readers, but I'm not really asking for that. I'm asking for them to learn from my mistakes and to be more wise than I had been. I'm not looking for comfort, but I'm also not looking to be made to feel ashamed. When I publicly acknowledge my faults, it's not because I feel the need for criticism. I am already working on all the faults about which I blog, and then some. I do not often need to be reminded of the faults that I admit on my blog.

I do, however, like most people, need to be reminded of my virtues from time to time. So if you'll forgive a moment of self-indulgence (which is another fault of mine, I suppose), this evening, I'd like to remind myself of three good things I did today. These are not the only good things I did today - just the first three that came to mind.

I fixed a paper towel jam in a public restroom.

After using the restroom on the first floor of the Sacramento City College library and washing my hands, I found that there was a problem with the paper towel dispenser. Specifically, the paper towel got caught on the teeth that are used to tear the paper towel into the sections that people use. Whipping out my multi-tool (by the way, thanks to Sariah for giving it to me for Christmas a few years ago. There's no telling how much good has been done with it), I cut and pulled at the jammed paper until I had cleared it out and gotten the paper towel dispenser working again.

I gave pointed some smokers in the right direction.

Recently, Sacramento City College has adopted a policy in which students are asked to only smoke in designated smoking areas. To their credit, the majority of smoking students I've seen have complied with this policy, even though I'm sure it's inconvenient for them. An additional inconvenience came when a designated smoking area was moved from one spot to another. Passing through the old spot, I heard one student express some confusion as to the new location of the smoking area, and I pointed him to the place where the smoking area is now. His act of kindness at going to the new location was greater than my act of telling him where it was, but I'm glad that my willingness to aid and inform others provoked an immediate, almost automatic, helpful response from me.

I cleaned the whiteboard.

Later that afternoon, (or this afternoon?) I was working as an in-class writing tutor in a low-level English Writing class. After helping half a dozen students form good thesis statements for their essays (which was really just part of the job), the class period ended, and I wanted to leave to get home before I ran out of daylight. But I also wanted to talk to the teacher about a resource I had found, so I stuck around and waited while she addressed some questions and concerns the students had. While I was waiting, I thought I'd make myself useful by cleaning the whiteboard, and since I'm intentionally patting myself on the back tonight, I don't mind admitting that it was a large whiteboard, many of the markings on it were fairly well set and took a lot of rubbing to get out, and my arm was sore by the time I was done, but I got the whiteboard clean. It wasn't part of the job description; I didn't have to do it. I didn't have to do any of the kind things I did today. But I did them because I am a kind person.

I'm not saying this so you'll be proud of me. I probably shouldn't care much what you think of me, and I certainly don't blog wonderful things about myself so you'll be impressed with me. But I need to be proud of myself. I need to recognize that I am a good person, despite all the flaws I have and blog about. Sure, I procrastinated today. I didn't use my free time very wisely, but it should be remembered, by myself at least, that I spend at least some of my time today doing good. I'm not a terrible person, despite any and all evidence to the contrary, and the only person who wants me to believe that I'm a terrible person is also the one who wants me to end up in hell. Beside him, there is good in everybody, including me. And even as we go along, identifying and correcting faults, inching our way toward ultimate perfection, we should remember that we're not all that bad and that we certainly shouldn't let our faults discourage us. Instead, we should look for the good in ourselves and each other and give ourselves the encouragement we need to keep going. I'm sure I'll blog again about some mistake I'll make or some fault I haven't corrected yet, but in my heart, I'll remember what's so good about me, and I'll take some encouragement from that, even while I'm working to overcome my faults.

Let The Consequence Follow

Tonight, I am cheating. I just finished writing an essay for Pathway, and since the subject matter of the essay is vaguely blogworthy, I'll just post the essay here and call it a night. (BTW, if you spot any errors in it, please let me know about them before I submit it for grade on Saturday, February 21.)

Let The Consequence Follow 

Albert Einstein once said that “There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.” If nothing is a miracle, then either God does not have a hand in our lives, or it’s not miraculous that He does. If everything is a miracle, then God is pulling all the strings, leaving nothing to chance, or to human choice. Albert Einstein was wrong. God does have a hand in our lives, but not always. He gives us advice and promptings, but then He lets us choose what paths we’ll follow, and He allows us to experience the natural results of our choices, providing miracles for us only when necessary.

Some might argue that God has a direct hand in everything, and that everything we experience is either a blessing or punishment from God. I don’t think that’s the case. I believe that God has set up a natural world with plenty of options and consequences, and now lets us act as we choose, knowing that the natural results of our choices will often be blessing or punishment enough. Because He loves us and desires our happiness, he tells us which paths to take or avoid, but His commandments are not arbitrary rules which He blesses us for keeping or curses us for breaking. Rather, they are like signs that tell us about the world we live in.

Chapter four of the Gospel Principles manual gives the example of a sign that reads “Danger - Whirlpool. No swimming allowed here.” Of course, you’re free to disregard the sign and go swimming anyway, but if you do, you may get caught in the whirlpool the sign had warned you about. That’s a natural consequence of a reckless action, not the act of a vengeful deity, throwing you into a whirlpool for having had the audacity to disregard his sign. Similarly, there may be a sign that reads “Vista Point two miles ahead.” If you follow that trail, you’ll see a breath-takingly beautiful view. The view didn’t magically appear to you as a reward for having followed the sign. The vista point had always been there; all the sign did was tell you about it.

Similarly, the commandments lead people toward joy and away from misery, not because God gives joy to those who worship Him and misery to those who don’t, but because misery and joy lie at the ends of many roads, and God’s commandments tell us which roads lead where.

However, this is not to say that God never effects our lives at all. Most of the time, God allows nature to take its course, but every once in a while, He steps in and makes a few changes. The scriptures are full of examples of such cases, but these cases are more the exception than the rule. For every miraculous event, there are billions of events that aren’t miraculous. I do believe that miracles happen. I just don’t think they happen every day.

I’m sure God could, and sometimes does, stretch out His hand and use a bit of His power, but I think that most of the time, He simply doesn’t need to. The natural consequences of our moral choices do a lot of that work for Him. All He has to do is let us make our own choices and let the consequences follow.

Light From Death

After I had mentioned that I hadn't blogged yet today, my Mom pointed out a fire we had going in the fireplace and asked if there was anything I could blog about about that. I answered that there were plenty of analogies and moral lessons about fire, most of which have already been covered. But this one might not have been - at least, not by me. The light of a fire comes from destruction and death.

Light is a good thing. Warmth is usually good, too. Fire provides both of those things, but only by the destruction of wood (or other substances), and wood can only be obtained from plants that have died, or at least lost a limb. Can the light and warmth of fire still be thought of as good things, even when they come at such a cost?

I suppose so. Death is a fact of life. Living things grow, grow old, and then die. This is even true of trees, which can live for centuries, but which still eventually die. When trees die, they leave their bodies behind. If that wood is long enough and strong enough, we might use it to build things - giving a new purpose to what's left of the tree. I turned a fallen branch into a serviceable walking stick a few months ago. But if the branches are too short and thin and twisted to be turned into a useful object, at least hey can still be burned.

Light and warmth are good things. When I look at a fire, I can think about the price that was paid for that light and warmth, and perhaps I should, out of respect for the sacrifice, but I should also look at and appreciate the good. There is beauty in fire, even though a thing of beauty had to die in order to create it. Perhaps, instead of seeing fire as a symbol of the death of something good, I should see it as a symbol of its life. A branch couldn't burn unless it had grown first. There is energy and vitality in it, even after it dies. A fire is one use of that energy, and it can serve as a reminder that even when bad things happen, there is a chance for good to come of it. Yes, a tree has died, but there is still some life in it, and when we burn the wood, the light and warmth of the fire are born from that life. There was death and there is destruction, but even in being destroyed, the wood of the plant has one last blessing to share.

I hope that I continue to live for several more decades, but whether I do or not, I want some good to come out of my life. I want to do good while I live and breathe. And when I die, I want some good to come out of that, too. I'm not saying that I want to be cremated, because I don't. I'm not even sure if I want a tree to be planted over my grave. That would be kind of cool, but also kind of creepy. But what I am saying is that I want some good to come out of my death, when it happens. Maybe I'll write a short testimony for you to etch on my headstone, or maybe I'll write down a part of my life story that may inspire someone, but that I'd rather not share with everyone while I'm alive, and leave it for someone to find and share after I die. I don't have any specific plans. I just know that, because of God's grace, with the right attitude, a little bit of good can come out of almost anything, even death.

Why Five Stones?

Thinking about David and Goliath and about the effectiveness of a sling as a weapon, I remembered a time when I was taught this story as a young boy. The teacher told us that David gathered five stones for his encounter with Goliath, and she (I think I remember the teacher being a woman) asked us why we thought David gathered that amount. As I recall, I answered that it was because he knew he wouldn't need that many. I believe "that" was the word I used. The word I should have used instead was "very." I didn't know how many stones it would take to take down a giant, but I assumed that it would take more than five, and I certainly thought it would take more than one. Even if I only needed one lucky hit, I think I would have carried more than five stones with me, just to make sure I wouldn't run out of stones before I landed that hit. I thought that David was showing great faith in the Lord by only bringing five stones to the battle.

The teacher probably didn't understand that that was what I meant. Literally, my answer meant that David gathered five stones because he knew he wouldn't need as many as five stones. As it turned out, he had only needed one. The teacher explained that one possible reason David gathered five stones is because he knew he might need that many. David knew that he was going against Goliath in the strength of the Lord and that God would help him win the fight, but he didn't expect God to hand him a victory on a silver platter. He carried five stones because he knew that, even with the blessings of the Lord, he might still miss a few times.

As we face our challenges and try to do what's right, we know that God will be with us, but that doesn't mean He's going to make it easy for us. Because struggling and failing build character and make us stronger, God sometimes lets us struggle and fail, even when we're trying do His will. Of course, when it really matters and we do our best, God won't let us fail. He'll take what we can do and either make it good enough or make up the difference. But even when victory is assured, that doesn't mean we can lie down and stop fighting. We still need to sling a stone, and we may even need more than one.

David went into the battle knowing that he was going to win it, but also knowing that it might not be easy. He carried five stones, few enough to show his faith in God, but also enough to account for the fact that he might still miss once or twice, or even three or four times. We can follow his example by trusting that God will never make it impossible for us to do His will, but also by remembering that He probably won't make it too easy, either.

Do I Still Love Writing?

There's a scene in Avatar: the Last Airbender (the TV show, not the movie) in which one character tells another that he's at the crossroads of his destiny and that it's time to start asking himself big questions like "who are you?" and "what do you want?" This morning, I'm finding myself asking myself the same questions, and though the fate of the world doesn't depend on my decision, it'll certainly have an impact on how the rest of my life goes, which is high enough stakes for me.

Ultimately, I want to inherit the Celestial Kingdom, but that's not really what I'm talking about right now. I'm referring to a more short-term goal: what do I want to do for a living? Thanks to my light-hearted nature, I'm sure that I could have find or find a sense of importance and accomplishment in almost anything I might end up doing, but that still doesn't answer the question. What do I enjoy doing that I can do well enough that people might pay me to do it? What talents, hobbies, and interests do I have that could be turned into bill-paying skills?

The first thing that comes to mind when I think of something that I do fairly well and frequently that I also enjoy doing is writing. I love fantasy. I love the characters, the worlds, and the magic of fantasy. I love how fantasy can help me escape from the daily stress of the world, and how Paladins help me cope with daily life when I have to face it. Thanks to Paladins, I see setbacks as challenges and challenges as adventures, so I can tackle life's problems and road bumps with enthusiasm. Even the daily grind becomes more endurable when I see myself as a Paladin. When I see myself as a Paladin, doing routine, painful, boring, and difficult tasks become part of my "duty," and I become a better Paladin for doing those tasks faithfully. And then there are the hosts of spiritual benefits of being a Paladin, which I've blogged about so many times that I hardly even need to mention them now.

So, to recap that last paragraph so I can organize my thoughts, I like writing because I love fantasy, and I love fantasy because it lets me escape reality and it helps me become a better person in real life. That's an interesting combination. Not many things improve something else while drawing attention away from it.

But what about writing, itself? I love fantasy, but do I love writing? I like it, and I'd like to think I'm good at it, but do I love it? Do I love the actual act of writing? Not really. Okay, why not? (Pardon the self-exploration. I'm sure I'll stumble upon something blogworthy by the end of it.) What don't I like about writing?

It's too slow. I can form thoughts faster than I can record them. The words on the page never turn out as well as the images in my head. And when what I write isn't as good as what I'm thinking, I worry a little that I'm going to lose the vision of my characters. I don't handle criticism and failure as well as a writer needs to be able to. Part of me feels like I'll never be a successful writer because my odds are so terribly slim, and I doubt hat I have the staying power to keep writing, even if it's not going well.

But isn't that more practical, to quit, rather than to take your chances against steep odds? If I'm going to invest into anything the amount of time that good writing takes, I want to be reasonably sure that I'll have something good to show for it. If all I get after the end of weeks or months of writing is a lame fantasy/adventure short story, was it really worth the time I had put into it?

On the other hand, there are many hobbies that leave their participants empty-handed, but still aren't judged as useless. People spend time and money playing and watching sports, but not everyone gets a trophy at the end of it. Were all the other participants wasting their time? No, because they got practice and exercise, made friends, had experiences, and most importantly (for a hobby, at least), had fun. If I pursue writing as a hobby rather than as a career (and let's face it, very few people are good enough and lucky enough to pursue writing as a career), then my whole approach to writing can become significantly better. If I place less focus on the value of the product, and more focus on its effect on me as a person, there's a lot more I can gain from writing than a few crappy manuscripts. I can get practice, explore my psyche, get creative, and have fun. And maybe when writing becomes fun again, I can convince myself to do it enough to gain enough practice at it to become good enough at it to consider doing it as a career. Until then, I can try to consider writing to be part of my daily grind of things that I have to do because it's my duty as a Paladin.

Also, I need to ignore my critics. At least for now. I've studied writing (mostly academic writing, but the basic principles apply to all writing). There are certain stages to the writing process, and the first two steps are getting some ideas down and getting them organized BEFORE you start writing your essay/novel/short story. That's the step I'm perpetually on - forming and fleshing out ideas. Now, I suppose I just need to get them organized and start drafting (that's the third step, actually beginning to write). And while I'm doing that, I shouldn't worry so much about whether what I write is good or not. One thing I've heard and learned repeatedly, from my very first writing class to the classes I'm in this semester, is that revision is the key. Your first draft is going to be a lousy. Write it anyway. Then get some feedback and improve it. That's revision, taking a lousy, or even a good or excellent piece of writing, and making it better. But first, I need to have the courage to write the first draft.

I just talked myself into writing, didn't I? Dang it. I don't have time for this! Fine, I'll do my homework (which is due by midnight tonight), and then I'll write something. I'll have at least a few pages actually drafted out by tonight. Just don't expect it to be any good.

EDIT: Oh, yeah. I was supposed to find something blogworthy by the end of my talking to myself. How about this: Sometimes, God gives us commandments that we don't want to obey because they seem difficult or unpleasant, and we can't really see what's in it for us, but God wouldn't give us a commandment without a good reason, and any kind of experience can help us draw closer to God, and that brings blessings of its own. I may not feel like writing, but if I do it anyway, that experience can help me develop my God-given talent and creativity, and I know that blessings will flow from that. Even if the action itself yields no benefits (which it will, but even if it doesn't), if we do what God wants us to do, He'll bless us for our diligence. So stick with it. It may seem pointless and hopeless sometimes, but stick with it anyway. I'm sure that at least some good will come of it.

If Anything, Even More So

I like this quote, but I feel like it may be a bit understated. A battle for a human soul has higher stakes than a battle to the death. If you lose one of those battles, you die, but you were just going to die anyway, and if you're righteous, dying takes you to heaven, which isn't so bad when you think about it that way. If you lose the other battle, you lose out on spiritual blessings, both now and in the eternities. In either case, you die sooner or later, but in one of those cases, you die and go to hell.

Also, Satan is way more formidable than Goliath was (of course, I still might not say that to Goliath's face). Goliath is physically intimidating, while Satan is physically nothing, but Satan is immortal and eternally persistent, whereas Goliath was mortal and now, in fact, is dead. Were he still alive, Goliath could only kill us. Since Satan is still as alive as he has ever been and will ever be, he can corrupt and destroy our souls. In either case, you can fight, but it's arguable whether it'd be easier to beat Goliath at a contest of arms or Satan at a battle of will.

Fortunately, in either fight, we wouldn't have to fight alone. God is as present a helper to us as He has ever been for anyone. As long as we are trying to be righteous, He will give us all the strength we need to win the important battles of our lives, whether those fights are against giants or demons. I'm grateful for my Savior. I'm thankful for second chances and the strength that comes from striving for righteousness. Most especially, I'm thankful that our battles are never ours to face alone. God helped David overcome his enemy, and He can help me overcome my enemy, too.

Little Problems, Big Problems

Part of my reason for blogging about that poem yesterday was that someone shared something similar to that on Facebook, just not in poem form. I knew there was a poetic version of the message, so I looked it up and decided to share it here. Another part of the reason I shared the poem is that its message is similar to one I heard in a story from the BYU devotional of this Tuesday. As I remember it (the text for the devotional isn't available yet), a man was trekking across the country (I'm suddenly no longer sure which one) on foot. He had scaled mountains and crossed deserts, presumably encountered wild animals, and probably had a near-death experience or two. When asked what the most difficult part of his journey so far had been, he thought for a moment, then answered that it was probably that, while crossing the desert, the sand kept getting in his shoes.

When compared to mountain climbing, getting sand in your shoes doesn't seem like a terrible problem. It's not life-threatening. It may be annoying, but it couldn't stop you from completing your journey. Or could it? The longer sand stays in your shoes, the more of an irritant it becomes. What was, at first, just mildly annoying, can become seriously painful and can cause actual damage to your feet. And when you're on a trek of a thousand miles, you don't want your feet to take any damage.

Over the course of our spiritual journeys, we will face many serious challenges, and even more smaller ones. I'm not worried about the big challenges. When it comes to scaling mountains, we've got a pretty good history of putting our shoulders to the wheel and overcoming. But how good are we at handling life's little problems? When someone says something rude to us, how quickly do we forgive them? When we're tempted to say something rude back, how long do we let that temptation stay in our minds? One of the reasons the sand-in-your-shoes problem seems so slight is because it's easy to fix. You just stop every once in a while and dump the sand out of your shoes. It's not too terribly hard to forgive a rude person and move on without being rude in return, but how quickly and how frequently do we do that?

Because small sins and vices seem inconsequential, it's easy to ignore them, and when we do, they fester in us and start to cause big problems for us. We shouldn't ignore hurt feelings or un-Christlike thoughts, we should resolve them. The sooner we do that, the less damage they'll do to us. When hiking across a desert or sailing across an ocean, you're going to get some water in your boat or some sand in your shoes. It's inevitable. When that happens, it's important that we dump it out before those "little problems" stop us from reaching our goal.

Keep It Out

Given that my blog posts tend to run a bit long, I've decided to challenge myself and make this blog post my shortest ever. Already, I've sabotaged myself by making this blog post two sentences longer than it needed to be.

All the water in the world,

However hard it tried,

Could never sink the smallest ship

Unless it [gets] inside.

And all the evil in the world,

The blackest kind of sin,

Can never hurt you the least bit

Unless you let it in.

Author Unknown

Keep it out. Don't even think about it. I know it's everywhere and I know it's pervasive, but try to keep it out. And if it gets in, bail it out as soon as possible. Just as water weighs down a ship, sin weighs down our souls. It can sink us, and it will certainly slow us down. Don't let it in.

If The Bishop Sat Behind Me

At Stake Conference, my family typically sits on the stage at the back of the overflow, where we can get a distant but clear view of the speakers, and we're not the only ones. This year, the Bishop of our Ward sat behind us on the stage, and a friend of mine from another Ward sat next to me. My friend and I talked about a game we both played, one that fairly recently involved the slaying of ogres that were either much stronger or much weaker than what you'd typically expect from ogres, depending on what type of ogres you're thinking of, and either much stronger or a bit weaker than they should have been. Since I was primarily in charge of arbitrating the strength of the ogres, we discussed what adjustments should be made during this and future encounters with ogres from this group.

As I look back on it, it was not the kind of conversation one should have just before Stake Conference, and it certainly shouldn't have continued while the opening song was being sung. I'm almost surprised that my Mom didn't nudge me and that the Bishop didn't tap me on the shoulder, and I'm embarrassed to admit that I would have deserved it if they had.

There's a primary song that I'm fond of which includes the words "If the Savior stood beside me, would I say the things I say?" The song goes on to ask what other actions we might or might not take if Jesus were nearby. Until recently, I thought that that would make a good measuring stick for personal conduct, to ask myself "Would I be doing this if I knew Jesus was watching me do it?" And the kicker, as sung in the final verse, is that He is.

He is always near me, though I do not see Him there,
And because He loves me dearly, I am in His watchful care,
So I'll be the kind of person that I know I'd like to be
If I could see the Savior standing nigh, watching over me.

But I wasn't. I went on talking about ogres, how many levels of barbarian they should have had, and what their Challenge Rating might have been if they had been that weak or that strong, even as the meeting was beginning, even with the Bishop sitting almost directly behind where I was sitting. It was distasteful, and owe everyone that was within earshot of me an apology.

It also taught me that I'm not as good as I think I am. I sometimes think of myself as a paladin, upholding high moral standards to maintain my honor (mostly because I hope that mental image will help inspire me to live up to it), but I'm not quite there yet. Even at church, even with my religious leader sitting close enough that he could lean over and literally breathe down my neck, had he wanted to, I failed a basic, easy test of propriety and morally motivated priorities. In that moment, I did not behave like a paladin, nor did I act like Jesus might be watching me, even though I knew my Bishop was.

But that's the purpose of role-models, isn't it? To help us be better than we normally are? We all have flaws and shortcomings. One of mine is that I'm a bit too fond of games. Being a paladin and having the Bishop behind me should have encouraged me to be more Christlike, and perhaps they are doing that - just a few days too late.

Thankfully, that was not my final test, and even if it were, I think God cares more about our hearts than our actions. My heart was not in the right place that morning, but I hope that it's closer to the right place now. I have repented and I'll try to control myself better next time. That's all any of us can really hope to do. We all need to strive to become better than we are, and maybe, hopefully, having good people around us might help.

Winning

Disclaimer: This is not a comment on who won the Super Bowl or how they won it. Nor am I making any assumptions regarding who may of may not have let air out of one or more footballs before or after any game for any reason. This is a comment on the definition of winning.

Typically, winning is measured in numbers of points scored. If you have more points than the other guys at the end of a game, you won. If you have less, you lost. But is that really true? Is that what we tell our children before and after little league games, "If you don't score more points than the other team, you are a loser"? Is that what we say when we lose to a cheater, "I saw that guy pull a few Aces out of his sleeve, but his Full House beats my Straight, so technically he still won"? "Winning," as defined as ending the game with more points than your opponent, is a flawed definition. There are ways to lose and still end up with more points, and there are ways to win and still end up with less points. To borrow a phrase that many a father has told to their children, "it's not whether you win or lose; it's how you play the game."

Winning, in my opinion, has less to do with technically winning, and more to do with playing well and maintaining high standards of sportsmanlike conduct. Think about how well you normally play, in practices and in previous games. If you play that well or better in any given game, then I'd say you did pretty well in that game and you can count it as a personal victory, whether the final score reflects that victory or not. Also, ask yourself whether you exhibited good sportsmanship. If you lost your cool, fouled a guy, yelled at the ref, or cheated, then you lost at least that part of the game, no matter what the final score says.

This is brings me back to that quote from Elder Richard G. Scott. Most elements of sportsmanlike conduct can fit comfortably under the header of Christlike attributes, and God encourages each of us to do our best and reach our full potential. If we played the way that God wanted us to play, we won, no matter how the rest of the game played out. If we fell short of that goal, in any way, for any reason, then we clearly have some room for improvement, even if the score says you had a perfect game. By this new definition of winning, there's only one person who ever played a "perfect game," and He never scored a touchdown in His entire career. Still, by the standard of personal conduct and by the final score of number of souls saved, I'd say that Jesus won, and is still winning, and as long as we're on His side and following His example, so are we.

I didn't watch the Super Bowl. I don't know who won or lost. I know that the Patriots scored more points than the Seahawks, but I don't know who played a better game, either in conduct or in skill. And bear in mind that there can be winners and losers on the same team. Whoever deflated the football(s?) was a loser, but the rest of the team, who probably didn't know anything about the deflation, still may have won. Whenever you play a game, or do anything else in life, make sure that you do it according to your moral standards and that you do it as well as you can. That way, you will always be a winner, even when you lose.

Advance Warning

Forty-Five minutes ago, I was woken up (I was kind of already awake, but I was pinned under a cat that I was petting) and I was told that we would be leaving for church about and hour after I was woken up. Pretty soon, actually.

I wonder how much, or rather how little, advance warning we'll get when the Savior comes again. Will we have time to take a shower before we stand before Jesus, or at leas change our clothes? Will we have time to wash our hands before we meet Jesus, or will He see, when He comes, how dirty they are, as if He doesn't already know. Will we even have time to stop doing whatever we're doing, or will our last act before the Millennium be chosen almost at random; being whatever we were doing at a randomly-selected time on a randomly-selected day.

For some of us, I doubt that there will be any advance warning at all. Some of us might have a few minutes to wash our hands and change our clothes, but none of us will have as much advance warning as we would like to have.

Then again, we've already been given our advance warning. We know He's coming. We know He's coming soon. We know that nobody knows exactly when He'll get here, or where He'll appear first when He does. We have been warned in advance that we need to get ready now, because we may not get any advance warning when the time comes. If you're not ready to meet the Savior right now, you might want to spend the next few minutes trying to get ready, because it's entirely possible that the Second Coming is only a few minutes away.

I hope that I'll be ready when the Savior comes. I think I'm mostly ready at this moment, considering that my efforts at repentance have been sincere, but still, I think I could use a little bit more time to purify my heart a little bit more before I stand before the person who died for my many sins. It's scary to think how close the Second Coming might be. Since it's possible that I might not get any advance warning when the time comes, I'm going to try to get ready now, and keep myself ready, in case He comes when I least expect Him.