A Few Hard-Learned Lessons From an Exceptionally Blogworthy Experience

Something immensely blogworthy happened this morning, and I've picked up several lessons from it. I know it has nothing to do with the lesson I'm giving this afternoon, but it'd be ungrateful and foolish of me to not record the insights God has given me about the experience. To understand these insights, you first need to know what the experience was.

Last night, while we had guests over for card games and a movie, my brother took off his CTR ring and left it on a book he left on the game table when he left for work. Some time during one of the games, I moved the book off of the table, not noticing whether or not the ring was on it, and the ring became lost. This morning, my brother explained that the ring had immense sentimental value to him, and we took the room apart searching for it. I felt terrible for having moved the book and lost the ring, but I also felt that my brother should have been more careful with something so precious to him. I would have been more careful with the ring, had I known how much it meant to him and had I noticed it was there. As it turned out, one of the guests, a close friend of my brother, had picked up the ring, held it for safekeeping, and returned it to my brother when they met again this morning. A few minutes ago, he sent me a text message letting me know that the ring had been "found," and we were all very relieved.

One of the lessons to be learned from this is to notice things - especially things that are important to those close to you. I had no idea the ring meant so much to my brother, but I should have. I should have known my brother well enough to know that that ring meant a lot to him. And if it was on the book, I should have noticed that it was there. I was careless, and I'm sorry.

In my defense, however, it could be said that my brother was somewhat careless, too. I don't want to point out the faults of others, but there's an important lesson here. If something is very important to you, you should try very hard to protect it. This experience reminded me of other invaluable things that can be lost in a moment of carelessness and are difficult to regain, like virtue and trust. I almost blogged exclusively on whether it's just for God to allow such valuable things to be lost so easily, but really, it's not His fault we lose things. The items and attributes that are important to us are ours to protect. If we fail to protect them to the best of our ability, the fault is ours if they are lost.

(Please bear in mind that I'm not just talking about my brother's ring here, but also about something that I occasionally lose that I should guard more carefully. This lesson, though it was learned at my brother's expense this morning, is one that I should have learned a long time ago from my own experiences. It was foolish of me not to have learned this lesson and shared it already. If I had, perhaps my brother could have learned wisdom from my foolishness instead of having me learn it from his.)

A third lesson we can learn from this experience is the importance and value of communication. Had my brother told me how much the ring had meant to him, I would have watched for it more carefully. Had my brother's friend told us that she was holding onto the ring, none of us would have worried so much about needing to find it (and none of these lessons would have been learned). And when my brother informed us that the ring had been found, we all rejoiced with him. Properly used, communication can prevent harm and heal broken hearts. It is a powerful tool for good and we should use it more often.

On that same note, I should have apologized for losing the ring while the ring was still lost, rather than bitterly thinking that it was partly my brother's fault. I had been careless, and I easily could have been responsible for the perhaps-permanent loss of something my brother treasured. I should have admitted my fault humbly and apologized for it as soon as I heard that the ring was lost, or at least as soon as I learned how much it meant to him. I felt that a small rift was forming between us as we searched, each thinking that the other was mostly responsible for the loss. That rift may have only existed in my head, but had I apologized when I should have, I could have healed it. Instead, I let my pride drive what I felt like was a wedge into our friendship, which is something I value, something I should have fought harder to protect.

For what it's worth, if you're reading this, I'm sorry I lost your ring, and I'm sorry for not apologizing sooner. I hope you can forgive my carelessness and pride. I pledge to have reduced both of those things by the time we meet again.

It's tragic that many of life's most valuable lessons can only be learned through unpleasant experiences such as these. Then again, I've heard that "all's well that ends well," so if the ring has been found and the lessons have been learned and the rift, if it ever existed, has been healed, then I suppose this has turned out to be a positive experience in the end. I think God intends for all of our experiences to be at least as positive as this one. We just need to look for the lessons, do what we can to overcome life's challenges, and wait for the fulfillment of the promise that if we strive to be righteous, it'll all work out in the end.