I may have said before that one of my favorite pieces of Mormon "Deep Doctrine" is that as man now is, God once was, and as God now is, man my become (I'm too lazy right now to look for the exact quote). I liked it because it kind of humanized God. And I don't mean that in any disrespectful way. It basically helps me to understand that God truly does know how hard life is, because, in a literal sense, He's been there. It helps me to know how He's able to have such compassion and empathy as He does.
But the other half of that doctrine, the "as God now is, man may become" part, is starting to sound less and less attractive to me. At first, I was encouraged by this doctrine. I have such great potential. But... I don't think I'm cut out to be a God. I don't think I'm cut out to be a parent. Heck, I'm becoming less and less sure that I'm cut out to own a pet! I don't have enough patience, enough wisdom, or enough love to be a good parent when those that I care for start to act in a manner that frustrates me.
For example, while trying to ignore her barking (to tell her that she's not the boss), I missed the message when she tried to tell me that she had to go outside. While cleaning up the mess, I wished she had scratched on the door, like Anna does when she needs to go outside. And I said to myself, "I know I can't fault her for being ignorant, but can I at least fault her for annoying the crap out of the person who had paid $30 to save her life?"
At that point, I drew a parallel between her and me. I sin. I sin frequently. I break my Heavenly Father's commandments far more often than I should, and though it may not be fair to fault me for being weak, God would be totally justified in cursing me for disregarding the person who had bled at every pore to save my soul. I'm no better than she is. And God? God is a much better care-taker than I am.
I don't want to be a God. I don't want to have people count on me for everything and then act as if I don't exist. Knowing how weak I am, I would get angry at them. I'd probably stop helping them, just to show them how hopeless they are without me. I wonder how often God is tempted to do that. Probably as often as we deserve it. I don't know if I could be as strong and as good as He is. Because, believe me, just watching over a dog is starting to try me.
1 comment:
Sometimes I wish Anna would bark instead of scratching. Scratching is destructive. I know someone who put bells on the doors and trained her dog to ring them. maybe????
Yes, I have often thought that being God is not all that some people make it out to be. I mean He has joy, but He cannot have complete blissful happiness because we, His children, can be brats. I know it hurts Him when we hurt and especially hurts Him when we hurt each other. But! there is more to joy than liking everything that happens apparently and He's got that.
Also, we are hear to LEARN. Pets help you to learn. Because of your pet experiences you will be a better parent. Still not perfect. Because of your family experiences you will be closer to being able to be a God. I am pretty sure there is a LOT more schooling ahead of us if we do well enough here.
When (if, for some of us!!) we get there, we will like it better and be better at it than it seems from here.
And personally, I think you are off to a VERY GOOD start.
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