Another lesson I picked up from "Lord, Is It I?" is that we're sometimes not exactly as morally strong as we think we are. When Jesus told His disciples that one of them would betray Him, He was talking to the twelve people closest to Him - the twelve people that we might have expected to be the most loyal to Him. Yet, each of them felt the need to ask if they were the one that was going to betray Him.
At first thought, this seems like a silly question. The Lord's prophetic remark referred to a future action that one of them would take. In order to ensure that they were not the one who would take that action, any of them could have resolved, right then and there, not to do it. When Jesus said "one of you will betray me," any of them could have said, "well, it's not going to be me!" and then made the conscious choice not to betray Jesus.
That seems simple, but maybe it's not. It's possible to betray somebody by accident, as Pippin did when he told everyone in the Prancing Pony that he was traveling with Frodo Baggins. Also, even if you resolve not to do something, it can be tragically easy to find yourself doing it anyway, as we can see in the case of Peter denying that he knew Jesus, any addict who relapsed after a vow of abstinence, or anyone who has ever made a New Year's Resolution. It would have been possible that one of the twelve were going to betray Jesus without knowing beforehand that they were going to.
That leads me back to the point of not knowing exactly how strong we are. Peter thought that he was strong enough not to turn his back on Jesus, but then he did, three times, after being warned that he was going to. It seems that he wasn't quite as strong as he thought he was. On the other hand, I'm sure that some of the other disciples thought they were weaker than they were. A few of them, I'm sure, would have died before they betrayed Jesus, yet they must not have seen that strength within themselves because they all asked "Lord, is it I?"
I've said many times before that God knows us better than we know ourselves. The flip-side of that statement is that we don't know ourselves as well as God does. Maybe we are spiritually weak, but we don't see, or don't want to see, that weakness inside of us. Maybe we have enormous spiritual strength, but we see ourselves as being weak. Only God knows how strong we really are, how much temptation we can really resist, and which temptations would make us buckle. As we strive to evaluate our strengths and weaknesses, we should bear in mind that we're probably not the ones who are best qualified to judge us. God is. He can see through the biases and preconceptions we have about ourselves and truly see us as we really are. If we seek His guidance as we examine ourselves, He can help us see the truth. We may not know what we would or wouldn't do, but He does.
Frequent self-evaluation is important, but it's also important to remember that the measurements we make of ourselves may not be completely accurate. Instead of relying solely on our own observations and perceptions, we should look to God for answers to important questions, including the questions we may have about ourselves.
1 comment:
Good thoughts! Wise counsel.
I think that we sometimes, like Peter, are weak in what we perceive as the small moment. We think that what we say or do right then won't really change anything except maybe prevent us some embarrassment or discomfort. If Peter had thought he could take Jesus' place and sacrifice himself or Him, he probably would have. We need to remember though, that the small moments are not necessarily about how it will affect others, but how it shapes and reflects our character and our soul.
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