Burnt Toast and Honesty

In contrast to most nights, I currently have two thoughts I'd like to blog about. One of them concerns the immutability of God's laws (Even when our laws change, His don't). The other is about something else I saw on Facebook, plus thoughts pulled from a country song, contrasted against a widely-accepted virtue and church doctrine. The question that is raised, and hopefully answered, by these sources is "How honest should we be?"

I couldn't find the story again, but it went something like this: A parent was having a pretty rough day at home, trying to keep the kids out of trouble and trying to get the messes cleaned. While they were at it, they were preparing some toast, which ended up getting burnt. Their spouse, having just returned from work, or just finished preparing to leave for work, I can't remember which, ate the toast and commented about how good it was. The moral of the story was to be patient and sympathetic and, when necessary, to lie.

But according to a song by Brad Paisley, "That's not a lie - That's love." Sometimes, things go badly, but complaining about it would only make it worse. If you love someone, you would want them to feel good about themselves and their accomplishments. If that takes lying, so be it. Surely, it's kinder to give an insincere compliment than an honest complaint.

Or is it? Insincere compliments, especially when they're known to be insincere, can be just as painful as an honest complaint. My advice is to say nothing, or to be honest, but not brutally so. In the case of the burnt toast, the spouse could have simply said "Thank you for cooking this for me and for taking care of the kids." That would have been sympathetic without stretching the truth.

As members of the church, we believe in being honest. One of the temple recommend interview questions is "Are you honest in all your dealings with your fellow man?" Also, I'm sure that Jesus never lied to anyone, even to spare their feelings. It may take careful and/or clever word choices to be both honest and kind at the same time, but it can be done, and we should speak that way to each other rather than lying to each other to spare each other's feelings. Kindness is good, but honesty is essential. So if, after a hard day, someone serves you a piece of burnt toast, thank them kindly for it, but don't lie to them about how it tastes.

The Meanings of Words

I don't like to get political on this blog. I sometimes try not to get political on this blog. I feel like we get far too much about politically-charged topics from the media and our other Facebook friends. You really don't need to hear more about the Supreme Court's gay Marriage ruling from me. However, since it's the only thing anyone has been talking about for the past few days (yes, I know that's an exaggeration), it's the only thing I've been able to think about (another exaggeration), so I'm going to blog about it - or rather, a topic closely related to it - even though I have nothing more to say about it than what's already been said (I hope that was an exaggeration, too).

Some people find it distressing that certain words and symbols have been given new meanings. Personally, I don't mind that the definition of "gay" has been changed. I never use that word anyway, unless I'm singing Deck the Halls. But some people are upset at the change in definition, and I join them in being upset about the change of the implied meaning of the word "pride." I believe that if a person has pride, it means that there's an aspect of themselves that they appreciate and don't mind other people knowing about. A person can have pride in any aspect of themselves - not just atypical sexual attraction. For example, I take pride in being athletic. In my mind, a "pride rally" is a celebration at which everyone is openly proud of being the way they are, however they are, whether they're gay, straight, White, Black, male, female, or anything else. Those events that are being called "pride rallies" by some people are, in my opinion, "gay pride rallies," which are more specific.

I'd also like to complain about how the symbol of the rainbow has been changed by people's opinions and the media, but I'm already late in publishing this blog post, and it doesn't matter anyway.

Honestly, I don't think what words "mean" actually matters all that much. Words don't change what things really are. We could all disagree on whether a box is light or heavy, but popular opinion won't dictate its actual weight. You can call it pride. You can call it marriage. You can call me a bigot. But attaching labels to things won't change their true natures. If I truly am, or am not, a bigot, I won't be any more or less a bigot by your saying whether I am one or not. And if your marriage is valid, it isn't any less so by my saying that it isn't, or if it isn't valid, it isn't any more so by your saying that it is. Words don't matter. Words can be used to describe things, but not define them. Things are what they are, no matter what words we use for them. Truth is constant, even when the meanings of words and symbols change.

The Adverse Effects of the Improper Use of Magic

Those who have unlocked the secrets of the universe have discovered a number of magical hand signs - gestures that virtually anyone could make and that would activate powerful magical effects. One such hand sign is made by putting the fingers of one's right hand together and keeping them straight, all but the thumb and the pinky finger; the little finger is held curled by the thumb, which diagonally crosses the palm. The three longer fingers are aligned with the forearm, which is held vertical while the upper arm is held horizontal. This hand gesture channels cosmic energy to entrance most people who see it, causing them to fall silent. In addition, those who see the sign are compelled to make the sign themselves and to hold still and silent until the original maker of the sign lowers their arm. This mystical gesture is called the Scout Sign because it's most particularly effective on members of the Boy Scouts of America.

However, this magic has its limits. Though it can impose a profound silence and stillness on those who are normally noisy and rowdy, if an individual is exposed to the sign too frequently or too long, they can become resistant to its effects. I've seen this happen before. I was recently traveling with a camp of young and older men, all of whom were susceptible to the magic of the sign. Those with whom we were camping knew the secret of this sign, and they used its magic often. For the first few days, the power of the sign frequently held us in thrall, but gradually, its power over us began to weaken. Over time, the young men were able to resist the sign's magic for successively longer periods of time before falling silent and returning the sign. By the end of the week, we had become so desensitized to the power of the Scout Sign that when we were exposed to it one final time, by a powerful arch-mage, a respected member of our own clan no less, we all completely resisted its magic without even trying.

This cautionary tale is given to serve as a warning to anyone who would use this sign, or any other magical power, improperly. It was because the camp leaders used the sign too often that we developed a resistance to it. Similarly, there are many other magical powers that stand to face far harsher penalties than eventual ineffectiveness if they're used incorrectly. Magic, if not carefully handled, can have devastating, destructive, and even damning effects on those who use it, if they use it poorly. We must use the powers we've been given wisely, or we'll be stripped of them - or worse.

Thankfully, I believe that no permanent damage has been done. Over time, our resistance to the power of the Scout Sign will fade, and it will once again be as potent as it had been. However, when other powers are used equally badly, the results can be far more terrible and far more permanent. There are other gestures, actions, and words of power that can bring about powerful effects, for good or ill, depending on how you use them. So be cautious of what magic you use, and how and when you use it. If we use it properly, such magic can do a tremendous amount of good. If we use it improperly, we will be lucky if failing to function is the magic's only adverse effect.

My Post-Camp Shower

This afternoon, I came back from Scout Camp. Scout Camp is an adventure, five to seven days long, in which one usually gets sweaty, dirty, and generally filthy. Naturally, the first thing I did when I got home, after setting down all my camping gear, was going into the bathroom to take a shower. The shower itself didn't last long, especially compared to the length of my camping trip, but that brief shower washed a whole week worth of dirtiness off of me and left me feeling fresh and clean.

As I sat, clean, at this computer, I thought "If one quick shower can wash away over 100 hours of dirtiness, imagine how much sin a few minutes of sincere repentance can wash away." I was reminded of a quote Elder Holland gave to a group of BYU students in his May 18, 1980 devotional, For Times of Trouble:

You can change anything you want to change, and you can do it very fast. That’s another satanic suckerpunch—that it takes years and years and eons of eternity to repent. It takes exactly as long to repent as it takes you to say, “I’ll change”—and mean it.

This is one of those quotes that I remember hearing and liking, but couldn't confirm its authenticity until now. It's an encouraging message - one that we all need to hear from time to time, but it's not complete. Only looking at the passage above, one could get the impression that repentance is something one could do quickly at the last minute and expect to be forgiven of all the bad things they've ever done. Though repentance is faster than you might think, it may also be harder. Elder Holland continues:

Of course there will be problems to work out and restitutions to make. You may well spend—indeed you had better spend—the rest of your life proving your repentance by its permanence. But change, growth, renewal, and repentance can come for you as instantaneously as for Alma and the sons of Mosiah.

I just spent a whole week getting dirty, and it only took me a few minutes to get clean again, but if I go outside again, work up a sweat, and get myself all dusty and filthy again, that shower I've taken won't have meant much. Similarly, repentance doesn't take an eternity, but proving the sincerity of one's repentance does. Yes, we can repent quickly if we really mean it, but if we go back to our old ways immediately after "repenting," then that repentance won't have had a real, lasting effect on our souls. Repentance can be instantaneous, but it has to be sincere.

I'm grateful I went to Scout Camp. It was a fun experience and I also think that I learned and grew while I was up there. Yes, I got dirty, and there were times when it was unpleasant, but that's exactly like life. In our lives, all of us will face challenges and learn from them, and all of us will get dirty and sweaty along the way. Thankfully, we can bathe as often as we want to, both literally and metaphorically, so we can have those growing experiences and still keep ourselves clean.

"En la Causa Celestial"

This morning, I had the great privilege of singing the first verse of the hymn "Called to Serve" in Spanish. I cannot read or speak much Spanish, but I know it well enough to know that there are some differences in meaning between the English and Spanish versions of the hymn. Eager to find out what the differences were (and blog about them), I asked Google Translate to tell me what the words of the Spanish version mean in English.

Of course, Google Translate disappointed me. Anyone who has heard the name Malinda Kathleen Reese, or seen my blog post Mistranslations and Misinterpretations, or has any experience with Google Translate at all, could probably tell you that Google Translate isn't always perfectly accurate. Case in point, it translated "Todos cantaremos nuestro alegre son triunfal" to "All are cheerful sing our triumphant." That might be close to what the phrase really means, but I get the feeling that it's not quite there. I'll have to do a more careful translation when I have time. When I do, I'll make sure to pay special attention to "prestos" and "listos," both of which Google Translate translated to "ready."

However, even with just a brief look at untrustworthy translations, I found a phrase who's translation which (whether it's correct or not) is rather inspiring and highlights a spiritual truth the likes of which I am especially fond. The last two lines of the Spanish version of the chorus, the last two lines you hear when anyone sings this song, are "Dios nos da poder; luchemos en la causa celestial," which, according to Google Translate, translates to "God gives us power; we fight in the heavenly cause."

We, especially the missionaries among us, do indeed "fight in the heavenly cause," and it is God who gives us the power to do so. The fighting is almost always figurative, but whether we're battling temptation or misinformation, it could certainly be said that we are at war. The good news is that we are on the right side of this war (I know no one ever thinks they're not, but still). We fight for the heavenly cause. This is God's fight as much as it is ours. And we are on God's side, which means that He is also on ours. This means that God is likely to (and does) grant us divine favor in these battles. Since we are helping to fight God's battles, God gives us the power we need to win.

This is an encouraging thought when we're faced with temptation, fierce opposition, and discouragement. Though it's hard to defeat such enemies, we know that we never have to face them alone. This is God's war too, and He wants us to win it, so He strengthens us and guides us so we can overcome our enemies and all the other challenges of life. We don't have to worry that we may fail because God is helping us. Because we are fighting in the heavenly cause, God will give us the power we need to win

PS. I'm going to Scout Camp this week, so you won't hear from me again until Saturday. See you then!

Guidance and Resistance

In Dungeons and Dragons, each spell has a numeric level. There are weak, 1st level spells, like Comprehend Languages and Detect Magic, and there are powerful, 9th level spells, like Miracle and Time Stop, and everything in between. Each spellcaster can only cast a certain number of spells of each level per day, and when you've used up your day's allotment of spells, you can't cast any more spells for the rest of the day. For example, a 1st level Cleric can cast only two 1st level spells per day, while a 5th level Cleric can cast four 1st level spells, three 2nd level spells, and two 3rd level spells per day. The higher level a spellcaster is and the lower level a spell is, the more times that caster can cast that spell each day. However, there is one spell level so low that (in Fifth Edition) even a 1st level caster can cast spells of that level as many times per day as they want, even if they've already expended all their other magic. These infinite-use spells are called 0th level spells, or cantrips, and they can be very useful.

Two of my favorite 0th level spells are Guidance and Resistance, which each provide a small bonus to almost anything you could want to do while playing D&D. Are you looking out for traps? You might pray for Guidance. Do you need to overcome the effects of a disease or poison? Pray for Resistance. Want to jump across a chasm? Pray for Guidance to help you time your jump. Is someone trying to manipulate you with magic? Pray for Resistance to help you retain or regain control of yourself. I'm currently playing a Cleric character who regularly prays for Guidance and Resistance to help him and his companions tackle nearly every challenge that they face, but he's not the only one who can do that.

We don't need to be able to channel holy magic in order to be able to pray for help. Anyone can pray for assistance with the hope of getting it. Often, the amount of help we get is small, almost impossible to notice, but sometimes, it's enough to make a difference. And best of all, it's free. We can pray for help as often as we need to, as many times per day as we want. There are no limits to the amount of help we can get from God each day.

It may seem like a waste of divine power to pray over simple things, like asking God to bless our meals or grant us safety as we drive from one place to another, but the power of God is infinite. It can't be wasted because it never runs out. The source of God's power is inexhaustible, no matter how frequently we pray for aid. Also, even if it was a waste of God's power, it's completely within God's power not to grant it to us. We can ask for help as much as we want; God can always say "no" whenever He needs to, even though He usually says "yes."

However, God usually only grants us such aid when we remember to ask for it, which prompts two questions: Why does God make us pray for help that He's already willing to grant us, and if He usually grants us aid just for our having asked for it, why do we ever forget to ask? It may be that God requires us to pray for aid so that we know that our blessings come from Him, rather than from mere luck or science. By praying for aid and getting it, even our everyday actions can bring us closer to God. So why do we forget to pray for aid? Why indeed.

Maybe we think it'd be a waste of God's power for Him to lend us a hand from time to time, but we should let Him be the judge of that. He has invited us to ask for His help. If He (for whatever reason) chooses not to grant us the aid that He's invited us to ask for, He's still free not to. We don't have to worry about asking too much, because God can always say "no."

Maybe we think it's not worth the time it takes to pray for help. I'll admit, a +1d4 bonus to your d20 roll sometimes isn't worth using a Standard Action to get it, but it only takes a couple of seconds, and praying for help is even easier in real life than it is in D&D. In fact, we can pray for God's help while we're in the act of doing whatever it is we want God's help in doing, so it really takes no time at all.

I think the real reason we sometimes don't ask for heavenly aid is that we simply forget to. Maybe we forget that help is available to us if only we remember to ask for it. Well, consider this your reminder. If you find that you need another reminder later, reread Alma Chapter 34 and ask yourself if there's anything so trivial that God doesn't want you to pray about it. As for me, I get a reminder of how easy it is to pray for guidance and resistance every time my Cleric character does it.

The Unspecified Deadline

I have about 30 minutes to think of something and blog about it, but having just spent a few hours doing math homework, the only things I can think about right now is how much I still have left to do and how little time I have left to do it in.

I wonder how much our lives would change if we knew how much, or how little, time we had left to live. Would we still squander our time, as some people do, or would the looming deadline (no pun intended) fill our lives with a sense of urgency? I'm inclined to expect the latter, mostly from my own experience with schoolwork and deadlines, but sometimes, knowing the exact date a project is due can foster procrastination. If I know that I have a paper due next week, I'll probably start working on it right now, but if I know the paper won't be due for a month or two, depending on the length and difficulty of the paper, I'll probably still wait for the week it's due before I start working on it. If I knew I was going to die next month, I'd spend the next few weeks far differently than I would if I knew I would live for a thousand years after that.

The trouble is that I know that I won't live for a thousand years. At maximum, I'll live to be 100, but I'll probably die a few decades before that. Given that I can expect to live several decades, that gives me a framework on which I could build a plan for my life. Then again, even if I take all the precautions necessary to live a long life, I may still die sooner than I should. The truth is that no one really knows exactly when they're going to die, and that lack of knowledge either fosters a sense of urgency, or it doesn't.

Some people, understanding that they could die at any moment, live each day to the fullest. Maybe they plan for their future, or maybe they won't, but they'll certainly prepare to cross the threshold. They make sure they have their ducks in a row, and they spend as much time as possible with their families. It's not a bad way to live, except that those who live that way tend to be short-sighted.

For others, not knowing when they're going to die means that they're going to die "later." These people expect to live a good, long time, and probably don't think very much about their eventual death. They live for the future, often at the expense of the moment. Alternatively, those who don't expect to die any time soon tend not to worry about how their everyday lives might affect their afterlives. Wickedness and righteousness mean little to those who don't expect to face their final judgement until a number of decades down the road.

Theoretically, there is some kind of "best of both worlds" lifestyle, such that one could plan for their temporal future while being spiritually ready to die at any time. Such people might live for the moment, but also prepare for the future. Perhaps that's the main reason we're not told when we're going to die. It forces us to prepare for the future we may or may not be given while forcing us to prepare for the "deadline" that may or may not come soon.

How to Escape a Monkey Trap

I just saw this quote on Facebook: "God is preparing you for new things, but you've got to let go of some of your old things." That's essentially what repentance means. We naturally pick up bad habits, frequently without meaning to, and we must learn to let them go so we can move on.

I'm reminded of a monkey trap. I've heard that if you want to catch a monkey, one way to do it is to put a piece of fruit in a heavy box with a hole that's only barely big enough for the monkey to get his hand through. When the monkey reaches in to get the fruit, he'll find that he can't get it out because he can't pull his hand out of the box while it's wrapped around the fruit. The monkey becomes stuck, not because the box had any kind of trap on it, but because he refuses to let go of the fruit.

Satan would like to trap us, but he has no real power to take away our freedom. All he can do is tempt us to make bad decisions. Over time, those decisions can become habits, and sometimes we hold onto those habits, even after we've realized that they're what's holding us back. Thankfully, Satan can't restrain us after we've made the decision to let go of the fruit and leave. We can always choose to let go. Yes, we'll miss out on some fruit, some temporary pleasures, and the empty promises that our enemy offers, but what we get instead is so much better.

God has promised us great things. We have a glorious future waiting for us. But we can't get there with our hands trapped in fruit boxes. In order to get the new things God has promised us, we have to let go of the old things that are holding us back.

He Forgives Us Because He Loves Us

I had forgotten how good Mormon Messages are. Let's see if I remember how to share them.



Some months ago, my family watched Disney's UP, and my mom recommended that I pick out something inspirational from that movie to share on my blog. Little did she know that I had already picked something out. When the man in the video above prayed sincerely for the first time in years, acknowledging the existence of God and asking Him why He would want to help him, the Lord responded "Mark it's because I love you." That was the same reason Dug gave for returning to Mister Fredrickson after having been scolded, and as I understand it, it's the main reason why God does anything - because He loves us.

Sometimes, it's astonishing that God still loves us after all we put Him through. As Mark was crouching behind the bushes after robbing that convenience store, he felt like he had given up his second chance and that he didn't deserve to have a third one. Yet, because of God's great love for us, He is willing to give us as many chances as we're willing to take. God will never give up on us until we give up on ourselves, and sometimes not even then. As Elder Craig A Cardon, who spoke at the end of the video, said in his April 2013 General Conference talk, The Savior Wants to Forgive:

Even with the multitude of sins occasioned by the weakness of mortality, as often as we repent and seek His forgiveness, He forgives again and again.

Because of this, all of us, including those struggling to overcome addictive behaviors such as substance abuse or pornography and those close to them, can know that the Lord will recognize our righteous efforts and will lovingly forgive when repentance is complete, “until seventy times seven.”

It's incredible to me that God's love for us is so great that it endures, undiminished, despite our many failings and mistakes. A lesser man would have less patience and would become frustrated, perhaps even angry at how human we are. I'm sure we sometimes do. Yet, because God's compassion for us is so great, because He can see our divine potential, and because He loves us so much that He wants us to come home, despite all we've done, He is willing to look past our current weakness and grant us His forgiveness far more often than we deserve it.

I am very, very grateful for the enduring love of God. There have been many times when I would have given up on myself if not for the knowledge that God hadn't given up on me. Because He loves me, I know that I can keep striving for righteousness, no matter how many times I fail, and that gives me the courage to try again every time I fall short. I have a firm testimony of the loving and forgiving nature of God. He loves us, and I know that He'll continue to love us no matter how many times we prove unworthy of His love. God believes in second chances. And because He does, so do I.

Theology for House Pets

I've heard that the difference between dogs and cats is that because we feed them, shelter them, open doors for them, and love them, dogs believe that we're gods, while cats, because we feed them, shelter them, opens doors for them, and love them, believe that they are gods. Now, this was just a silly saying someone posted on the internet, but it raises the question: Is it more God-like to serve or to be served? Is it more God-like to be powerful or to be obeyed?

Some would argue that the ability to control others is a higher form of power, but it's not the kind of power I would want. If I were a God, I would rather have the ability to do things myself than to be personally powerless and have powerful servants. But whichever form the power takes, I believe that it's more in-line with God's nature to serve others than to expect others to serve us. Yes, God does ask for our obedience, but that's more for our benefit than His. Meanwhile, there are countless miracles granted and prayers answered by God for our benefit every day. God serves us much more than we are even able to serve Him.

All in all, I think that dogs are more right about the nature of God than cats are, not because I think that we are particularly God-like, but because there is a spark of divinity in each of us, giving us small portions of His power and goodness. And when we use our God-given powers to perform acts of Christian service, that is when we are most like God.

Nine Questions for Self-Reflection

During his talk at the start of the April 2015 Priesthood Session of General Conference, Elder M. Russell Ballard encouraged the young adults to listen to his talk "as though we were having a personal video chat right now. Please look at me for a few minutes as though you and I were the only ones in the room" Then he asked nine questions which, while important to the future, current, and returned missionaries of the church, are also important to everyone else:

1. Do you search the scriptures regularly?

2. Do you kneel in prayer to talk with your Heavenly Father each morning and each night?

3. Do you fast and donate a fast offering each month—even if you are a poor, struggling student who can’t afford to donate much?

4. Do you think deeply about the Savior and His atoning sacrifice for you when you are asked to prepare, bless, pass, or partake of the sacrament?

5. Do you attend your meetings and strive to keep the Sabbath day holy?

6. Are you honest at home, school, church, and work?

7. Are you mentally and spiritually clean? Do you avoid viewing pornography or looking at websites, magazines, movies, or apps, including Tinder and Snapchat photos, that would embarrass you if your parents, Church leaders, or the Savior Himself saw you?

8. Are you careful with your time—avoiding inappropriate technology and social media, including video games, which can dull your spiritual sensitivity?

9. Is there anything in your life you need to change and fix, beginning tonight?

I'll admit, I wasn't happy with all of my answers to those questions, which I suppose gives me my answer to question nine. We could all stand to do better in at least a few of those areas, but I guess that's what discipleship is all about. We're all meant to continually look for ways in which to improve. Some of those ways involve doing better at things we do or should do regularly - the little things that reflect how much of an impact the Gospel has on our daily lives. Reading through this list of questions, I can clearly see that I need to become a better disciple. Thankfully the changes I need to make are small. The hard part will be in making those changes consistently every day.

A Peaceful Hymn

It took me WAY too long to find this blog post, but I knew I had already blogged about the song about which I'm about to blog, and I figured that I should look up what I had said about it previously before I blogged about it again.

The song is called "My Shepherd Will Supply my Need." It's a sweet, peaceful song that helps me feel the Spirit when I think about it, partly because it's so peaceful. The second verse of the song sets the theme nicely.

When I walk through the shades of death
His presence is my stay;
One word of His supporting grace
Drives all my fears away.
His hand, in sight of all my foes,
Doth still my table spread;
My cup with blessings overflows,
His oil anoints my head.

The hymn sings of protection and providence. It sings of the grace and goodness of God. It reminds us that even if things are bleak, God will be there with us to help us get through our troubling times.

The signs of the Second Coming warn of troubling times for everyone, including the faithful, but hymns like this can help us retain our faith, even when times are hard, and help us trust that God'll get us through our trials. Life is not always going to be peaceful, but as we remember God and continue to turn to Him, He can fill our hearts, if not our lives, with peace.

Waiting With Hope

In the June 2015 issue of the Liahona magazine, Connie Goulding shared a story about 33 Chilean miners who became trapped after a cave-in. It was 17 days before they were found, but because of the instability of the rock, they had to wait another 52 days before they were rescued. During the 52 days between their discovery and their rescue, the miners were sustained by "food, water, medicine, and notes from loved ones," slipped in through a narrow shaft that had been drilled into their cavern, but there was one more thing that came through that shaft that sustained them: hope. They had been found. They knew they would be rescued. They just needed to wait.

This must have been a difficult time for them. Through they had finally made contact with the outside world and they were receiving the love and nourishment they needed to stay alive, they were still imprisoned, and no one knew how long it would be until they'd be rescued. They spent nearly a total of 69 days having hope for an eventual rescue, but being forced to wait.

Like them, we sometimes find ourselves in dark places, and sometimes, there's nothing we can do to get out. Sometimes, there's nothing we can do but wait and trust that God will eventually deliver us. Such waiting can be painfully difficult, but the Lord has promised that, if we stay faithful, we will be freed. I know that, no matter what troubles you, it won't trouble you forever. It may take time, but you too will be rescued. We all will. We just need to be patient, stay faithful, and hold on to hope.

Freedom + Fun ≠ Happiness

Another thing that came up in that Institute class Thursday night was this interesting quote:

As New York Times columnist David Brooks said: “People are not better off when they are given maximum personal freedom to do what they want.They’re better off when they are enshrouded in commitments that transcend personal choice—commitments to family, God, craft and country.” (Quoted in Why Marriage and Family Matter - Everywhere in the World)

 In my own life, I've found that to be true. There are some days in which I do what I feel like doing. Other days, I do what I know I should do every day. At the end of the day, the days I feel best about are the ones on which I did what I had to do, not what I wanted to do. We have the freedom to carve out our own paths to happiness, yet those paths generally don't get us anywhere close to it. God knows the true path to happiness, and He encourages us to follow it. It's not a fun path, but the older I get, the more I learn that fun and true happiness have very little in common. You can find happiness and still have fun, but you can't pursue fun and still find happiness. At least, not in the places most people look for fun.

The way to true happiness takes commitment, but it's worth every commitment you have to make and keep. Those commitments are there to protect us. They keep us from the "fun" things that would detract from our happiness.

Practicing Parenthood

At Pathway tonight, we looked at two talks about marriage and family from this last General Conference. If you attended last General Conference, you probably recall that there were several talks about families this time - so many, in fact, that I marvel that any of them had anything truly unique to say. Yet, one of them, Why Marriage and Family Matter - Everywhere in the World by Elder L. Tom Perry, taught me yet another reason why families are so important.

I know what I'm about to say isn't news to anyone who's reading this, but God isn't just God. He isn't just some all-powerful creature who decided to make creatures so He could watch them do whatever they do, like a child watches an ant farm. God is our Heavenly Father. He is the Father of our spirits. We are the children of God. And from modern revelation, we've learned that we can grow up to become like our Father. We can become parents, too.

Families can teach us about our relationship with God, but they can also give us practical experience we can draw on when we become heavenly parents. Raising children can give us insights to how God raises us, but it can also teach us how to raise our future spirit children.

I had never thought about marriage and child-rearing that way until this evening, but it makes a lot of sense. One of the main reasons we came to Earth is to gain practical experience in doing things that we'll be doing for the rest of eternity. Partly, that means exercising self-control and essentially being perfect (which takes a LOT of practice!) and partly, that means learning how to raise children. We have to learn it somewhere, and it's a central part of God's plan that we start learning it here.

Families are so important to God's plan because they fulfill so many vital roles. They bring more of our Heavenly Father's spirit children into the world, they give those children safe, loving places in which to learn about the Gospel, they teach us how our Heavenly Father must feel as He watches over us, and now I've learned that families also teach us what we need to do to become heavenly parents.

Marriage and families are divine institutions inspired and ordained of God. Raising a family has many lasting benefits. Now, I've learned about another one. While reading through those talks about marriage and families, I felt a witness that families are a central part of God's plan. Thanks to the discussion we had in Pathway class tonight, now I know yet another reason why. It takes practice to become good parents. I can only imagine how much practice it must take to become heavenly ones!

Growing Toward Heaven Though Rooted on Earth

In his April 2015 General Conference talk, The Lord is My Light, Elder Quentin L. Cook used the example of young sunflowers to teach us how we can find hope and thrive, even in a challenging world.

One of the remarkable characteristics of young wild sunflowers, in addition to growing in soil that is not hospitable, is how the young flower bud follows the sun across the sky. In doing so, it receives life-sustaining energy before bursting forth in its glorious yellow color.

Like the young sunflower, when we follow the Savior of the world, the Son of God, we flourish and become glorious despite the many terrible circumstances that surround us. He truly is our light and life.

Everyone faces many challenges in life. Thankfully, we never have to face them alone. As long as we turn our hearts to God and look to Him for guidance and strength, He can empower us to resist and overcome the evil in the world. With His help, we can grow to become like Him, no matter what kind of soil we've been planted in. One thing that we should remember is that the world in which we live now was not our first home. Our roots go deeper than that. We lived in heaven before we came here and we can live in heaven again. We just need to fix our eyes on heaven, draw upon the power that comes from there, and continue to grow towards it.

The Instrument or the Master

This morning, in preparation for an Institute class I'll attend later, I read two General Conference talks from this last Conference, both of which were about families. The first was Why Marriage and Family Matter - Everywhere in the World by Elder L. Tom Perry, and the second was Why Marriage, Why Family by Elder D. Todd Christofferson. I've already blogged about Elder L. Tom Perry's talk, but I had skipped over Elder D. Todd Christofferson's talk, partly because we had already heard so many talks about marriage. Fortunately, Elder Christofferson's talk covers more than just marriage.

As he was setting up his explanation for why marriage and family are essential to God's plan, he first explained the basics of what God's plan is. He said that an essential part of God's plan includes us coming to Earth and gaining bodies (preferably as parts of families). These bodies would give us physical experience and would test us. Among these tests would be the test of self-mastery. "Could we bridle the flesh so that it became the instrument rather than the master of the spirit?"

We are each, to a certain extent, at war with ourselves. Often, we find that our carnal selves and our spiritual selves want different things and that for either of them to be satisfied, one has to yield to the other. When the will of the flesh overpowers the will of our spirits, evil follows. However, when we exercise control over ourselves and make our bodies yield to our spirits, we become powerful agents of good. Our spirits are inherently good-natured, but there's not much that spirits can do on their own. Our bodies are far more capable, yet they're also more strongly influenced by evil. If we choose to control ourselves, our bodies can become instruments for our spirits. By combining the good will of the spirit with the capability of our bodies, we can do great things and even grow to become like God.

On the other hand, if we let our bodies talk control, our spirits will suffer. Guided by the will of the flesh, we will inevitably make many bad choices, for which we will then need to repent. And if we don't repent (because our carnal selves won't want to), our spirits will be consigned to a state of endless misery.

For better or worse, our spirits and bodies are stuck with each other. Where either of them goes, the other will shortly follow, whether that path leads to heaven or to hell. The spirit always strives for heaven, but the flesh seeks the path that leads to hell. With every choice we make, we decide which will have more control over the other, and which one will take us where it wants to go. Obtaining bodies is essential to God's plan, but also essential to God's plan is learning how to control them rather than letting them control us.

Too Close for Kindness

In "Bonking on Branches," I said that some people aren't terribly bright. That wasn't a very nice thing to say, especially when I was specifically referring to someone I'm particularly close to and whose feelings I care about. I wonder sometimes whether we're as kind to our family members as we are to others and if we're as kind to ourselves as we are to our families. The gospel is full of teachings that encourage us to love everyone. Shouldn't that include, well, everyone? Family, friends, strangers, neighbors, coworkers, members, nonmembers, and ourselves?

I think most of us do alright at being kind to others. When around strangers, neighbors, coworkers, members and nonmembers, we tend to be on our best behavior. Some of us may need more practice at treating friends like family, but I think more of us struggle at treating family members, including ourselves, the way we'd treat our friends.

The problem may be that we're more comfortable around our own families than around others. We're more ready to open up and say how we really feel, even if it comes out bluntly or sharply. Other times, we jest, poking fun at each other or ourselves. Maybe we don't mean anything by it, but it still runs the risk of hurting feelings, and really, why would we do that to our own family? Why would we do that to ourselves? Don't we care about our own and our family's feelings? Don't we want ourselves and our families to be happy? Why would we ever say unkind things to or about the people we're most closely connected to?

One idea that may help us avoid being unkind to those closest to us is to stop and think, would I act this way if I wasn't so closely related to this person? Would I talk this way about a coworker? Would I say those things about my boss? Would I be this rough with someone from my ward whom I know is struggling with a personal challenge? (And believe me, we are all struggling with personal challenges.) If we take a moment to think about whether we'd say or do certain things to or about people we're not as close to, we can train ourselves to treat our family as well as we treat our friends and neighbors.

Now, I'm not saying any of this because anyone was unkind to me. They weren't, at least not within living memory. The real reason I'm saying this is because I and a few people I care about are often too hard on ourselves. We treat ourselves far less kindly than we treat others. We insult and chastise ourselves. We give ourselves a hard time, when I know that we would never do any of that to anyone else. To everyone else, we're kind, thoughtful, and sensitive people. Why is it that we so rarely extend that kindness, patience, and love back to ourselves? By seeing ourselves as our siblings' sibling, our children's parent, our parents' child, our neighbor's neighbor, or a friend of a friend, we may end up being more kind to ourselves that we might otherwise have been. At the very least, we all have at least one Friend who would hate for anyone to be mean to us, even us. God loves everyone, and He wants us to love everyone, including our family members, including ourselves.

Two Great Blessings for Fasting

Last Thursday night, at an institute class focussing on the teachings of the living prophets, we read several passages from President Henry B. Eyring's talk, "Is Not This the Fast That I Have Chosen?" Each student was asked to select a sentence or two from this talk or another one we were reading that evening, to share with the group. The sentence I selected from that talk was "He [who fasts] will have the spiritual blessing of power to receive inspiration and greater capacity to resist temptation." In essence, fasting strengthens our connection to God.

I'm not sure exactly what it is about fasting that brings about this effect. Perhaps it's the prayer, the sacrifice, the practice in self-control, or any combination of those things. Whatever it is, fasting helps us connect more deeply to God and our Savior, allowing us to draw on some of their wisdom and strength. This is a miraculous ability and a remarkable privilege. Regardless of the other good that fasting does, fasting once a month would be worth it, just for how it helps us draw upon the strength of the Lord. In our day, we need that strength. We need the strength to resist temptation and the wisdom to avoid it. We need the wisdom to know what to do and the strength of will to do it. In our daily lives, we need God's help. And God has promised that we can get it just by exercising a little bit of self-control.

Many Enemies

Earlier today, I watched an animated film version of a story about a group of rabbits that face innumerable dangers in their search for a good home. It is suggested, in both the movie and in the book on which it was based, that rabbits have many enemies, and it seems as though the world itself were trying to kill them. If we were speaking of spiritual peril, the same could almost be said for us. The world has become a place of dangerously low standards. We are surrounded by evil influences and those who yield to them. In that sense, we have as many enemies as the rabbits did in the story.

In the story, Watership Down by Richard Adams, the rabbits had to be quick and clever to survive, and even then, there was a good deal of divine intervention. In our story, swift responses and wise plans can help us resist and escape personal temptations. As Frith said to the first rabbit (in the film version, at least), "If [your enemies] catch you, they will kill you. But they'll have to catch you first." Temptations to commit sin are all around us and they can destroy us if they catch us, but with wisdom and with God's help, we can escape them.

Yet, we can take advantage of strengths rabbits don't have. Avoiding and escaping temptation aren't our only options, which is lucky, because sometimes they aren't options. Alternatively, or rather Additionally, we can stand our ground. When we can't escape temptation, we can resist it. Unlike rabbits, we can fight most of our enemies and win. Of course, divine aid often plays a role in our spiritual battles, as it does with helping us avoid and escape temptation, but God frequently lets us exercise our own strength and succeed with our own abilities.

Though our tactics are in some ways different than those of the rabbits in Watership Down, there are also similarities in our conditions and what we can do about them. Sometimes, there's nothing we can do about our situations except escape or endure them. Sometimes, we have the power and cunning to change our conditions. Regardless of whether we fight our enemies or merely escape them, we have plenty of spiritual enemies to fight and escape. Whether through strength or wisdom or swiftness or cunning, we can defeat the many enemies we face in this life, or at least prevent them from destroying us.

Bonking on Branches

When a person bonks their head on a low-hanging branch of the tree, they usually become slightly annoyed (either at themselves or at the tree) and make a mental note to pay more attention to that limb in the future.

If that person bonks their head on the same branch a second time within the same morning, both the irritation and the resolution to be cautious increase.

By the third time a person hits their head on that same tree limb, it becomes very likely that they'll take some form of action to prevent the incident from happening again. For instance, they might hang a rope from that branch in such a way that they might see the rope and remember to avoid the limb.

This may work several times.

It also might happen that, even with the rope hanging visibly from the low-hanging branch, the person still manages to hit his or her head on the branch again by walking toward it backward.

Some people are not terribly bright.

Though, to be fair to the person who repeatedly accidentally hit their head on the same branch on the same day, many other people, most of us in fact, repeatedly make similarly foolish mistakes. Maybe we fall victim to the small vices we may have. Maybe we make mistakes, but fail to learn from them. I'm sure we all do things we wish we wouldn't do. A wise man is not one who never makes foolish mistakes, but one who learns from such mistakes and takes measures to prevent them.

The question is what measures we can take to reduce the likelihood of repeated mistakes, and what we do if and when those measures fail. Tying a rope to a tree branch may help us see the branch before we hit it, but only if we're watching where we're going. When a preventative measure fails, we should try to find out whether the preventative measure was simply ineffective or whether it merely failed to prevent all possible causes of the problem.

Also, trying a rope to a tree branch is not the universal solution to our everyday mistakes. Unfortunately, each problem is different, and thus requires different solutions. As a person may have done with a rope and a tree branch, we may just have to try something and see if it works, though the Prophets tend to be good sources of ideas to try, depending on the problem.

Another important thought to consider after hearing this hypothetical story is how many times one is willing to suffer the results of a poor decision before they take active measures to prevent it from happening again. Do we try to fix the problem as soon as we learn that there is one, or do we wait until we decide that the problem is serious and/or frequent enough that we need to do something about it? While it may not be practical to take measures to prevent any mistake we could possibly make, it's certainly foolish to make the same mistake repeatedly when you could do something to prevent it. Some people only need to hit their head on a branch once to learn well enough to avoid it in the future. Others may hit their heads two or three times before they manage to prevent it from happening again. And some of us are still bonking our heads on branches, wondering how we could be so foolish, when the question we really ought to be considering is what we would have to do to become wise.

The ability to prevent repeated mistakes lies in seeing patterns of behavior and occurrences leading up to the mistakes. If we notice that we hit our heads on branches when we push a wheelbarrow full of dirt toward a trailer or when we go to where we left our backpacks to get a drink of water, we might learn to take extra care and look up when we push wheelbarrows or take a water break. If we can find the patterns in our lives, we can begin to look for ways to change them.

We make foolish mistakes, sometimes repeatedly. But if we can learn why we keep making mistakes like those, and take active measures to prevent them, we might bonk our heads on branches a few fewer times than we might have.

Define Guile

What is guile? Why is it a bad thing to have guile? And if guile is such a bad thing, why isn't it a bad thing that Ammon caught King Lamoni with it?

Though the usually dictionary definitions suggest that guile can refer to any kind of cunning or craftiness, not necessarily deception, the Guide to the Scriptures makes the term unfortunately clear: "In the scriptures, guile is deceitful cunning." Judging by the General Conference talks that have mentioned guile and many of the scriptures that also do, guile seems to be a bad trait to have.

Elder Ringwood's talk, Truly Good and Without Guile, mentions guile many times, mostly stating that those who are truly good and without guile do what's right, without any consideration of glory-seeking. But the phrase "truly good and without guile" did not come from Elder Ringwood. He borrowed that phrase, and the entire paragraph in which he heard it, from President Deiter F. Uchtdorf's talk, "Lord, Is It I?" However, President Uchtdorf used the word "guile" only this one time during that talk:

Over the course of my life, I have had the opportunity to rub shoulders with some of the most competent and intelligent men and women this world has to offer. When I was younger, I was impressed by those who were educated, accomplished, successful, and applauded by the world. But over the years, I have come to the realization that I am far more impressed by those wonderful and blessed souls who are truly good and without guile.

Thankfully, my search of the scriptures turned up more results, though no more answers. In the Doctrine and Covenants, a few individuals are said to be without guile, in a context that implies that that trait made them trustworthy. An example of this is George Miller, who is mentioned in D&C 124: 20:

And again, verily I say unto you, my servant George Miller is without guile; he may be trusted because of the integrity of his heart; and for the love which he has to my testimony I, the Lord, love him.

In the New Testament, when Jesus Christ described Nathanael as "an Israelite indeed, in whom is no guile" (John 1:47), He seemed to have meant it as a compliment. But Nathanael wasn't the only person alive at time who lacked guile. In 1 Peter 2:22, Jesus Christ was described as being a man "who did no sin, neither was guile found in his mouth." And this came after verse 21, which tells us that Jesus set an example for us to follow!

Yet, in the Book of Mormon and in the New Testament, two servants of God caught those whom they were preaching to with guile, and one of them openly admitted it. In Alma chapter 18, Ammon asked King Lamoni if he would believe what he was about to teach him. "And the king answered him, and said: Yea, I will believe all thy words. And thus he was caught with guile" (Alma 18: 23). And in Paul's second epistle to the Corinthians, he confessed that, "being crafty, I caught you with guile" (2 Corinthians 12: 16).

I'm going to have to do more studying to find out why it was okay for Ammon and Paul to use guile, even though it's clear from many scriptural sources that possessing guile is not usually a good thing. Perhaps possessing guile is bad, but catching someone with it isn't? But that doesn't make any sense. Like I said, more study is required. I'll look more closely at the story of Ammon to determine exactly how he caught King Lamoni with guile and whether he did anything crafty or deceitful in doing so. It would be harder to find out when and how Paul caught the Corinthians with guile. The records of that event may not even exist. So I'll just work with what I have. Did Ammon do something wrong by catching King Lamoni with guile? If not, what made that okay? I look forward to finding the answers to those questions. But first, I have some chores to do.

The Nameless Faithful

As I read and listened to Elder Micheal T. Ringwood's talk, Truly Good and Without Guile, two things stood out to me. The first is that I'm not 100% sure I know what the word "guile" means. I looked it up in the dictionary; it means something like cunning or cleverness, especially when used to deceive others. But then, what does it mean to be "truly good and without guile"? Sincerity, perhaps? And what does it mean when King Lamoni was "caught with guile" by Ammon, the Nephite missionary. He hadn't been deceived, but there was some cleverness involved. Yet, there was sincerity as well, so I remain confused.

The second thing that stood out to me, and the one I want to blog about today is what Elder Ringwood said about those who do service outside of their callings.

I honor those who selflessly serve each week in wards and branches around the world by going above and beyond in fulfilling callings. But callings come and go. Even more impressive to me are the many who without formal callings find ways to consistently serve and lift others. One brother shows up early for church to set up chairs and stays after to straighten up the chapel. One sister purposely selects a seat near a blind sister in her ward not only so she can greet her but also so she can sing the hymns loudly enough that the blind sister can hear the words and sing along. If you look closely in your ward or branch, you will find examples like these.

Faithful servants like these often go without worldly recognition. They frequently do the little things that just need doing, whether other people notice them or not. I imagine that these people sometimes wonder whether they're really doing any good at all or if anyone notices or cares how much work they put into doing it.

Right now, I want to share my testimony that God sees and appreciates every good thing we do, even if no one else does. Small acts of service aren't small to God. He cares about the love and thoughtfulness that motivated the acts, rather than the magnitude of the acts themselves.

However, I don't mean to underestimate the effects of those small acts of service. Though many of those who benefit from that service may not notice it or fully appreciate it, some will, and those people will be touched by the thoughtfulness and diligence of those who did that service, and they may be inspired to perform acts of service as well. And even if nobody (besides God) notices the service, the benefits that service provides is real. The beneficiaries may not be perceptive enough to notice it, but the service that good, anonymous people do for them does have a positive impact on their lives.

I think that most people that do good don't get the thanks and recognition they deserve, and I know it can be discouraging to them to think that no one notices them and that they're not really making a difference. But they are, we are, all making a difference, and I promise that there's at least one person who notices that. Elder Ringwood spoke of serving with a diligent and faithful missionary companion who wasn't recognized as such by the other missionaries, perhaps partly because he had never held a position in missionary leadership, as most missionaries eventually do. But as Elder Ringwood got to know this missionary, he wanted to let everyone know how faithful and diligent missionary was.

I shared with my mission president my desire to correct this misunderstanding. His response was, “Heavenly Father knows this young man is a successful missionary, and so do I.” He added, “And now you know too, so who else really matters?”

The truth is that it doesn't matter whether anyone on Earth notices the good we do, as long as one person in Heaven does. God knows about the service you do, even when others don't, and He's grateful for it, even when others aren't. You may not get any thanks or recognition from the people you serve, but you will receive thanks and recognition from Almighty God. No act and no person go completely unnoticed. The world may never know your name, but I'm sure that God will call you by name when He personally thanks you for all the good you have done.

I'll Keep Trying

I did not blog on the day before yesterday. There is a blog post that was posted on the day before yesterday, but that's because it was posted after midnight the night before. If that post counted for the day before yesterday, then it didn't count for the day before that. Either way you look at it, if I'm truly being honest with myself, I missed a day.

Now, normally, missing a day of blogging isn't a terrible thing. I don't write in my journal every night, and that doesn't matter too terribly much, so why should it bother me that I missed a day of blogging? Partly, the reason I'm bothered by missing a day is that I had made a commitment to blog daily. I had promised God that I would blog every day. Also, until recently, it's a commitment that I had managed to keep.

Keeping commitments is important to me, but perseverance is not my strong suit. I could have imagined me going a month or two blogging every day, but I never thought I'd be able to blog every day for several months, let alone a year or two. Keeping this blog going is something that I'm proud of, and I was especially proud of being able to say that, except for a few days when I literally could not have blogged, I had never missed a day.

But now I have. I've missed at least one day of blogging. I've failed to keep the commitment. Naturally, I don't feel really great about that. But thankfully, God, in His infinite mercy, made a way for us to reforge broken covenants and repent of having fallen short.

Usually, that way is by partaking of the Sacrament. When we partake of the Sacrament, we renew every covenant we've made with God, or at least every sacred covenant we made as part of an ordinance. My blogging commitment, and the commitments we make to each other, are even easier to remake. I can remake my blogging commitment by deciding to make a renewed effort to blog every day, which I already did.

Sometimes, when a person fails to keep a commitment or to do what they know they should, there's a temptation to give up. For a moment, I was slightly tempted to believe that I don't have to blog every day because blogging isn't all that important. Besides, I can no longer say that I've blogged every day since early February two years ago. I'm never going to get that back. Why bother to continue?

Because it's important. At least, it is to me. And missing one day is not a good reason to miss another. You know what they say about falling off horses. The same goes for failing to blog, or breaking any other commitment or commandment. Most of us do our best to do what we promise to do, but even with the best of intentions, we sometimes fall short. When that happens, we don't just give up completely; we keep trying. I am going to keep trying to keep my commitment to blog daily, no matter how many days I miss between now and whenever I stop blogging.

Why I Should Blog in the Morning

I really ought to blog in the mornings. I had a chance to blog yesterday morning, but I was lazy and missed my opportunity. Part of my problem is that I assumed I'd get another chance after church, but due to a few technical difficulties, that didn't happen. I guess the bottom line is that you never know which chance will be your last chance, so if you're going to do something, you had better do it while you still can.

But an even better reason for me to blog in the morning is to get my day off to a good start. When I started this blog, I had the idea that when I blogged, I'd be sharing spiritual insights that I could continue to ponder throughout the day. This would help me have the Spirit with me, which would have a host of other benefits. This has worked in the past, and I enjoyed working out the answers to spiritual questions raised in one blog post and answered in another. Blogging used to be my opportunity to connect to the Spirit. Now, I'm afraid I just see it as a chore.

Perhaps the shift from beneficial exercise to time-consuming chore started when I started to grow casual about blogging. When I wasn't able to (or was too lazy to) blog in the morning, I told myself that that was alright because I could just blog later. I didn't give my blog the respect it deserves, and many of us, myself included, are probably making the same mistake with scripture study. How often, when we read the scriptures, do we just read them, without considering the messages God is trying to share with us and without tapping into the spiritual blessings that scripture study can bring. Reading the scriptures without thinking about them is probably no more beneficial than reading any other book, and blogging just because I have to blog every day probably isn't any more beneficial than any other form of typing practice. I want to get more out of my blog than simply knowing where each letter's keys are, and you deserve interesting and insightful blog posts, not just apologies for my blog posts being lame and late.

During this month, I'm going to put a renewed effort into blogging early and well. I'm going to recenter my mind on spiritual matters and share thoughts that are actually worth sharing. I'm going to have spiritual insights, record them, and share them, so we can all benefit from them, including myself. I benefit from this blog more than any of you probably do, and that's lucky for me because I really need the blessings that come from blogging. This blog is important to me. I think it's time that I proved that importance by giving my blog first-thing-in-the-morning priority.