The Tale of Two Handouts

A short time ago, I had an opportunity to perform two acts of charity back-to-back, but the two acts, though similar in nature, were far different in context and result. The first act of charity was to give some money to someone who hadn't asked for it, but whom I knew and felt indebted to, and who had just experienced some unexpected and financially-detrimental bad luck. The second act of charity was to give a much smaller amount of money to a stranger who had asked for it, and whom I suspected hadn't needed it quite as badly as he said he had. After the first act of charity, I felt like a good Christian and a good friend. After the second act, I felt like a sucker.

I think that the main difference between these two acts, or at least, the difference that had the greatest impact on my feelings, was my willingness. The first act of charity, I performed because I wanted to. The second act of charity, I performed because I was asked to. Often, I do good things of my own volition, and I feel good, and just as often, if not more often, I do good things because someone asks me to, and I frequently feel weak.

Of course, this aversion to providing asked-for help does not apply when I am helping someone I feel very close to. When a good friend or close family member asks me for help, I am usually more than happy to provide it. Perhaps this was part of the reason I felt good about the first act and bad about the second. I was friends with the first recipient, but I was a stranger to the second.

Granted, a lack of familiarity isn't a good reason to withhold aid. Jesus famously counselled His followers to bless strangers. We should do so. I just sometimes worry that those strangers who ask for help may be abusing our charity.

The first person I gave money to had a very real and obvious financial need. I was certain he wasn't going to misspend the money, but was going to use it to help offset his recent misfortune. Of the second person's financial plans, I was less certain. He claimed that he needed the money for transportation, and I wish I had watched him more closely, to see if he actually used it for that, but I don't think he did. Perhaps I shouldn't be so judgemental, but I would rather be sure that my charitable funds are going toward worthwhile endeavors.

At times, I feel like I give too much in general, in both time and money, but the amount of money was not a factor this time. The second act of charity cost me less than the first one had, but I felt better about the first act than I did about the second. There are many factors that contributed to my satisfaction, or lack thereof, at the end of those two acts, but I don't think monetary quantity was one of them.

Upon further review, I don't think my willingness to give away the money played the biggest role in determining how I felt afterwards. I have given less-than-willing service before and felt fully satisfied by the end of the service. Perhaps my level of satisfaction is based mostly upon the recipient, but I don't know why that might be. Perhaps it's because I'd rather help trusted friends than unknown beggars, though that sounds rather selfish of me. I don't fully understand why I felt so differently about those two acts of charity, but I do understand that there were several differences that each might have had an influence on how I felt about the two handouts.