I've found myself wrestling with some pretty deep concepts lately, and most of them are interconnected in ways that makes them difficult to blog about. I wonder about personal freedom in the face of social influences. I worry about trust in the face of dishonesty and deception. I anguish over the spiritual importance of making the right decisions and the difficulty of determining what the right choices are. I have more questions than answers, I have more concerns than questions, and I'm not sure how to find the answers to my questions and concerns. I suppose I could pray about it, but I doubt my ability to correctly interpret any answer that comes. I wish I understood these things well enough to blog about them, or at least well enough to have meaningful questions to ponder, but all I really have right now is a vague dissatisfaction with life and a non-optimistic desire to learn more about it.
I still feel like I can trust God enough to trust in His plan and have faith that everything is going to make sense eventually. I just wish it all made more sense in the here and now.
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When BJ was on his mission, he became intensely interested in the meaning of wisdom. He fasted and prayed and studied. Eventually the Spirit taught him that wisdom was doing what was needful right now. Are you following the spirit to do what is needful right now? If you are, then like casting off worry, you can cast off the concerns and ennui and let yourself feel good about the day, yourself, and your future. If you aren't sure, then open your heart to the Spirit and ask - what should I be doing right now? Then follow your prompting. My best to you. --AVH
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