Justification vs Forgiving Ourselves

We're supposed to let go of past sins. We are supposed to forgive everyone, including ourselves. When we make a wrong choice, we shouldn't dwell on it and let it drag us down. Rather, we should put it behind us and move forward. But on the other hand, we aren't supposed to rationalize our sins as being "no big deal." We can't just sin and say "Well, that's okay," and forget it. We need to repent. Once we've repented and been forgiven by God, then we can forgive ourselves and stop worrying about it, but how can we know if we've repented enough? Where's the line between justifying our behavior and forgiving ourselves?

Sadly, I wasn't able to find much doctrine on this topic this morning. Too many of the references to Justification refer to us being justified by God. So we'll be going off of my own thoughts today. Hopefully, I'll stumble onto some gospel truth.

I think the difference starts with what, exactly, is being forgiven or justified. I'm sure we've heard the phrase "Hate the sin, but love the sinner." Though "hate" is a strong word to use, I think this may be applied to us as well. Maybe we can love ourselves enough to forgive ourselves without trying to justify our behavior. Maybe we can acknowledge that we did something wrong without believing that we're terrible people for doing it. Yes, it was a bad thing to do, and we're sorry, and we're going to try very hard to not do it again, but we don't have to beat ourselves up over it.

Repentance isn't a matter of paying off a debt (unless I'm wrong and it is). Repentance isn't punishment by which we suffer the penalty for our sins. If it were, it'd be a lot more painful. Repentance means change. D&C 58:43 says "By this ye may know if a man repenteth of his sins—behold, he will confess them and forsake them." An essential element of repentance is to stop doing the sin you're repenting of. The idea isn't to justify the sins of the past, but to make sure we don't repeat them.

If we a a sin in our past, but we commit ourselves to leave it in the past, confessing our sin to God and asking His forgiveness, then, I believe, we can forgive ourselves without risking justifying our sins.

But what of the persistent sins? The ones that keep coming back, even though we try to forsake them? The bad habits and addictions? It's hard to leave those in the past, and it's to commit not to repeat the offense when we know how difficult it'll be to actually stop. So what then? Can we forgive ourselves for those sins as long as we're trying to repent of them, or do we actually need to overcome those sins before we forgive ourselves for them?

The purpose of self-forgiveness (or at least one of them) is (probably) to help us have inner peace and contentment. God doesn't want us to be miserable - Satan does. God wouldn't want us to dwell on past sins unless it was for our own good. As Alma wisely taught his son, Corianton, "And now, my son, I desire that ye should let these things trouble you no more, and only let your sins trouble you, with that trouble which shall bring you down unto repentance." If we're already repenting of our sins, we don't need to continue to feel badly about them, but if we need help repenting, maybe we do. I've been told that guilt is a God-sent emotion used to encourage us to repent. We shouldn't dull ourselves to that guilt if we're not repenting. But if we are repenting, or at least trying to, those feelings of guilt should go away naturally.

However, the guilt we felt might be mingled with or replaced by feelings of shame, which are caused by Satan to make us think that, because we have sinned, we're no good. We should try to learn the difference between feeling guilt and feeling shame, and we should learn what it means to repent and try to do it. Once we're repenting of our sins and feel that God is forgiving us, then we may be totally justified in forgiving ourselves.