The next Conference talk is Let's Not Take the Wrong Way by Claudio D. Zivic. At the very beginning of his talk, he shared an anecdote that I promptly forgot about because he immediately launched into another story.
Our five dear children play the piano, thanks to the motivation of my wife! When the teacher arrived at our home, our son Adrián would run and hide in order to skip his lesson. But one day something marvelous occurred! He began to love music so much that he continued practicing on his own.
If we could reach that point in the process of our conversion, it would be marvelous. It would be wonderful to have a desire deep in our hearts to keep the commandments without anyone constantly reminding us and to have a firm conviction that if we follow the right path, we will have the blessings promised in the scriptures.
I have not reached that point just yet. I need frequent reminders and promptings to keep me on the straight and narrow path, and even with those helps, I sometimes make bad decisions. I think that the purpose of commandments isn't to control our actions as much as it is to change our hearts. When we keep God's commandments, we become more loving. When we love more, we have a greater desire to do good (and thus keep the commandments that tell us to do good). Eventually, our natures can change, and we'll someday reach the point where we keep the commandments because we want to the kinds of things we're commanded to do. Then, doing good will stop being an obligation that God is making us do before we can receive special blessings, but something we want to do just because we want to do them (and the promised blessings are a perk).
I'd love to reach that point in my conversion. Right now, I see keeping commandments as a way I can get on God's good side so He'll give me the blessings I feel I need. It's not a great motivation. I'd rather be the kind of person that does good just for the sake of doing good. And I think that's the kind of person God would want me to be anyway. Another thing to work on, I guess. In the meantime, I'll take whatever form of motivation I can get.
1 comment:
It has helped me to look at my righteousness as a progression. It helps me to have less anxiety when I screw things up. "Maybe I'm not perfect now, but I'm working on it", instead of, "Why am I not perfect now?" is really much better for your psyche.
Someday, you will look back and ask, was I really that person so long ago?
The important thing is that you are doing the work of salvation, and that can take time, and a lot of trial and error.
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