Watching Gender-Specific Meetings

A week ago today, I watched the General Women's Meeting with my family for Family Home Evening. Now, some people might think it's not fitting for a guy like me to listen to talks given specifically for women, just as some people think it's not fitting for women to listen to talks meant for men, but Elder Dallin H. Oaks blew that concept out of the water in the first talk of this Conference's Priesthood Session, in which he told us (if I recall correctly) that he hopes some women will listen to his talk (which was really good, if slightly confusing. I'll probably blog about it later).

Anyhow, I like listening to the General Women's Meeting because the talks in that meeting are just as good as the talks in General Conference, but with a more specific focus. I feel the spirit more strongly in that meeting than in some sessions of Conference, and there's a deep feeling of unity and love among the sisters. Also, the music is really incredible.





These women know their identity as daughters of God. They draw comfort from the unity they feel as sisters. They know of their great worth as individuals. In fact, Individual Worth is one of the Young Women Values about which all Young Women in our church learn. Some women in the church are jealous of the power, authority, and responsibilities of the Priesthood. I'm jealous of THIS. I'm jealous that all the women in the church know that they are princesses, special, unique, and beautiful as flowers in the eyes of the loving God who created them. I'm jealous of the way these women must have felt as they sang this powerful, soul-stirring message of the beautiful nature of who they are.

In Priesthood meetings, we never talk about this. We never talk about how beautiful it is that God loves us and that we can be there for each other (unless one of us needs help moving furniture). It's not manly. It's not manly to feel the need to feel like you're part of a circle of love. Yes, we talk about brotherhood and unity, but we talk about it in terms of being a mighty army of strong, courageous men. We never talk about the fact that this brotherhood makes us a family. We talk about putting our shoulders to the wheel to push the work forward, never about providing a shoulder for a heartbroken loved one to cry on. We're too macho for all that touchy-feely stuff.

Except that I'm not. I loved hearing this song, not just for the amazing sound layering of the three age sections, but also for the sense of belonging and family ties it makes me feel toward my family, other members of this church, and my Heavenly Father. These women know their identity and their place in God's plan. I want that. I want to feel like I'm part of His eternal family. I want to feel like I'm part of a group of people who love and care for each other. I want to learn how to comfort others and I want to know people I can turn to when I need someone to comfort me. These women are lucky to be part of such a strong group of sisters.

Now, I don't want to blur gender lines with what I'm about to say, but I think that all people, both men and women, have both masculine and feminine traits. Some men have the hearts of women, and some women have the strength of men. I'm guessing that may be part of the reason why some people become confused about what gender they should be and what gender they're attracted to. They see traits in themselves and others that don't match the gender stereotypes and they mistake personal complexity for some kind of genetic accident. "Men don't have such strong feelings, therefore, I must be a woman." I know that I'm not a woman and that I was never meant to be one. I am a man, but I also I have a few feminine traits, such as a love for beautiful music and messages about individual worth.

I think that there's a reason that both the General Women's Meeting and the Priesthood Session of General Conference are made available to everyone, even though they're specifically made for women and men, respectively. I think those meetings speak mostly toward people with feminine or masculine traits, respectively, and though men are usually more masculine and women are usually more feminine, we each have within us a little bit of both. So, I invite my fellow men to listen to the General Women's Meeting and I invite women to listen to the Priesthood Session of General Conference. Eternal, non-gender-specific truths are taught in both of those meetings, and there might just be something in there that speaks to you. I've certainly heard at least one message in that meeting that spoke pretty strongly to me.