Sunday, November 3, 2019

I'm on My Side

I keep a journal, but I sometimes wonder whether it does more harm than good. I sometimes vent my frustrations, voice my anxieties, and criticize myself in my journal. All in all, I'm too negative in my journal, but saying so kind of reinforces my point. I'm too hard on myself, and I sometimes beat myself up over being too hard on myself. It's a vicious cycle, and I hope to break it by actively being on my own side.

I want to treat myself the same way I would treat a struggling friend. I want to support myself and encourage myself. I want to congratulate myself for mini victories and help myself dust myself off from mini failures. I want to have my own back and help myself succeed.

Of course, it sounds weird to say that, and I worry that thinking of my "self" as a separate entity from myself might lead to mental problems later on, but my negativity isn't doing my psyche any favors either, and if telling myself "I believe in you" works, even a little bit, I don't care how crazy it sounds.

I've been my own worst enemy for far too long. Now I'm going to try to be my own best friend.

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