This might be a challenging talk for me. I'm supposed to talk about Compassion, within the context of the Law of Consecration, and that in itself seems easy enough. Many people are suffering; our hearts (and generous contributions) should go out to them.
But it'll be hard for me to talk about compassion when I, personally, have felt deprived of it. There have been times when I felt desperate for people to care how I felt, and their responses made it seem like they didn't. To quote myself from earlier this year (and I hope you'll pardon the "unacceptable" language I had used), "When a person is already upset enough to use crude language, the last thing they need at that moment is a(n effing) lecture about it." I needed compassion. I need compassion. And if I can't get it from those who are members of this church, then I thank God that I can still get it from people who aren't.
But I can't say any of that over the pulpit.
For once, I need to make sure I don't put too much of my own thoughts and feelings into a talk. I'm better off focusing more on the Conference Talk I'm supposed to reference and perhaps a personal anecdote about a bicycle seat. I'm better off making this the most boring, emotionless talk I can make it, because if I actually think about how the subject of "compassion" makes me feel, I might find myself speaking with a volume and/or vocabulary that is unconducive to the spirit of reverence.
I should be writing an outline for my talk, but I'm having a hard time focusing on it because I'm upset about how little compassion I get when I act out when I'm upset.
I need to stop thinking about myself. I need to focus on those who are less fortunate than me. Yes, I need compassion, but they need compassion more, and so I need to make sure I don't make my talk all about me.
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