Practical Repentance - the Problem, the Plan, and the Promise

I'm falling behind in blogging about Conference. Even if I blogged about a Conference talk tonight, which I'm not doing, I'd still be falling a few days behind schedule.

But at least I know why.

I'm not blogging about a Conference talk tonight because it's late and I'm tired. I no longer have the mental energy needed to listen to a Conference talk and expect to gain any spiritual insights from it. I'm not in a good state for blogging about Conference, or even blogging at all, really.

So, how did I get here, and what can I do about it? Well, it got late and I got tired because I was doing other things first, things which, in hindsight, should have been bumped to later, since the don't require as much mental energy and aren't actually high priorities in the first place. In the future, I should endeavor to blog earlier, perhaps starting at 10, or immediately after Family Prayer, instead of leaving it to 11, only 1 hour before my deadline. Better yet, blogging during the day would yield the best results, assuming that my scheduling works out.

So, I know the problem, and I have a plan. Now what I should to is commit myself to execute my plan. Tomorrow, I will begin blogging earlier than I began blogging today. Tomorrow, I will begin blogging by 10pm, at the latest, and I will begin by watching and reading the next Conference talk and concurrently consulting my notes. I don't intend to make promises beyond tomorrow because, if there's one thing this blog has taught me, it's that open-ended promises can get out of hand. However, I can promise to blog earlier tomorrow, and I can declare my intention to make a habit of beginning to blog by 10pm at the latest regularly. That's not a promise; it's a goal.

And this, I have learned, is repentance, practical repentance. This isn't just "I did badly; I'll try do better next time." This is considering exactly what went wrong or is going wrong, what can be done different, and what promises I can both willing to make and able to keep. This is identifying a problem, formulating a plan, and making a promise.

This works. I have gained practical experience with this method of repentance with regards to a matter to personal to relate in detail. Suffice it to say that, since I applied practical repentance to the problem, I have been doing fairly well.

I don't want to go back to the way I used to repent. I used to just beat myself up for failing and try to bring myself to promise to "try harder," without any clear idea of what I was actually going to do differently. This time, I have an actionable plan specifically designed to counteract the specific problem I've run into, and I've willingly made a commitment to follow through on my plan. It's a simple, yet sufficiently sophisticated system, and so far, it has gotten me results.

I like practical repentance, and I plan (though don't quite promise) to continue implementing it going forward.

Actions, Attitudes, Motives, and Methods

I recently watched a video about anti-heroes, and and the video essayist attempted to identify heroes, villains, and anti-heroes by dividing them into quadrants based on the axes of actions by attitudes and motives by methods. It got complicated pretty quickly, and I'm sure I didn't catch all of it, but the general jist with which I walked away from the video was: the more of those things are heroic, the more heroic one is.

Good people generally have good attitudes most of the time, but if a person isn't performing good actions, it really doesn't matter how good their attitudes are. And even if their actions are objectively good somehow, it's still important for them to make sure that their motives are good and that their methods are at least acceptable.

It's a lot to keep track of, but thankfully, as long as we're trying to be good, a lot of this happens subconsciously. We'll naturally want to do the right thing, the right way, for the right reason, with the right attitude, so long as we're continually striving to do what's right. But even so, deliberate effort can help. I know that I've occasionally struggled with one or more of these four elements, but now that I've identified them, perhaps I'll be able to identify which one I most need to work on next. Organic growth is possible, but deliberate development is better.

I usually try to make sure that my actions are good, but now I'll try to make sure that my attitude, motives, and methods are good, too.

A Good Day

Today was a good day. It was tiring, but I was able to do good and productive things, and I was able to help other people. I am very ready for this day to be over and to get some much-needed rest, but I'm glad that I was able to get my work done and help other people as well. It was tring, and almost stressful, but it was still a very good day.

Help others if/when you can, and let others help you. Helping others is tiring, but usually richly rewarding, and it's well worth doing, when possible.

Talking with Friends, Talking to God

I am fortunate to have people I can talk to. I have people in my life with whom I can have long, deep conversations on virtually any topic under the sun. I'm lucky. Not everyone has people they can really open up to. At least, not in person.

One of the fortunate things about God's omniscience is that we don't have to feel embarrassed about anything we want to tell Him. He already knows. And He still loves us and wants to talk with us whenever we want to, even if the conversation tends to seem fairly one-sided.

Through prayer, we can all talk to our loving Heavenly Father about literally anything. He may not talk much, at least not loudly or clearly, but He's a great listener, and He always wants to hear whatever we have to say.

I'm lucky that I have people I can talk to on earth, and we're all blessed to have someone we can talk to in heaven.

What We Can and Can't Control

President Jan E. Newman's talk, Teaching in the Savior's Way, touches on an important point that goes far beyond the concept of teaching. President Newman said that parents can't force their children to gain testimonies any more than we can force seeds to grow. All we can do is try to foster a nurturing environment.

Similarly, there are countless other things that lie either inside or outside of our control, and it's important to learn the difference. We can and should take control of and responsibility for the things that lie within our control, but at the same time, we should learn to accept the fact that some things are outside of our control, and we shouldn't spend too much time or energy trying to control them. It's like the Serenity Prayer says, "God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference."

We all need the wisdom to know what does and does not lie within our spheres of influence, and we need to learn to accept the things we cannot forcibly change. It's important for us to do what we can, but we also shouldn't frustrate ourselves or burn ourselves out trying to do more than we can. We can only do so much. God expects us to do what we can, but no more, so it's important for us to figure out what we can and can't control.

Faith Talk - If Ye Are Prepared...

Despite the days I spent preparing for this talk, I didn't really feel prepared when the time came to give it. That was probably mostly because I didn't actually devote that much time to preparing my talk, nor to practicing it. I didn't have a clear idea of exactly what I was going to say, nor did I have plans for what to include or leave out, based on the amount of time I had. Because of my lack of preparation, and particularly because I didn't feel prepared, I felt nervous, and during and after my talk, I felt certain that I had done a terrible job. Thankfully, no one said anything negative about my talk, and I learned some valuable lessons from it. Next time I have an opportunity to give a talk, I'll hopefully remember to start preparing my talk sooner, to make more specific plans about what I might include or cut, and to take more time to practice giving the talk. Doing so would have made me far less nervous about giving this talk, and it would have helped me fill the time I had been given. According to the feedback I've gotten, my talk was alright, but I know that if I had prepared better, my talk could have been much better than I felt it was.

Faith Talk - Final Preparations

I have a plan. It took me all day to get around to actually compiling it, but I've put all my most critical notes into a concise document that should be easy to follow. Tomorrow morning, I'll print it up, so I'll have a good, simple outline to follow. Time, energy, and motivation permitting, I might do a few practice runs to see how long my talk is in terms of time and whether I'll need to adjust it to make good use of the time I've been allotted. In the meantime, I've made my preparations. All that's left to do now is move forward and act in faith that God will bless my efforts and help me give a good talk tomorrow.

Faith Talk - Why Faith Is Great

Sometime early on in my talk, Iwant to talk about why faith is so great. Of course, we could take President Nelson's word for it that "Faith in Jesus Christ is the greatest power available to us in this life" (italics in the original), but it would be great if I could back that up with anything concrete and specific. Thankfully, President Nelson has me covered.

Faith in Jesus Christ is the foundation of all belief and the conduit of divine power.

Everything good in life—every potential blessing of eternal significance—begins with faith.

“Deny not the power of God,” the prophet Moroni declared, “for he worketh by power, according to the faith of the children of men.” It is our faith that unlocks the power of God in our lives.

Through your faith, Jesus Christ will increase your ability to move the mountains in your life, even though your personal challenges may loom as large as Mount Everest.

Your mountains may be loneliness, doubt, illness, or other personal problems. Your mountains will vary, and yet the answer to each of your challenges is to increase your faith.

He paid the compensatory price and provided the power for you to move every mountain you will ever face. You obtain that power with your faith, trust, and willingness to follow Him.

Miracles come according to your faith in the Lord.

Only your unbelief will keep God from blessing you with miracles to move the mountains in your life.

The Savior is never closer to you than when you are facing or climbing a mountain with faith.

The mountains in our lives do not always move how or when we would like. But our faith will always propel us forward. Faith always increases our access to godly power.

Your growing faith in Him will move mountains—not the mountains of rock that beautify the earth but the mountains of misery in your lives. Your flourishing faith will help you turn challenges into unparalleled growth and opportunity.

Naturally, I can't include all of these quotes in my talk. I'll have to narrow it down to a few key quotes, and even then, I may have to shorten them. I definitely want to make sure I talk about how every blessing begins with faith, how faith always increases our access to godly power, and how only our unbelief could stop God from blessing us with the miracles to move our mountains. With those key points, and a brief summary of President Nelson's 5 suggestions, I think I'll have the topic fairly well covered.

Faith Talk - Our Ability

"Through your faith, Jesus Christ will increase your ability to move the mountains in your life, even though your personal challenges may loom as large as Mount Everest." - President Nelson

I don't know if I'll be able to squeeze this into my talk or whether I can justify making my entire talk about this one concept, but in this sentence, there's a concept that I especially love. "Jesus Christ will increase your ability to move the mountains in your life." Jesus isn't moving these mountains for us; He is increasing our ability to move mountains. He isn't making the burden lighter; He's making us stronger. He isn't removing the obstacles in our path; He's making us better at avoiding and/or overcoming them.

Personally, I think that's awesome. Granted, given the option, I would rather not have challenges to have to overcome, but given that that's not an option, I would rather succeed because Jesus is making me more capable than because He's been doing all the work for me. Maybe it's just my pride talking, but I like the idea of being capable of moving mountains. I would like to overcome my challenges, preferably by my own (admittedly increased) power. I am at war, and I don't want Jesus to fight all my battles for me; I want to be strong enough to win. Luckily for me, it sounds like that's what's happening.

Faith can move mountains, but it's not that if we have faith in Jesus, He'll move our mountains. It's that, if we have faith in Him, we will give us all the power we need to move them ourselves.

Faith Talk - Five Suggestions

No talk about President Nelson's talk would be complete without going over the five suggestions he gave us to help us increase our faith.

First, study.

Second, choose to believe in Jesus Christ.

Third, act in faith.

Fourth, partake of sacred ordinances worthily.

And fifth, ask your Heavenly Father, in the name of Jesus Christ, for help.

Unfortunately, most of these suggestions weren't given much more detail than that. The first suggestion was given a few paragraphs, and the second suggestion got one full paragraph, but the other three got only a handful of additional sentences, one additional sentence, or nothing more than what I quoted above. I may have to do some interpreting. Or maybe, being pressed for time, I should be content to do little more than list them.

I want to leave my listeners with some actionable advice by the end of my talk. I want them to leave my talk knowing not only how powerful faith is but also how we can get more of it. These five suggestion are prophetically offered advice to help us develop our faith. When he said "My dear brothers and sisters, my call to you this Easter morning is to start today to increase your faith," this is what he was asking us to do. I cannot talk about President Nelson's talk and not at least list the five faith-building suggestions he gave us.

Faith Talk - The Greatest Power

Faith in Jesus Christ is the greatest power available to us in this life. All things are possible to them that believe. - President Russell M. Nelson

I try to take notice when Prophets and Apostles use superlatives. We have many powers available to us in this life. The powers to speak and move, for example. The powers to create and raise children. The power to make our own decisions via our moral agency. And yet, only own power available to us in this life can be "the greatest."

This may be what I focus on in my talk. I'd like to talk about why faith is the greatest power available to us in this life, how big of a deal that is, how we can tap into that power, and perhaps how we can use this power to tap into God's power.

Faith is the tool we use to gain access to real-life divine magic, and if that's not great, I don't know what is! I love to play a paladin in role-playing games, but the power of faith isn't just a fantasy; it's real, and it's the greatest power we can obtain in this life. Through faith, we can receive revelation, resist evil, and even obtain and perform miracles. Faith is, literally, miraculously powerful.

I would love to talk about how faith is the greatest power available to us in this life, what's so great about it, and how we can avail ourselves of it.

Faith Talk - The Law of Faith

“Deny not the power of God,” the prophet Moroni declared, “for he worketh by power, according to the faith of the children of men.” It is our faith that unlocks the power of God in our lives.

Only your unbelief will keep God from blessing you with miracles to move the mountains in your life.

Faith always increases our access to godly power.

Those were all quotes taken from President Nelson's recent talk on faith, italics in the originals.

I'm starting to thing that faith isn't so much a "Trust me; I'll help you" thing and more of a Fundamental Force of the Universe thing. Maybe God isn't asking us to have faith in Him before He blesses us with miracles. Maybe He's asking us to have faith in Him because that's how miracles work. Maybe it's not so much that God chooses not to bless people with miracles because they don't have faith, but more that God can't bless people with miracles unless they have faith.

I know that there are some grand, cosmic laws that predate and even place some restrictions on God's Godhood. One of these is the Law of Justice. Even God Himself cannot rob Justice without ceasing to be God. Maybe something similar is true for Faith. It could be that there is a "Law of Faith" that determines how much power God can exercise in our lives, based on our faith. If it's true that our unbelief can keep God from blessing us, and it is our faith that unlocks the power of God in our lives, that implies that God's power would be locked or kept back without our faith, which would sound really weird if I wasn't already familiar with how the Law of Justice places restrictions and limitations on God's power.

Some say that God is all-powerful, but I believe that God's power (to forgive sin and to perform miracles on our behalf, for example) is limited by the Law of Justice and, perhaps, by the Law of Faith as well.

Faith Talk - Initial Thoughts

Next week, I'm giving a short talk on President Nelson's recent talk about faith. There's so much good stuff in that talk, it's going to be hard to narrowing it down to just the points that will fit into a 5-10 minute talk.

As someone who has struggled with my faith recently, I'm almost considering talking about that, but the kind of people that that message might help aren't the kind of people who regularly attend church meetings, so maybe not.

As someone who's a fan of fantasy RPGs, I might talk about how some RPGs use "Faith" as a statistical characteristic, similar to Strength or Intelligence, and then rehash President Nelson's advice for how we can "level up our Faith stat." 

But honestly, I don't need to incorporate fantasy magic to make a talk on that topic work. Faith has real power. It may make sense to go over what President Nelson said about the real power of faith and how we can tap into it.

Then again, I don't want to just repeat his talk, as good as it was. I want to add something of merit to what he said, maybe elaborate on a point he made or at least distill it down to a core message, like really emphasizing the power of faith.

President Nelson said many amazing things about faith. My challenge now is to pick only a handful of those amazing things to focus on.

Dehumanization

In the song Cruella DeVil, Cruella is described as an "inhuman beast," which, strictly speaking, isn't completely accurate. I hold that all human beings are and remain human, no matter how far they depart from their "humanity."

I think that there is a great danger to dehumanizing people. When we fail to see others as being human, we run run the risk of regarding them as being unworthy of sympathy and consideration. I'll grant you that it's difficult to have sympathy for anyone with plans to kill more than 100 puppies, and certainly we shouldn't allow such plans to move forward, but we also shouldn't forget that all human beings are children of God, no matter what they've done or plan to do. Jesus Christ's Atonement is incredibly powerful. Any repentant human being can be cleansed of any sin, no matter how heinous, and any human being who is still alive has a chance to choose to repent.

I don't think we should fully give up on anyone. No matter what a person does, they remain human, and they retain the chance to repent and be saved. Instead of dehumanizing others, we should rey to have some sympathy for them, and we should remember that, no matter who they are or what they've done, they are still a child of God.

Practicing my Purpose

Today, I practiced part of the purpose of my existence. I had learned that a friend's fence hand been damaged, and I'm at least somewhat handy with tools, so I volunteered to help him fix it. It felt good to be able to lend him a hand and my experience, and I'm glad we were able to get the fence fixed to everyone's satisfaction. But more especially at the moment, I'm glad that I learned, fairly early on in my life, that at least part of my purpose is to help others. That helps motivate me to lend a hand as often as I do, and it helps me feel less "put upon" when called upon to do so. I'm happy to help. After all, as I sometimes say, that's what I'm here for. I exist, at least partly, to help others. So I do.

The Folly of Seeking Wisdom and the Benefits of Blind Faith

Tonight, we read and listened to a talk by Elder Ronald A. Rasband titled Be Not Troubled, in which he gave the following warning:

When we are tentative in our commitments to the Lord, when we stray from His path leading to life eternal, when we question or doubt our significance in His divine design, when we allow fear to open the door to all its companions—discouragement, anger, frustration, disappointment—the Spirit leaves us, and we are without the Lord. If you know what that is like, you know it is not a good place to be.

I have recently found myself is such a place, mostly by trying to be wise. I thought that faith shouldn't be blind. I thought that our religious beliefs and practices should be carefully examined. I thought that we should try to be certain that we are on the right path and not leave anything up to chance, or, in other words, up to faith.

But I've found some flaws in that way of thinking. First, I'm rather blind, whether I choose to have faith or not. I can either choose to follow the guidance of those who claim to know where they're going, or I can try to find my own way in life, despite having to admit to myself that I have absolutely no clue what path to follow, if not the one presented by the church.

Second, examining my religious beliefs and practices may not be a worthwhile pursuit. Every action has costs, effects, and side effects. If I choose to buy a hamburger, that choice will have costs in time, energy, and money (though much more of the latter than the former), and it will have the effects of procuring a hamburger and of not procuring other types of food, like a sandwich or a pizza. If I choose to buy a hamburger, that choice will have costs in time, energy, and money and will have a variety of effects, both desirable and undesirable.

The same is true of examining my religious beliefs and practices. Subjecting my faith and the church's teachings to such scrutiny will require time and energy (though, admittedly, not much money), and for what? So I can poke holes in Mormon theology (holes which might be patched by doctrines I don't currently know), and let "The Good Ship Zion" sink out from under me, so I can tread water, having no clue where to turn next? The effects of devaluing my faith include a good deal of distress, discouragement, despair, and depression. I'd rather not subject myself to that. Living an unexamined life may be foolish, but so is subjecting myself to such mental and emotional stress when there are no clear gains to be made by it. The effects of examining my religious beliefs and practices are not entirely desirable and are likely not worth the cost of the effort of doing so.

And third, even if I did choose to forsake my blind and foolish faith, I'm not likely to land on any certain truths by doing so. Like Descartes before me, I have to admit that I can't always trust even the perceptions of my own senses. I've had dreams that felt quite real before. I can't be completely certain that I'm not in one now. If I'm looking for absolute, 100% certain truths, I have no idea where I'd find them or how I'd even recognize them. Since I can't trust my own imperfect senses or my own imperfect reasoning, how could I possibly recognize what is and is not perfectly true? I cannot eliminate uncertainty by turning to myself for answers, and since my own imperfect judgment is the only tool I have to determine who is and is not trustworthy, I cannot eliminate uncertainty by turning to anyone else for answers, because I can't be 100% certain that I can trust them and the answers they give me. There will always be uncertainty. All I can do is choose whether I have more faith in my own wisdom or in that and the truthfulness of others.

Basically, I've been letting my doubts get the better of me, and I'm tired of going to the effort of second-guessing everything and having so little actual truth or wisdom to show for it. In terms of my own mental and emotional well-being, it might be best for me to take the church and its teachings on faith and to try to build my wisdom up from there. I've tried to figure things out on my own, and I've got nothing. Stumbling in the dark is frustrating, especially to one who has the light of the gospel to follow. Even if it turns out to be a will-o'-the-wisp, at least it gives me a sense of direction, something to hope for, and a certain amount of peace.

I'm reminded of a quote by P.T. Barnum from The Greatest Showman. When asked if he felt any shame in peddling shows and experiences that were ultimately fake, he asked if the smiles of those who attended his shows seemed fake. Ultimately, he seemed to be arguing that the effects of his shows were real and positive, even if the shows themselves weren't. Similarly, I have no idea whether or not the church is true, and I have no idea how I could know with 100% certainty, especially when I can't fully trust the senses through which I attempt to feel and hear the voice of the Spirit. However, that doesn't matter. I don't need to know if my faith is well-founded. I just need to know what effects that faith has in my life. Even if God isn't real, the effects of my belief in Him are, and those effects are more desirable than not.

Believing in God (and, I suppose, in the LDS church) gives me something to hold on to, something to hope for, something to believe. I don't care if it's true or not (especially since I was never going to find absolute truth anyway). My faith helps me avoid "discouragement, anger, frustration, [and] disappointment," and that effect is worth the cost of maintaining even a blind and foolish faith.

Unbreakable Wills

I recently watched a video about will-power and bout how our wills cannot be overpowered. When things happen to us, we can choose how we respond to them, at least mentally. No matter what is going on in our lives, we can practice virtues such as patience, temperance, and endurance. "In every hardship," the video says, "there is an opportunity to claim your virtues, virtues that no force on Earth can take away, virtues that make you, as Marcus Aurelius concluded, 'A fighter in the noblest fight, one who cannot be overpowered.'"

I love the fact that, no matter what is going on around us, we still have our agency, and we can still think, and often act, as we choose to. We can claim and practice our virtues, no matter how we're tempted. Our wills can be unbreakable, so long as we continue to choose to let our wills remain unbroken.

Granted, this is all easier said than done. Even if we, theoretically, can always resist temptation, temptation can be very difficult to resist, with our personal habits making resistance either harder or easier, depending on what habits we have. Still, it's always possible to retain control of ourselves, especially when we have God's help in doing so. If we call upon God, He can helps us exercise our will-power, no matter who or what threatens to overpower us. With God on our side, and with our own unbreakable wills, we cannot be overpowered.

The Diligence of a Sloth

This morning, I was talking to my friend about diligence and laziness. I told him that I often needed to get to work first thing in the morning, because, if I don't, I usually end up wasting a lot of time being lazy. But my friend said that knowing about that tendency and accounting for it is diligent, reminding me that some virtues can be born of vices. We work to overcome our weaknesses, and when we succeed, they can become strengths. I am naturally lazy, but as I strive to overcome my laziness, I deliberately act with diligence, and I may ultimately make a habit of being diligent, perhaps so much that I become a diligent person more than a lazy one.

I have many vices, but as I diligently strive to overcome them, I can turn those vices into virtues.

The Drill Instructor

In her Saturday Morning Session General Conference talk, Sister Joy D. Jones shared a story of a friend of hers who had joined the military during the war with Vietnam. Her friend spoke of how grueling his training was and how inhumane his drill instructor seemed. Yet, that training paid off in a critical moment, and Sister Jones' friend's life was probably saved by his difficult training and tough drill instructor.

I suppose that explains why God is sometimes tough on us. He knows that we need good training in order to prevail in the conflicts of life, and especially in the war against evil. Without a little bit of tough love from our loving Heavenly Father, we probably wouldn't have the strength we need in order to succeed against our temporal and eternal challenges. I once had an Utterly Ridiculous and Admittedly Untrue Theory that the adversary was something like a tough personal trainer. Now I think that maybe God is.

I'm not a huge fan of hardship, even in the relative safety of a training camp, but I suppose that's what we signed up for when we came to Earth. And, so long as I'm bound to face hardship, I suppose I'd rather get it from someone who has good intentions rather than from someone who's trying to destroy me. I'm glad that God acts like a drill instructor sometimes. We need the training that such tough instruction provides. Sister Jones said that it's better to sweat in a safe learning environment than to bleed on the battlefields of life. If it saves any bloodshed, on my part and/or my Savior's, then I'm willing to endure some harsh training at the hands of my Drill Instructor.

Faith and Perfect Knowledge

Alma 32:21 And now as I said concerning faith—faith is not to have a perfect knowledge of things; therefore if ye have faith ye hope for things which are not seen, which are true.

Alma had a lot to say about faith and knowledge and comparing the gospel to a seed, and frankly, I'm not sure I fully understand him. In verse 21, he says that "faith is not to have a perfect knowledge of things," a point that he reiterates in verse 26, but he also makes some points that seem to contradict each other when it comes to trying the word.

In verses 33 and 34, he suggests that our knowledge can become perfect after a simple experiment:

33 And now, behold, because ye have tried the experiment, and planted the seed, and it swelleth and sprouteth, and beginneth to grow, ye must needs know that the seed is good.

34 And now, behold, is your knowledge perfect? Yea, your knowledge is perfect in that thing, and your faith is dormant; and this because you know, for ye know that the word hath swelled your souls, and ye also know that it hath sprouted up, that your understanding doth begin to be enlightened, and your mind doth begin to expand.

Yet, even then, he still says that our knowledge isn't perfect:

35 O then, is not this real? I say unto you, Yea, because it is light; and whatsoever is light, is good, because it is discernible, therefore ye must know that it is good; and now behold, after ye have tasted this light is your knowledge perfect?

36 Behold I say unto you, Nay; neither must ye lay aside your faith, for ye have only exercised your faith to plant the seed that ye might try the experiment to know if the seed was good.

So, faith is not to have a perfect knowledge of things, and even after we've tried experiments and gained a perfect knowledge (at least in some things), we still need to not lay aside our faith.

Maybe it's just too late at night and my brain is too tired to fully understand this, but it seems to me that perfect, 100% certain knowledge is hard to come by and that a certain element of faith will always be required. We can conduct experiments, and we can gain some perfect knowledge from those experiments, but there's still going to be a lot of stuff that we have to take on faith.

Alma 32:21 And now as I said concerning faith—faith is not to have a perfect knowledge of things; therefore if ye have faith ye hope for things which are not seen, which are true.

The trouble is, since faith is not to have a perfect knowledge of things, we can't always have a perfect knowledge of what's true or not. That's kind of what I was talking about last night. We can have faith, and we can certainly feel sure and act as though we're sure, but unless we have a perfect knowledge, we can't know for certain whether that the thing we have faith in is true. Without that perfect knowledge, we have to admit that there's a possibility that we're wrong.

That's where the faith comes in. God often asks us to walk by faith, even without a perfect knowledge. He asks us to act with confidence, even when we're uncertain. When we walk by faith, miracles can happen, The thing is, without a certain knowledge, we can't be sure what's going to happen, and maybe that's what gives God the opportunity to surprise us.

Look, I'm not going to pretend I fully understand the concepts of faith and knowledge. In fact, I think it would be arrogant to claim to have a perfect understanding of any subject. We think we know things, but how much do we actually know? I think God allows there to be gaps in our knowledge, partly because there's too much knowledge to be gained in one lifetime, and partly so we can learn to trust in Him and have faith in Him, even when our knowledge isn't perfect.

On Faith and the Risk of Being Wrong

In her Saturday Morning Session General Conference talk, Sister Joy D. Jones said something that got shared around on social media almost immediately: "Eternity is the wrong thing to be wrong about." Yet, this sort of attitude almost caused me to lose my faith.

Let's say that, by your circumstances, you were forced to gamble, but you could choose which bets you were willing to take.Betting a few pennies on a coin toss is no big deal, because the stakes are so low. It hardly matters that the odds of winning are low, because it hardly matters whether you win or lose. However, the higher the stakes go, the less likely you are to be willing to take that risk. You wouldn't risk your life savings on a coin toss. The higher the stakes, the better your odds have to be to be worth taking the risk.

Now, let's say that the stakes are basically infinite. Let's say that you had to bet your life, even your soul, on something. Wouldn't you want to be absolutely certain that your were going to win that bet?

Yet, with faith, we're not completely sure. Yes, we can act like we're sure. We can be confident. But we can't really know that our faith isn't misplaced. We have faith in God and Jesus Christ, and that faith can give us confidence, perhaps even enough confidence to stake our souls on the truthfulness of the church, but Muslims, Jews, Hindus, and Christians of other faiths also do the same. Anyone with faith, in any religion, believes wholeheartedly that their path is the correct one, but only one of those groups is actually right, if any of them are. What makes us so sure that our faith isn't misleading us, especially when we have to acknowledge that theirs is?

I don't have a good solution to this problem. I don't know why I should follow the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints instead of, say, the Catholic church, or some Protestant church. I don't know why I should trust President Nelson more than I trust the Pope. Yet, this is the hand I've been dealt. Now I need to place my bets on whether I've been dealt a winning hand or whether I might be better off drawing different cards from the deck.

Thankfully, I've learned that my faith doesn't have to be in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints or in any other church. I don't have to bet my soul on which people are inspired by God and which people are misled and/or misleading others. I don't have to put my faith in any person or organization on the face of the earth. My faith is in Jesus Christ.

I am a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, mostly because I was born into this church, but also because this church helps me learn about Jesus Christ. I don't know for certain that the church is true, but I have faith that, as long as I try to follow the teachings of Jesus Christ, His Atonement can take care of the rest.

Eternity is the wrong thing to be wrong about, but as long as we're relying on faith rather than on certain knowledge, we have to accept the risk that we may be wrong. Thankfully, I feel certain that betting on Jesus Christ is a fairly safe bet.

I don't know for certain that the church is true. I don't know for certain that Jesus Christ is my Savior. But I believe that He is, and I have faith that, if I follow the teachings of Jesus Christ, everything will work out alright, even if it turns out I was wrong about some things. I'm willing to bet my soul that I'm not wrong to put my faith in Jesus Christ.

Oddly Encouraging

A while back, I had a pretty bad day. I made mistakes, I got angry at myself, and I behaved badly. It wasn't one of my prouder moments. But still, despite all that, that day was oddly encouraging.

Satan attacks our weak points. He always tries to capitalize on the vices that we are most vulnerable to. My tendency to get frustrated and stressed out is one of my weaknesses, but it isn't usually my greatest weakness. There's another weakness I struggle with, and Satan attacks that one more often than any other, but when he attacked my frustration the other day, I realized that I was doing something right. If my impatience and self-hatred were my greatest weakness at that point, that meant that my other weakness, which I have been working on reducing, wasn't my biggest weakness at that time. That meant that I was making progress. Strangely, the fact that Satan was trying (and, unfortunately, succeeding) to make me angry was oddly encouraging.

I had another oddly encouraging day today. Today was another bad day, but for a different reason, yet I managed not to get mad at myself or anyone else. I didn't get stressed out or frustrated. I simply dealt with the issue, brushed myself off, and moved on. And the fact that I was able to do that today is oddly encouraging. I made some mistakes today, but I managed not to get angry at myself or anyone else about it.

One day, I hope to have both of these weaknesses under such good control that Satan attacks me in a way that I don't expect, exposing a third weakness, because that'll be oddly satisfying, too. It would be nice to have my two greatest weaknesses covered so well that Satan has to resort to attacking what is currently my third-greatest weakness, then my fourth, and so on. I ultimately hope that I will one day have all of my weak points covered perfectly, and thus be completely immune to temptation. In the meantime, I'm happy to keep focusing on my two biggest weaknesses until they aren't my two biggest weaknesses anymore, and I'll consider it oddly encouraging when I manage to make a noticeable amount of progress on either one of them.

On Requiring Assistance

As I was putting away leftovers and loading the dishwasher, the family dog showed great interest in my work. I informed her that I did not require assistance, but as I thought about that phase, I realized that I do require a fair amount of assistance, just not in loading the dishwasher or putting away leftovers. I require assistance from many people. I know that I, like many people, would not get far without help. And more especially, I require assistance from God. His blessings are of eternal importance to me.

So, it's not completely accurate to say that I don't require assistance, just because I don't require the assistance of a dog. Of course I require assistance from God and other people. We all do.

Blinded by Lesser Lights

I just heard a story about a nighttime blackout in Los Angeles. Those whose houselights and streetlights just went out also went out(side), and were startled by what they saw. Stars, countless and brilliant, shining beautifully in the dark night sky. We don't see that many stars very often, not in cities. Our electric lights create a sort of "light pollution" that makes it difficult to see the stars. Ironically, the dim lights of our own creation blind us to many of the brilliant lights God has made.

Naturally, it's easy to draw the analogy to other kinds of light, like knowledge and wisdom. The world is full of wise and intelligent people, and modern science has made some miraculous progress, but it's important not to forget that God is more wise and intelligent than any of us, and that His works are more miraculous than any of ours. We should be careful to not be so blinded by our own lights that we can no longer fully appreciate the light that God offers us.

Granted, I don't think it's wise for us to shut off our lights completely. God still wants us to think for ourselves rather than relying on Him to do all our thinking for us. But it's still wise to acknowledge that His light, when available, is far brighter than ours. We still need to use our own lights most of the time and to seek to brighten them, but no matter how bright our own lights get, God's light will still be brighter. So, when God's light is available, whether it be through prophets, the scriptures, or personal revelation, it would be foolish to blind ourselves to His light by relying solely on our own.

Turning Missteps Into Stepping Stones

In the Saturday Morning session in this last General Conference, Elder Dieter F. Uchtdorf said some encouraging words about how the Atonement can change our views about the mistakes we make.

Because of Jesus Christ, our failures do not have to define us. They can refine us.

Like a musician rehearsing scales, we can see our missteps, flaws, and sins as opportunities for greater self-awareness, deeper and more honest love for others, and refinement through repentance.

If we repent, mistakes do not disqualify us. They are part of our progress.

We are all infants compared to the beings of glory and grandeur we are designed to become. No mortal being advances from crawling to walking to running without frequent stumbles, bumps, and bruises. That is how we learn.

I find this all very encouraging. Like any human, I make a lot of mistakes, and I tend to beat myself up about them to an unhealthy degree. Just the other day, I made mistake after mistake, and I felt less than worthless. But that's not the way God wants anyone to feel. We all have infinite worth, despite our failings. The mistakes we make do not have to define us or hold us back. Instead, we can treat them as opportunities to learn. Our mistakes can teach us compassion for our fellow beings, and as we strive to learn how we made those mistakes and how we might avoid them, they can teach us wisdom, too. If we respond appropriately to them, our mistakes can help us rather than hinder us.

I am grateful for the Atonement and for the knowledge that my mistakes don't need to hold me back. I'm grateful that, thanks to the Atonement, my mistakes can help me learn and grow and even become more Christlike. Naturally, I'll still try to avoid making mistakes, but I'll also try to stop beating myself up about them when I make them. My mistakes don't have to disqualify me from reaching the Celestial Kingdom. Without repentance, any sin would be a deal-breaker, but with repentance, no sin has to be. We can repent, receive forgiveness, learn from our mistakes, and grow to be more like Jesus Christ. Our experiences with sin can be just that: experiences, perhaps even the same kinds of experiences we came to Earth to gain.

Our mistakes don't automatically doom us all to hell. Instead, thanks to the Atonement, our missteps can become stepping stones toward heaven.

Clearing Out Debris

In his first talk this General Conference, President Russell M. Nelson spoke of the ongoing Salt Lake City Temple renovation and how it was necessary to clear out old debris and infrastructure. He then related this process to us and spoke of how it's necessary to clear out the old debris in our lives.

The gospel of Jesus Christ is a gospel of repentance. Because of the Savior's Atonement, His gospel provides an invitation to keep changing, growing, and becoming more pure. It is a gospel of hope, or healing, and of progress. Thus, the gospel is a message of joy. Our spirits rejoice with every small step forward we take.

Naturally, making such progress isn't easy, and it isn't painless. Some of us have grown rather attached to our debris, or it to us. Like weeds, sins and imperfections can be difficult and painful to remove. Yet, once the debris has been removed, we can build something much better in its place: our ideal selves. Just as the Salt Lake Temple will be greatly improved by the renovations going on there, we too can be greatly improved by the changes the gospel of Jesus Christ works in our lives. We can become better than we currently are, and we and our spirits will be much happier when we do.

Clearing out our debris through repentance is a necessary step in becoming better, happier, more fully realized people. In the short term, it will be painful, messy, and difficult, but in the long term, it will help us gain an infinite amount of joy.

The Prophetic Power of Faith

My favorite talk of the day was President Nelson's talk at the close of the Sunday Morning session, wherein he spoke about faith and the power of faith to move our spiritual mountains. President Nelson said "it is our faith that unlocks the power of God in our lives," and "only your unbelief will keep God from blessing you with miracles to move the mountains in your life."

These truths encourage me to want to increase my faith in Jesus Christ. I have a mountain or two I would like to have moved. It was eye-opening to hear that the only roadblock stopping God from blessing me with miracles was my own lack of faith. Because of this talk, I strongly want to increase my faith in Jesus Christ. President Nelson said that "faith in Jesus Christ is the greatest power available to us in this life." I want to tap into that power.

I want to unlock the power of God in my life, and now I know that the key to unlock that power is faith.

Every Small Step

In the very first message of this General Conference, our Prophet, President Russel M. Nelson said, "Our spirits rejoice with every small step forward we take."

This is good news for me, someone who worries too much that I'm accomplishing too little. I'm grateful that we can make gradual, eternal progress and that every small step forward counts. The effort of a single day doesn't seem work counting, but each day adds up, and if you compound that over years, decades, or an eternities, those countless small steps can add up to incredible progress.

I'm grateful for the reminder that every tiny amount of progress is still an amount of progress and that every small step forward is a reason to rejoice.

One Bad Day

I really screwed up today, and I was about to blog about how badly I screwed up and how miserable I felt about it, but for two things. One, I don't want to rehash the events of the day again, and two, just before clicking the New Post link, I saw the title of my previous blog post, "An Infinite Amount of Joy."

Today is not worth dwelling on. Heck, today is not even worth remembering. Today was one bad day out of the past and future eternity of my existence. Heck, by some metrics, this wasn't even the worst day of my mortal life so far. Today was one bad day, but I have had and will have countless better ones.

So, I'm not going to worry about today. Not anymore. I have apologized. I will repent. And then I'll move on and forget all about today (until I'm inevitably reminded of it next year). Today was only one bad day, so I'm not going to dwell on it. I have an eternity of joy ahead of me. I'm not going to dampen it by dwelling on the misery of today.

An Infinite Amount of Joy

One thing that comforts me about the suffering that Christ went through (and, to a lesser extent, what little suffering I go through) is that that suffering opens the way to an infinite amount of joy. We can think of happiness as a product of intensity X time. Fun activities provide a good deal of happiness intensity, but only for a short while, while more rewarding activities may grant a less intense happiness for a longer period of time. Righteousness, forgiveness, and redemption are all greatly rewarding. Qualifying for the Celestial Kingdom, and helping us qualify for it, will give us, and Jesus, a grant deal of happiness that will last for an eternity. Such an intense kind of happiness, multiplied by an infinite amount of time, equals an infinite amount of joy. And such a reward is probably worth a relatively small amount or duration of suffering.