This morning, I spent quite some time trying to figure out whether I needed something (or at least thought I needed it) or merely wanted it. Specifically, I was thinking about encouragement.
I want to be encouraged. I want to be told "you can do this." I want to be reminded what I'm capable of. I want people to believe in me to the point where I start to believe in myself.
But do I need that? Do I need people to believe in me? Will I fail if they don't? And if I do fail, is that someone else's fault for not encouraging me, or is it actually my responsibility to do my best, regardless of the actions of others?
Of course I bear the full responsibility for my successes and failures. Others may help or hinder me, but in the end, it's all on me. Sure, encouragement would be nice, but I shouldn't rely on it. I don't need encouragement.
At least, I shouldn't. I shouldn't need encouragement. I shouldn't need help. I should be able to succeed on my own with no help from anyone, But what if I can't? What if my own abilities aren't enough, and I need a little encouragement to give me the extra push I need to succeed? Is it possible to literally need encouragement? Or is this whole blog post just me trying to rationalize "needing" something because I want it?
I'm not sure anymore. Actually, I was never sure to begin with. I don't know whether I really need encouragement or whether I just want to think I need encouragement because I actually merely want it. It's tricky. I certainly want encouragement, but I'm not at all sure whether I actually need it or not.
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