"Mere Entertainment"

I feel like I should move forward with my talking about General Conference talks. Now that I know a way to increase my faith and trust, I'm going to implement it faithfully, perhaps religiously, as much as I can, for as long as it takes to see whether it's working. In the meantime, there are other topics of great importance that I should write about. The trouble is that I don't really have any thoughts about the next few talks that I feel I can share here. Maybe I should just skip those talks? Or maybe I should talk about something else for now.

You've heard of EFY, I'm sure. EFY stands for Especially For Youth. It's some kind of Mormon Youth Camp, I think. I've never actually been there. All I really know is that they produce CDs with gospel-themed music, and that that music can really help if you're trying to focus your mind on spiritual matters. I'm sure this must have helped me a lot on my mission, without my even realizing it. Now, I've felt my faith waning, and perhaps that's because I'm spending so much less time thinking about spiritual things. My entertainment has been far from gospel-related. This morning, I was feeling especially distracted, and I knew the EFY would help me refocus.

But even refocussing wasn't enough. I still couldn't think of what to share or how to share it, so I'm sharing a message about EFY instead.

President Boyd K. Packer shared a message called Worthy Music, Worthy Thoughts, wherein he said that music can direct thoughts in the mind like water in an irrigation channel. Uplifting music and, if I may broaden the topic, entertainment can lead us closer to God. Other forms of entertainment can cause us to plateau in our spiritual development, or even backslide, depending on what we watch, read, and listen to.

The talk whose message I've been struggling to share is Elder David A. Bednar's talk about the Law of Chastity. It's a difficult topic, and he uses some very bold and specific language, making it difficult to draw any message from his talk than exactly the message he intended to share. However, there's a paragraph in his talk in which he says, "Such relations are not merely a curiosity to be explored, an appetite to be satisfied, or a type of recreation or entertainment to be pursued selfishly."

What some people may see as "harmless entertainment" can actually be devastating and destructive to the soul. There's so much violence, sex, and bad language in the media and in the world around us. Many people are being affected by it without even realizing it, just as I was affected by EFY without my knowledge.

As with many things, entertainment and media can be a good thing or a bad thing, depending on how, how much, and when it's used. Use it wisely, and it can be an uplifting and inspiring influence for good. Use it unwisely, and it can hold you back and pull you down. According to Elder Bednar, the same is true about physical intimacy. If it's used at the right time, with the right person, for the right purpose, it can be a very positive thing. Used in any other way, it can break hearts and stain souls.

I suppose the moral of this message, then, is to pay attention to what's going on around you. What do you watch, read, listen to, and think about when you get a spare moment? Where are those forms of entertainment taking you? Do they bring you closer to God or pull you farther away? Are they making you stronger or weaker? Better or worse? (And if you think 'neither,' you may want to check again.)

Satan is very good at taking something dangerous and making it look harmless. Sometimes, only God knows how dangerous something is, while everyone else thinks it's fine. Like tea. I don't know why tea is against the Word of Wisdom, but God does. Perhaps we ought to take His word on it, trust Him, and not drink it. Maybe we'll find out later what God knew all along. And same-sex marriage. Many people think there's nothing wrong with it. Personally, I would be okay with letting it be a personal choice, meaning that individuals would be allowed to participate in it, but other individuals shouldn't be forced to recognize it. But I take my political advice from someone who's a LOT smarter than I am. If He says it's not okay... I'm just going to have to trust Him on that.

Maybe I trust God more than I thought.

Life is full of choices. Some choices are really hard to make, some are seemingly inconsequential. God knows what's best for us, and He advises us to the extent that we listen to Him. If we follow His advice, even in the small matters of what music we should listen to, He can help us make the choices that will bring us closer to Him.

Obedience Brings Blessings - Truth and Light

I learned that you can search for General Conference talks by topic. I searched this last Conference for a message on Trust, and I was lead to President Monson's talk, Obedience Brings Blessings. I decided to study that talk this morning, hoping that part of his message would give me directions on how I can increase my faith and trust. In a way, it did.

He that keepeth [God’s] commandments receiveth truth and light, until he is glorified in truth and knoweth all things. D&C 93:28  

Truth and light sound like they're closely related to faith and testimony.

There is no need for you or for me, in this enlightened age when the fulness of the gospel has been restored, to sail uncharted seas or to travel unmarked roads in search of truth. A loving Heavenly Father has plotted our course and provided an unfailing guide—even obedience. A knowledge of truth and the answers to our greatest questions come to us as we are obedient to the commandments of God. 

Sometimes, I have to remember that the commandments aren't a set of meaningless rules that God would curse us if we disobeyed, but rather, they're guidelines and sign posts that warn us of the consequences of certain actions and behaviors.

If there's a cliff, a park ranger will put up a fence and a sign saying "Warning! Cliff! Do not cross!" It's not that he puts up that fence anywhere he wants to, and pushes us off a cliff if we ignore it. God isn't inventing excuses to punish us, He's looking out for ways to protect us (mostly from our own stupidity).

We learn obedience throughout our lives. Beginning when we are very young, those responsible for our care set forth guidelines and rules to ensure our safety. Life would be simpler for all of us if we would obey such rules completely. Many of us, however, learn through experience the wisdom of being obedient. 

Here, President Monson told a story of he and a friend lighting a fire in a field when he was too young to use matches.

Danny and I learned several difficult but important lessons that day—not the least of which was the importance of obedience.

There are rules and laws to help ensure our physical safety. Likewise, the Lord has provided guidelines and commandments to help ensure our spiritual safety so that we might successfully navigate this often-treacherous mortal existence and return eventually to our Heavenly Father. 

 President closed his talk be quoting his predecessor, and listing many blessings that come to Latter-Day Saints through obedience.

Said President Gordon B. Hinckley, “The happiness of the Latter-day Saints, the peace of the Latter-day Saints, the progress of the Latter-day Saints, the prosperity of the Latter-day Saints, and the eternal salvation and exaltation of this people lie in walking in obedience to the counsels of … God.” 

Obedience is a hallmark of prophets; it has provided strength and knowledge to them throughout the ages. It is essential for us to realize that we, as well, are entitled to this source of strength and knowledge. It is readily available to each of us today as we obey God’s commandments. 

The knowledge which we seek, the answers for which we yearn, and the strength which we desire today to meet the challenges of a complex and changing world can be ours when we willingly obey the Lord’s commandments. I quote once again the words of the Lord: “He that keepeth [God’s] commandments receiveth truth and light, until he is glorified in truth and knoweth all things.”

Seems like the answers I'm looking for and the strength I hope to gain by receiving those answers can be gained only by obedience. It's a little bit of a catch-22, if I understand that phrase correctly. I want to increase my faith and trust in God so I can be more motivated to be obedient. I can strengthen my faith through obedience to the commandment, but obedience is an act of faith. You need to have at least some of one in order to gain more of the other. Right now, I'm a little bit worried that I'm dangerously low on both. Maybe there are little commandments, like daily prayer and scripture study, that I can obey to help me gain the faith and strength of will-power to obey the more difficult ones. I should pray to ask God to remind me to be more regular with those. I bet it would help at least some.

Trust Talk

This morning, I read President Marion G. Romney's October 1977 talk, "Trust in the Lord." In it, he shared several stories about people who put their trust in God and found that God is trustworthy. Such examples included David, the shepherd boy who slew Goliath, and the two-thousand stripling warriors of the Book of Mormon.

Then he shared a story that President Thomas S. Monson shared back when he was "Elder" Thomas S. Monson.

In the mission presidents’ seminar last June, Elder Thomas S. Monson told of the great faith and trust in the Lord of Randall Ellsworth, a missionary who, in Brother Monson’s words, “was crushed under that devastating earthquake in Guatemala, pinned for, I think, twelve hours. Found himself totally paralyzed from the waist down. Kidney functions, not present. No hope to ever walk again. … 

“He was flown to … Maryland and … interviewed in the hospital by a television reporter. The television reporter said to him, ‘The doctors say you will not walk again. What do you think, Elder Ellsworth?’ He said, ‘I’ll not only walk again, but I have a call from a prophet to serve a mission in Guatemala, and I shall go back to Guatemala and finish that mission. ’ … 

“He exercised twice the [requirement] outlined by the doctors. He exerted his faith. He received a blessing from the priesthood and his recovery was miraculous. It astounded the physicians and the specialists. He began to be able to stand on his feet. Then he could walk with crutches, and then the doctors said to him, ‘You may return to the mission field if the Church will permit you to go.’ He went. We sent him to Guatemala. He returned to the land to which he had been called, to the people whom he dearly loved. 

“While there he was walking, proselyting a full schedule with a cane in each hand. [His mission president] looked at him and said, ‘Elder Ellsworth, with the faith that you have, why don’t you throw those canes away and walk?’ And Elder Ellsworth said, ‘If you have that kind of faith in me [take the canes].’” He put down the canes and has never used them since. (Mission Presidents’ Training Seminar, June 1977, tape recording, Missionary Department.)

As inspiring as those stories are and were, I can't help thinking that it doesn't always work like that. Not everyone gets healed or delivered, notwithstanding their trust in God. I know that God always blesses those that put their trust in Him, but those blessings don't always come immediately, or even in this life. I've heard that "faith in God includes faith in His timing," and I know that a lot of people struggle with that. I guess I struggle with it, too, in a way.

I need to learn how to trust God and His perspective. I need to learn that as long as I trust God, things will work out somehow. I need to learn how to increase my faith. Apparently this "Trust talk" idea didn't work out as well as I had hoped.

Trust Scriptures

Good morning! I'm in another rush today, so I'm just gonna make this a quick one. Here's my plan: I'll find a couple of scriptures that talk about Trust in God (I already have one or two in mind), then I'll quote them, probably comment on them, and hopefully learn from them. Sound good? Let's get started!

2 Nephi 4:34
O Lord, I have trusted in thee, and I will trust in thee forever. I will not put my trust in the arm of flesh; for I know that cursed is he that putteth his trust in the arm of flesh. Yea, cursed is he that putteth his trust in man or maketh flesh his arm.

Well, I already don't trust myself, so I guess I have a head start there.

Isaiah 12:2

Behold, God is my salvation; I will trust, and not be afraid: for the Lord JEHOVAH is my strength and my song; he also is become my salvation.

That's some faith! Also, it reminds me of a great song. =)

Psalm 18:2

The Lord is my rock, and my fortress, and my deliverer; my God, my strength, in whom I will trust; my buckler, and the horn of my salvation, and my high tower.

More amazing faith, and a few awesome analogies. I should should copy this down and use it for the caption for a picture I should draw using the descriptions in this verse.

I just did, and it looks AMAZING! I need to copy the image and post it on here somehow, but I don't have time now.

Now I need to, very quickly, post the two scriptures I was thinking of.

Alma 36:3
And now, O my son Helaman, behold, thou art in thy youth, and therefore, I beseech of thee that thou wilt hear my words and learn of me; for I do know that whosoever shall put their trust in God shall be supported in their trials, and their troubles, and their afflictions, and shall be lifted up at the last day.

Proverbs 3:5-6

5 Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding.
6 In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.

And with that, I must go. I am running late.

Study by Topic According to Needs

I don't have much time this morning. I promised I'd be over to help with a yard sale by 7. I'll have to leave at 6:45 minutes, at the latest.

I think I need to work on my faith, and by faith, I mean trust in God.  I need to remember that He is real, that He does speak through His prophets, and that He doesn't lie. These last two days, I've posted bizarre, yet agreeable theories that I really wish were true (just because it'd make so much sense, or would be a lot nicer than the truth), but which I know are not true. God has spoken on these subjects. His word is final. I just need to accept that what He said is true.

I think I need to spend more time in the scriptures, and by scriptures, I mean General Conference talks (because the messages are often so much clearer in Conference talk than in written scriptures). We've been counseled to study by topic to have effective scripture study. So far, in my reading and blogging about this last Conference's talks, I've just been going down the list. And it's not that there's anything wrong with going down the list; the messages are still there and I'm still reading them, but am I getting the right message at the right time? What good will it do to read and write about the Law of Chastity when what I need is a message on Faith?

At least, I assume what I need is a message on faith. I feel less confident than I should be that what the prophets say and have said is true. I sometimes see it as good advice that would be helpful to follow rather than commandments of God that I'll be blessed by Him for obeying. Actually, I may even be forgetting that God is involved in this process at all. Wise people giving good advice, or Prophets receiving and repeating the word of God? I need to remember how important this is.

So, what kind of talk should I search for? What should I type into the search bar at LDS.org? Faith? Testimony? Trust? Trust might be a good one.

Okay, I just tried it and man, did that work! There are at least half a dozen General Conference talks that talk about Trust in God. Odds are at least one of them will say something that I really need to hear. At least one of them is going to help me increase my faith and trust.

And once I've solved this spiritual problem I've been struggling with, I'll go back to this most recent General Conference and keep going down the list.

Another Utterly Ridiculous and Admittedly Untrue Theory

I'm in a bit of a pickle right now. I don't really feel like sharing any thoughts from the next General Conference talk or the one after that, and there aren't any new Mormon Messages to share. I know that I have to find something to talk about, but I don't have any ideas.

Well, okay, I do have one idea, but there's no point in sharing it because multiple prophets have made it totally obvious that my idea is completely false. Oh, whatever, I'll share it anyway.

DISCLAIMER:

NOTHING WRITTEN BELOW THIS LINE IS TRUE.

DO NOT BELIEVE ANY OF IT.

Yeah, I did that mostly because I just wanted to play with the text. xD

Anyhow, here's my idea: What if Satan doesn't hate us? Actually, let's take it back a step farther. What if there was no Satan?

I'm sure there are some red flags going up in the minds of many of my readers. A phrase like "I am no devil, for there is none" may be coming to mind. Please bear in mind that I am NOT talking about the world we live in. I'm speaking about a hypothetical world in which Satan did not exist.

What would happen there? Would mortality still be a test? We'd still have our own fallen nature to wrestle against, but I wonder how much of our desires to do wrong are part of our fallen nature and how much Satan helps the process along. It's natural to be tempted to break the law of chastity, but how much easier would it be to keep that law if Satan suddenly stopped whispering suggestions into everyone's ears?

I think that if it wasn't for Satan and his host of tempting spirits, it would be a heck of a lot easier to choose the right; too easy, I think, to be a real test. I think that, in a way, we need Satan. I think that without him constantly fighting against us, we'd never gain the kind of spiritual strength our Heavenly Father wants us to have.

So, let's suppose, in some strange alternate universe, the council in heaven went off without a hitch. No one suggested any alternate plan; no one rebelled against Heavenly Father; no one got cast out to become the devil; thus, there would be no devil, and therefore, no real test. At least one of the purposes of mortality would have been frustrated if Satan hadn't stepped up.

Now, let's say, in this alternate universe, God knew Satan wasn't going to rebel, so He asked for TWO volunteers: one to be a tempter, so people would have to make a choice between right and wrong, and one to be a Savior, in case people choose wrong occasionally.

One of the spirits said: Here am I. Send me.

And another spirit said: Here am I. Send me.

And the Alternate Universe God said: Great. I'll send the first spirit to do this and the second spirit to do that. You go and get your team together and start creating the earth, and you go and get your team together and fill the new earth up with tempters, and I'll meet you two down there in the Garden of Eden so we can get this party started.

Now, the alternate universe Lucifer feels morally conflicted about his new job, because on the one hand, it's an essential part of the plan, but on the other hand, when he wins, his brothers and sisters lose. In that sense, he's like a defense attorney, defending someone he knows is guilty. He doesn't really want to let the criminal off the hook, but he's morally obligated to do his best anyway.

Best case scenario, alternate universe Lucifer tempts us to do something, we resist the temptation and he secretly pats us on the back and says, "Great job! You're getting stronger. Now, are you strong enough to resist THIS temptation? No? Well, don't feel too bad about it. It was a harder test. Keep working on it and we'll try again later."

Doesn't that sound a whole lot better than Satan being a miserable, hateful, damned being who is literally hell-bent on making everyone else miserable, too? I guess that's why I like this alternate universe scenario so much. I'd rather have Satan as a personal trainer than a mortal enemy, because, in a way, that means there's one more person pulling for me, even if it often seems like he's really working against me.

END DISCLAIMER:

I'M RETURNING TO REALITY NOW.

The sad part is that he really is working against me. We hear it over and over again. Satan is real. Satan is evil. He's trying to destroy you and the rest of the world. And the worst part is, he seems to be winning. There's just so much freakin' misery going on! I just wish, I don't know... I guess I just wish things were different.

If Satan's going to be such an active force in my life, I wish I could imagine him having my best interest at heart. Sure, he makes life difficult for me, but coaches make training difficult for their athletes because that's how athletes become great. Coaches don't want their athletes to fail the training drills ("Ha ha! My evil test beat you again!"), they want the athletes to improve ("Hey, no slacking off! I know you can do a lot better than that. Hustle up!").

The last time I fought against Satan and got a real energy drive from his opposition, it was because I wanted to prove him wrong. I wanted to beat him. I became his antagonist, just as he, unfortunately, is mine. I wanted to win. And I wanted him to lose. I was prideful, and, I think, a little angry. Both pride and anger are sins.

ANGRY FOUR-LETTER EXCLAMATION! Even when I FIGHT Satan, he wins! >=(

But if he is my enemy... Well, how am I supposed to deal with him? In war, you deal with enemies by killing them, or at least capturing them or forcing them to retreat. If I'm "at war" with Satan, what am I supposed to do?

I'm supposed to repel his attacks without becoming antagonistic toward him. Which would be a whole lot easier if he wasn't so antagonistic about me!

Maybe I could see him as a rival. In sports, you don't have to wish evil on a rival team. You don't have to call them names or try to get them injured. You just have to play hard and score more points on them than you let them score on you. It's possible to do that while playing fair and being courteous, even to the opponent team. Maybe I don't have to hate Satan. And maybe I don't need him to not hate me. Maybe I can train hard to try to defeat my rival without becoming as bitter as he is. Maybe Satan's antagonism can encourage me to play a tighter defense and put more hustle into scoring points for the Savior's team, even without him, Satan, secretly wanting for me to do well.

Still, you can hardly blame me for wanting one more friend and one fewer enemies. Battling Satan can be pretty difficult. I think I would feel a lot better about that guy if I could imagine that he's actually trying to help.

Alternate Origins - A Semi-New Creation Theory

This morning, I listened to the talk by Elder Stanley G. Ellis of the Seventy. He's the one who got choked up a few times while giving his talk, and when I really think about the message he shared, I can hardly blame him. What stuck with me the first time I heard this talk and what sticks with me now, is something he said toward the beginning of his talk.

Nothing is more basic to all of us, and our doctrine, than the truths of the first article of faith: “We believe in God, the Eternal Father, and in His Son, Jesus Christ, and in the Holy Ghost.” 

Further, He is our Heavenly Father, who knows us, loves us, and wants us to return to Him. Jesus is our Savior and Redeemer, who through the Atonement made it certain we will overcome death and live again and possible for us to be exalted and have eternal life. The Holy Ghost is our comforter, revelator, teacher, testifier, and guide.
(Italics in the Original) 

Think of it, brothers and sisters—we are not spiritual orphans! We are not alone.

It's sometimes hard to think of them as my Heavenly Father, my Savior, and my Comforter. They're all so big and important. I don't think there are any three beings in the universe that are anywhere near as important as those three are. Why would they notice me? The seminary answer is that they love me, but here's another question: How can the actions of one human being attract  the attention of the God of the whole universe? With so many other things going on in the world, how does He keep tabs on each individual person? I have a theory regarding a network of angels acting as Home Teachers, Bishops, Stake Presidents, Area Seventies, etcetera, in a long line that eventually ends with the Godhead at the head, but I think most people would tell me that that isn't true, that God watches over each of us personally, but I find that really hard to believe.

How could I be important enough for God to watch over me directly? Why would Christ pay for my sins and mistakes, knowing how often I'd keep making them? With so many other people in the world who need and deserve His comfort so much more than I do, why would the Holy Ghost still reach out to ease my self-inflicted pain?

It's a helpful, if abstract, thought that those three have infinite resources. They're omniscient, so They know everything, even the thoughts and feelings of the least-important human on earth. They're all-powerful, so I would guess They have the ability to warp time or do multiple things at once, which would allow Them to spend time on each individual person. And if They're filled with such tremendous love for everyone that all that work would be worth it to Them, I can, theoretically, imagine Them accomplishing what I think it would take a host of angels to do, but to put it lightly, a theory like that is a bit of a stretch.

It's much simpler to imagine that the universe smashed it together an infinite number of times until, randomly, we popped up and started wondering how we got here. And, feeling alone, we imagine some all-knowing, all-powerful, wise, loving "Heavenly Father" watching over us, just so at least one person knows what's going on, and hopefully He'll explain things to us when we meet Him. And people believe it because they want to believe it, because they'd rather have an imaginary friend than to feel so hopelessly alone.

But a thought just occurred to me that we can combine the two theories. If we have the universe smashing itself together an infinite number of times, theoretically anything is possible. What if, after the some-teen-hundred-millionth big bang, the universe randomly created an all-powerful god, who said to himself, "Hold on a second. We're not getting anywhere with all this randomly-smashing-everything-together. Let's build something, constructively." So He builds a nice world and puts people on it. He watches over them lovingly, like a father, and He helps them from time to time, letting them know they're not alone, but for the most part, He lets them make their own decisions, have their own ideas, learn from their own mistakes (or not learn - their choice).

So, even according to the big bang theory, it's possible that I live in a universe that was essentially created and governed by an all-knowing, all-powerful, wise, loving Father in Heaven, with both the ability and desire to watch over each of His creations personally.

And here's the kicker: Once that kind of being is created, the big bang cycle of destruction and random regeneration will cease. No all-powerful God would let random chance destroy them and everything they've created just so fate could randomly create something else out of the raw materials. Picture this: Let's say you spent a lifetime planting, watering, weeding, and nourishing a huge and beautiful garden. Can you imagine yourself ever saying, "Well, that was fun. Let's bring in a team of backhoes, tear up this whole garden, mulch everything together, and see what grows next"? Oh, and let's throw ourselves into the woodchipper, too, to see what the universe makes out of the little pieces of us (except then we wouldn't be around anymore to see it). Seriously, that would never happen.

So the bottom line is we probably do live in a universe where there's a God who created us, and who cares about each and every one of us individually, no matter how far-fetched that sounds. So, odds are, we're not as alone as we feel. And I'm not as hopeless or worthless as I sometimes feel. And someday, we'll meet that God who created us, face-to-face, and we'll know with absolute certainty that He's as real as we are. I find that somewhat comforting. But now I have to go to class.

Rejoice, the Lord is King!

Yesterday morning, when I was feeling terrible, it was partly this song that got me through it.





The Mormon Tabernacle Choir (along with the congregation) sang this hymn between the General Conference talk I most recently wrote about (the one by Elder Quentin L. Cook) and the one that I'm going to talk about next, possibly tomorrow. The version I embedded above is just the choir singing, though. It's less garbled.

There are two parts of this hymn that I'd like to write about. The first part is the first line and title of the song. The second part is later in the first verse.

Rejoice, the Lord is King!

At the time I heard this yesterday morning, I didn't feel much like rejoicing, but then Motab gave me a half-decent reason to rejoice: The Lord is King. And, thought I, waking up on the wrong side of the bed isn't going to change that. There are many troubles in life, and experiencing any of them, even experiencing all of them, isn't going the change the fact that God is ultimately in charge, and after "a small moment" (in the Eternal perspective), He'll set everything right again.

You may be having a bad day today. You may have a bad day several weeks from now. I'm pretty darn confident that you're going to have a bad day sometime, and when you do, I'd advise you to remember that the Lord is still King, and He's still just, merciful, and very loving. He'll fix it. Trust Him.

"for I do know that whosoever shall put their trust in God shall be supported in their trials, and their troubles, and their afflictions, and shall be lifted up at the last day." Alma 36: 3b

Mortals, give thanks and sing
And triumph evermore.

May I add a comma there? I really, really want to add a comma there, right after "sing," but that would really change its meaning. I guess I'll have to take it word for word. This is good advice. I was hoping that it was good advice with a powerful promise, but I guess it's just good advice.

You know, come to think of it, this advice is especially good when you're having a hard time. For example, when something gets stuck in your unusually stiff esophagus and you have to wait a long time for it to get pushed down, and your esophagus hurts for a couple of days afterwards and you can't eat solid food for a while. Look for the silver lining. And if you can't find it yet, look for something else you can be thankful for. My brother, Joe, was a champion! A selfless, exceptionally helpful champion, and I was really glad he was there for me. And I'm really grateful my Mom was there, too. I know that I can always rely on her to be a source of comfort and strength, no matter what happens. I'll never forget that moment after my wisdom teeth were removed. My teeth were yellow and my mouth was full of blood. I looked like a monster, and Mom's first impulse was to hug me. I felt something very special that day.

So, no matter what's going wrong in your life, remember that God is in control, think of something you can be thankful for, sign a hymn, and triumph. I know I threw a comma in there, but I firmly believe that this meaning works, too. Give thanks and sing, and triumph.

Clouds With Silver Linings Inside Out

There's an unfortunate side-affect of spiritual events - Satan does something extra evil to counter it.

On April 6, B.C. 1 (or some time close to it), Jesus Christ was born. It was the most joyous event in the history of the world. Angels sang to shepherds. A new star led wise men to Bethlehem. And then what happened? King Herod slaughtered hundreds, if not thousands, of innocent children.

33 years later, Jesus Christ atoned for our sins, making redemption possible for all mankind. Then He was scourged and crucified.

He rose again on Resurrection Sunday, promising resurrection to all who had ever lived. And in the following years, His true church was persecuted into extinction, and the world fell into darkness.

In the 1830's, Christ restored His church through Joseph Smith. But we've all heard about the hardships he and the other early saints suffered after that.

On a much smaller scale, last night each Ward Choir in the Stake sang their testimonies, and hundreds of people, some of them non-members, felt the Spirit for what may have been the first time. I felt the Spirit pretty strongly. Then, last night, I woke up at three in the morning and couldn't get back to sleep. Right now I feel tired and groggy, both hungry and nauseous, both too hot and too cold. I'd love to just take the day off, but I have two homework assignments due, a 30 point quiz, and an obligation to help my Dad (he already paid me for this week, otherwise I would call him and let him know I'm not feeling well this week).

Not to be consumed by self-pity or anything, but I wonder why God lets this kind of thing happen. Why does God let Satan tarnish good experiences? I'm sure there's a reason. There's a reason for everything God does. I just wish I knew what it was.

Maybe God's trying to teach us something. (Isn't that always the answer?) Maybe God's trying to show us how important those events are by showing us how important Satan feels it is to ruin them.

For example, when Joseph Smith went into the grove now called sacred, to ask God which church was true, Satan did everything he could to stop him. Which begs the question - why should he care? If I wondered off into the woods to ask God which church was true, I'm pretty sure Satan wouldn't try to stop me. At least, he would try that hard, that directly. Because, odds are, my prayer wouldn't change the world the way Joseph Smith's did.

Satan put a sour note on the end of my choir experience last night because he doesn't want it to affect my salvation. He wants me to focus on the problems I'm having right now (minor weariness and a stomachache), and completely forget that I felt the Spirit last night. He wants me to lie down and "take it easy" today rather than rising up to the challenge and, in the strength of the Lord, doing all that is required of me.

Satan wants me to get discouraged and quit. Well, sorry pal, that isn't not going to happen.

The Lord Looketh on the Heart

I'm teaching an interesting lesson in Elder's Quorum today. And by "interesting" I mean unusual and, in my case, difficult to understand. The lesson is Teachings of Presidents of the Church - Lorenzo Snow, Chapter 8: "Search Me, O God, and Know My Heart." If I'm reading it right, it seems to be about the fact that since the Lord sees our hearts, we should be careful to make sure our hearts are pure.

I'm not sure how I'm going to teach this lesson. It would make sense to start by reading a paragraph out of the manual (the one that tells how people sometimes carry written character references that don't match their true character), then start a discussion contrasting true character and reputation. Then we could talk about the way people are on the inside doesn't always match the way they seem on the outside. And the Lord sees both.

In a way, it doesn't matter what my friends think of me, or what my Bishop thinks, or my mom, or even myself. The only judge that matters, eternally, is God. Am I doing right by Him?

President Snow recommends self-reflection. "It would be well to examine ourselves, hold communion with ourselves in the secret closet, to ascertain how we stand... before the Lord, so that if need be we may renew our diligence and faithfulness, and increase our good works."

I know that I, personally, need to frequently renew my diligence and faithfulness, or they will waiver. Fortunately, I'll have an opportunity to do that in only a few hours, while I take the Sacrament. Today, I will rededicate myself to the Lord and His service. Today, I'll pledge to try harder to resist evil and choose the right. Today, I'll ask for renewed inner strength and will-power to overcome my shortcomings and to become more like what God wants me to be.

And if that doesn't fill all the time I'm given for my lesson, I'll share highlights from the lesson I was supposed to teach last week.

Experiences and Attitudes

Another positive result of Thursday night's adventure: Yesterday morning I invented a drink I call a PL Smoothie. "PL" stands for Promised Land, and the smoothie has only two ingredients: Milk and Honey (in very unequal proportions). Yesterday I thought the drink was only okay, but now I kinda like it.

I was also wondering this morning about what kinds of experiences bring us closer to God. I know that a main reason we have negative experiences is to bring us closer to Him, but what about positive experiences, like doing service, talking with a friend, or going for a walk? They can bring us closer to God too, can't they?

I think the answer is that they can bring us closer to God, but we have to help the process along for it to happen. For example, you can go for a walk and gain nothing from it but some fresh air and exercise, or, while you're walking, you can take the time to really notice how beautiful everything is, and how much God must care about us to make such things beautiful, just so we could see them and enjoy them. Then, by the time your walk is over, your heart will be full of gratitude, and that will bring you closer to God.

Inversely, we can have negative experiences that don't bring us closer to God, and the answer again is our thoughts and our attitudes. If we let the experience humble us and think of the Savior and His suffering in a more understanding and compassionate way, our suffering can bring us closer to God, but if all we think during our trials is 'Why is this happening to me?' and 'How long will my trial last?' then we probably won't get much out of the experience. It may even make us bitter to God, just as some good experiences may cause us to forget that we need God.

So, no matter what experiences you have today, try to make sure your attitude is such that any experience you have will bring you closer to God.

The Good News

So, here's the good news:

Mom cooks delicious BBQ chicken.

Despite getting a piece of chicken stuck in my tubes, I maintained my ability to breathe.

Joe was wise enough to call for help, and he knew who to call.

Kaiser has an excellent medical advice hotline.

Sister Foell was amazing for being willing to drop everything and give me a ride to Kaiser.

Joe was kind enough to come with me.

Through the miracle of cell phones, I was able to contact Mom and let her know what was going on.

We were able to express love for each other. You know, just in case.

The Kaiser Emergency Room has a very pleasant Welcome sign in front of it. I felt welcome.

Everyone at Kasier were super friendly and had a great sense of humor. They were really good sports about the situation.

They saw me quickly. (Hopefully implying that there weren't many people who were seriously hurt.)

They gave me some soda. (Though I did have to spit it out afterward. It still tasted good.)

We went for a nice walk from one Kasier building to another. Fresh air. Sunshine. Really nice.

My hospital room had an awesome view from from the window.

It also has the most impressively high-tech toilet I ever sat on.

My Mom came over as soon as she got home, even though I'm sure she was tired.

There was a TV in my room, including a channel with soothing music and nature scenes.

There was also a game show channel, which was fun to watch.

The doctors and nurses explained everything quite clearly.

When it was time for the procedure, they were very professional.

They were also quite accommodating when I needed to spit or drool.

It felt kinda cool to be hooked up to all those machines.

Thanks to the meds, I feel asleep before anything gross or painful happened.

When I came to, the procedure was over and they let my family back in.

I get pretty funny when I'm loopy on drugs.

My family waited with me, even though I'm sure they were hungry and tired.

The hospital didn't keep me overnight.

I was able to dress myself when it was time to go.

Joe pushed me in a wheelchair because I was still loopy.

He also got me a blanket when I lay down in the living room.

I slept rather soundly last night on our wonderful Costco futon.

I woke up this morning.

I'm still able to drink fluids, do laundry, blog, and do many other things.

I had, and am having, an experience that can bring me closer to God.

"In Me Ye Shall Have Peace"

Yesterday, I watched some of Elder Quentin L. Cook's  talk on the subject of personal peace. This morning, I watched the rest of it. Here are my highlights:

We all long for peace. Peace is not just safety or lack of war, violence, conflict, and contention. Peace comes from knowing that the Savior knows who we are and knows that we have faith in Him, love Him, and keep His commandments, even and especially amid life’s devastating trials and tragedies.

We all participated in the councils of heaven that provided for moral agency, knowing that there would be mortal pain and even unspeakable tragedy because of the abuse of agency. We understood that this could leave us angry, bewildered, defenseless, and vulnerable. But we also knew that the Savior’s Atonement would overcome and compensate for all of the unfairness of mortal life and bring us peace.

(This reminds me of Mom's comment from yesterday. If you haven't read it yet, you should.)

***

We earnestly hope and pray for universal peace, but it is as individuals and families that we achieve the kind of peace that is the promised reward of righteousness.

For those who reject God, there is no peace.

(Emphasis Added. I found this phrase particularly powerful the first time I heard it. The next two paragraphs explain this bold statement.)

Many search for peace in worldly ways, which never have and never will succeed. Peace is not found by attaining great wealth, power, or prominence. Peace is not found in the pursuit of pleasure, entertainment, or leisure. None of these can, even when attained in abundance, create any lasting happiness or peace.

The answer is the Savior, who is the source and author of peace. He is the “Prince of Peace.”

Repentance and living righteously allow for peace of conscience, which is essential for contentment. When there has been a major transgression, confession is required to bring peace. Perhaps there is nothing to compare with the peace that comes from a sin-wracked soul unloading his or her burdens on the Lord and claiming the blessings of the Atonement.

(Emphasis Added.)

***

Even with the trials of life, because of the Savior’s Atonement and His grace, righteous living will be rewarded with personal peace.

Eliza R. Snow penned this concept beautifully:

Lift up your hearts in praise to God;
Let your rejoicings never cease.
Though tribulations rage abroad,
Christ says, “In me ye shall have peace.”

(Beautiful song. I should go see if I can play it.)

A Sure Source of Sympathy for Those Who Suffer

Sometimes God calms the storm, sometimes He lets the storm rage and calms His child.

I'm not sure who said it, but it's as true now as it always has been. God doesn't always shield His children from suffering, but He always offers personal peace.

I've been hearing about so many tragedies lately. Bombings, shootings, rape, bullying, suicide. It's depressing. This kind of thing doesn't usually affect me because it always happens so far away to people I don't know. I feel sorry for the victims, but I don't really have sympathy for them. I don't suffer with them as more tender-hearted people do. I've lived a very sheltered life. I don't know how they feel.

But lately, it's been starting to sink in. It's starting to become real to me that suffering is happening all over the place. And I'm scared because I know it's only a matter of time before some kind of disaster hits someone I truly care about.

By saying that, I don't mean to offend anyone I know who is suffering. I personally know at least a handful of people who are going through hard times, who need love and support and prayers. I don't mean to suggest that your trials "don't count" or anything like that. I just mean that...

Well, I guess the truth is that none of it has affected me yet. I'm very selfish, now that I think about it. I can hear about people suffering and not be moved by it because I'm so wrapped up in my own problems that I forget that other people have problems, too. I feel so much self-pity that I forget to have compassion for others. Getting down to the root of the problem, it seems that I don't really love very many people. I love myself. I love my Mom. But do I love my brothers and sisters, my fellow ward members, my neighbors? Do I feel sympathy for them? Not usually.

But, breaking free of my self-centeredness for a moment, there is at least one person who does care about others, who does feel sympathy, empathy, and genuine love. He may not solve all your problems, but He'll certainly solve one, if you ask Him. He'll put His arms around you and let you know you're not alone. I may not really care about your problems, but I know He does. He'll stand with you and help you endure your trials. He can help you stay strong and even become stronger. He can be a good friend.

We can all use a good friend like that from time to time, and especially when times are hard. Someone we can talk to, lean on, cry with. Someone who'll be there for us, through thick and thin, forever. We may not always be faithful to Him, to each other, or even to ourselves, but He will always be faithful to us. He is a Comforter. And we can all use some comfort sometimes.

Highlights from Elder Scott's Talk

When I first "watched" Elder Richard G. Scott's talk on Saturday Afternoon, I was too distracted to notice what He was saying, and I certainly didn't take any notes. I resolved to rewatch the talk as soon as I could and take notes on the computer then. I'm really glad I did that. His was a very good talk.

Remember: little things lead to big things. Seemingly insignificant indiscretions or neglect can lead to big problems. More importantly, simple, consistent, good habits lead to a life full of bountiful blessings.

You remember the tomato plant. "Seemingly insignificant indiscretions or neglect," such as forgetting to water the plant for a while, "can lead to big problems." But on the other hand, "simple, consistent, good habits" like watering it faithfully and making sure it gets enough light can lead to great blessings.

The same goes with our spirits. Our souls need constant nourishment in order to be strong. If we neglect them, we will be weaker than we should be, and unhappiness will be the result. But if we feed them frequently through prayer and scripture study, they will be strong enough to resist temptation and choose the right, and we will be happy.

Satan is no match for the Savior... Stay on the Lord’s side, and you will win every time.

We "stay on the Lord's side" by striving to keep the commandments. We don't always have to succeed, which is lucky because we won't always succeed, but the Lord wants us to try. The more we try, to stronger we'll get, and the more likely it becomes that we'll succeed.

I've heard it said that will-power is like a muscle. The more we exercise it, the stronger it gets. The more we resist temptation and strive to keep the commandments, the more capable we will become.

Also, if we're trying to do what the Lord wants us to do, He may pull some strings in our favor. If I want to blog and God wants me to blog, He may put a McDonald's in my path, just to make it possible. If you want to be righteous and if God wants you to be righteous, between the two of you, I'm sure you'll find a way.

I have learned a truth that has been repeated so frequently in my life that I have come to know it as an absolute law. It defines the way obedience and service relate to the power of God. When we obey the commandments of the Lord and serve His children unselfishly, the natural consequence is power from God—power to do more than we can do by ourselves. Our insights, our talents, our abilities are expanded because we receive strength and power from the Lord.

I don't know this truth as strongly as Elder Scott does, but I do have some faith in it. I know that God blesses our righteous efforts and will strengthen us as we try to follow Him. I know that God loves us and that He wants us to succeed in life. And I know that when we follow Him, things work out much better than when we don't.

An Invitation of Love

As I watched President Eyring's talk "Come Unto Me" for the first time that Saturday Morning I once again missed the bulk of the speaker's message because I got hung up on something else. As President Eyring described many ways that we can Come Unto Christ,  I was pondering the fact that He, Christ, wants us to.

President Eyring said, "He is God, the Creator, and perfect. We are mortals subject to death and sin. Yet in His love for us and our families, He invites us to be close to Him."

I have often pondered how insignificant we are (and more specifically, I am) to Him. Being so far from that lofty goal of becoming like Him, I wonder sometimes if I really have a chance to make it.

I realize that Satan is trying to discourage me. He wants me to think only of how far I still have to go.

But no matter how imperfect I am, and however hopeless I may feel, that will never change how much the Savior loves me. And it's because of His love that He wants me to come unto Him.

And what applies to me applies to us all. Christ wants all of us to come unto Him, not because we've earned it (because we can never earn it) and not because we're a good investment (no matter what we do, we'll never be able to pay Him back for what He did for us), but simply because He loves us.

Only because He cares about us, He wants what's best for us. He wants us to be happy, and He wants us to have peace. He wants us to live in heaven with Him. How can I turn down an invitation like that?

Faithfulness in Times of Trial

Today I have to blog really quickly, then go and get ready for church. We may be leaving at 8 this morning. [I forgot that our church starts at 1 O'Clock rather than 9 O'Clock. We actually may be leaving at Noon.]

This afternoon, I'm going to be teaching in Elder's Quorum meeting. The topic is Teachings from Lorenzo Snow Chapter 7: Faithfulness in Times of Trial.

While I've been studying this lesson, I've been learning that trials are necessary in that they draw us nearer to God. President Lorenzo Snow said, "It [has] been said that if all our surroundings were peaceful and prosperous now, we would become indifferent. It would be a condition that would be all that would be desired by a many good natures; they would not stretch out after the things of eternity."

Basically, if life was a bunch of peaches and roses, we wouldn't be trying so hard to obtain a better life. If life on Earth was too much like heaven, we wouldn't be striving for heaven because, in a sense, we'd already (temporarily) be there. By allowing us to experience trials, God motivates us to live worthy of the blessings He enjoys, including peace and relief from all suffering.

It seems kind of crazy that we have to "go through hell," so to speak, to make it into heaven. But this was all part of God's plan from the beginning. In the Pre-Mortal council, He told us that there would be suffering on Earth and either we didn't know what He was talking about, or we trusted Him enough to get us through it, because, despite being warned that there'd be suffering, here we are.

I've seen a quote on the internet: If God brings you to it, He'll bring you through it. I believe God "Brought us to" this life, and I certainly know that He's willing to help us get through it. We just have to trust Him now at least as much as we trusted Him before. Stay faithful to Him during your times of trial, and those trials will end up being the means by with you strengthen your faith in God.

President Packer - Knowledge

What I shared yesterday was basically only the introduction of President Packer's message, and my own musings on what I thought it meant. Now I think what he was trying to say was "I've learned a few things over the years, and here's what I've learned..." And I got hung up on the idea that people learn as they get older, accidentally neglecting the bulk of President Packer's message. I'd like to fix that mistake.

To do that, I'd like to start by finishing my coverage of President Packer's poem. The (current) last four stanzas are:

I now can say with all certainty
That I know and love the Lord.
I can testify with them of old
As I preach His holy word. 

I know what He felt in Gethsemane
Is too much to comprehend.
I know He did it all for us;
We have no greater Friend. 

I know that He will come anew
With power and in glory.
I know I will see Him once again
At the end of my life’s story. 

I’ll kneel before His wounded feet;
I’ll feel His Spirit glow.
My whispering, quivering voice will say,
“My Lord, my God, I know.”

It seems that the first, strongest, and most important part of President Packer's testimony is that Christ lives, that He loves us, that He paid the price for our sins, and that He'll welcome us into heaven if we're faithful. This is important to remember. You recall that the first principle of the gospel is "Faith in the Lord, Jesus Christ." (Articles of Faith 1:4) When we have faith in the Lord, we have faith in His promises and in His guidance. We follow Him, knowing that He's leading us to the Celestial Kingdom.

Next, President Packer started talking about snakes eating finches, which really confused me because, at the time, I thought his main message was about age, experience, and wisdom. Now I think the main reason he told the snakes and finches story was to illustrate the idea that "We need to protect our nestlings." Which I think is an analogy for what he taught next:

We live in a very dangerous world that threatens those things that are most spiritual. The family, the fundamental organization in time and eternity, is under attack from forces seen and unseen. The adversary is about. His objective is to cause injury. If he can weaken and destroy the family, he will have succeeded.

Thus, we need to protect our "nestlings."

He also spoke of the power of faith, the importance of moral agency, and the danger of tolerating sinful behavior. I could go into greater detail, but the talk isn't exactly split into sections and it would take time  to hunt down the right quotes for the right topics, and I feel kinda lazy right now. I think I'll just cut to the chase.

These are the words with which President Boyd K. Packer ended his talk:

Of all that I have read and taught and learned, the one most precious and sacred truth that I have to offer is my special witness of Jesus Christ. He lives. I know He lives. I am His witness. And of Him I can testify. He is our Savior, our Redeemer. Of this I am certain. Of this I bear witness in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.

President Packer - Wisdom

I sort of accidentally started blogging through the General Conference talks systematically. This isn't what I intended to do when I started. I started with Bishop Davies and Sister Dalton because their messages had thoughts that I really wanted to share. Elder Cardon came next because his message was really good, too, and it was kind of a special request. The fact that it came next chronologically as well was almost a coincidence. By then I realized I had a pattern going, so I ran with it and blogged about Elder Ballard's message next. This morning, I was planning to blog about President Eyring's talk from the Saturday Morning session, but there were two problems with that: One, it's not really grabbing me right now. If I were to blog about it, I'm not sure what I would say. And Two: I accidentally skipped over President Monson's opening remarks and President Packer's message. So, let's backtrack a little.

Today, I'd like to share my thoughts and highlights from President Packer's talk, focussing specifically on the poem he shared that he started when he was 68. You can read and listen to the poem, and the rest of the talk, here. (It's too long for me to post here.)

The first four stanzas of the poem talk about his reflection on the physical changes that came to him because of age - all negative. Stanzas five and six, however, share his decision that:

If I could now turn back the years,
If that were mine to choose,
I would not barter age for youth,
I’d have too much to lose.

I am quite content to move ahead,
To yield my youth, however grand.
The thing I’d lose if I went back
Is what I understand.

It's well-known, or at least largely understood, that with age comes wisdom. The idea is that the more time passes, the more experiences we have, and the more experience we gain, the wiser we become. It doesn't always happen that way, but it's sort of the norm.

I consider myself a young person. I'm 23 years old, 24 next month. I have almost two and a half decades on me, compared to President Packer's seven, at the time he wrote that part of the poem. So, I'm just a little older than a third of what his age was at the time. According to the math, it would make sense for him to be at least three times wiser then than I am now. And I don't doubt that.

In addition to my opinion concerning my relative age, I also have an opinion concerning my relative wisdom, which opinion is given supporting evidence by the "age begets wisdom" formula referred to above. Basically, I consider myself an idiot (and if you need to see some evidence supporting that hypothesis, I can provide you with some). I know that I have some wisdom, but it never feels like enough. According to the formula, I'll gain wisdom with age, but I suppose wisdom is coupled with patience, another virtue I lack.

However, despite the limited nature of my current level of wisdom, I know that there isn't much point in beating myself up about it. So perhaps I'll change the subject slightly, and maybe get back to this one later.

The next section of President Packer's poem came ten years later, at age 78. In it, he shares the following gems of wisdom:

I would agree I’ve learned some things
I did not want to know,
But age has brought those precious truths
That make the spirit grow. 

... 

I have not changed my mind one bit
About regaining youth.
We’re meant to age, for with it
Comes a knowledge of the truth.

In these stanzas, I've just noticed, President Packer hints at a principle that I learned while on my mission: Wisdom is dependent on knowledge. To illustrate that thought, picture this: There are two doors; one on the left, one on the right, and you have to go through one of them. Which will you choose? Without the knowledge of what lies behind either door, you are unable to make a wise decision about which door to choose.

The same goes with our other choices in life. We're constantly faced with many choices that affect our future, but, not being able to predict the future, we don't always know where our choices will lead. That lack of knowledge leads to a lack of wisdom, which (unless we're lucky) may lead to foolish choices. However, once we've made the choice and are able to observe the results, we gain experience or knowledge which may help us make wise choices in the future.

The things which President Packer "did not want to know" may have been the results of negative experiences. For example, a person may gain the knowledge that "Getting punched hurts." One way to gain that piece of knowledge is by getting punched... and that hurts. I'm sure that President Packer would rather not know (at least, not by personal experience) that getting punched hurts, but I bet he does know that, so he must have learned it somehow.

Thankfully, personal experience is not the only source of knowledge. We don't always have to learn something first-hand; we can be told. That's why we have prophets. Sure, we could learn from our own experience that committing sin is a bad idea, and some people do. However, if we can be told by prophets "don't do that," and then be wise enough not to do it, we don't have to learn first-hand how bad sin is, so we can avoid that negative experience.

Unfortunately, while we can gain some knowledge without experience, we can also have experiences without gaining knowledge or wisdom. Sometimes we make the same mistake repeatedly. In which case, we haven't really learned yet. Perhaps we will learn, in time, if we make an effort to learn.

There are also some things which cannot be learned except by personal experience. That is, after all, one of the chief reasons we came to earth - to gain experience. If we could just be told everything we ever needed to know, there'd be no need to gain experience here. Of course, we'd still have to be tested, and be given an opportunity to make our own choices, so we would have to come to earth without our previously-gained knowledge. And to make right choices, we'd need wisdom, which means that we'd need some source of knowledge, and not all of us humans have had access to prophetic counsel, so we'd need a way to gain knowledge and wisdom ourselves, possibly through experience.

It's also possible to have knowledge, but not wisdom. For example, a person may know that getting punched hurts, but he may still pick a fight anyway. We can be given knowledge, but I don't think we can be given wisdom. I think we have to earn that ourselves. That would require experience, and gaining experience takes time. An older person has had a lot of time, so they've probably had many experiences, which means that they've had many chances to gain wisdom, so an old person is probably wise. I know President Packer is.

How to Grow Tomatoes

Last Saturday, Elder M. Russell Ballard told a wonderful story about a little girl with a tomato plant.
Now I wish to share just that part of the talk.

I am reminded of a sweet seven-year-old showing her grandfather a small tomato plant she had started from seed as part of a second-grade school project. 

She explained that from one tiny seed would come a plant. And if the plant were cared for, it would grow many tomatoes that would each have many seeds. 

She said, “And if all of those seeds were planted and grew more tomatoes, and you planted all of those seeds, in a few seasons you would have millions of tomatoes.” 

“All,” she said in amazement, “from one little seed.” 

But then she said, “I almost killed my plant. I left it in a dark room and forgot to water it. When I remembered the plant, it was all wilted and dead looking. I cried because I thought of all of those millions of tomatoes that would never grow.” 

She was then excited to tell her grandfather about the “miracle” that happened. 

She explained, “Momma said maybe the plant wasn’t dead. Maybe all it needed was some water and some light to bring life back. 

“And she was right. I gave the plant some water, and I put it in the window for light. And guess what?” she asked. “It came back to life, and now it’s going to grow millions of tomatoes!” 

Her small tomato plant, so full of potential but so weakened and wilted from unintentional neglect, was strengthened and revived through the simple ministration of water and light by the little girl’s loving and caring hands. 

Brothers and sisters, as the literal spirit children of our loving Heavenly Father, we have unlimited, divine potential. But if we are not careful, we can become like the wilted tomato plant. We can drift away from the true doctrine and gospel of Christ and become spiritually undernourished and wilted, having removed ourselves from the divine light and living waters of the Savior’s eternal love and priesthood power. 

If any one of you feels your faith or your testimony of Heavenly Father’s plan is less than you know it should be, then turn more fully to the Savior. Let His light and His living water do for you and your family what a little water and light did in bringing life back to the weakened tomato plant.

Jesus said:

“If any man thirst, let him come unto me, and drink” (John 7:37).

“Whosoever drinketh of the water that I shall give him shall never thirst; but the water that I shall give him shall be in him a well of water springing up into everlasting life” (John 4:14).

“I am the light of the world: he that followeth me shall not walk in darkness, but shall have the light of life” (John 8:12).

This is definitely a message that I needed to rehear. First, to consider the tomato plant's infinite potential and my own infinite worth. I often judge myself by how foolish I am and how little I accomplish, and I forget to see myself as Heavenly Father sees me. He knows what I'm really worth and what I can really do. He also knows what I need to do to reach me full potential.

That's the second part of the message, the need for spiritual nourishment. That's why God committed me to blogging every morning. He wants me to spend at least some time every day thinking about spiritual matters, feeding my soul. This morning, feeding my soul wasn't my top priority. I opened a tab to youtube and watched Celine Dion sing a duet with Josh Groban. Then I watched Superman survive an insanely powerful explosion and fight a guy with psychic powers. Then I read about the bad things that can happen if you mix the right chemicals in a pressure cooker and heat it to 300 degrees Celsius. Elder Ballard's message was still open in another tab, but it was the last thing on my mind. The internet is a great tool, but it's also a terrible trap. In the future, I must learn to BLOG FIRST, before doing anything else online.

The final part of the message is a message of hope. By some miracle, I'm not dead yet - physically or spiritually. I've wilted, but there's still some hope. His light can still lift me. His Word can still nourish me. As far gone as I feel I am, I'm not beyond His help. Picturing myself as that little tomato plant, I feel a little pathetic. I wonder, am I really worth saving? Is it worth spending all that time to nourish and nurse back to health one small tomato plant? Wouldn't it be simpler to just let it die? Yes, it would be simpler, and faster, and much, much easier to just let it die, but that's not what the Lord does. It's not what the Savior does. Jesus saves. No matter how long it takes, no matter what the cost, no matter how uphill the battle for my soul is, as long as there's even a glimmer of hope left in me, Jesus will fight for it.

I can't imagine how much Jesus must love me. To care for me enough to still care about me. To keep fighting for my soul even in those dark moments when I'm ready to surrender. No matter how lost I get, He's still trying to lead me. He's still on my side and always will be, even when I'm not. He will never give up on me. He's stubborn like that. He loves me too much to quit on me, ever. I really, really need that sometimes. And I'm afraid I'm going to keep needing it for a really long time. And somehow, He's okay with that. To Him, it doesn't matter how long it takes me to get better, to improve. He's just glad that I'm improving. I'm grateful that He's still my Savior, my Gardener, my Friend.

Elder Craig A. Cardon - Repeating Repentance

I was just thinking, "I'd like to write about Elder Cardon's talk, but I want to wait until they post the text of the talk, so I can quote it easily." Guess what? They've posted the text. ^^ Just half a week after the talk was given, the entire talk was written down and posted online for all the world to read. Awesome.

Said he: The Son of Man forgives sins! While this truth is readily accepted by all believers, not so easily acknowledged is the essential companion truth: the Savior forgives sins 'upon earth' and not just at the Final Judgment.

Have you ever heard the phrase "Cleaning the house while the kids are still growing is like shoveling the sidewalk while it's still snowing"? I think forgiving our sins while we're still human is kinda like that. God and I both know that I'm not perfect. We know that I'm going to keep making mistakes, sometimes the same ones repeatedly, for as long as I live.

Yet, in His mercy, He allows for improvement over time rather than demanding immediate perfection. Even with the multitude of sins occasioned by the weakness of mortality, as often as we repent and seek His forgiveness, He forgives again and again.

The part that I have trouble with is the definition of repentance. D&C 58: 43 reads, "By this ye may know if a man repenteth of his sins—behold, he will confess them and forsake them." I can confess my sins alright, but some sins are difficult to forsake. Some sins are attached to the "recurring human weakness" Elder Cardon spoke of earlier in his talk. Sometimes I feel that I can't be forgiven of my sins because I can't truly repent of them, because I lack the will-power to forsake the sins that assail me. Yet, Elder Cardon also teaches:

As we humbly seek this precious gift [the enabling power of the Atonement], 'weak things become strong unto [us],' and by His strength, we are made able to do that which we could never do alone.

Perhaps I can't forsake my sins on my own. Perhaps I do lack that will-power. Maybe I'm right about this. But if God applies the enabling power of the Atonement to me, maybe I can gain the strength to forsake my sins. I think now I'm beginning to understand what Elder Cardon said toward the beginning of his talk:

In this forgiveness we see the enabling and the redeeming power of the Atonement harmoniously and graciously applied. If we exercise faith in the Lord Jesus Christ, the enabling power of His Atonement strengthens us in our moment of need, and His redeeming power sanctifies us as we “[put] off the natural man.” This brings hope to all, especially to those who feel that recurring human weakness is beyond the Savior’s willingness to help and to save.

In our hearts, there must be the willingness to forsake our sins, even if the ability is beyond us. If we have the willingness, God can give us the strength, with which we can truly forsake our sins. God knows that we're not perfect. He knows that we'll continue to stumble time and time again, but as God told Alma the Elder: as often as my people repent, will I forgive them their trespasses against me.

The Lord wants to forgive.

...Or Not - The Parabolic Paladin

So what does this do to my desire to see myself as a Paladin? I am a son of God. Can I be both a son of God and a Paladin? Would seeing myself as a Paladin diminish my view of myself as a son of God, or would seeing myself as a Paladin improve my self-image as a son of God? If the Paladin I picture myself as being has a very strong testimony that he is a son of God, I think some of his testimony might carry over to me.

Still, God is a God of truth. And, speaking literally, I am not, nor ever will be, a Paladin. However, God often speaks figuratively, too. I don't think Jesus Christ was ever literally a Shepherd, and he was certainly never a Lamb. He is neither bread nor water, but figuratively speaking, He is the Living Water and the Bread of Life. I'm not literally a Paladin. But figuratively...?

The Paladin could be a symbol for the kind of son/disciple of God I want to be. If we imagine wrestling against temptation as struggling against some enemy, and overcoming temptation as defeating that enemy, then why not picture the triumphant hero as a warrior of some kind, perhaps a Paladin, clad in the Armor of God?

There are many virtues to being a Paladin. Paladins are strong and heavily armored (they have strong testimonies). They're blessed with holy magic that can heal them (like the Atonement heals our souls). They are particularly effective against undead creatures (evil spirits, tempters). The bulk of their strength comes from divine magic (they rely on the Lord), which they obtain through faithfulness to strict moral codes (keeping the commandments). Paladins are often seen as examples to others ("Ye are the light of the world"). They're natural leaders, and are known for encouraging others to be righteous as well (as missionaries do).

There are many good things about Paladins. Then would it not be a good thing to see myself as one of them?

Yet somehow, deep down, it just doesn't feel right. I feel like, since there are no real Paladins, picturing myself as a Paladin will never feel real. That part of the equation will always be and feel imaginary. And I can't afford to have any part of my testimony be fictional. Bishop Davies spoke of concrete, and how it has to have a perfect mixture of the right ingredients to be strong. One wrong inclusion or exclusion and the concrete won't be as strong as it could be. If I set my heart on being a Paladin, I'll probably lead myself astray.

I am not a Paladin.

But I can, and should, be like a Paladin. All those virtues I listed are traits that I should try to develop. I should rely on the Lord and the power of His Atonement to defeat the evil spirits that tempt me. I should be faithful and zealous for keeping the commandments, just as the people of Ammon were. I should be true in all things wherewith I am entrusted, just like the Stripling Warriors, just like a Paladin.

Suppose this whole concept of "being a Paladin" is more of a parable than an accurate description. Maybe it's a metaphor. You know how much I love metaphors. Some parts of the metaphor are, or should be, literally true (possessing qualities like faithfulness and steadfastness), while other parts are less-closely related to reality (smiting evil-doers with holy magic). Still, I find it an inspiring image.

There was a "war" in heaven and it's continuing on Earth. If I'm going to participate and make a difference, I'm going to want to be the toughest kind of "warrior" I can be. And the strongest kind of warrior I can think of is a Paladin. We're not literally "at war," we're not literally warriors, and I'm not literally a Paladin. But figuratively, in some ways, maybe I am.

Identity Crisis - Solved

Bishop Dean M. Davies, Second Counselor in the Presiding Bishopric, spoke of an earthquake that occurred in San Francisco while he was visiting. The earthquake destroyed many homes, many of which were built of shaky foundations. Then Bishop Davies quoted Helaman's advice to his sons, that "It is upon the rock of our Redeemer, who is Christ, the Son of God, that [we] must build [our] foundation."

This talk answered a question of mine, which was raised in my blog post called Identity Crisis. At that time, I wanted to know how I should define myself, what my identity is. During this talk, I came to realize that if I defined myself by who I think I am or who I want to be, my foundation will be too shaky to give me a lasting identity. Rather, I should identify myself, first and foremost, as a son of God.

Right after Bishop Davies' talk, Sister Elaine S. Dalton, the Young Women General President, spoke. She reminded me that in the Young Women's theme, the Young Women of our church identify themselves as "daughters of our Heavenly Father, who loves us, and we love Him." This gives them a strong spirit of unity, identity, and love.

This is the kind of foundation that I would like for myself. I know that I will always be a Son of God, so I can define myself as that, knowing that that identity will never change. I also know that I have the potential to become like Him, so learning more about Him will help me understand my identity, not just because He's my Father, but also because He is my future.

This brings me back to the subject of faith and how I'd like to increase my faith, which I spoke about a few days ago. Fortunately, this subject was also covered early on in Conference. I look forward to sharing what I've learned on faith in later blog posts.

I'm grateful that my Heavenly Father knows me and my needs and wants. I'm grateful that He inspired so many of the speakers to talk on matters that would be directly relevant to me. I'm sure these messages helped many others, and they weren't designed for me specifically, but I'm glad God included me in the group of people these messages were meant to help. I'm grateful that God is still watching out for me and helping me along, even when I need more help than I feel like I'm worth. Basically, I'm glad God loves me. I'm glad I have Him for a Father.

A Few Quick Notes

It's amazing! The videos for the individual talks that were given yesterday are already available to watch online! Do you remember a particularly good talk that you want to watch again? Remember the name of the person who gave the talk or the person who spoke before or after them? Click here, and you'll be able to find the video quickly and easily. I, personally, missed the talk by Elder Richard G. Scott, so I'm going to go watch that one. =)

Man, that was a good talk. I'm glad I took the time to watch it when I could actually pay attention. I love how he said, “Remember, Little things lead to big things. Seemingly insignificant indiscretions or neglect can lead to big problems. More importantly, Simple, consistent good habits lead to full and bountiful blessings,” and that since "Satan is no match for the Savior," "Stay on the Lord's side and you will win every time." I really love that quote. It's an encouraging thought, even if it's sometimes difficult  to "Stay on the Lord's side." However, we can take comfort on that subject from Elder Craig A. Cardon's talk on repentance and forgiveness.

I'd love to write more, but I really need to get going. See you at the next session! =D

Countdown to Conference

I don't know how much time I have this morning. I need to get ready for conference, which, according to this countdown timer I found on LDS.org, is 2 hours and 45 minutes away. Right now, I'm listening to the highlights of the October 2012 General Conference. There were so many good messages, and the messages we're going to hear today are going to be just as good. In 2 hours and 30 minutes, we're going to have an opportunity to feel the spirit and be inspired by it. I'm looking forward to this. I hope that I will be mentally and spiritually prepared to receive the messages that God has in store for me.

I hope that all of us will be able to make it to an LDS church building to watch General Conference, but in case your circumstances deny you that privilege, here's a link so in 2 hours and 15 minutes, you will be able to watch the April 2013 General Conference streaming from your computer.

http://www.lds.org/general-conference/watch?lang=eng

I think I had better go get (physically) ready for Conference. Joe's in the shower, I think, but I can still get my clothes and note paper ready. And I still need to pick out a tie. I'm getting excited. General Conference starts only 2 hours from now.

Faith in Jesus Christ

I can't believe that General Conference is tomorrow! I'm so excited. But I'm also a little down on myself. I've been feeling both bad and badly lately (Grammar Nazis, eat that!) and I think that a good way to get myself out of the slump that I'm currently in is to go back to the basics, starting with Faith.





This weekend, up to 15 Apostles of the Lord, His special witnesses, will stand at a podium before a congregation of thousands and bare their testimonies of Jesus Christ (among other things). Some of them will teach us how we can increase our faith and our testimonies. I look forward to hearing those messages.

Agency - Green and Red Branches

I read an interesting thing in the Ensign the other day. Actually, it was yesterday, wasn't it? It feels like it was longer ago. Anyway, here's what I read: "Our choice in this life is not whether we will or will not be subject to any power. Our choice is to which authority we will yield obedience: God's or Satan's... If it is not one, it is necessarily the other." - Elder D. Todd Christofferson

I don't think I like this doctrine. It seems to contradict the concept of agency. Instead of being free to choose any path we want out of thousands of options, we really have only two options, and both of them are to yield obedience to another.

Picture a tree with many branches. And each of those branches have many sub-branches, and so on, resulting in countless paths leading to countless twigs. Now picture a tree with only two branches - no sub-branches. In this tree, there are only two paths - God's and Satan's (We'll mark God's branch Green and Satan's branch Red).

Not much of a choice, is it? Yet we know that life isn't like that. We know that there are countless options, countless paths. Sure, God advocates for some and Satan advocates others, but many paths fall into a 'grey area,' don't they? Return to the tree with many branches. Mark one branch Green and another branch Red. Leave the other branches Brown. Couldn't we, if we wanted to, follow one of the Brown branches?

Perhaps it's that there's one, true, good path (marked Green) and Satan would be happy with any choice we make, as long as it's not that one. So there's one Green branch, and all the other branches are Red?

I don't like that. I don't like that at all.

Yet, when we seek answers to prayers, sometimes God doesn't answer us, and there are a number of different reasons for that. Sometimes, God trusts us enough to make the right choice even without His guidance in the matter. Sometimes both options we're asking about are bad, so God can't say "do this" or "do that" because He cannot lead us down either wrong path. But sometimes, but of the options are about equally good, so God lets us choose whichever good path we prefer. There's more than one Green branch.

So, let's say you have a tree where half of the branches are Green and the other half of the branches are Red. There are still countless branches and you can choose whichever path you want. But in another sense, there are only two options; you can chose a Green branch or a Red branch. If you're not on a Green branch, you're on a Red branch. If you're not following God, you're following Satan.

Is that true? It makes sense, sort of. But I always thought there was some... you know... wiggle room. I thought that some options were kinda good and kinda bad, or sort of neutral. Either a mix of Green and Red, or neither color (Brown). Maybe some things are.

Let's say that there are some Brown branches on our Half-Green, Half-Red tree. Let's split the colors evenly, so they each get a third of the branches. The Green branches lead to heaven, the Celestial Kingdom. The Red branches lead to hell. Where do the Brown branches lead? The Terrestrial Kingdom? But if they lead there, wouldn't they be Green?

The trouble with speculation is that, even though it's fun, and you feel like you're getting somewhere, you're not actually learning anything you didn't already know. And I don't know where Brown branches would lead.

I think that, for any branch of any color, God either does or does not want you to follow it, so either it's Green or it's not. And Satan would probably encourage the opposite, just out of opposition to God (If it's not Green, Satan will turn it Red). So we're back to having only two options.

Dang it, Elder Christofferson was right. >_<

So, I think I understand it now, but I still don't like it. I like agency. I like freedom. I like feeling like I have a choice. Now I feel like I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. Either I do something difficult, or I fail. Either I follow God's path, which is often harder than it sounds, or I end up... somewhere else. I want a path that not as difficult as God's path, but that doesn't lead to hell either. What I want is now impossible.

Plan B: I want to be stronger than I am. I want to have more wisdom and will-power. I want to be able to follow God's path. In theory, God always makes it possible. He made it possible for me to blog in McDonalds. He'll probably make it possible for me to follow His path. He probably already has. I just wish I had enough will-power to choose the right path and stay on it.

We Believe in Revelation

This weekend is General Conference. Twice a year, we Latter-Day Saints have the privilege of listening to Prophets and Apostles share inspired messages with us. Twice a year, members and officers of the church gather to Salt Lake City from all over the world to hear the voice of the Lord through His servants. While this is a regular occurrence for us, I use the term "regular" to say that it happens regularly, not to imply that this is a normal event. In fact, I wonder exactly how abnormal General Conference is.

If you were to ask me what the main difference is between the LDS church and most other churches, I would say that our church believes in continued revelation whereas other churches typically don't. (There are other differences, too, of course, but continuing revelation is a big one.) I'm not sure why that is. If God still lives and still loves us, and we still need His guidance, wouldn't He still guide us as He has always led His church, with revelation through prophets? How do people think they can get by without divine guidance?

I am, personally, very grateful for revelation and General Conference. I'm grateful for personal revelation (especially when I actually manage to follow it). And I'm grateful for Prophets and Apostles sharing inspired messages with us loud and clear, just in case we find receiving personal revelation difficult. I love the promise given at the end of this video.




"If we teach by the Spirit, and you listen by the Spirit, some one of us will touch on your circumstance, sending a personal, little, prophetic epistle just to you." -Elder Jeffrey R. Holland

It is my testimony that God wants to speak with us, and He does so through Prophets, scriptures, sermons on Sundays, and feelings in our own hearts. We have many opportunities to hear or read or feel the word of the Lord, but none of those miracles will matter if we're not really listening. We, as Latter-Day Saints, are more abundantly blessed with the word of the Lord than any other people on Earth. We have more scriptures, more inspired messages through our church leaders, and more access the personal revelation through the Holy Spirit. Is it making any difference? We have the potential to be the most inspired people on the planet. Are we?

In April 2011, President Uchtdorf told the story of a man who bought a ticket on a cruise line, and, not knowing that many of amenities available on the cruise had been included in the price of the ticket, he mostly stayed in his cabin and ate food he brought from home. At the end of the cruise, the man learned too late that he had been living far beneath his privileges.

As I watched the video associated with that story, I heard I quote from President Uchtdorf that I'd like to share with you now. "As you read the scriptures and listen to the words of the prophets with all your heart and mind, the Lord will tell you how to live up to your privileges."

Very soon, we will have an opportunity to listen to the words of prophets, but in truth, we already have a similar opportunity right now. I heard the voice of a prophet when I pulled up that cruise-story video. You heard the voices of prophets as you watched the video I posted above. Any one of us can go on LDS.org or even Youtube to hear the words of prophets almost any time we want to. We have great opportunities and privileges as Latter-Day Saints. May we take full advantage of them by doing what President Uchtdorf suggested: by "read[ing] the scriptures and listen[ing] to the words of the prophets with all [our] heart[s] and mind[s]" Let's try to really listen to General Conference. Let's see what the Lord has to say.

Music is Good

I'm having an unusually rough morning. At first I was just tired, then I was tired and cranky. I can't blog when I'm like that.  I'm sorry.

...

After spending some time listening to nice music and not trying to blog, I feel a little better. No problems were actually solved by the music, unless a bad mood can be considered a problem. I still have the problems that caused my bad mood, but now I feel a little better prepared to face them. Music is good.

An Eternal Perspective

In my search for a video this morning, Easter lead to resurrection, resurrection lead to eternity, and eternity lead me here.

It's a 5-minute video of a young man sharing his thoughts on eternal families and an eternal perspective. I'd like to quote the young man's message at the end of the video.

The key to anything is to keep an Eternal Perspective. That's how I'm getting through life now, and how I'll get through it in the future. What does it mean to have Eternal Perspective? It means to remember there are more important things than just the here and now. It means to remember that life continues after death, that the way you act and respond to things in your everyday life have eternal consequences. It also means to have your eye single to the glory of God, so you can see the big picture, to see why you had to experience that certain trial, to see that all things will always be for your good, something you can learn from and be strengthened by.

It's amazing how much faith this young man has. When trials come into our lives, we often think "why me?" or "when will it end?" But he encourages us to remember that our trials, even "all things will always be for your good, something you can learn from and be strengthened by." Even our most miserable trials can ultimately become blessings in God's Great Eternal Plan.

And often, in our busy lives, we get caught up in all the day-to-day things, but he advises us to "remember there are more important things than just the here and now," and that "the way you act and respond to things in your everyday life have eternal consequences." That eternal perspective should help us to react more appropriately to various problems, to put less focus on temporal problems and more focus on resolving whatever spiritual problems we may have.

Between the veil of forgetfulness and the distractions of life, it's sometimes hard to remember that there's more to life than what's going on right now. Keeping and eternal perspective, as this young man suggests, is a good way to get through life and prepare for eternity. It's hard to do sometimes, but if it can bring feelings of joy and peace in a world that so often is filled with misery and sorrow, an eternal perspective is a thing worth having.