Trust Issues

It bothers me that God doesn't always explain Himself. I don't like taking "because I said so" as an answer, because that's not a good way to learn. I've had this issue since back when I took my Algebra class and was taught to use formulas for which I wasn't prepared to learn the proofs. Sometimes, we can't wrap our heads around how something works, but we're still expected to trust that it works and act on that information. I don't like doing that. For me, it's not enough to know that there is a rule; I also want to know why that rule exists.

Yet, I know that I can't always get an explanation. God's ability to explain things is limited by my inability to understand them. It'd be like me trying to explain something to a dog. Sure, I may understand something, but I can't necessarily make a dog understand it. Given that God is vastly more intelligent than we are, it may be that God is capable of understanding things that we cannot yet understand, even if God Himself were to try to explain them to us. Instead, He asks us to trust Him until we become intelligent enough to understand that which we cannot understand now.

This, too, is difficult for me. I find it difficult to trust God when every avenue I have for interacting with Him is so flawed. The people who claim to speak for Him could be lying and/or mistaken. The words those people wrote in scripture could be equally false. Even my own thoughts and feelings could be just that: my own thoughts and feelings, or worse, illusions sent by some cunning deceiver to deliberately mislead me. I can't shake the feeling that everything I think I know about God could be wrong, and I have no idea how I could know for sure. How can I trust someone when I can't fully trust any of the information I have about them?

I suppose my only recourse is to pray, to try to discern truth from falsehood for myself, and hope to God that I'm not being misled. As for the rules, I'm going to try to use my judgement there, too, including my judgement about whose judgement I can trust. Some people are wise, and others are foolish. Some people are honest, and others are liars. I'm going to do my best to figure out who's who and to make wise decisions from there. Will I make mistakes along the way? Absolutely. But as far as I've been told, mistakes were part of the plan anyway. This is part of how we learn. I will gain wisdom however I can, including through my own experience, and maybe one day I'll learn that I should have trusted God all along.