Okay is Okay

I've heard it said that the mind is like a stage that can only have one actor on it at a time. This premise is important to the concept of Good, Better, Best. When one's mind is occupied by Good things, there isn't room left for Better or Best things. Yet, there isn't room for Bad things, either. Whether filling one's mind with Good or even Okay things is ultimately good or bad depends entirely on what thoughts might otherwise occupy that person's mind. If one's mind frequently turns to Bad things, filling it with Good or even Okay things instead would be an improvement.

Granted, filling one's mind with Best, Celestial things would be an even greater improvement, but filling one's mind with Best thoughts is easier said than done, especially when Bad and Okay thoughts seem far more compelling than Best thoughts are. When one struggles to keep Bad thoughts off the stage of their mind, finding interesting Good thoughts to fill his or her mind can be a godsend and a big step in the right direction. Of course, one should continually strive to fill his or her mind with the best thoughts possible, but when the Best thoughts don't linger, and the Worst thoughts keep coming back, sometimes it's okay to settle for Okay.

A Good Man?

I recently heard of a man who went far out of his way to spend time with his kids, and I said that he was a good man. Then I heard that he had been accused of doing something horrible, which, if true, would substantially alter my opinion of this man. This moment reminded me that human beings are complex, capable of doing both good things and bad things, even within a few moments of each other. People are neither all good nor all bad, which makes them very difficult to judge.

I'm grateful that I'm not the ultimate arbiter of whether a person is good or not, and I'm glad that there's more to God's system of judging people than a simple good/bad, pass/fail, heaven/hell dichotomy. People are complex, and I'm glad I don't have to judge them.

Maybe I shouldn't be so quick to judge anyone to be "a good person," since, on some level, I know that it's always more complex than that.

All of Me

Today, I met up with the guy who's profiling me for the school paper. We walked through the park as we waited for the bus. We talked about D&D and my blog as we ate dinner at Burger King. He even joined in tonight's game of D&D, which was a fairly representative sample of the game, and it was the most fun I had running a game of D&D in the history of my role as a DM.

Over the course of the four consecutive hours we spent in one another's company, we covered a wide array of topics, all of which were of direct interest to me. In addition to D&D, we talked briefly about Magic: the Gathering. We mentioned Let's Plays. We noted that the Burger King staff are well acquainted with me. We talked about my work as a writing tutor. We discussed my blog, why I started it, and why I started playing D&D. All told, we talked about most of the everyday aspects of my life. There were a few subjects we didn't touch on. Maybe we'll get to those later. But for the most part, I think he got to know me pretty well.

I wonder how much of this will end up in the student profile. At first, I thought that the profile would focus on only one aspect of my life and that I could have some control over which aspect that was. Now I think that the profile may touch on just about all of me.

When we die, we will be judged, not just on our best parts or our worst parts, but all our parts. Everything will be taken into account. And while my lengthy interview with my new friend missed a few important details, notably about my family, my Final Interview won't. When God calls me up to talk about my life, we will very likely spend what might feel like an eternity discussing everything there is to know about me. Nothing will be overlooked or left out, except the parts of which I will have repented. When God judges me, He will judge me based on all of me, not just my best, worst, or most obvious parts.

My student profile may well cover just about everything there is to know about me, but there will always be some parts of me that will get left out. God is going to be even more thorough. The student profile may cover most parts of me, but my Eternal Profile will cover it all.

Raised by a Cross

On my way home from work today, I sang, among other hymns, Nearer, My God, to Thee, and I was, once again, struck by the second line: "E'en though it be a cross That raiseth me."

In life, we will experience countless trials, and then we will eventually die. There's a lot of suffering involved. But all that suffering is meant to help us draw nearer to God. They're supposed to help us develop Christlike attributes and remind us to turn to Him. If we let them, the crosses we have to carry can also carry us closer to God.

So, I'm going to try not to complain too much about my troubles and trials. Instead, I'm going to look for ways to use them to raise me up.

Hoping it Helps

Today, I tried to help someone and someone else tried to help me. In both cases, the attempted helper said "I hope it helps," and while I can't speak for the person who helped me, I'd like to explore and hopefully explain what I meant when I said that.

Firstly, I should admit that my hope was somewhat, if not mostly, selfish. I wanted to know that my "help" actually helped because I felt that that would help me feel good about myself. I like to think that I am a competent and helpful person who contributes positively to the lives of those around me. I hope that my help helps people because I want to be able to think of myself as being a helpful, useful, worthwhile person.

But there is also an unselfish component of my hope. In addition to hoping that I'm helpful for the sake of my self-esteem, I also hope that those I help are actually helped for their sakes. Case in point, the person I hopefully helped was looking for a place to charge one of her devices. I hope, for her sake, that she actually found such a place, whether my suggestion actually helped or not. She expressed a desire for help, and I hope she got it, regardless of whether she got it from me.

So, when I hope I helped someone, I'm neither entirely selfish nor selfless. Part of me hope I helped for my own sake, and part of me hope they got the help they needed for theirs. Sometimes, my hope of helpfulness is motivated more by one reason than the other, but there is almost always at least a little bit of both.

I always hope that I can help people, sometimes for their sakes, and sometimes for mine.

The Ball, the Bow, and the Boat

Following some good advice, I spent part of this afternoon looking ahead at the upcoming week's Come Follow Me lesson. I specifically focused on the Primary version of the lesson, since that's the one I'm going to help teach next week. The lesson seems to focus on three familiar stories from the Book of Mormon: the finding of the Liahona, the breaking of Nephi's bow, and the building of the ship. The title of the lesson is “I Will Prepare the Way before You,” and I can see why. These three stories seem to share the common theme of God providing aid to help the faithful through difficult and otherwise impossible tasks.

The first bit of aid God offers is the ball or compass that later came to be known as the Liahona. God provided it to Lehi and his family to give them direction as they traveled in the wilderness toward the Promised Land. They had never been through this part of the wilderness, and they had no idea where the Promised Land was. Without clear direction, they could easily have gotten lost. In fact, since the Liahona worked only according to their faithfulness to the Lord, there were times when they stopped  heeding God, lost the guidance of the Liahona, and spent some time being hopelessly lost. The Liahona shows that we need to be faithful in order to receive God's guidance.

Shortly after Lehi finds the Liahona, Nephi's bow breaks, making it almost impossible for the family to hunt enough food. Many family members complain about their bad luck and how doomed they are and how they never should have left home. However, Nephi was faithful and diligent. He made a new bow, consulted the compass, and followed its directions toward food he could hunt for his family. This story shows that, even when difficult circumstances arise, God can help us get through them as we follow His directions and do our part.

And finally, the family reaches the ocean and have to sail across it to reach the Promised Land. The bad news is that none of them know anything about shipbuilding, but luckily, God does. The Lord gives Nephi directions, which he and his family then follow, and as a result, they are able to make a sea-worthy vessel that carries them across the ocean, through a storm, and into the Promised Land. Building a boat, especially a sea-worthy boat, would have been an impossible task for them without the Lord's guidance, but as they follow His plan, the family succeeded with miraculous results.

The combined message seems to be that, if we are faithful, the Lord can guide and direct us to accomplish difficult things, even things that would be impossible for us on our own. I like this message, and I especially like how it ties these three stories together. This should help make the lesson cohesive and succinct and thus easier for the children (and us) to remember and apply. Our circumstances aren't exactly like Nephi's, but we also have challenges that we may not be able to overcome on our own, and as we rely on God's guidance, he can help us overcome our challenges. The journey may still be difficult, but with God's help, nothing is impossible. We just need to seek His directions and follow them.

Unprepared for Primary

This week, after two weeks of being unable to, I will be returning to help in my Primary class. Unfortunately, I haven't spent much time studying the lesson. Of course, I've been following along with the Come Follow Me lesson for Individuals and Families, and I've been reading the Book of Mormon chapters with my family, but I haven't spent much time looking at the specific discussion questions in Come Follow Me for Primary. I'm afraid I won't be much help to my teaching companion this week.

Still, having reviewed the lesson just know, I've seen that these discussion points are, thankfully and not surprisingly, fairly basic: Heavenly Father sent Jesus Christ to earth because He loves me, the Book of Mormon teaches precious truths, and the word of God gives me power to resist temptation. I could probably lead a 20-minute lesson on any number of those topics without much preparation. I got lucky this week. Next week, I should make a point of studying and potentially blogging about the Primary version of this lesson early on in the week. That way, I can ponder the messages throughout the week and be much better prepared to share those messages at the end of the week.

In the upcoming weeks, I'll try to be better prepared to share that week's lesson. For this week, I can only hope that what little preparation I've done will be enough.

Making the Most of Temple Time

On our way to the temple this morning, I imagined a superhero with a somewhat unique ability. He could create hoops in the air, then a pulling force (which he could charge up for greater effect) would then pull him through them. I realized that these hoops couldn't be stationary in space because, if they were, the earth's revolutions around the sun and our solar system's revolutions around the galaxy would cause the stationary hoops to immediately fly out into space (or so it would seem from our perspective). Instead, the hoops had to be anchored to fixed points relative to the earth. Then I figured that if the hoops could be fixed to points relative to the earth, perhaps they could be fixed to other objects instead. I also figured that since every action had an equal and opposite reaction, the same force that was pulling the superhero toward and through the hoop was also pulling the hoop toward and around the superhero, potentially bringing the object to which it was affixed with it.

As I played around with the physics of this superpower in my mind, I puzzled over the question of whether this power set could be used to push an object away from the superhero, which would be a useful ability to have. I decided that the hero could only pull on his hoops, not push himself away from them, and I thought of several convoluted methods of trying to push an object around by pulling on the hoop whose position is affixed to it.

Eventually, I solved the puzzle. If the object, the superhero, and the hoop formed a straight line in that order, with the superhero standing between the object and the hoop whose position is set to a point relative to the object, then the superhero could "push" the object away from him by pulling the hoop toward him while the hoop maintained a constant distance away from the object. Of course, for this to work, the superhero would have to be sufficiently anchored or the object sufficiently light, but I figured that the hero could anchor himself with a strong pulling force to a point affixed to a sufficiently massive object, like the earth.

And I thought about all of that while I was at the temple.

Obviously, that was not a good use of Temple Time.

Thankfully, I spent a good deal of time at the temple, so I was able to shelve the physics-defying hoop hero for a while and instead spend a good deal of time focusing on spiritual matters. I meditated, I pondered, and I felt the Spirit strongly, as one should when one attends the Temple. With my thoughts affixed to the right spiritual objects, I was able to pull myself a little closer to my heavenly home.

It's fine to think of superheroes every so often, and solving puzzles is a fun way to develop our brains. Figuring out how the hoop-puller could "push" on objects may have helped a bit toward my mental development and thus my spiritual development, since our minds are part of our spirits, but focusing on spiritual matters had a much greater effect and was thus a much better use of my time.

We only have a short amount of time in mortality, and we can only spend a small fraction of that time at the temple. When we do get Temple Time, it's important to make good use of it.

Religions Appreciation Class

Yesterday, I attended the first meeting of my Intro to World Religions class, and so far, I love it. After dispensing some introductory information, the teacher spent a good deal of time explaining what the class is and what it is not. Notably, it is not comparative. We're not comparing the various religions against each other, but rather, we will be learning what we can from each religion. Similarly, this won't be a balanced or comprehensive exploration of each religion we cover, weighing both the pros and the cons of each religion, but rather, we will look at each religion at its best and look for the light and goodness in all of them. The purpose of the course is not to merely learn about the different religions, but to embrace the world and its peoples, to take religion seriously, and to make a sincere effort to communicate and understand.

This struck me as being refreshingly positive. So much of life revolves around conflict and competition, but this class seems to focus on the opposite. Instead of pitting religions against each other, this class seems to call for a cooperation between various religions to achieve the common goal of ennobling the human spirit. Truth and light are found by all those who sincerely seek it, and not all of those people are of our faith. Some of those people are from faiths whose beliefs and practices are very different from ours. Still, wherever light can be found, it should be embraced and appreciated. In that sense, this Intro to World Religions class may appropriately be called a Religions Appreciation Class, and I really like the sound of that.

I look forward to looking for and at the good in each of the religions we discuss, and I look forward to appreciating and embracing the good we find. This is going to be an edifying and uplifting class, and I have a feeling that I am going to love it.

God Does Suffer Much

Tonight, in our Family Scripture Study, we read 1 Nephi 13, including the following passages:

. . . thou seest that the Lord God will not suffer that the Gentiles will utterly destroy the mixture of thy seed, which are among thy brethren. 

Neither will he suffer that the Gentiles shall destroy the seed of thy brethren.

Neither will the Lord God suffer that the Gentiles shall forever remain in that awful state of blindness, which thou beholdest they are in, . . .
1 Nephi 13: 30-32

When I heard this, I remarked that it sounds like the Lord God isn't going to suffer much! Then, in my heart, the Holy Ghost told me "But He does."

God does suffer much, both in the sense that He allows a lot of things to happen and in the sense that it hurts Him to allow it. He doesn't want to see His children sin, and He doesn't want to see His children suffer, for their sins, for others', or for any other reason. Yet, He knows that it's essential for us to have our agency, even when we use it in ways that hurt ourselves and others, and He knows that, while the natural results of the laws of physics can be painful, they must be obeyed. He allows pain and suffering to exist, both ours and His, because this is the best way to bring about the greatest possible good.

So, yes, God does suffer much, both because He loves us enough to let us have our agency and because He loves us enough that it hurts Him to see us misuse it. God may not allow certain world-shaping events to happen, but He generally lets us do whatever we want, even if it hurts people. Let's not do that. Let's try to use the agency He suffers us to have to try to make sure He doesn't have to suffer any more than He already does.

Getting Profiled

A student who works for The Express, "Sac City's Student-Run Newspaper," if I'd be willing to let them write a Student Profile about me. Judging by the other profiles I've seen, the article would be short, no more than a page or two, and it would focus on one or two aspects of my life. The question now is which aspect of my life I would want them to focus on.

It could be just about anything, from going to Institute and being a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints to being a Writing Tutor or playing D&D. I'm not supposed to advertise anything, at least not anything commercial, but other than that, there seems to be some flexibility in what topics are covered.

Granted, since it's a school newspaper, it should probably have something to do with some of the classes I've taken or am taking. The many English classes I've taken can easily apply to being a Writing Tutor. Some of the English and Philosophy classes I've taken can be creatively applied to D&D. And this semester, I'm taking a Religions of the World class, which could be used as an excuse to mention that I'm LDS.

I suppose I really ought to consider my purpose. This could be a good opportunity to draw attention to something I want to promote, whether that's ethics or religion or the Institute or the Writing Center or even D&D.

However, I also don't want to do anything too controversial. This is a fairly Liberal college. I don't want to draw too much attention to how Conservative and Libertarian I am. I don't want to make anyone uncomfortable, including myself. I can comfortably talk about the Writing Center and how D&D can be used to explore ethics and tell stories with friends, but if I want to talk about the Institute or the Church, I'm going to want to tread carefully so as not to step on anybody's toes.

Knowing me, I'm probably going to chicken out and talk about something safe, like the Writing Center or D&D. If I do D&D, at least I can talk about ethics and the importance of acting ethically, even if I don't get religion or politics involved.

And all of this depends on actually getting the opportunity at all. The student I spoke to only asked me if I'd be willing/interested. He also said that he'd need to talk to his editor about whether they want to write a profile about me or someone else.

If I am chosen, this might be a good opportunity to put myself out there in front of the rest of the school, but whether that's good, bad, or neutral depends largely on which foot I decide to put forward.

Thank Them By Name

Last night, I filled out a survey, describing an experience I had when I went to a fast food place not long ago. The experience was that I had been unclear when placing my order. I had wanted two drink items, but the cashier thought that I had wanted one drink item, and then that I had changed my mind and wanted a different item. When I started getting my food, I realized the mistake, and the cashier was very patient and professional in helping me correct it. Overall, it was a good experience, largely because of that cashier. At the end of the survey, the survey asks if there were any employees I want to note for their exceptional service. However, I couldn't. As grateful as I am for that cashier, I failed to catch his name. I wanted to give him some recognition, but now I don't know how I'd recognize him. I can't even remember what he looked like.

Long story short, I missed an opportunity to properly thank someone.  I don't want to make that mistake again. The next time someone does something especially nice for me (and I notice and hopefully remember this pledge), I'm going to try to make sure I know who they are so I can thank them properly, by name. Too often, people don't get the recognition they deserve for the good work they do. The next time, someone does some good work for me, I hope I thank them by name.

Everyday Reminders to Pray Every Day

At Stake Conference this morning, one of the speakers gave a talk about Prayer, and one of the lessons I got from that talk is that there is no bad time to pray. People can pray at any time, for any reason. It's recommended that we pray frequently, if not constantly, so any commonplace occurrence can be a good reminder to pray. I recently was given the idea of praying whenever I drank water. One returned missionary mentioned in the talk this morning had a habit of praying whenever he got out of a car. Others prayed whenever they saw the sky. Literally any moment at all is a good time to pray. So, if there's something you do frequently, like use the restroom, or open a door,  or write or comment on a post on social media, you might consider making that a reminder to pray. We can have a prayer in our hearts even while we're doing other things, so perhaps we could make a habit of praying whenever we do things that we already do every day.

A Good Flow

I have a vice of too often going with the flow. Often, I do whatever is easiest. Granted, I try to do what I need to do, whether it's easy or not, but I try to find the simplest, easiest way to do it. This "go with the flow" mentality means that I don't go out much, unless there's something I need to do or really want to do. Staying in is much easier. Staying in this evening would have been relatively easy, but thankfully, going out was about as easy.

Tonight was the adult session of my stake's Stake Conference, and I almost had an excuse not to go. Some of my family members were running some errands, and it looked like they might not make it, and I figured that I might as well stay home with them. However, by the time I learned this, I had already dressed for Stake Conference. While I was perfectly happy to stay home, I was already dressed to go out. So, when my family managed to get home and get dressed faster than they expected to, joining them was just as easy as staying home. I almost stayed home from Stake Conference tonight because I had an easy excuse to stay home, but I went because my family made it just as easy to go.

I'm grateful that I have a family that makes making the right decision pretty easy for me. Of course, some decisions are still harder than others, but for the most part, doing good is fairly easy because of my family's traditions and examples. I go with the flow more often than I should, but in my home, the flow is going in the right direction more often than not. When I have a home of my own, I'm going to try to set the precedent of always going to church meetings and keeping the standards and commandments so it'll be easy for the members of my household to follow suit.

It's not always wise to "go with the flow." I'm lucky I was raised in a good one.

Immortality is Permanent

Considering the fact that Mortality is Temporary has led me to consider the fact that eternity isn't. Mortality isn't a permanent state. Eventually, we will all pass on, and when we do, we will move on to a place where we will live forever. That's why it's so important to prepare for the afterlife now. We only have a limited amount of time to determine where we will spend the rest of eternity. The choices we make now will affect our futures for all time. That means that, temporary or not, mortality is extremely important. The test of mortality may not last forever, the results of the test will. I hope we all endure mortality well. Our immortality and eternal life depend on it.

Faith to Desire to See

After Nephi was told of Lehi's vision of the Tree of Life, he expressed a desire to see the vision himself. I don't think that this implies that he doubted his father at all. This wasn't Nephi asking to see evidence that Lehi had truly seen a vision. Rather, I think it was more that he wanted to dig into the vision himself. We do something similar when we check out a book or movie someone tells us about, not because we doubt their report that it was a good book or movie, but because we believe them. I think that Nephi wanted to see the vision for himself because he believed that it was a vision that was worth seeing. Wanting to see the vision for himself wasn't an admission of doubt. It was an expression of faith.

(Sym)Pathetic Bandits

In my current D&D game, our party was just attacked by bandits; however, with a few exceptions, these bandits don't seem to be very good at their job. Their attacks don't land very often, and when they do, they don't hit very hard. Meanwhile, the much more competent adventurers they're fighting are, for the most part, proving to be much better combatants than the bandits. These bandits are all almost certainly going to die.

Noting the general lack of skill these bandits possess, someone noted that these bandits must be fairly desperate if they were willing to attack us, and that caused me, through my character, to feel a twinge of sympathy for them. It wasn't long ago that my character was, himself, a penniless street bandit, sneaking and stealing to get by. He was one of the lucky ones. He was good at burglary, and he was able to steal what he needed without having to fight for it. Then one day, he stole something that gave him magical power, and now he no longer needs to steal at all. My character was lucky to get out of the same situation that the bandits he's fighting are now in, and he feels a certain amount of empathy for them. Granted, he will continue to fight them to defend himself, his friends, and their belongings, but after this battle, I plan to put my character through some serious introspection, and possibly an alignment change, assuming he survives the fight.

I think that there are a lot of bandits in the world who aren't actually bad people; they're just desperate. Many of them just don't have enough to get by and can't get what they need through any other way than stealing. Is it still morally wrong for them to steal? I don't know. I wouldn't want to be the one who has to judge them. When a person is in a desperate situation, they're liable to do just about anything, and stealing isn't the worst crime a desperate person might commit. I don't want to be stolen from, and I will prevent a theft, if I can, but I would rather have a person successfully steal from me than have them die trying or starve. If I were in my character's shoes, I'm not sure how hard I would fight to defend my stuff. Heck, I'm not sure how hard I would fight to defend my stuff. While I believe that stealing is wrong and that most of the people who do it have better options, I have to admit that there may be some people who have no better choice than to steal. Some people genuinely are that desperate, and I feel sorry for them. Some people haven't been as lucky as I have been, and I have some sympathy for them.

Lay on Hands

In the Fifth (current) Edition of D&D, 1st Level Paladins get an ability called Lay on Hands. Unsurprisingly, it's a healing ability. Paladins can use this ability to restore Hit Points and cure diseases, like colds or flus.

Unfortunately, this power is fictional. If this power were real, and I had access to it (as any Paladin would), I certainly would have used it. At least, I think I would.

Yet, I had access to a real form of divine magic, including the power of healing through the laying on of hands, and I didn't use it. I didn't even think of it. Sure, I prayed that I might get well soon, but the thought that I might seek a Priesthood blessing never crossed my mind.

Thankfully, it doesn't seem like I needed it. I feel much better now than I did a week ago. I'm on the mend. But it seems odd to me that, for a man as interested in magic as I am, it didn't even occur to me that I could use it in real life.

God has extended some of His divine power to us, especially specifically for healing the sick and afflicted, like me. I now feel very foolish for not thinking of calling on that power when I could have used it.

Shifting Definitions of Heroism

A Youtuber I follow, Red from a channel called Overly Sarcastic Productions, recently published a video about Antiheroes in which she briefly discussed how "The concept of heroism is extremely flexible and varies over time and from culture to culture." She then listed several traits that are considered heroic or unheroic in some cultures and contexts and the opposite in others, wrapping up that brief exploration by concluding that "What defines a hero is completely determined by the cultural landscape of the time, and thus what defines an antihero is similarly flexible."

In my opinion, she's only partly right about that. She's absolutely right that society's standards of heroism can and do change over time. However, God's standards don't. His standards have remained consistent for thousands of years. Certainly, they have been interpreted and applied differently by various people across the years, but His standards and virtues have ultimately remained unchanged.

So, if one wants to be a hero in the eyes of society, one had better be prepared to change their values and practices according to society's whims, but if one wants to be a hero in the eyes of God, one had better be prepared to be judged as an antihero, or worse, a villain, by society's shifting definitions. I know which one I would rather be, but to be a hero in God's eyes, it's going to take a heroic amount of courage.

Sick on the Sabbath

I didn't go to church today. However, in lieu of church worship, I spent that time doing personal gospel study, and I came to a few conclusions, one of which is that, when we're not learning new lessons, we're often reviewing lessons that we can stand to keep working on. In my case, I was inspired by the faithfulness of Nephi in seeking and following spiritual guidance. Now, the need to seek and follow the Holy Spirit isn't a new lesson for me. I've known about the critical importance of spiritual guidance for decades. Yet, I sometimes struggle. I wonder how many times I would have tried what I thought was the best way to get the brass plates before I realized that I really ought to ask God what His plan was. I also thought about what I could do more to seek spiritual guidance, and I figured that I'm already on the right track with my Prayer, Hymns, and Meditation goal. I meditated for a few minutes during my personal gospel study, and I felt the Spirit stronger than I had in a long while. I'm glad I decided to do that. And I'm glad that I was able to get some gospel study in, even though I was, and still am, sick. Thanks to the many tools and blessings God has given us, we can know that God isn't out of reach for any of us, even those who are stuck home sick.

Sabbath Day or Sick Day?

I'm glad I went to Family Day, but now I have to consider whether I'm going to go to church. Part of my concern is that, as part of my calling, I work with children. I really don't want to spread my illness to them. Wearing a mask at church would raise more questions and start more conversations than I want to deal with. And while I try to be a practicing member of the choir, I'm really in no shape for it this week.

I could go for the lessons, except that I doubt I'll get much out of them, and maybe I should go for The Sacrament, but I think I can afford to miss a week as long as I make sure I make it next week.

I know that church is important, but I really don't feel like going this week. I have some good reasons to go, but I also have some good reasons not to go. Maybe I should go, to show God how devoted I am, or maybe I shouldn't go, to safeguard others' health. It's another tough decision; one that may call for another coin toss.

Or maybe - a novel thought - I should make it a matter of prayer. I should ask God whether He thinks I should go or not. I should have asked Him whether or not I should go to Family Day. I should ask Him more questions more often.

Family Day or Sick Day?

I wonder whether it would be a good idea for me to go to Family Day tomorrow. For those who may not know, my family is getting together tomorrow to celebrate the day we were sealed (which was actually January 25th, but we're doing something else that day). The plan is to hang out, eat snacks, play games, and generally enjoy one another's company. There's just one problem: I'm still sick. I want to spend time with my family, but I don't really feel up to going anywhere, and I especially don't want to get anyone else sick. I can reduce the risk of sharing the illness by wearing a face mask and using cough drops and hand sanitizer, so the risk of germ transfer could be fairly minimal, but is that still a risk worth taking? Would others be happier if I went than if I didn't? Would I be happier if I went than if I didn't?

A related question is whether or not I should go to church. My teaching companion knows that I might not be able to make it, and he assured me that he would prepare this week's lesson, so I don't have to worry about that. I have no responsibilities that would obligate me to go to church. So, the question is what the odds are that I'll spread the illness and whether the benefits (both to myself and others) of me going outweigh the risk I would be imposing on others.

Regarding church, I think I might stay home. I doubt I add enough joy to other's lives by being there that I can justify the risk of getting others sick, even if the risk is fairly small. And if I show up at church with a mask on, inevitably starting conversations about how sick I am, all that will do is make people feel sorry for me, and I don't want that to happen, both because I'm too proud to be okay with people feeling sorry for me and because I don't much care for conversations in general. Unless I feel fully cured tomorrow, I think I would rather not go to church the day after.

But then, if I'm not going to church, should I go to Family Day? Unlike church members, there are at least a few family members whose enjoyment of the day might be increased by my attendance. For that reason alone, I should at least consider it. Then again, if my attendance makes anyone else less comfortable, I shouldn't go. In hindsight, I should have brought this question to everyone else via email rather than just debating myself in my mind over the last few days, but it may be too late for that now.

I think maybe I shouldn't go. If anyone's experience is made worse by me being there, then I probably shouldn't go. I'll have other opportunities to spend time with family on other days, when I'm feeling better, and we just had Christmas, what, two or three weeks ago? We saw each other then. Maybe it'd be alright for me to miss the family gathering this time. I don't know. I'm sure my Mom wants me to go, and my sister would probably say that if I want to go, I should go. Maybe I will go, regardless of whatever consequences may follow, but I'm not the one who has to live with those consequences, so maybe that's not my decision to make.

Maybe I'll just wait to see how I feel about it tomorrow. Who knows? Maybe I'll feel much better (or worse) tomorrow, making the decision relatively easy. Or maybe I'll just flip a coin.

God and Water

I'm half-way through a story in which a major plot point is that a large group of people praise a particular deity when they drink water. Reflecting on this, I decided that that's not a bad idea. Water is essential. All life on Earth depends on water for its survival, just as we depend on God. We regularly need to drink water to stave off dehydration, and we regularly need to praise God to stave off sin and secularism. Were I feeling at all clever at the moment, I might even draw some poetic meaning from the phrase "living water" or the idea of the Spirit of God moving upon the face of the waters (Gen 1:2), but I'm too tired for that right now. For now, it's enough for me to know that we need water and we need God, and we can use water to remind us to thank and praise God about as often as we should. So, as often as I remember to, I'm going to praise God whenever I take a drink of water or wash my hands, dishes, or body with water or basically do anything else with water. We drink and use water all the time because it's so good and useful and important. The same is even more true with God.

Still Relatively Blessed

I'll keep this brief because I took some night time cold medicine, and I think it's making me drowsy, but I just want to acknowledge that, despite being sick, I am still richly blessed. My physical health is still relatively good compared to some others and is likely to recover, I don't have many financial worries, and my family is generally loving and supportive. All in all, I've got it pretty good, minor illness notwithstanding. I thank God that my trials are few and relatively minor, and I pray that I won't fall into the sin of self-pity, forgetting that my life is still much more pleasant than many other people's.

Mortality is Temporary

I'm still sick, which is kind of a bummer, but the good news is that I know that it's temporary. All mortal experiences are temporary, including mortality itself. Whether I get over this cold in a matter of days or whether I stay sick for the rest of my life, this illness will eventually end. Eventually, I will have a perfect, immortal body, and then I'll never get sick again. That's something to look forward to, I guess. I'm confident that I'll shake off this illness shortly, but whether I do or not, I'm comforted by the knowledge that all of our afflictions are temporary. As with everyone else who has ever lived, I will be whole and well again. This illness of mine won't last forever. No mortal experience will.

Sick Day - Misery Doesn't Always Love Company

I'm taking a sick day off from blogging today. I hope I feel better by the next time I plan to meet up with people, but I also hope that I don't/didn't make anyone else sick. They say that "misery loves company," but in this case (apart from blogging about it), I'd rather keep my misery to myself.

Book of Mormon Stories

More likely than talking about being a witness for the Book of Mormon, I might do something simpler, easier, and more fun with the Primary class. Since we're going to spend the year studying The Book of Mormon, we might spend the first class period discussing our favorite Book of Mormon stories. For instance, I love the story of when Captain Moroni had the army of Zerahemnah surrounded at the river Sidon. Both sides of that conflict acted fairly honorably, demonstrating good examples of how I ought to conduct myself.

I also love the story of Nephi and his brothers trying to get the Brass Plates from Laban. I'm a big fan of D&D, and this story is the one story I've found that most closely resembles a D&D game. The party has a quest to go get a thing from a place, they cast lots (perhaps by rolling dice) to decide who should make the first attempt, the first two social interactions go south almost immediately, there's some inter-party conflict that gets shut down by the DM, and the party is generally having a pretty hard time with the quest, but then, after a few lucky breaks, an ethical dilemma, and some good Deception checks, the party retrieves the quest item and even picks up a new player who joins the party. It might be fun to run a D&D adventure based on that, even though the premise, Get Important Item from Wealthy, Unfriendly NPC, is fairly simple.

I'm sure there are plenty of other good Book of Mormon stories that the class will want to discuss, which should eat up what time we have, help us get to know each other, and get us excited to study The Book of Mormon and read the many stories in it.

And all of that is assuming my teaching companion doesn't have a better plan. I think we'll be alright.

Being a Witness - Don't Keep It Secret

Depending on how the second hour of church goes tomorrow, I may be called upon to teach a short lesson inspired by the introductory pages of The Book of Mormon. If that happens, I might focus on the testimonies of the witnesses, a total of a dozen people who all shared their experience with The Book of Mormon. Naturally, we are supposed to follow their example. God wants each of us to share the truths and blessings we have with others, including those found in The Book of Mormon and The Book of Mormon itself.

However, I have some concerns related to hypocrisy. I don't want to teach a lesson I don't live, at least not without confessing that I need the lesson as much as anyone else does. If I encourage my class to be witnesses of The Book of Mormon, I need to be (or become) willing to be such a witness myself. So, knowing that I'm going to be morally obligated to follow my own counsel, what counsel am I willing to give? What am I willing to do to share The Book of Mormon?

Evidently, I'm willing to blog about it. While I don't go out of my way to share my religion and beliefs, I don't go out of my way to hide it either. It's no secret that I, Andrew Robarts, am a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. And if it ever was a secret, it certainly isn't now. Anyone who knows me can look me up on Facebook, where I share these blog posts (I think publicly). Anyone who's friends with me, perhaps even everyone who has a Facebook account, and certainly everyone who stumbles onto this blog, has the opportunity to learn that I read from and believe in The Book of Mormon.

Granted, I'm not going to invite a bunch of 7- and 8-year-olds to share their faith on social media, but I will ask them not to make a secret of it. If anybody asks what religion you ascribe to or what you think of The Book of Mormon, tell them. If you're feeling especially witnessy, you might even include a mention of church when people ask you how your weekend was instead of just saying "it was alright." I'm not entirely comfortable going out of my way to share the Gospel of Jesus Christ, and in this political climate, I'm not sure it's really smart for a person to share their beliefs unless they're prepared to face ostracization. Yet, I am willing to let it be known that I am a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. I don't keep it secret from others. When they ask, I tell them. To at least that extent, I am willing to be a witness of The Book of Mormon. So, I don't think I'll feel like a hypocrite for asking that much of my class.

Two Omnipresent Influences

Today, I remarked about successfully drawing inspiration for a blog post out of a Star Wars cartoon, and I was reminded that we can see God's influence in all things. To my recollection, I responded with something about His influence "or the other guy's." Both God and Satan have an influence on just about everything. God puts something good in just about everything, and Satan slips evil into everything he can. So, while it's good to look for God's influence in everything and to see His hand in all things, it's also important to watch out for Satan's influence as well. There's at least some good in just about everything, but there's also some bad in just about everything, so it's important to not just be careful about what shows we watch and what games we play, but also to be careful whose messages we learn from those shows and games.

Fighting Against Violence

A character in a show I recently started watching said that "fighting for peace" is a contradiction, and when she said that, I had to pause the video to process my thoughts about that. I understand that fighting to defend oneself and others is sometimes necessary, but I have to admit that fighting for peace does sound like a contradiction. A peaceful person would never resort to violence, would they?

I suppose it depends on how they stack their hierarchy of values. It's good to believe that hurting others is wrong, but I also believe that it's wrong to allow someone else to hurt others. If I see someone attack someone else, and the only way I can stop the attacker is by using violence against them, then I have to make a choice. I have to choose whether to exercise violence or whether to allow violence to persist. It's a difficult choice, and I don't fault anyone for making a different choice than I might make. Heck, which choice I make may depend on the specific details of the situation. I believe that neither violence nor nonviolence are always wrong. Some situations call for violence, and others don't.

Yet, I can understand why some people might, on moral grounds, commit themselves to nonviolence. I'd say that this stance is the better one most of the time. And if everyone agreed to solve their problems nonviolently, then violence would cease, and the world would be better for it. But some people do decide to try to solve their problems with violence, and sometimes it is necessary to use violence to stop them. Granted, this won't be true in all situations, and when there is a nonviolent solution, it should at least be considered, but there are times when using violence to stop violence is the best choice.

I don't want to hurt anyone, but I don't want to let anyone hurt anyone else, either. If I had to hurt someone in order to stop them from hurting me or someone else, I very well might. I'd like to think that I'd be brave enough to fight to stop a violent person. Any good paladin should. Yet, I have to admit that I can understand why some people would hold a different opinion. It's not quite a contradiction, but it is a bit ironic that it is sometime necessary to use violence to stop violence.

The Final Exam of Life

Being a student, I have become somewhat familiar with the practices of academics. Each class consists of instruction and assignments designed to test one's understanding and application of that instruction. There are usually several small assignments, perhaps a few medium-sized assignments or mid-terms, and then one large assignment at the end of the term. Each of these assignments are worth a portion of the students' grades, with the largest assignments being worth the largest percent of the students' grades. As a student, I learned that, while the final assignment is the most important one, that doesn't mean that one can safely neglect the smaller assignments. Every assignment contributes to one's final grade, which itself is an average of how well one did on each assignment, with some assignments weighted to have a greater influence than others.

The Final Judgement isn't quite like that. While each of the many tests of life are important, I don't think they'll all affect our "final grades." God doesn't judge us on a basis of how much good we did weighed against how much evil we did. Instead, our final grades are largely determined by how we do on the final exam. I believe that, at the Final Judgement, God will be more interested in testing what sorts of people we are than asking what sorts of things we did. Naturally, what we do is a reflection of who we are, but God's main concern is what sorts of people we ultimately become, not how badly or how frequently we stumble on our way to becoming that way.

For instance, one could fail miserably at the first several tests of life, but as long as one eventually learns from those failures and becomes a better person, I don't think those early failures will be held against them. Alternatively, if one is raised in the light and walks in it for a while, but then turns against it, I'm not sure how much that early righteousness will help them. God seems far more interested in who we become than who we were.

So, while there are several tests and quizzes building up to the Final Exam, that Exam is the part that's worth the vast majority of our "final grade." That's why it's important to use the smaller tests to help us prepare for the Final Exam. Let's use our smaller tests to help us figure out how we're doing in this class and what we need to do or not do to perform well in the Final Exam. We get daily indications of what we're doing well or poorly, but none of that will ultimately affect our grades. In the end, we will be judged not by how we did during our lives but by how well we turned out by the end of it.