Hoping it Helps

Today, I tried to help someone and someone else tried to help me. In both cases, the attempted helper said "I hope it helps," and while I can't speak for the person who helped me, I'd like to explore and hopefully explain what I meant when I said that.

Firstly, I should admit that my hope was somewhat, if not mostly, selfish. I wanted to know that my "help" actually helped because I felt that that would help me feel good about myself. I like to think that I am a competent and helpful person who contributes positively to the lives of those around me. I hope that my help helps people because I want to be able to think of myself as being a helpful, useful, worthwhile person.

But there is also an unselfish component of my hope. In addition to hoping that I'm helpful for the sake of my self-esteem, I also hope that those I help are actually helped for their sakes. Case in point, the person I hopefully helped was looking for a place to charge one of her devices. I hope, for her sake, that she actually found such a place, whether my suggestion actually helped or not. She expressed a desire for help, and I hope she got it, regardless of whether she got it from me.

So, when I hope I helped someone, I'm neither entirely selfish nor selfless. Part of me hope I helped for my own sake, and part of me hope they got the help they needed for theirs. Sometimes, my hope of helpfulness is motivated more by one reason than the other, but there is almost always at least a little bit of both.

I always hope that I can help people, sometimes for their sakes, and sometimes for mine.